Missing In Action

by Rae Itha

Originally a fill from the KinkMeme. Communication with Shepard is lost during a high risk mission. How will Liara handle it? As a collaboration between Rae D. Magdon and Sy Itha, the audience can expect to read about lesbians doing naughty things to each other. Lots of emotion and feels inside. And sex. Lots of that.

Liara considered herself very reasonable when it came to her and Shepard's dangerous lives. She accompanied Shepard on missions when she could, and helped with her Shadow Broker network when she was confined to the ship. A lesser asari might have tried to stop Shepard from attempting the more dangerous missions, or would perhaps insist on a larger accompaniment of soldiers. But not Liara. She was content with the full-range heart rate, adrenaline, and respiratory monitor she had installed in her lover's suit. If she ever felt concerned for the commander, she only needed to pull up the display on her monitor. For convenience's sake, she left it up at all times when Shepard was in the field. It just happened to catch her periphery every now and then. Not distracting at all. No. She was perfectly capable of keeping a level head.

Except for when Shepard's vitals blanked. Then Liara could not concentrate at all.

"Joker." She had the comm open in seconds. "What is going on with the ground team?"

"Uh, I don't know, Liara. We've been keeping radio silence." There was a pause. She waited, knowing the pilot was toying with her. "Is there something I should know about?"

"I just lost connection with Shepard's suit monitor. I was hoping you would have an explanation." Liara tried reestablishing the connection. She even diverted a small amount of power from the ship's drive to boost the signal. Nothing.

"Wait, does that mean she's dead? Because this time it isn't my fault."

Liara groaned and brought a hand to her forehead. "It means that I have lost the connection. If she were dead, the monitor would tell me that. The equipment has either been damaged or something is blocking the signal." She waited several moments.

"And… what should I do about it?"

"Joker, tell me what the Normandy scanners have picked up, now."

EDI's voice chimed on over the comm channel. "Large quantities of radiation are emanating from Shepard's last known location. I suspect this is the cause of interference."

Liara's pulse spiked. Radiation? As in a nuclear blast of radiation? That would have wiped out the equipment with Shepard's body instantaneously. It would account for the anomaly perfectly. She had to get down there. Had to see it. "EDI, forward me Shepard's last known coordinates."

"See, this is exactly why I played dumb," said Joker.

Liara moved away from the monitor and grabbed her pistol. "I'm going down there," she said. "Don't any of you try to stop me."

"And what do you want us to send you down in, an escape pod?" Joker asked.

"If you have to."

"Liara, your response is irrational. We have yet to perform a complete analysis of the situation. Any number of problems may have arisen that led to signal blockage from radiation."

"Do you have any idea what kind of suit monitor I put on her?" Liara asked. She holstered the pistol.

"The model you installed is highly advanced," said EDI. "It would take critical conditions to damage it in any way."

Joker sighed into the comm. "Thanks, EDI. You always know what to say."

Liara continued talking to EDI as she began searching the room for the rest of her gear. She paused, considering whether changing in to her light armor would waste too much time. "EDI, what were the parameters of Shepard's mission today?"

"Admiral Hackett asked her to reclaim a fuel depot on Cyone, under the command of Captain Lee Riley."

Liara frowned. A fuel depot. That meant radiation, which could explain the disappearance of Shepard's vitals. Then again, so would the destruction of her suit.

"Reclaimed? Were there enemy forces?" she asked as she quickly stripped out of her clothes, setting her pistol aside. If there was any chance of radiation, she would need to wear something more protective in order to go after Shepard.

"Yes. Reaper ground forces attacked the depot and threatened to overrun it."

"And who went with her?"

"Garrus Vakarian and Ashley Williams."

Just hearing the names made Liara feel a little better. She knew that Garrus never missed, and Ashley was a veritable juggernaut on the battlefield. Both would gladly risk their lives to protect Shepard. But even they wouldn't be immune to radiation, or a large explosion...

"Very well. EDI, ask Tali to meet me in the Shuttle Bay, and bring your new platform down as well. We're going on a rescue mission."

"We still haven't determined whether Commander Shepard requires rescuing..."

