Hisoka: Hello to everyone who decided to check out this fic, my advice? Don't bother; it's not very good, hard to follow, not well thought out…
Jenna: That's not why you don't want them to read it!
Hisoka: Weak plot, if any…
Jenna: You don't want them to read it because I put you in a d…
Hisoka: URASI!! *throws desk chair at Jenna*
Jenna: X.X
Hisoka: Just don't read it, please don't! The mental scarring is just not worth it!
Watari's Dream
Aka; Never Nap After Blowing Up the Lab
Aka; Tomorrow Never Dies Another Day, 'Cause Goldfinger is the Master of the Shadow Puppets.
Hisoka: She's never even seen a James Bond movie!
X.X
x.x
X.X
Watari Yutaka lay, head resting on a partially cleared table. The lab once again cleaned, lectures given, pay checks docked.
"I'll get you…" He mumbled in his sleep. "Just you wait, I'll get you Tatsumi…"
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"…this villain has been committing heinous crimes, but we have a plan!"
Watari was paying minimal attention to the young woman speaking to him as he adjusted the collar of his crisp white shirt and brushed an imaginary speck of lint off his dark suit.
"One of our agents will penetrate his secret island lair, make his way to the heart of the villain's strong hold and take out the super computer that the villain is using to direct his crime ring."
"That sounds good," Watari said, looking up. "And who are you going to get to do that?"
"You, agent 0042 ½."
"What!" Watari squacked, "You want me to…"
"Agent 003 will accompany you."
A small owl roughly the size of a peach flew into the room and hovered over Watari's head.
The young woman reached out and punched a button on Watari's chair. "Good luck, agent 0042 ½!"
Suddenly the floor beneath Watari's chair fell away and Watari looked down. "Wait! You didn't tell me we were on an airplai~~~~~~~~~~~~~~n!!!"
The chair went through several minutes of free fall and Watari dug his fingers deep into the arm rests. There was a muffled click, and suddenly the chair jerked up as a parachute opened overhead to slow his decent.
Watari looked down to see that he was falling towards a small isolated island, covered with lush green vegetation, palm trees and tulips.
The chair landed softly in the center of a large multi-coloured flower. Watari got gracefully to his feet as the petals of the flower began to curl inwards. Watari stepped quickly and calmly out of the tightening circle. He turned back in time to see a last glimpse of the chair as the petals surrounded it completely. Suddenly they contracted viciously, and there was a grinding, popping, cracking noise as the chair was pulverized.
Watari raised a brow in speculation. "So this villain's first defence is carnivorous flora. Nice touch."
A bundle of feathers thunked into the back of his head.
"Oh, there you are agent 003. Do you know where we're supposed to go?"
003 flew a complicated pattern in the air, which in the complex method of communication that she had been taught, translated into 'follow me!'
"You want to do the Charleston with a ladybug?"
003 changed tactics, flew up and nipped Watari on the nose, then flew off into the trees.
"Wait for me!" Watari cried as he hurried after the little bird, staggering slightly. Shortly, he found himself at the front entrance of a looming fortress.
Stepping right up to the door Watari looked around. "What? No guards?"
"Halt! Who goes there?"
Watari turned fluidly to face the owner of the voice, to find a strange looking man with stripes under his eyes and slightly pointed ears. The man was wearing a red coat that blended into the red brick of the fortress, and a tall fuzzy black hat with a chin band.
Watari looked at the man for several long moments. "You escaped from Buckingham Palace, didn't you?"
The man glared at him. "You'd better tell me who goes before I get all excited and turn into the afghan from hell."
"Okay, so you escaped form Bedlam then." Watari observed, taking a few careful steps backwards.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!"
Watari turned around again to see the newest speaker, to find another man with unusual violet coloured eyes sitting calmly on the ground behind him. This man also wore a red coat hanging open over a black trench coat, and he seemed to be playing with a length of string.
"What are you doing?" Watari asked.
"Playing cat's cradle." The man held up his hands to display the string woven into a pattern between his fingers. "It's a little boring here, wanna play?"
"Sure!"
003 chose that moment to fly into the side of Watari's head.
