This is Two Years Too Late from Randy's point of view.
The title of this fic comes from a song by Seether actually called Fuck It which I actually kind of think goes with Randy's point of view.
I don't own Randy Orton, Triple H, the song or anyone else mentioned here....
I guess I like it when we play
(The way you drag me down)
I guess I like it when you hate me
(The way you drag me down)
Cause I cant face myself in a mirror
(I'm left alone with all my pain)
And I disgrace myself in the mirror
(I'm left alone with my shame)
He knew that he was screwed up. He knew that there was something wrong with him. He'd been that way for a while now and he didn't even know anymore how to get back because it just kept getting worse.
He known there was something seriously wrong with him when he'd RKO'd Stacy and hadn't felt any remorse for doing it. He hadn't loved her, hadn't been able to go past a casual relationship with her.
Then his dad was there, talking in his ear. Encouraging him to keep it up. It isn't cheating if no one catches you, kid. And hadn't he heard that before? From someone else, someone other than his father?
And, God, he did not want to think about that. Except it was kind of impossible not to think about it. It was shoved in his face every week. Hunter was shoved in his face every week. He couldn't watch Raw without it. He couldn't go back to the locker room without hearing about the newly reformed DX.
That was a real kicker, too. So, all the sudden it didn't matter to these people? All the sudden it didn't matter what Hunter had done to all of them? It didn't matter to Shawn that Hunter had tried to paralyze him? Tried to end his career not too long ago?
He hated Hunter even more for that because, when he came face to face with the man for the first time, he saw it in Hunter's eyes. Something he had caught glimpses of when they had been together. Something that had him convincing himself back then that maybe the man really did care about him...
With that came everything else and he still remembered with clarity what had gone down between them. Hunter hadn't given him any warning at all. He'd thought everything was fine. Then there was the thumbs down and there was confusion and pain so horribly vibrant that he barely felt it when Hunter had busted his head open with the title.
The hatred came back. And then Edge had suggested they team up. He wasn't a complete fool, he knew he wouldn't stand a chance against Hunter and Shawn by himself. That was why he'd said yes.
It didn't matter who it was. Edge was just as bad, if not worse, than him. All Edge cared about was the WWE title and revenge on Shawn and Hunter for screwing him out of it.
Edge didn't give a damn about anyone else, not any of the other people he worked with or even Lita, who was just as bad as him. After all, she was only with Edge to screw Kane and Matt Hardy over.
The title, it was always about the title. It had always been about the title. For Edge, for Hunter. At least back then, it had been. It was an obsession for them.
It was different for him. He didn't say yes because Hunter had screwed him out of the title two years ago. The title was nothing compared to everything else. He didn't care about that. And why the hell did he still care about revenge? Edge had pointed it out, hadn't he? It had been two years.
He shouldn't have cared. Hunter had gotten his, hadn't he? Maybe he hadn't managed to do any damage but Dave sure had, hadn't he, when he'd turned on Hunter and left Evolution?
Dave...Dave was just as bad as Hunter, though. He and Dave had been friends at one point. Dave had known about he and Hunter's relationship. He'd known everything and he'd thought they were friends.
And now what? Now they all hated him. Now Dave looked at him like he used to look at Hunter, like he was the one to be ashamed of. It didn't matter to them what had happened in the past. He was just supposed to forget it, right?
He'd loved Hunter. That was the bottom line. He and Dave had been friends. Turned out he really had been a stupid, naive kid. Apparently, he hadn't realized what the business was all about. You couldn't trust anyone and you had to go through anyone to get what you want and once you realize that, well, that's when everyone leaves, when everyone starts hating you.
Fuck them all. He hated them all. Hunter, Dave, Shawn, Edge, Lita, his dad...He wanted to make them hurt. Hunter and Shawn were the only ones he could at the moment. He knew it was wrong, knew there was something wrong with that...he just didn't care.