Liara stopped as she fastened the last buckle on her left boot, glaring up at the nearest camera. Finding out where all of them were had been one of her first actions aboard the Normandy. "Now, EDI."

"Affirmative," EDI said, and although her voice did not carry the same inflections as normal human speech, Liara knew that the AI had decided that arguing with her was pointless. Once she was properly dressed in her mission gear, she headed out the door, completely ignoring Glyph's attempt at a farewell. The elevator ride down to the Shuttle Bay was pure frustration, and she couldn't help fidgeting with her gloves as she waited.

Liara had spent the previous day and a half allocating resources to various parts of the Crucible project, and when Shepard had mentioned that she was going groundside, Liara hadn't really acknowledged her. She had barely responded to Shepard's farewell kiss on the cheek. Now, her bondmate was missing and possibly injured or worse. She should have paid more attention to the distracted, automatic 'I love yous' they exchanged before she left. She should have demanded to be taken along. Should have, should have...

. . .

The surface of the planet was overrun with Reaper troops. The foot soldiers followed Shepard ravenously. No matter what she threw at them or how fast she ran, they managed to tail her. Never mind Ashley or Garrus. They wanted Commander Shepard.

"Commander, what did you do to piss them off?" Ashley asked. They remained crouched behind a retaining wall. The crack of Garrus's sniper rifle firing went off, and the Turian rejoined them.

"You mean besides blow up a Reaper or two?" Shepard peeked out of cover and downed two approaching husks with her pistol.

"Shepard, you have to admit they're a little more aggressive toward you today." The turian ejected a heat sink from his rifle. A group of approaching cannibals roared and he lobbed a grenade over the barrier.

The grenade detonated and Shepard glanced over the wall again. More forces approached. "Isn't this a fuel depot?" she asked. They had one missile launcher lying between her and Ashley. She picked it up and checked the ammunition.

Ashley's eyes widened. "Bad idea, skipper."

"What? It will kill them and we can get back to the Normandy."

Garrus glanced over. "If we're not vaporized first." He lifted the barrel of his rifle over the barricade, aimed, and shot.

"Don't all our plans come with an inherent risk of that anyways?" Both still looked unconvinced. Shepard set down the launcher and brought up her omni tool. "Look, I'll aim the blast at these tanks." She opened the schematics to the depot. "There's enough distance between us that our shields should handle the detonation as long as we reroute power from the other systems in our suits."

Garrus readjusted his eyepiece. "Won't that kill the special suit monitor Liara had installed in yours?"

Shepard waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, I don't think she pays attention to it that closely." In truth, she feared Liara might kill her upon returning to the Normandy, but considering her options, it seemed a less cruel fate at the moment. "Come on. We'll be overrun if we don't do anything."

The other two exchanged a look. Finally, they both nodded. "Fine." Garrus put down his sniper rifle. "But I get to make the shot."

Shepard grinned. "Don't trust my aim, Vakarian?"

"I trust mine more is all," said Garrus. He hoisted up the missile launcher. "Whenever you are ready."

"Ash, help me out here." Shepard started on rerouting the power. Ashley opened her omni tool and began linking their suit systems. "Take the shot, Garrus."

The turian rose from behind the cover. He took aim and fired within a second. Shepard heard the faint pop and hiss of the missile firing, then the roars of the enemy hoard as it zoomed overhead. Shepard held her breath and boosted the power. Any second...

. . .

"That. Was. Awesome!"

Shepard, Ashley, and Garrus cheered as Cortez pulled the Kodiak up in a steep ascent. They were all high on adrenaline and their dramatic but successful liberation of the fuel station. Despite demolishing a good chunk of the area around the fuel tanks, the station had been built to withstand explosions, and the damage was minimal. The rest of the reserves were safe, the Reapers were all dead, and they hadn't lost a single soldier since her arrival. Captain Riley had been extremely grateful - sending Ash to give them ground extra ground support during their exit had probably saved her entire unit. Everyone had been impressed with the explosion.

"Did you see it go up? One shot! Boom!" Garrus lifted his arms in victory.

"Yeah, yeah, glad you can hit the broad side of a fuel tank, Vakarian," Shepard grumbled, but she was unable to hide her wide grin. "Real impressive."

