Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Death Note.

AN 2010: Yay I finished the editing. Only JNRR to go….

AN: I hope everyone will enjoy this as much as the other one. This one will be slightly different. For one it's ALL in first person. I don't skip around at all, well maybe for the epilogue... Second this will be darker, how much even I'm not sure.

However, I found that the song "I'm Not An Angel" by Halestorm inspired the ENTIRE sequel, so read the lyrics and you will understand how dark and emotional this has the potential to become. :) Happy reading.

Suggested Listening: Midnight Heartache & Sound Memory by SEPTEMBER

Prologue: Underwater

I tried to concentrate on the music, a techno song about 'memories', but the hands pressing harshly at my hips and the nipping at my collar bone wouldn't let me. My mouth was dry and my heart raced fast in my chest; I almost wished it would fail so that I could be done with this. But then Matt would be alone.

My eyes fluttered closed and I bit my lip as the man above me slicked my entrance. Matt was the only one who was supposed to touch me. And in order to save him... I was reduced to selling myself once more...

(Content removed. available on my Adult fan fiction account, and soon my Ao3)

... I was no more than a cheap whore; only I got information instead of money.

"You really are as good as they say." I forced myself to smirk and turn around. "Of course I am." my smirk was cocky and oozed sex. It was one that I made sure Matt never saw. The man got up and strode naked over to his jacket and pulled something out, and for a moment I thought it might be a gun.

Then he tossed a small black object at me; catching it I noticed it was a flash drive.

"Everything that I could find is on there. If you ever need anything else you know who to contact." it was a clear dismissal. I said nothing as I quickly dressed, the smell of sex seeping into the leather, and was out the door before the man even noticed.

Pulling my jacket impossibly close across my body I walked the two blocks to where my bike was. Sitting hurt but I couldn't go back without it. Matt would wonder where it was...

For a moment, just for a moment, I allowed myself to break.

A choked sob worked its way from my mouth and my hands were clenched tight around the handlebars. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I tasted the bitter salt in my mouth.

Wiping them away quickly I started the engine and sped away from that place, that area, that I had grown to know all too well.

If only the Detective Purge hadn't started, if only things had stayed calm for just a little longer...

If only there was a better way to get what I wanted...

If only I wasn't so utterly useless...

I grit my teeth and sped into the intersection, horns beeping at me from all angles as I narrowly avoided a crash. I wasn't headed home, even now. I couldn't go home like this.

I didn't even remember getting there, or knocking on the door, or falling to my knees in his doorway.

"Dear god Mello, you're killing yourself!" Jasper hissed at me. He hauled my unresponsive body off the ground and dragged me inside. The slam of the door echoed in the silent apartment.

He brought me into the bathroom and turned on the shower. "When you can do something other than an impression of a lifeless doll, clean yourself up." he closed the door roughly behind him.

I don't know for how long I sat but when the feeling in my legs finally came back I struggled out of my soiled clothing and under the hot stream of water.

I scrapped at the nail marks, at the bruises and tore open the love bites. I hated everything about this. I hated everything. Blood and semen swirled around the drain before finally disappearing from my view.

Closing my eyes tightly I quickly finished scrubbing my body raw before turning off the water. Stumbling from the shower I tripped over one of my boots and my switchblade fell out.

Picking it up, so as to not accidently step on it, I held it in my palm and eyed it unsteadily. I flipped it open and shut a few times and hissed when it nicked my finger. Blood welled from the small wound and dripped down the appendage.

I was tired.

My head hurt, my heart hurt, everything hurt and I didn't care about the blade that was suddenly pressed into my skin.

The door swung open though I barley heard it.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Jasper growled as he pried the switchblade from my grip. I cringed at his harsh words and looked away. "Look what you are doing to yourself; you never once got this bad before. Not even in the old days. What the hellis going on?"

"He knows!" I choked out. "He fucking knows, he has to!" I felt the tears prickling at my eyes once more and ignored them.

"I can see it in his eyes every time I have to lie to him; how sad he looks. I lie to him so damn much I can't remember the last truthful thing I've said!" I tugged at my hair and let out an anguished cry.

"It hurts so much... I... can't-" strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close.

"You fucking idiot. Who told you to take on everything by yourself? Who told you to save the world again?"

I shook my head weakly. "Not the world... never them, just Matt."

"If you would just tell him-" he persisted.

"I can't! He doesn't need to know that he..." I trailed off. Matt didn't need that on his shoulders, not now. Not when in a few short weeks he could be...

"I have to go." I said quietly. "You still have a spare change of my clothes?" Jasper nodded. "I'll wash these ones so you don't have to bring any over." I nodded wearily and he let go of me.

It was like this after every time; I would go to Jasper's and clean up and then go home to Matt and pretend I had been meeting with a contact and getting information for the case. For the case the entire world was watching, the case bigger than Kira had ever been.

"You're not going to try anything stupid like that again if I give this back?" Jasper asked wearily. I sighed and shook my head slowly. I was wearing myself too thin ifthat had suddenly crossed my mind as an out. I would make sure it never did again.

"Just let yourself out, I'm going to do a job for someone." he muttered in irritation.

"I'll see you in a few days then." I told him.

"I sincerely hope not." he shook his head and once more left the bathroom. Pulling myself together I went in search of clean clothes, which were where he always left them for me when I had them here, and managed to dress myself without incident.

Closing the apartment door behind me with a click, I got back to my bike and headed home. Home, the place where I wasn't so sure I was wanted anymore.

-End Underwater-

AN 2010: I didn't really have to do much to this.. just a few small changes so far.

AN: so here we go, I dove right into the plot. Hm. This chapter was more angtsy than I had intended. But oh well. Poor Mello, I was listening to a rather depressing song on repeat for him so... yeah. This is the result. (has anyone noticed I love to torture Mello? eh well…)

And I'm sure everyone is wondering what the hell is going on, but don't worry, the next two chapters explain it. Well they aren't really chapters.. more like… well just read them when I post them. Lol.

REVIEW please!