"Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?" Dawn asked

As the others chatter around her, Buffy stared straight ahead at the hole formerly known as Sunnydale. She smiled.

"Well, considering all that's happened our best course of action should be to find a hospital and shelter" Giles stated in his matter-of-fact watcher voice.

All Buffy could think of was to head to Angel in LA.

2hours and many arguments and driver changes later...

"We're here" Xander yelled, not quite as happy as he should be considering he had done most of the driving.

"Finally" willow grumbled "I'm hungry! I hope Angel still has some food"

The whole journey Buffy had been silent. The gang had all thought she was asleep and she was happy to pretend. But, truth be told she was panicking more and more the closer to their destination they got. She wasn't sure why, *well that's a lie isn't it. You know very well why. Spike.* that annoying inner voice that strangely sounded a lot like the peroxide blond vamp her heart ached for.

"Buffy?" Xander called as he approached her. "Come on Buffster wakie wakie!! Time to go and get some proper sleep in a proper bed"

"I'm up, I'm up!! Don't touch me. You're covered in blood." she grumbled as she got out of her seat and head towards the exit of the bus. "Hey Xand" she called over to him as she turned back to face him, "where's Dawn?"

"The moment the bus stopped and we went in she shot straight up the stairs and into the first room she came to, which you'll be pleased to know was the room of a teenage boy. Boy, I bet Spike's dust rumbling at that thought. Dawn in a boy's room! He'd have a fit."

At the mention of Spike Buffy flinched and decided to change the topic from her ex-lover back to her sister.

"Dawn's in a boys room?! Alone?! And you guys let her."

"Well it's not our fault. The first chance she got she was up those stairs and into a room. Angels trying to get her out as we speak. I mean what has got her so caught up she burst into tears."

"Spike" was all Buffy could give as a response.

"Spike? nah. I mean I know they used to be real close an' all but lately she barely said two words to him, let alone be friendly towards him. And I thought I was bad"

But Buffy was already inside and up the stairs before he was finished.

In the hotel...

"Buffy. Thank god." he said, relief evident in his voice. "Dawn your sisters here. Please come out"

"Dawnie? Look, I know your upset but please, just let me in" Buffy pleaded through the wooden door of the hotel room"

In reply all she got was more crying and a muffled cry of "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL"

She sighed in despair.

"Xander's right, Spike would throw a fit at this. Angel? Is someone in there with her?"

"What? Oh yeah, Connor." At her confused expression he explained "My son. It's complicated but last year Darla was brought back. We sort of had a thing one night and thus Connor was born."

"So the only person in there with my crying sister is a baby?"

"Well, no not quite. See after Connor was born we were being hunted by many different gangs all looking to take the 'miracle child' so we—

But Buffy cut him off "Cliff notes please"

"Right sorry. Uhh he was kidnapped but an old enemy of mine and taken to a hell dimension. I'm not sure what happened but he was gone 18 days our time which was 18 years his."

"MY SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SISTER IS IN THERE WITH YOUR EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD SON!!!!" Buffy yelled. She could not believe Angel could be so irresponsible.

"He's a good kid Buffy. He wouldn't take advantage."

"You know if spike were here this door would already be down and your song would have a very black eye"

"Hey that reminds me, where is captain peroxide?" on her expression he smiled with glee and added "he's not here is he. I hate to say I told you so but I told u so"

"Angel! Zip it!" Cordelia scolded as she walked up the stairs to join them "Wesley and Giles want to see you downstairs. Its fine I'll stay up here with Buffy and try to get dawn out. Go!"

Angel gave up trying to fight her orders a long time ago and just did as he was told, leaving the girls to talk.

"She'll be fine Buffy, don't worry." Cordy said once Angel was gone. "Connor will take care of her. Let's just give her some time, yeah? Come on, we'll go to my room and talk"

Once there it didn't take Buffy long to realise that the rest of the gang, probably willow, had filled her on her and spikes relationship. Buffy just burst into tears.

After a long discussion with Cordy about spike and her feelings, Buffy made the biggest confession of her life. She told Cordelia Chase she loved spike and that in a way she always had done.

On the other side of the door Angel approached to check on Cordy and Buffy when he heard Buffy's confession

"I loved him Cordy! I really loved him. And when I finally told him he was dying and wouldn't believe me.