"There was shrapnel everywhere," Ashley said cheerfully. "I don't envy whoever has to clean that up."

The shouts and cheers continued for another minute before Cortez turned around in his seat. "Commander, the radiation is interfering with my transmission signal. I can't hail the Normandy."

"How much longer to the Shuttle Bay?"

"Another minute and a half, but -"

"Then we'll be fine. We can wait another minute to tell everyone else about how we blew an entire squad of Reapers to pieces."

"You mean how I blew an entire squad of reapers to pieces," Garrus protested, mostly just to get a rise out of Shepard.

"It was my idea!"

"And we were the ones that made sure our suits held up," Ashley added.

Garrus's mandibles vibrated. "We'll see whose version of the story sticks when we get back to the Normandy."

"Commander, we're approaching the Shuttle Bay. Prepare for landing." Even though the landings were never bumpy when Cortez was flying the Kodiak, Shepard sat back in her seat. As soon as the shuttle was stable, she hopped out the side door, still energized from her victory. She couldn't wait to see the expression on Vega's face when he realized what he had missed. Tali would want to hear all about Garrus's perfect shot. Maybe Liara would even be up for a little post-victory celebration in her cabin...

Liara. The suit monitor. Oh shit.

. . .

As soon as the Kodiak doors slid open, Liara sprinted toward its occupants. One thought raced through her mind: Shepard. Shepard. It seemed to echo in time with her racing heart. She saw her lover standing there, unscathed, and she could have cried. She slung her arms around Shepard's neck and hoisted herself up, wrapping her legs around her as well. She did not care how foolish she looked. She needed to feel Shepard. "You idiot!" she cried.

Shepard stumbled back, arms moving to Liara's backside in an effort stabilize them. "Whoa, what happened?"

"She never watches the monitor, huh?" Garrus asked.

Liara buried her face into the commander's neck. It smelled of sweat and the residue of battle, but she did not care. She clung tighter. "You could have died." She kissed along the skin. "I could have lost you." Her lips traveled up Shepard's neck and down her jawbone until she found her mouth.

Instead of meeting her kiss, Shepard mumbled against her lips. "I thought that was a daily risk in our line of work."

"Shut up." Liara threaded her fingers through Shepard's hair and forced her to kiss her properly.

Shepard still managed to break away. "Liara, I'm okay." Another deep kiss. "Really."

"Then show me." She clung tighter to the N7 armor. She wanted Shepard out of it. She wanted to feel Shepard, needed the reassurance of her skin. Her fingers wandered to the clasp at Shepard's neck. The armor had to go.

"Right here? In front of the whole crew?"

That one word made her stop. The crew. Goddess, she had tackled Shepard in front of all of them. Who knew what they would think? It took perhaps three seconds for Liara to decide her course of action. She continued to undo the clasp and moved her mouth to Shepard's ear. "You had better take me somewhere more private, then." She felt Shepard tense underneath her and knew that she had won.

"Right. To my cabin, then." Shepard managed to walk over to the elevator. Liara only glanced up once to see most of the crew staring wide-eyed at them, though Ashley did give her a thumbs-up.

As the elevator doors slid shut, Liara heard Garrus mutter, "Why don't I get a welcome like that?"

The ride up to the elevator was pure torture, full of kisses and the occasional growl of frustration each time Liara encountered yet another obstacle to Shepard's bare flesh. She needed her bondmate - needed to take in her scent, feel her naked skin, to taste her everywhere. But with both of them in full mission gear, that was impossible. Not caring that they weren't in Shepard's cabin yet, Liara reluctantly climbed out of Shepard's arms so that she could get to work on the human's armor. Fortunately, she knew where all of the buckles and clasps were.

"Sweetheart, maybe we should -"

Liara silenced the Commander with a scorching kiss, her hands deftly removing the chestplate that restricted her access. She tossed it to the elevator floor, careless of where it landed, and then began work on Shepard's leg armor and boots, dropping to her knees to get them off as quickly as possible. She couldn't resist pausing for a split second to kiss the strip of warm skin just below the hem of Shepard's compression shirt.

"Um, Liara..."

Liara tossed aside one boot with a loud clunk, not caring that it hit the wall.

