Deidara leaned against the walls of the stuffy and dark hideout, scowling deeply at the irritating girl currently giving Tobi a run for his place as the Most Annoying Person in or Associated with Akatsuki. She had plump pink lips great for fire jutsus and now she just kept talking away with her annoying high voice that made him want to walk over there and rip her throat out.
He couldn't believe this short little girl with her strange emerald eyes and far too conspicuous light hair was Leader-sama's associate in the Land of Grass. She barely reached the bottom of his chin even with her heels. Strike one, she was too loud, and big mouths meant big secrets would be leaked, and Akatuski in danger, especially when she loves to be a tease. Apparently, in the Land of Grass emotional training was not in their Academy's curriculum. Strike two, she smiled like she was constantly on crack, which Deidara wouldn't put past the strange girl. Strike three, she was from, of all places, the Land of Grass. Every shinobi in the world knew almost all the ninjas from the wimpy little country were as pathetic as their country was just like the name. Grass. As if in the world, they can't name themselves something that makes people think 'oh, shinobi' instead of 'what the fuck is that?'
As the saying went, three strikes and you're out. Just judging by her face she was out already the second she took off her heat. Her platinum blond hair was tied in a high ponytail with a metal flower between her thumb and index finger and fingering the pattern of the petals.
The Deiya-or-something-like-that-girl laughed, loud and obnoxious and echoing through the insides of the cave. "Hah!" she crowed, turning Deidara's headache into a migraine, "I won again, Kisame-san!" Another crack-induced smile. "Sorry!"
Deidara watched Kisame's face contort and twist into something that made him look even more inhuman as the taller, blue-skinned man's beady eyes roamed across the cards lying neatly on the small table. In any other situation, he would have taken the opportunity to laugh at the man and mock him. But Deidara was not in any mood to laugh, instead scowling deeply at the sound of the girl's voice.
Kisama angrily leaped to his feet. "I don't have time for your childish games," he snapped, obviously aggravated at having lost to the little girl sitting across from him for the millionth time. "I have much more-"
"Aw, Kisame-san, no need to act like a kid when you lose." Deiya smiled winningly up at him. "I'm even being nice! You haven't had to pay me since-" -she paused and did some math in her head- "-three games ago. And the last thing you paid me was pathetic...your headband? What, do I look like I need something as old as that?"
Kisame's glare deepened. The Deiya girl shrugged in defeat. "Oh, fine, go ahead and pout. Anyone else up for a game?" She looked eagerly over at Deidara and Tobi.
"Oh!" Tobi leaped to his feet, waving his arms like a windmill. "I'd love to play, Deiya-chan! I like to play-"
"You aren't playing anything, un," Deidara snapped, yanking his idiot partner back down.
"Sempai!"
"Tobi!" He snapped in his partner's face. "You have nothing to lose but that ridiculous mask and yourself. So unless you're going to cut off an arm and offer it, sit you ass down!"
Tobi's pout made Deiya laugh out loud, earning another death glare from Deidara who tried to block her out by mindlessly toying with his clay. "You are so dull Deidara. Do you ever even talk nicely to anybody?"
Deidara glared at her one more time before putting down his clay spider. "Lips are for eating and drinking and making art. Not for annoying the shit out of other people. It would be a miracle when you finally get that fact!"
"Oh really? That's it? Why your life must be dry as dust!" Deiya smiled at him seductively and made her way over to Tobi.
What she did next was unbelievable. She lifted his mask a fraction of a degree and leaned in to peck him on the lips softly. Then she even went over to Kisame and managed to skim his bottom lip softly despite their humongous height difference. She walked over to Zetsu and successfully planed a kiss on the white part's lips and added a smirk as the white face gave off a slight blush while the black face's eye narrowed ever so slightly, a sight that he actually likes this new girl. Deiya walked over, tipped up Pain's face for her right index finger, and pressed one firm kiss on his lips. Everyone surprised that Pain has not cut off her head yet with a bold move. Instead, he just stayed still as a statue while her tongue traced over his lips and cut off the kiss with an arrogant smirk.