Watari shook his head and frowned at the little bird who was hooting loudly. Giving a disappointed sigh he turned back to the violet eyed man. "Sorry, I can't. I gotta go inside."
The violet eyed man looked crestfallen. "Nobody ever wants to play with me…" He whined pitifully.
"That's because you're a moron, you moron!"
Watari turned his head to see that pointy ears had been watching their exchange.
"And you can't go inside," he told Watari.
"Why not?" Watari asked.
Pointy ears held up a clipboard. "'Cause you're not on the guest list."
Watari looked back over his shoulder at the other man who was now untangling his string. "There's a guest list?"
The man shrugged. "I guess so, I've never looked."
Watari moved closer to pointy ears. "Can I see the guest list?"
Pointy ears frowned, then scowled, then frowned some more. "I suppose…" He said grudgingly, handing it over.
Watari took the clipboard and looked at it for a moment, then reached into his long mane of blonde hair and pulled out a pen. With a flourish, he wrote his name at the bottom of the list and handed it back. "I'm on the guest list."
Before pointy ears could voice a protest, Watari had brushed past him and through the front door.
"Say hi to 'Soka for me!" The violet eyed man called out as the door swung shut behind him.
The pointy-eared man stared slack-jawed at the closing door. In a rare moment of insight, he realized they were in trouble. Scowling, he turned to the other man whose attention had returned to his string.
"This is all your fault!"
Watari blinked at the opulent entrance hall he found himself in. There were sparkling chandeliers high above, and a long richly decorated corridor leading further into the fortress.
"Hello!" He called out.
"What the Hell do you want?" His echo called back.
"Is there someone there?" another voice called out, and a well dressed chicken floated into the hallway. He squawked in surprise and clutched his chest at seeing Watari standing inside the door. "Oh my, this is unexpected. But at least you are in formal dress. Mr. Tatsumi insists everyone inside the fortress be properly attired at all times. That's why those two out there are out there," He explained, gesturing at the door. "If you'll come with me I'll take you to the front parlour and inform Mr. Tatsumi of your arrival."
Watari nodded and followed the well dressed chicken to a room off the entrance way. There were several leather chairs positioned around the room and a large fireplace against one wall.
"Someone will be with you shortly," The chicken informed him, and bowing in mid air, took his leave.
Watari leaned against the mantle, striking a debonair pose. The tapping of approaching footsteps alerted him, and he turned as a petite blonde wearing a long, sleek, revealing evening gown sashayed into the room.
The blonde came to a stop and ran both hands down the slinky fabric as if smoothing the material, and then he looked up.
Brilliant emerald eyes glared daggers at our hero.
"I hope you realize Watari that I aman empath, and I am picking up on this, and as soon as I get my hands on you, you are going to die!"
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Watari asked.
The glare fell away and a welcoming smile spread across the delicate features. "My name is Hisoka. Mr. Tatsumi sent me to see to your comfort and show you to your room, Mr…?" The boy trailed off expectantly.
"Watari, Yutaka Watari."
"Well, Mr. Watari, if you'll follow me…" The boy trailed off, turning and sending a coy look over his shoulder, headed out of the room, his hips swaying.
Taking a few long strides across the room, Watari caught hold of a finely boned wrist and pulled the youth back so that they stood face to face, only a few inches apart. "When will I be meeting Mr. Tatsumi?"
"Soon," Hisoka said breathlessly. "He's preparing for your arrival even as we speak."
"That's good." Watari grinned, letting his hand trail up a bare arm. "I'm a very impatient man."
Green eyes gazed up at him through thick lashes. "Mr. Watari…"
"Yutaka," Watari insisted.
"Yutaka then." Hisoka slipped deftly out of Watari's grasp, and quickly stepped away. Moving into the hallway he glanced back to make sure that Watari was following.
Watari followed the slender figure to a set of large double doors. Gripping each handle, Hisoka threw them wide and gestured inside.
"This will be your room while you are here. Dinner will be served shortly, I will come to escort you to the dinning room." Hisoka cocked his head and gave another warm smile. "In the meantime, if there's anything you need, please feel free to call for me."
