HEYY! So I know I haven't updated the 4th chapter of Romance in Italy but I had another Hibari/Gokudera idea after reading a story on fanfic and decided to write about it before I forget about it. Don't worry the 4th chapter of Romance in Italy would be up soon. This story is also an 1859 fanfic but I decided to play round a bit. So in this story Yamamoto is Gokudera's ex KYAAAAAA!

CHAPTER ONE

Gokudera POV-

We had been dating for four years and had know each other for more than a decade yet I was nothing more than a rag doll to him, he played with my feelings, I gave myself to him, he used me and dumped me and all he could say was that he never meant to hurt me, and couldn't bear to see the hurt and betrayal that would be on my face if he told me. What the hell? Did he expect that I would throw a fucking party?!

Thinking back on it now I feel like the world's greatest idiot, I should have seen it coming, he had been withdrawn but I overlooked it.

*FLASHBACK*

Two weeks ago

I had received a call from an unknown number i answered the call and the lady on the other end told me that we had to talk, after ignoring her for days, I finally snapped and decided to hear her out, so agreed to meet in one of the deli outside Namimori, she later introduced herself as Yamamoto's girlfriend and claimed that they had been dating for about two years, I didn't believe her. Yamamoto might be an idiot but he wasn't a cheat….. Or so I thought.

I refused to believe her and she said she had some proof and there it was; photos of her and my boyfriend on their dates, some with them in bed together, and one of the bastard smiling at her lovingly. I was furious, I mean who wouldn't be? I just found out that my boyfriend of four years had been cheating on me for the past two years, I was beyond traumatized, yet still in denial, I was still clinging to the little hope I had left.

After giving me some time to gather myself she told me all about their relationship, her name, how they met and a bunch of details I really didn't want to hear. She later warned me to stop pestering HER boyfriend, all I could so was stare at her while tears ran down my cheeks, I wondered why the bastard couldn't just break up with me if he no longer loved me, instead of leading me on, and making my believe In something that didn't exist for two years. As if she could read my thoughts she replied that Yamamoto didn't break up with me because he didn't want to see the pain in my eyes if he told me, that was the most meaningless, cruel and selfish thing I had ever heard, and so I called the bastard and asked him if it was true, his silence was all the answer I needed.

*FLASHBACK END*

I really don't know how I made it back to my place that afternoon, I was miserable. Something in me snapped that day, I locked myself in my house for two weeks trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and I found no faults, at least no major ones. I thought I would cry my eyes out but no tears came, it was like I my body had triggered some sort of defense mechanism against pain or something, I felt absolutely nothing, no pain, hurt, anger.. Nothing. After psycho-analyzing myself for two weeks I decided that I couldn't spend the rest of my life crying over the asshole, besides I didn't want to worry the tenth anymore, after the tenth heard about what happened he and some of the other guardian had been trying to cheer me up, of course none of them succeeded.

They thought I was heartbroken, depressed or probably suicidal while I on the other hand was trying to figure out what was wrong with me, why I couldn't feel anything, I tried watching movies, reading, doing anything to trigger some sort of emotion but nothing happened, nothing could make me smile, or cry. I was void of any and all emotion heck I couldn't even get aroused. Something was most definitely wrong with me, and after spending two weeks trying to make myself feel something I gave up.

I finally decided to go get some fresh air and probably move on with my life, I decided to go to the nearest store to buy some provisions when I saw a novel that caught my eye, I have always been into reading but not really romantic crap but this time, it was different I was curious as to what would be in the novel. It was titled "How to move on after a heartbreak" yes it sounded stupid but I bought it never the less, the instructions were easy and straight to the point and I had to admit it was exactly what I needed.

After I got back from shopping I decided to read the novel, apparently the author was from Namimori and had gone throw a messy breakup and decided to write a book about how he got over it and moved on and apparently he is now married with two kids. It sounded convincing enough.

Instruction 1: Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex:

You can't move on if you're still holding on to the past, you need to get rid of all items that remind you of your ex, you have to realize that you deserve better and that there is always someone out there who loves you and would treat you better than your ex did.

Before you can find that new person you need t get rid of everything that had even the slightest connection to your ex.

Well duh! Needless to say I had gotten rid of all Yamamoto's belongings which I still had, as well as all the things he bought me, I decided to get a new house after all Yamamoto was the one who suggested I lived here because he loved the.. Why am I thinking of that bastard? And with that I needed to see a realtor. I would have gone that day but I was tired and decided to go the next day, I decided to read the other instructions and they read.

Instruction 2: Cry over him/her:

You need closure but first you need to spill the last tears you would over cry over them, trust me you would feel better after it. You need to let go of all hope you have of you guys getting back together, you need to release him/her as well as yourself. Cry out every pain he/she ever caused you, cry out the hurt you felt when you discovered they were just using you, cry out your feeling. For some people junk food works, for me it was both, I cried out all the feelings I had left of him, ate my heart out and when I was done I felt relived.

WHAT THE HELL! Who wrote this fucking book, that bastard isn't worth my tears, even if I wanted to cry I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't cry, I couldn't smile, or couldn't feel anything, my face was expressionless I was void of all emotions. Seeing as I couldn't feel anything I decided to skip that instruction, after all the book didn't say the instructions must be done in the order they were written.

Instruction 3: Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on, Find comfort in your friend.

Realize that you are not alone, you can't handle everything on your own, find someone who cares about you, and wouldn't mind listening to your whine, for me it was my bestie Lisa, she was a yaoi otaku and was one of those ladies who had always wanted a gay best friend, she was so eager to cheer me up, she even decided to hook me up and set me in blind dates in return for some juicy gossip on how my dates went. Bottom like you need to find your own "LISA" a friend who cares about you and wouldn't let you get depressed and miserable.

SERIOUSLY! WHERE THE FUCK WOULD I FIND SUCH A PERSON! I wouldn't like to bother the tenth with all my blabbering, plus he doesn't seem like someone I can ask for advice on such things I mean, he had been in love with that Turf head's sister for over ten years and he still hadn't gotten anywhere yet even though she obviously likes him too. Lisa sounds like a crazy lady, and the only crazy lady I know who's a Yaoi otaku is… Haru? Well Haru is not so bad, she creative, she's an art enthusiast and has a good taste in classical music, she would make an ok "LISA". That settles it then, I'll attend the Family meeting tomorrow, talk to her and maybe she'll even accompany me to the realtors.

That night I laid in bed thinking about Yamamoto; our dates, the times we made love, the times he told me he loved me and how I was foolish enough to believe him. I couldn't help but remember when he went on a two months mission, when he came back he didn't seem like himself, he rarely touched me, and being the naïve idiot I am.. Or was, I thought it was just because of the mission but he didn't change, he was still a bit distant, and whenever I asked him what was wrong he would put on that silly smile of his and said something like "I'm just tired" or "You're just imagining it". How could I be so foolish and blind as not to see the signs.

Despite all that, all the memories, I still couldn't cry, my chest felt heavy and at some point felt like I was going to puke but still nothing happened, I couldn't even shed a tear. I felt broken and damaged beyond control, I guess I deserved this; I didn't deserve to be happy or to be loved, I didn't know why but something in my head kept telling me that.