DOMINO'S

By Becky

This is an AU story based on the strip club scene from Lean Mean Thirteen, by Janet Evanovich, with direct quotes from High Five and Hard Eight. The characters all belong to Janet. I'm just having fun with them.

Enormous thanks to BJ . . . incredibly patient editor extraordinaire. So much to learn, so little time. lol

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I'd been to Domino's once before. Lula and I made an apprehension there last spring. It was a typical titty bar with a raised stage and pole dancers. I was told it had a back room for lap dances, but Lula and I didn't get back there. Our man was at the bar, stuffing money into G-strings.

Ranger had changed into black jeans and a long-sleeved, collared black shirt that he wore out to hide his gun We were heading out to Domino's to follow-up on a lead we had to find out what the hell had happened to Dickie Orr, my ex-husband. To my misfortune, Dickie disappeared the same day I had a rip-roaring confrontation with him at his law office. It was all Ranger's fault. I'd never have gone near Dickie, if Ranger hadn't called in one of his IOU's and asked me to plant a bug on him. Now Ranger was helping me, and rightly so, track down Victor Gorvich, one of Dickie's law partners.

"Do you have money for the girls?" I asked him.

"I try not to hand money out at strip bars. It's like feeding stray cats. Once you feed them, they never go away."

"Yes, but I'll be there to protect you this time."

Ranger held my jacket for me. "I usually rely on Tank, but tonight the job is yours."

We took the elevator to the garage, and Ranger chose a black Explorer over one of his private cars. His cell phone chirped, and he glanced down at the display and flipped it open. "Yo." Then silence. "Be there in ten." Everything was ten minutes from RangeMan. Ranger had placed his security company in a good location. If an alarm went off anywhere in Trenton, RangeMan was there in ten minutes or less.

"I have to go, Babe," he said, tossing me the keys to the Explorer while he headed toward his perfectly polished Porsche turbo.

"What? What do you mean you have to go?" I yelled. "What about Rufus?"

"He'll keep 'til tomorrow," Ranger replied as he angled into the Porsche. And he was gone, without a sound from the precision-tuned German engine.

I stood there open-mouthed. Dumbfounded. Then, scrounged through my shoulder bag and found my phone. He answered on the second ring.

"Joe, I need you."

"Yeah? Are you wearing your red lace nightie?"

"No! And I don't have time for phone games. I have to be at Domino's in 45 minutes."

"Domino's, the strip joint?"

"Yes. We got a lead that Gorvich is meeting Rufus Caine, and we were hoping he'd lead us to Dickie. But Ranger got a call, and he had to bail on me. Can you meet me there?"

"You're serious?" Joe asked, laughter creeping into his voice.

"Serious as a heart attack. You going to meet me there or what? I can always just go by myself." We both knew that was an idle threat. No way would I ever walk into that den of drunken testosterone alone. I knew Morelli was laughing on the other end, and if he kept it up, I just might strut on into that titty bar. That'd show him!

"Domino's? Well damn, how could I pass up an opportunity like that? It beats the hell out of lying here all by my lonesome imagining you in that nightie of yours. Give me time to line up a replacement here. I'll get there as soon as I can," Joe said. "Where are you?"

"The RangeMan garage. I'll meet you outside the gate." I disconnected before Joe had a chance to say anything about my location.

I hate waiting. Life is short and waiting is a waste. I sat on the cement wall that surrounded the garage, trying to think of some useful way to pass the time. I called Mary Lou for the latest Burg scoop.

"Steph!" Caller ID still freaks me out a little bit when someone blurts out my name before I have a chance to say anything. "You should've done it twelve years ago."

"Done what?"

"Offed Dickie! I'd've done it right there on the dining room table . . . him and the skank. Always keep a baseball bat in the coat closet Steph; you never know when you might need it."

"I didn't off him."

"Well, of course you didn't, but I always wanted you to. The bastard!"

I saw Joe's SUV stopped at the light a block away. "Gotta go. Joe's here."

"Say 'hi' for me. What're you guys doing tonight?" Mary Lou wanted to know and I didn't want to tell her, but Mary Lou could sniff out one of my fibs a mile away.

"Going to Domino's." I said with a sigh, waiting for Mary Lou's onslaught of questions.

"Domino's the strip joint? No! I don't believe it. Omigod, you're going to a strip club. Omigod, I've never seen a G-string. Do you think they'll be wearing G-strings? I want details, lots of details. You have to tell me everything." Mary Lou was on a roll now and I couldn't get a word in edgewise. "Wooeee," Mary Lou hooted. ''There'll be a hot time on Slater Street tonight. Lucky for you, I just heard that Mabel Rupp lost her hearing aid in church last Sunday. Rumor has it Reverend Beiber's sermon was keeping her awake so she took it out and hasn't seen it since."

Mabel Rupp was Joe's next door neighbor on the right, and their bedrooms abutted. When Mabel got her hearing aid six months ago, I'd made him move his bed to the other wall. "It's not like that, Mary Lou." But with any luck it might be. Maybe Joe would get the whole night off and I wouldn't have to go back to RangeMan. "We're working. Following up on a lead about Dickie."

"Uh huh, sure." Mary Lou laughed. "And I've got a bridge for sale in Brooklyn."

Joe pulled up, and I yanked open the door of his SUV. "That was quick," I said as I climbed in and greeted Joe with a kiss on his cheek. "Mary Lou, I'll call you tomorrow." I snapped the phone closed and stuck it back in my purse.