"Anything?" Watari asked, a brow raised in question.
"Anything." Hisoka sent him another coy look before turning away and sashaying back down the hallway.
Watari stepped back into the room, closing the door behind him. He may as well make himself presentable for dinner.
A quick, but through search of the room revealed a large walk in closet, a three piece bathroom, two hidden microphones and a partridge in a pear tree. Making good use of the bath, Watari stripped and ran the hot water, he turned on the shower and stepped under the spray. There was an alarmed hooting and Watari reached back into his hair, extracting 003. He placed her on the edge of the tub, which she promptly slipped off of and fell to the floor. She shook herself off and glared at the tall blonde through the shower door before flying off.
Blissfully unaware of the tiny owls glare, Watari shampooed and rinsed his hair, enjoying the hot water running over him. He closed his eyes and stuck his face under the spray. Pulling back he turned off the water and pushed back the shower door, groping blindly for a towel. He used the cloth to dry his face, then opened his eyes.
Directly in front of him was an older, slightly over-weight man in a dark suit, sporting a frilly yellow apron which Watari had just dried his face on.
"Housekeeping!" the man said in a rough, yet cheerful voice.
Watari straightened up, only a quirked brow revealing his surprise. "What can I do for you?" he asked, keeping his body positioned behind the shower door.
The man blinked. "My name's Kanoe, and I'm here to collect any dirty linens." The man moved one hand behind his back, and in the reflection of the mirror, Watari could see a little camera resting in his palm.
"What's that behind your back?" Watari asked, his amber eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"It's… Um, my pace maker!" Kanoe flustered and quickly brought his hand around and dropped the camera down his shirt. "I need it to live!" He looked around as if seeking an escape route. "Um, well, if you have no linens, I'll just come back later then!" With that, the man rushed out of the bathroom, and a moment later Watari heard the slam of the bedroom doors.
Some time later saw him refreshed and redressed, standing in front of the mirror brushing his hair into golden waves. He was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Mr. Watari?"
Watari smirked at his reflection in the mirror. "It's open."
The doors were pushed wide and Hisoka entered the room. He had changed as well, into another evening gown, just as revealing as the first. A deep green that matched his eyes and flowed around him as he moved. Turning from the mirror, Watari made his way over to the boy, and gently grasping one of his hands brought it to his lips. "I believe I asked you to call me Yutaka."
Hisoka coloured and lowered his eyes demurely. "I apologize, I forgot."
"That's quite alright, I'm sure you have… other things on your mind."
Green eyes peered up at him through thick lashes, and a smirk turned up his lips. "I believe dinner is ready Mr….. Yutaka, we should be going, Mr. Tatsumi hates to be kept waiting." Hisoka pulled his hand from Watari's. "Shall we?"
Hisoka led him back to the opulent entry way, then down another lavishly decorated corridor to a massive set of double doors that reached to the top the 12 foot ceiling. Moving to the side of the doors, Hisoka pushed a hidden button and the doors swung wide of their own accord to reveal a cavernous banquet hall.
Watari moved to a seat placed before an elegant place setting. He scanned the table around him, it was the only place setting. Looking towards the end of the table, he squinted, trying to make out anything in the distance.
"Yutaka?"
Watari looked at Hisoka, who had moved to stand by his side.
"How long is it?"
"How long is what?"
Watari reached into his luxurious hair, pulled out a marble, and threw it down the table. It bounced a few times, making a sharp pang each time it struck the wood, then continued rolling, the sound fading off as the marble rolled out of earshot.
Hisoka picked up a pair of binoculars and looked through them towards the end of the table. After a minute he winced. "Damn, Mr. Tatsumi's gonna be pissed. It landed in his soup!" Hisoka put the binoculars down quickly and moved back towards the door.
"Wait! You're not eating with us?" Watari asked as the youth reached the doorway.
Hisoka paused and turned back momentarily. "I'm afraid not, I do not… get along well with the help."
"I insist." Watari gestured towards one of the other seats.