"The elevator..."

Shepard gasped as Liara finally exposed her legs to the open air, and shuddered as a warm mouth latched on to her thigh.

"We're here..."

"I don't care. Can't wait -" Her fingers moved to the other leg. She would not have bothered if the armor did not restrict her access between Shepard's legs. The rest of the armor came off with a few quick flicks to the clasps. She tore the rest of Shepard's clothes down and kissed the triangle of hair. Above her, Shepard groaned.

"What- what got into you?" Liara felt her lover's fingers trace over her crest. "Liara." She pressed her lips to Shepard's swelling clitoris. The taste of her was intoxicating. Liara did not know if she could ever get enough of Shepard. She sucked in. When Shepard's legs began to tremble, she pulled away. She rested her forehead against Shepard's pelvis. "Wha- Why'd you stop?" Shepard's voice was breathy and high.

Liara breathed in her scent and moaned. It would never be enough, not even in a thousand years. She dipped back down and sucked the bundle of nerves into her mouth. She flicked her tongue back and forth across it, loving the way Shepard groaned and gripped her head. She did not even stop the human from grinding against her mouth. She wanted to feel Shepard in every brutal way that night.

When Liara's tongue drifted lower, teasing the ring of muscle at her entrance and actually slipping inside of her, Shepard's hips began rocking erratically. Even though she knew she was making Liara's job more difficult, she couldn't seem to stop. Fortunately, her lover didn't seem to mind the shifting, or the awkward way she had to contort her neck in order to get the best angle. She was too focused on her goal - feeling Shepard, wet and quivering beneath her tongue and very much alive. And she wouldn't take a single moment of it for granted, even the parts that were ever so slightly uncomfortable. She did, however, grip the human's hips and attempt to hold her still.

"Shepard..." Liara pulled away for just a moment, the lower half of her face glistening in the bright, glaring light of the elevator as Shepard looked down at her. The Commander actually let out a whine, pushing her hips forward, seeking more of Liara's lips and tongue even though they were well out of reach.

"Don't... don't stop. Fuck. Liara..."

"Never do that again."

The guilt trip probably would have been more effective if Shepard hadn't been so aroused, but it worked, combined with her desperate need for more of Liara's mouth. "Never again," she agreed, and was instantly rewarded when Liara bent her head, twice as eager as she had been before.

Shepard bit her lip, her screams dissolving into low moans as Liara's tongue slid in and out of her entrance. Liara could barely breathe from the angle and the way Shepard rode her face, but it did not matter. She licked up to the sensitive bud once more, thrilled by the way Shepard whimpered and rocked forward, seeking her release. Liara did not make her wait and brought two fingers to her slickened entrance, pressing in deep. The whimpers turned into a groan as Shepard arched into her. Liara pressed her fingers in farther, searching for the correct spot. Shepard nearly doubled over when she hit it. She withdrew and pressed back in, keeping her lips sealed around her lover's clitoris. So close. "Come for me, love," she whispered against wet flesh before sucking even harder.

"I… I'm -" The rest of her words were lost. Liara felt her bondmate's insides flutter around her fingers as Shepard's climax overcame her. Liara clung to her, moaning while Shepard trembled. She eased the human down from her orgasm. When the trembling subsided to a few shivers, she eased her fingers out and placed a final kiss on Shepard's center. Her lover's hands found hers and pulled Liara up to her feet. They exchanged a few soft kisses before Shepard let her head slump against the elevator wall. "That was... Liara, I –"

She silenced the human with another kiss. "We're not anywhere close to being done, Shepard," she warned. The commander grinned, her eyes glinting with a new wave of desire as Liara pressed into her.

"Well, I hope not."

"I thought you might be dead," Liara murmured, reaching out to stroke Shepard's cheek. "When I saw your vital signs disappear..."

Shepard couldn't help feeling a little bit guilty at that, and she gently urged Liara out of the elevator, completely forgetting about the pieces of armor they had left behind. She didn't care enough to go and retrieve them. "Don't worry," she said as she opened the door to her cabin. "I'll make it up to you. Prove that I'm just fine."

"You'd better."