"Ne, Deidara-kun," She cooed, and he clenched one hand together to try and control his anger, but Konan chuckling in the corner and giving Deiya a thumbs up was not helping. "Lips are better for kissing than making clay toys."
Deiya walked over to Itachi in his corner who glared at her but made no motion to stop her as she gave him a peck on his right cheek. He grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving as she pulled away.
"That was not a kiss, Deiya-chan. That was a dry-as-dust peck I would expect to get from an elderly woman during holiday visit." He said as he tightened his grip on her wrist and a glint appeared in his red eyes.
Well, making out with an ice cube Uchiha could be half as bad I suppose? "Well, then do you mind to show me what a real kiss would be like, Itachi-san?" Deiya smiled deviously and was even more happy as she heard Deidara growl from the couch.
With one vigorous tug, Deiya ended up on Itachi's lap as their mouths met with force and her hands on his back. She squeaked mutely when she felt Itachi's tongue come out and lick seductively at her bottom lip. She really didn't mind when she gave him control; he was a hot Uchiha. But she was a tad bit surprised when his skillful tongue wrestled hers. From her knowledge and experience, Uchihas were cold-blooded men with sticks up their asses…how on earth did he learn to kiss to well? As Itachi's tongue coaxed hers to tangle with his, he began drawing Deiya's tongue into his mouth. However, before his tongue left, she gave a quick suck to it and delved her tongue into Itachi's awaiting mouth. She tentatively mapped out the hot cavern with her tongue. She really wanted to keep this thing going and felt no need to rush it. Of course, until Itachi suddenly broke apart their sweet kiss and threw her towards Zetsu.
Deiya growled at Deidara who apparently threw one of his clay birds at her head in resentment but quickly as that growl came, it disappeared into a smirk. "Ah, Deidara-san, you really didn't need to feel so angry."
"You guys want to screw, get a room!" He sat down and gave Itachi a death glare before returning to yelling at Deiya. Itachi, who was only slightly pissed that he ended their kiss, waved it off. "No one wants to see you two sucking each other's faces off."
Deiya gave him a pout and appeared sitting next to him on the couch while playing with a clay spider, tossing it up in the air and catching it. Konan gave her a nervous look.
"Deiya, if that spider explodes, you won't have hands left." She warned.
"Aw, I doubt that Deidara-san would make it explode when he's right next to me, eh?" She looked across at the angry Deidara and gave him a babyish smile that drove him crazy. "I expect all you to value your lives as well, don't you, Deidara-kun?"
Deidara clenched his free hand as she put down the spider and gave him a defiant look that made his blood boil violently. Damn this bitch. Fuck, Leader-sama would punish me if I hurt her. If only she was a quiet as Konan! Who does she think she is? He took her small body in one hand and forced his lips onto hers into a bruising kiss that must have hurt her since his own lips were sore. This kiss was not for fun or pleasure; it was merely a punishment. But then Deiya began asking for more as her tongue traced the outline of his lips softly and seductively, withdrawing the moment she feels his mouth opening slightly. Deidara's tongue dipped into her open mouth and teased her until he felt her nails dig into the back of his neck. Heh, annoying bitch is a good kisser. Deidara wrapped his tongue around Deiya's massaging the back of her tongue with the tip of his. He pushed her down of the couch so he was hovering over her and her cloak open reveling her black tube top dress that hugged her curves.
Then the kiss broke apart with an annoyed Itachi standing over them, and Deidara rubbing the back of his head.
"What the fuck was that?" Deidara yelled at the Uchiha.
"Rephrasing what you said a minute ago. You guys want to screw, get a room! No one wants to see the details. Especially that you are such a bad kisser."
"Uchiha! How dare you!" Deidara scowled at the sudden backfire but stopped when he hear Deiya laugh.
"Ne, Itachi-san, there's always plenty of chances to teach him." Deiya said.
Deidara turned him head around and smirked at the bold girl. Hm, maybe having her here wouldn't be such a bad thing…