A mildly panicked look crossed the boy's face before he schooled it back into neutrality. "No Yutaka, I'm afraid I really can't…"
"Dinner!" Two feminine voices called out in tandem.
The panicked look returned and Hisoka bolted out of the room, the doors swinging shut behind him.
Two bubbly, bouncing blonde girls in frilly maid uniforms entered the dining room, each carrying a covered tray. The bouncier of the two made her way over to Watari, while the other made her way off into the distance.
"Hi!" the girl greeted with a huge smile. "I'm Yuma, and that…" she gestured after the other girl while balancing the tray precariously on one arm. "…is Saya."
Watari leaned forward and graced the girl with a winning smile. "It's nice to meet you, but I was under the impression I was dining with Mr. Tatsumi this evening."
"Oh, you are," she assured him. "I'm sure he's already seated by now."
Watari picked up the binoculars and peered towards the other end of the table. "There is someone down there." Setting down the binoculars he got to his feet and deftly took the tray from the young woman's arms. "I believe I would like to meet my host."
Yuma looked concerned. "But…"
Watari again flashed her the winning smile and stepped around her, heading towards the other end of the room. Ten minutes later, the end of the table not yet in sight, Watari placed the tray on the table and stretched his arms above his head. About to pick up the tray and continue his trudge across the wide expanse of room, he noticed a golf cart parked inconspicuously against the wall. With a good deal of relief, Watari took the tray, which after the first five minutes of walking had seemed very heavy, and placed it on the passenger seat, before climbing behind the wheel and stepping on the gas.
The little cart raced along side the table and Watari grinned at the speed. Another 15 minutes passed before the end of the table and the dark figure seated there came into view.
Without touching the brake, Watari spun the steering wheel hard over left and the little cart flipped and rolled over and over again before coming to a dead stop, parked neatly against the wall with less that an inch of space to spare. Watari landed on his feet a few steps away from his host, and held out his arm, holding his hand palm up, just in time to catch his tray and set it on the table in perfect condition.
"Mr. Watari, I assume?"
"At your service." Watari made a low bow to his host, then looked up into the most startlingly vivid sapphire eyes he could ever have imagined. There was something darkly mysterious about the trim man in the perfectly pressed suit. "Mr. Tatsumi?"
Tatsumi nodded in acknowledgement. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance. I have been looking forward to meeting you." Tatsumi gestured to a vacant seat.
Watari shivered as the cool, smooth voice washed over him. As he took his seat he wondered if this man was the villain he was searching for, and how best to discover the man beneath the incredibly sexy exterior.
Tatsumi got to his feet and bowed low to Watari, then straightened. "I welcome you to my residence, I hope everything has been to your…" He leaned in close to Watari, his lips only inches away from his ear. "…liking."
Watari swallowed heavily, his heart rate accelerating. "Every thing has been quite satisfactory," he whispered in a husky voice.
"I'm glad," Tatsumi said, his voice silky smooth and satin soft, his right hand coming to rest on Watari's hip. "Now, shall we have dinner, or would you prefer to move on to… other matters."
Watari sat perfectly still, considering. Food, or this man, whipped cream, feathers, leather straps, riding crops…
Tatsumi reached out his left hand, without turning his head and lifted the lid from Watari's tray. The crab legs piled on his plate caught Watari's complete attention.
"Dinner first, then on to… business."
"As you wish," Tatsumi smirked and regained his seat, crossing his long legs as he watched Watari eat.
Watari was able to ignore this for several long moments before the intense scrutiny began to make him uncomfortable. Putting down his 18th crab leg, he leaned back in his chair and returned Tatsumi's gaze.
"I realize that my presence here must be a great imposition to you."
Tatsumi nodded agreeably. "It is. If I may be so bold as to ask you what brought you here, Mr. Watari?"
Watari let his lips lift in a charming grin. "My employers sent me here to check out the plumbing."
Tatsumi raised a doubtful brow. "Surely you are much too attractive to be a common plumber."
Watari tossed his shimmering silky blonde hair back over his shoulder. "I am hardly common. I will need you to show me the lower levels of your estate, the pipes, the water cut off…"
In a fluid motion, Tatsumi got to his feet and held out a hand to Watari. "I would be honoured to give you a tour of my home."