Although she was a little irritated that Shepard was dismissing her concerns, Liara was too grateful to care. Shepard was alive and near her, and she wouldn't take that for granted again. Instead, she made Shepard's walk into the bedroom as difficult as possible, clinging to her and pressing kisses to her damp neck as she ran her fingers through tangled red hair. She even managed to pin Shepard against a wall so that she could steal a long, deep kiss. She knew that Shepard could taste herself, and the thought almost made her drop to her knees again, but she decided to pull back and try to drag her Commander the last few feet to the bed. Shepard owed her, after all.

They pulled at the remaining pieces of armor until, finally, the last pieces of their clothes fell away and they met skin to skin. Liara moaned at the sensation of Shepard's body, warm and slick with sweat, pressed against hers. "Shepard, I need you," she said. The commander raised a leg in between her thighs. Liara groaned at the sudden pressure and rocked against the hard muscle.

"I know, Liara," she said.

The asari shuddered. It felt so good every time Shepard said her name. She did not know if it was the way her human voice glided through the name like no one had done before, the vowels twanged with a subtle accent. Perhaps it was the possessive tone with which she spoke it. Either way, it stirred the already burning coals within Liara.

"We're not going to make it to the bed," Liara panted, propping them both against the wall and reaching between Shepard's shaking legs. Her own balance was just as unsteady, and her breathing just as hard. Forcefully, she dragged one of Shepard's hands between her thighs, enjoying the way her lover's breath hitched as she felt the slickness there. "Together this time. Please."

Shepard realized that Liara wasn't just asking because she wanted this. She needed it. Needed the connection, needed to reaffirm their bond. "Goddess. You could have been dead. And I barely said one last I love you..." Liara let her forehead rest against the wall somewhere beside Shepard's cheek, feeling her bondmate's breath, her heartbeat, the wetness coating her fingers. She slipped inside without asking, nearly sobbing as Shepard did the same, curling forward in the way she knew Liara liked best. Even without the meld, it was as if they were acting with one body.

"Say it now," Shepard gasped as she ground the hard point of her clit against the heel of Liara's hand. Her own wrist burned as she struggled to find the best angle, wanting Liara to share everything she was experiencing, but she didn't care.

"I love you..." Liara's hips sought more of Shepard's hand. Her body angled forward and she groaned as Shepard's fingers moved deeper inside her. "I love you so much." Shepard's thumb slid into place against her clit and she cried out. "Goddess, yes. Right there."

Shepard shifted her hips down and Liara thrust harder. She did not remember the pulsing heat of Shepard around her fingers ever feeling so good. Even the commander's ragged breathing was amazing. She thrust deeper, searching for the spot that drove Shepard insane. The high-pitched cry her lover released told her she found it. "Oh God, Liara! Don't stop."

"I won't. I don't think I can." It was all she could do to remain standing. Her free hand moved to Shepard's shoulder, gripping tightly. "Shepard. I need to do it. I need all of you."

Even though she had not said 'meld' specifically, Shepard understood Liara's meaning. The desperation in her voice said it all. "Go on, Liara. Join with me."

The asari blinked and let the meld come over her. She reached her mind out to Shepard's. "Embrace eternity."

Shepard was ready for Liara's arousal, but she hadn't expected the intensity of her bondmate's emotions. Fear was mixed in with desire, and for a moment, Shepard felt guilty as she experienced Liara's desperate need to have her close, to feel her, to know that she was safe.

'I'm here, Liara. Right here.'

And then they forgot what 'I' meant as their thoughts mixed together.

There was regret, regret for all the things that would never happen if one or both of them fell before the end of the war - if there even was an end. Fear that love wouldn't be enough. But also a fierce joy, a ferocious protectiveness of this moment, where they were alive together and joined in the most intimate way possible.

Instead of being a distraction, the swirl of doubts and fears and love only seemed to heighten their physical responses. They were aware of their shared heartbeat, even if they weren't sure whose hands were where, and of their shared need, the need to surrender to each other and reaffirm that, at least for this moment, only they mattered.

