"Are you feeling sad too?"
Tony looked up from the case file he was reading and saw that Isabella had abandoned the coloring she was doing at Gibbs' desk and had come to stand next to him. They looked at one another for a few moments.
"Yes," he answered.
Isabella nodded and returned to Gibbs' desk. McGee and Ziva looked at each other. They had both noticed that Tony was quiet that day but had put it down to tiredness after a hectic week trying to solve the mystery of the death of Gunnery Sergeant Charlton Dawson, Isabella's father.
The previous day had seen the 'successful' conclusion of the case but it had brought no satisfaction. The gunny had disappeared while driving to Norfolk to make a surprise inspection of a weapons store. When his commanding officer realised that he hadn't arrived he had raised the alarm and NCIS had been brought in. The theories about what had happened to Dawson had included desertion, theft and terrorism. The truth was more mundane. Dawson's truck had gone off the road into a ditch and had gone unnoticed for three days. Ducky had determined that the gunny had died instantly . Abby's examination of the truck showed that routine maintenance had been poor so that a problem with the brakes had been missed.
The Navy had lost a fine soldier; Cheryl Dawson had lost a beloved husband and eight year old Isabella had lost her father. Mrs Dawson had come to the Navy Yard to meet Charlton's commanding officer and hear what had gone wrong with the maintenance crew. Gibbs had met them at the elevator,
"Mrs Dawson, I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you, Agent Gibbs. I appreciate all the work your team did trying to find Charlie."
"I just wish we could have had a better outcome for you. Is this your daughter?"
"Yes, this is Isabella. I had to bring her, I couldn't find a sitter, our family is a long way away."
"No problem at all. My team will be glad to watch her while we talk to your husband's CO".
And so they had gone away, leaving Isabella with a pad of paper and some crayons which Gibbs had produced out of nowhere. She hadn't spoken to anyone until her question to Tony. She then went back to her work. A few minutes later she went and stood at Tony's desk again and handed him a picture.
"This is for you", she said.
Tony looked at the drawing of a bright yellow sun.
"Thank you, it's beautiful."
"I thought it might make you feel better," explained Isabella, "why are you sad?"
Tony hesitated. He could sense that McGee and Ziva had stopped working and were listening for his reply. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear,
"My goldfish died last night."
Isabella nodded and went back to Gibbs' desk. A few minutes later she was back,
"Agent Tony, can I have a drink, please?"
"Tony, I can take Isabella to the break room," said Ziva.
"Isabella, come with me. We'll find you something," said Tim in a cheerful scout leader voice.
Tony looked at Isabella and said,
"No need. Bella, let's go and see what we can find."
As he stood up he was surprised that the little girl slipped her hand into his. He squeezed it gently and they left the squad room together.
They stood in front of the vending machines.
"What do you want, Bella? There's milk or juice? I'm guessing your mom wouldn't want you to have a soda?"
"Milk's fine, Agent Tony. I like milk."
"Milk it is then," said Tony, getting them both a drink of milk. He made to go back to the squad room but Isabella sat down at one of the tables. Tony followed her.
"Did your goldfish have a name?" she asked.
"Yes, her name was Kate", replied Tony.
"Was she beautiful?"
"Yes, she was. Not very talkative though."
Isabella giggled, "That's silly. Goldfish can't talk."
"No," agreed Tony, "she was a good listener though."
"Had she been sick?" asked Isabella.
"No, I don't think so. She just died."
"Like my daddy," came the soft reply.
"Bella ...," began Tony uncertainly.
"Daddy calls me 'Bella'. Mommy always calls me Isabella or sometimes 'Izzy'".
"I'm sorry, Isabella."
"I don't mind you calling me Bella," she said, "it sounds nice when you say it."
"'Bella' means beautiful in Italian," explained Tony.
Isabella nodded and took a sip of her drink. Tony followed suit but managed to make a slurping noise with the straw, making her giggle again. She looked a bit guilty and said,
"Daddy always told me to be a good girl for Mommy. And last night, on the phone, Grandma said I should be a brave girl and not be any trouble."
Tony winced a bit, remembering how he had been told not to cry or be a nuisance when his mom died. Funny thing was he didn't seem to remember the adults taking their own advice. He wondered what to say but his companion continued,
"Daddy was a good listener too. Like your goldfish. Did you love her?"
Tony hesitated. He hadn't told his co-workers about Kate because he wasn't sure how they would react. He was sure that Abby would have been distraught , would have tried to arrange a full blown funeral and made sure the nuns got praying. He didn't think Tim and Ziva would have laughed but he didn't think they would have taken it very seriously. He felt he needed a half way house between Abby's overreaction and the others' lack of sympathy – truth to tell, he wasn't sure what he felt. He was sure it was ridiculous at his age to feel sad because a goldfish had died but that didn't prevent him feeling how he did,
"Yes, I did," he said, "I did love Kate."