Watari accepted the hand and allowed himself to be pulled up. He was led through a small door he had not noticed at the back of the dinning room and down a long flight of stairs. The lighting in the lower levels was less than it had been on the upper floor, and the shadows flickered in the soft seductive light. They moved through several lush corridors before Tatsumi led them into a sparsely furnished room. Along one wall there seemed to be a large complex computer system. Other machinery were neatly stored at various points in the room.
Tatsumi glanced back at him and all Watari's sharply honed instincts came to life screaming 'Incredibly hot super villain here, danger!'
"I know you," Watari accused. "You are the puppet master!"
"No," said Tatsumi, smirking. "I am the master of the shadow puppets!" With that, he raised his hand and several large shadowy figures loomed over them holding dark weapons that looked dangerous and menacing. Watari turned in a circle taking them all in wide-eyed before turning back to Tatsumi.
"That is so cool! Do it again!"
003 hooted disapprovingly and flew off.
The shadow figures surged forward and Watari found himself surrounded by darkness. He could feel hands made of shadows on him, pulling and pushing at him. He lashed out with heretofore undiscovered martial arts skills, but his blows passed through the shadows without causing any damage.
The shadows withdrew and Watari found himself chained to the wall. The shadows pulled back farther and separated to show Tatsumi standing in front of him.
"I'm sorry to treat you so discourteously, but I'm afraid you chose a bad day to check on the pipes."
"What are you planning to do to me?" Watari asked, slightly out of breath from battling Tatsumi's shadows.
Tatsumi moved so close to Watari that their bodies were pressed together. "Normally I would take advantage of the situation to play with you," he muttered seductively by Watari's ear. "But I'm afraid I have a schedule to keep, and I will not deviate from it." Tatsumi slipped his hand along Watari's jaw and forced him to meet his eyes. "Not even for such a delightful distraction."
Watari shivered as Tatsumi's cool lips ghosted over his, then frowned as Tatsumi pulled back.
Damn! Just as it was getting good!
Tatsumi rolled over a sleek, shiny, silver machine and positioned it about ten feet in front of Watari.
"What's that?" Watari breathed, impressed.
"It's my laser ray gun." Tatsumi took his time adjusting the aim.
"Where did you get it?"
"Mail order." Tatsumi flicked a switch and a ruby red beam of light shot out of the machine and focused on the wall right between Watari's knees. Ever so slowly, the beam of light began to creep up the wall, leaving a smoking black burn line in it's wake.
Watari squirmed and Tatsumi smirked. Leaving Watari hanging, the Master of the Shadow Puppets made his way across the room to the large, complex computer system.
"What are you doing?" Watari yelled across the room, momentarily forgetting about the threat between his legs. "What is your master plan?"
Slowly Tatsumi turned back to look at him. "Every day I watch people shirk their work. Slackers, lazy nincompoops, procrastinators, all striving to do as little as possible, wasting time and money. People taking whole days off to do nothing productive but loaf around. I will put an end to that! At midnight, my computer will take over. Every computerized calendar will have the weekends removed. Every new calendar printed will have the same. Every day will be a work day, and people will learn to work to their maximum potential!"
Watari's mouth had fallen open in horror. "You're going to eliminate weekends?"
Tatsumi chuckled evilly. "Yes."
"You horrible, evil, sexy monster!"
The light flashed off Tatsumi's glasses as he adjusted them. Watari drew in a sharp breath as Tatsumi turned the full force of his evil and sexy villain gaze on him. The effect was only barely marred by the knocking on the door.
"Enter!" Tatsumi called.
The door opened and Hisoka swept inside and gracefully made his way to Tatsumi's side. "Those two loafers are bickering in the garden again."
Tatsumi sighed in irritation. "Did you turn the fire hose on them?"
"Yes." Hisoka scowled. "It didn't help much. Your intervention is required."
"Very well, I'll deal with it." Tatsumi turned and strode briskly out of the room.