They moved synchronously, hands fitting closer to their desired spot. Fingers reached out, searching where their fevered thoughts directed. Shepard tilted her head to the side, seeking out Liara's lips. They found one another and kissed. For a moment, neither could keep track of what belonged to whom – Shepard's tongue or Liara's, it did not matter, pressed forward urgently, begging for a deeper closeness. Teeth tugged at skin. Breathing hitched.

Shepard grasped Liara's hip and pulled her closer. The asari groaned. She couldn't help moving her own body to better accommodate Liara's motions. They focused less on their physical wantonness and more on the emotional mess their minds became. The desire. The frustration. The lack of time.

'Goddess, there will never be enough time.'

The thought broke through all the others, the edges tinged with a deep fear. Shepard tried to wrap Liara's thoughts in reassurance. 'Stay with me, love.' The plea seemed to take the edge off the immediate spike, but there was still a sense of sorrow. They drowned it out in need.

When they came, it was together, so completely entwined that there was no separating out their minds or bodies or hearts. Everything was in sync - the motion of their hips as they rode their shared aftershocks, the gasps of air, the wordless cries of release. Love swelled up inside of them and drowned out every other emotion.

They disentangled from each other gradually as they came down. It was impossible to sort out what belonged where all at once. Liara suddenly realized that even though her back was cold from being pressed against the wall, her naked shoulders were actually exposed to the open air, and she was experiencing sensations from Shepard's body. She sighed and pulled her fingers out of their snug home inside of Shepard, but kept her hand cupped protectively between her Commander's legs. Shepard seemed less willing to pull out of her, though, and Liara couldn't say she was disappointed.

'You're here.'

'Yes.'

'Just... just give me a moment to be thankful for that. You're here. You're alive.' Saying the words made Liara believe them a little more each time.

They held each other, neither saying a word for several long moments. Finally, Shepard groaned and pushed off the wall, pulling her fingers from Liara. "Let's lay down," she said. Liara nodded, still holding onto her. When Shepard tried to step toward the bed, Liara only clung tighter. She laughed and wrapped her arms around the asari.

"I am sorry," Liara said. The remnants of the meld faded quickly with the added motion. "I need this, though."

"It's fine." Shepard lifted her from the ground and started walking toward the bed. "I can work with this." They reached the bed, and Shepard eased Liara down before crawling next to her and draping a sheet over their cooling bodies. She looped an arm around Liara and pulled her close. "If it helps, I only destroyed the suit monitor to save my life."

Liara let out a small laugh that sounded more like a sob. She clung tighter to the commander. "Damn the suit monitor," she whispered. "You have a near death experience every day, and I waste our time standing in front of my monitors, oblivious to what's actually happening in this war."

"That's not true," said Shepard.

"It is true. I already lost you once. I don't want to throw away the time we have left. I need to tell you I love you, just in case... just in case..." Liara couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence.

Shepard was upset to see tears swimming in Liara's eyes, and reached out to stroke her cheek. "Liara, no matter what happens... I know you love me. Even if you never say it again, I'll always know. Every minute of every day."

This time, Liara's tears spilled unchecked. "Shepard..."

"And I love you back. I'll keep telling you every day that I can."

They held each other tight, and eventually, after several minutes, their breathing returned to normal. Shepard kissed the back of Liara's crest as she held her from behind, her breasts pressed against her bondmate's shoulder blades. "I'm assuming you want to come along on the next mission? Just to make sure everything's fine."

"The next several missions. No excuses, Commander. And when you get a chance, you will need to retrieve your armor from the elevator. I need to reinstall your vital reader for my own peace of mind."

Shepard laughed and squeezed Liara around the middle. "Of course. Anything the Shadow Broker needs."

"I will hold you to that promise, Shepard."

As the minutes ticked by, they settled further into a state of comfort. Their rampant emotions quieted. Shepard listened for the near silent, slow breaths Liara drew in, the ones that signified her lover had found sleep. Eventually that familiar, peaceful state came over her and Shepard relaxed her shoulders. It often troubled her how much Liara held her emotions in. She had hoped that reuniting on the Normandy would break down some of those barriers. Shepard suspected there would always be struggles such as this as long as she continued to fling herself into danger.

Beside her, Liara moaned and snuggled closer into Shepard's arms. The Commander smiled. As long as they had the moments like this to think back to, they would make it.