"I loved my Daddy," said Isabella.
"I know," said Tony, "it's all right to be sad, you know."
"But what about being brave?" asked the child.
"Sometimes being brave isn't all it's cracked up to be. I don't think your daddy would mind if you cried."
NCISNCIS
"Thank you, Agent Gibbs," said Cheryl Dawson as they came down the stairs from the conference room where they had had their meeting, "you've been very kind. Now, where's Isabella?"
"Aah, Tony and your daughter went to get a drink," said Tim, "I think they went to the break room."
"I'll show you the way," said Gibbs.
"I'm worried about Izzy, Agent Gibbs," said Cheryl, "she hasn't cried at all yet, she's just gone very quiet. She adored Charlie, she was a real daddy's girl."
"She'll be all right," said Gibbs trying to be reassuring, "kids are resilient. She'll cry when she's ready."
They turned the corner into the break room and stopped in astonishment. Tony had an armful of sobbing child and his own eyes looked suspiciously damp. He looked up in horror at Mrs Dawson and his boss and began to stammer out an excuse,
"Boss, this isn't what it looks like. I didn't upset Bella, honest!"
Isabella twisted in his arms and saw her mother. She wriggled out of his embrace and ran towards Mrs Dawson,
"Mommy, mommy! Agent Tony's goldfish died!"
Cheryl hugged her daughter as she continued to cry. At that moment, Ziva came looking for them. She surveyed the scene but decided not to comment.
"Gibbs, Tony, we've just had a call from dispatch. There's some sort of disturbance at Quantico."
"I'm sorry, Mrs Dawson, we'll have to go," said Gibbs.
"I understand, Agent Gibbs. Thank you both for all you've done."
"Goodbye, Agent Tony," said a tearful Isabella, "remember that being brave's not all it's cracked up to be."
"Ciao, Bella," said Tony, "ouch, what that was that for?" he asked Gibbs indignantly, rubbing the back of his head.
"For not telling me your goldfish died!" said Gibbs as if it was obvious.
"Right, Boss. Thank you, Boss."
NCISNCIS
That night, as Tony looked mournfully at the empty goldfish bowl, he was surprised by a knock at his door. He was even more surprised when he opened it and saw Director Vance and his two children standing there.
"Director Vance! This is a ... pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?"
"Coming in would be good," said the Director drily.
"Oh ... of course, come in. Can I get you anything?" Tony said, feeling at a complete loss.
"Kayla and Jared would probably like some milk," said Vance. Tony noticed for the first time that he looked as uncomfortable with the situation as Tony did.
"Sure, I think I may have some cookies too. My dad keeps sending me care packages since he found out that I don't bake!"
Tony settled the two children in his kitchen and then came out to speak to the Director. Vance cleared his throat,
"I bumped into Mrs Dawson this afternoon ..." he began.
"Ah, I can explain that," said Tony.
"Really?" asked Leon.
"No, not really," admitted Tony, "Bella, Isabella ... was just upset about her dad".
"Mrs Dawson said Agent Gibbs' team had been real helpful with her daughter."
"That's good?" suggested Tony.
"At first I assumed that Gibbs had worked his usual magic with children", said Leon.
"He does have a way with those little ankle-biters, doesn't he?" agreed Tony with a nervous laugh.
"But Mrs Dawson assured me that it was 'Agent Tony' who seemed to have got through to her daughter," continued the Director.
Tony shrugged in embarrassment.
"Good work, Agent DiNozzo, good work," praised Leon.
"Thank you, Director," said Tony, "but you didn't need to come all this way to say that".
The Director cleared his throat again, he seemed a little embarrassed. "I happened to mention to Kayla and Jared that your goldfish died ..."
"... and we said we should buy you a new one," said Kayla, coming out of the kitchen with cookie crumbs down the front of her coat.
"But then we thought that perhaps we should get you two," said Jared excitedly.
"Because we know that people get lonely if they're on their own," said his sister.
"And goldfish probably do too," finished Jared.
"So we've just been to the pet store," said the Director, "Kids, go get the package from the hall".
The two children ran to the door and collected the package they'd left just outside.
"Aren't they cute?" said Kayla
Tony held the two plastic containers up to the light and gazed inside. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know if he was ready to replace Kate. Then he looked at Kayla and Jared who were vibrating with excitement and looking at him expectantly. Then he looked across at the Director who was clearly anxious that his children were about to suffer another disappointment. He knew what he had to do.
"Hey, roomies. Welcome to Casa DiNozzo!'
AN: pure nonsense, I know. Toying with the idea of having the funeral ...