As soon as the door had closed behind him, Hisoka turned towards Watari, not giving any indication that he had noticed the laser slowly approaching his neither region. "It's nice to see you again, Yutaka." Hisoka bowed low. "How are you enjoying your visit?"
"It's been quite enlightening," Watari said in a husky voice, trying to nonchalantly inch himself farther up the wall. "But I think I could use a little assistance."
Hisoka laughed softly. "So I've been told."
Watari looked at him curiously, and watched as Hisoka moved a fold of the shimmering evening gown he wore. 003 flew out and over to Watari, where she started hooting disapprovingly in his face. "You can understand her?" Watari asked, surprised.
"Of course!" Hisoka stepped forward, pulling a key out of his bodice. "I'm a double agent."
003 flew back to perch on Hisoka's shoulder as the youth hit the off button on the ray gun. He moved forward, pressing full length against Watari as he reached for the chains holding Watari's arms above his head.
"Damned tall people!" Hisoka cursed.
Watari rubbed his wrists when the chains loosened. "So, wait. If you're a double agent, why didn't you just stop Tatsumi's evil plan?"
"I'm not a computer expert," Hisoka told him. "I managed to find Tatsumi's location and infiltrate his organization, but I can't undo his programming."
"Ahh!" Watari moved swiftly over to the large complex computer and studied it for a moment, then reached out and pressed three buttons. "All done. I deleted the programming."
SELF-DESTRUCT ACTIVATED, T-15 SECONDS AND COUNTING!
"What the hell did you do!" Hisoka yelled at him. "Now we're all going to die!"
14!
The dark-haired man with violet coloured eyes burst into the room, his red coat and the black trench coat under it flapping madly.
13!
"'Soka!" The violet eyed man swept Hisoka into his arms, "I'll save you! I would never let anything happen to you! Ever!" and tore out of the room.
12!
Watari turned to 003, who shrugged her wings at him, and flew out of the room after the pair.
11!
Watari ran out of the room and sped up the stairs, through the vast dining room…
10!
9!
8!
"Hold on damnit! This is a really big dining room!" Watari yelled in desperation.
OH, OKAY. The count down ceased, and muzak began to play.
Watari covered his ears. "No! No! Go back to the count down!"
MAKE UP YOUR BLOODY MIND! 7!
Watari tore out of the dining room and into the entryway…
6!
And skidded to a halt. Tatsumi stood statue-like in front of the doors, his arms folded across his chest. Shadows quivered around the man, and his piercing gaze pinned Watari in place. "What did you do, Mr. Watari?
5!
Watari fidgeted under the glare and shuffled his feet. "I didn't do it! It was an accident!"
4!
"Oh?" Tatsumi stepped forward 'til he was nearly nose to nose with Watari. "Do you really think I would believe that, agent 0042 ½?
3!
Watari closed his eyes as he felt Tatsumi's breath against his lips, it smelled slightly spicy and cool…
2!
"Wake up, you fool, before I dock your pay!"
1!
Watari leaned forward…
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Watari opened his eyes to see Tatsumi stumbling back from him, blushing wildly.
"Mr. W-Watari! That's hardly appropriate conduct for the work place!"
Watari flushed, he had just kissed Tatsumi! And he hadn't even been fully awake to enjoy it! He turned his head to see morning light streaming through the windows of his lab. "Sorry Tatsumi, I fell asleep…"
"Have you been here all night?" Tatsumi asked, looking mildly concerned. "If you have been working too hard, I could arrange for you to have a little time off. It wouldn't do if you worked yourself to a point where you couldn't concentrate properly."
Watari smiled brightly at him. "No, no, I'm fine… I just stayed a little too late, that's all." Watari got out of his chair and stretched his stiff back. "I suppose I should get to work."
Tatsumi nodded approvingly.
"By the way, what brought you to my lab?"
A hint of a smile turned up the corner of Tatsumi's lips. "Mr. Kurosaki informed me that you were asleep," he said as he headed for the door. "He's waiting for you in the hallway with a baseball bat."
Tatsumi paused at the door and looked back over his shoulder. "I find, however, that I rather enjoy being the horrible, evil, sexy villain."
There was complete silence as the door closed behind him…
THE END
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