"I called Pino's and lucked out. Gazzara was there and we made a deal. He's taking my shift, and you're watching his kids the next three Saturday nights." Joe turned and gave me his million dollar grin and a slow once over. "Do you have money for the girls?" he asked me.

"Money for what?"

"The Domino girls. Cupcake, dressed like that, they're going to be all over you like white on rice." He turned and gave me another once over. "Butch . . . but I could work with it."

"You think I look like a Lesbian?" I looked down at myself. Black pants, black V –neck T-shirt with RangeMan over my left breast. "I was working! This is my uniform!" Joe's eyes were on the road, but I could see his grin widening. "Okay, okay. Stop by my place and I'll change my shirt. But put on your Kojak light or we're going to miss Rufus.

Joe made it to my parking lot in record time. I made a mad dash to my apartment, stormed through the living room, hollered hello to Rex, shucked off my boots and ripped off my top. I pushed my clothes aside and reached for my 'distraction collection' in the back of the closet. I grabbed a red, clingy, sparkly thing with a low cowl neck that made the most of my assets. No time for a switch to the wonder bra. I stuffed my feet into a pair of black FMPs and ran down the stairs at breakneck speed, hoping it wouldn't be my neck that got broken in these heels.

"Haul ass!" I ordered Joe, slamming the passenger door behind me. "If we get there in ten minutes, we'll still be ahead of Rufus."

Joe gave me a quick body scan and smiled. "That's more like it." Our eyes held for a beat, and he floored it out of my lot.

On weekends, Domino's rocked. It was filled to capacity with bachelor parties and couples out for fun. On a Monday night, it was half empty, and there was no problem getting a table. Joe steered us to a dark corner where he could put his back to the wall. Most of the men were at the bar that surrounded the dance platform. A bunch of sad regulars and some out-of-town businessmen who'd straggled in from the hotels on Route One. Tonight, I was the only woman.

The music was loud. Disco. The two women onstage were in four-inch stilettos and dental floss. They looked like they wouldn't mind getting out of the shoes

A waitress stopped by, all smiley face. "Hey handsome," she said to Joe"What'll it be?"

"Corona." Joe said with a smile. He looked to me for my order and I nodded. "Two of them," he told her, his smile widening.

"That was very friendly," I said, trying hard not to narrow my eyes and grind my teeth.

"You know, you're kind of cute when you're jealous."

"I am not jealous." But that was another fib and Joe grinned at me.

We didn't want to make an entrance and have Gorvich spot us, so we'd arrived early. The disadvantage to this soon became apparent. Joe was a bimbo magnet.

The dancers finished their set, and one immediately strolled over to our table and straddled Joe

"Want a private party?" she asked.

"Get your ass off my man," I whispered through clenched teeth. I watched her sashay away and turned my attention back to Joe.

"How often do you come hereJoe?" I asked.

"Not nearly as much since I left vice. The last time I was here was Timmy O'Malley's bachelor party before Thanksgiving," Joe broke into a smile. "Remember?"

Oh boy. I thought about that night and got warm in all the right places. I think my eyes glazed over. "Yeah, I remember. You woke me in the middle of the night."

"You didn't seem to mind."

I hadn't minded at all.

Our drinks were delivered and a new dancer popped up in front of Joe. "Hey Sweetie," she said. "How's it going?" And before Joe had a chance to answer, she had her huge breasts in his face and her leg over his lap.

"That's it," I said, jumping out of my chair so fast it crashed to the floor. Heads turned to check out the noise. "What am I chopped liver? Don't you see me sitting there?" I hissed. "What part of 'taken' don't you ladies understand?"

Monster Boobs swung her leg off Joe and looked me up and down. "Pretty," she purred. "How about a threesome?" Joe grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down onto his lap before I could spring on her.

"Slow down Tiger," Joe whispered in my ear. "We're supposed to be watching the show, not putting one on."

I blew out a sigh. "Okay, but I'm staying right here. So don't think you're going to be getting a lap dance from one of those floozies."

"Floozies?" I could feel his body shaking with laughter. "Nope, no floozies. Just my girl." He pulled me to him for a light kiss.

We turned our attention back to the stage. Hmphh. That didn't look so hard. I could do that. I started swaying my hips to the music and my bottom followed along. Joe's hand strayed north from my waist. I leaned back into him and felt him harden beneath me.

"Steph, you're making this really hard." He said. I felt his warm breath on my neck.

"Ymmm. Hard." I squiggled a bit. "Very hard."

"Hard to pay attention to who's coming and going."

"Maybe I should stop." But, all those right places were tingling now.

"For now," Joe murmured. That sounded promising, I thought.

Rufus rolled in at five minutes to ten. He took a seat at a table by the bar and ordered a drink. One of the girls approached him and was allowed to do her thing. Guess the room in the back was closed on Monday, and the action came out front.

Joe and I watched her gyrate and bounce and rub against Rufus

The rhythmic beat of the music was infectious and, next thing, my hips were gyrating and my ass rubbed down low and slow on Joe. I was really getting the hang of this now and Joe was going to get a doozie of a lap dance. Those floozies had nothing on me!

At ten after ten, the big blond muscle guy with the stapled nuts came into the bar and sat across from Rufus. He said something to the dancer, and she abruptly got up and left. Rufus called for the check and finished his drink. He paid his bill and left with the muscle guy.

I turned and wrapped my arms around Joe's neck, my breasts pressed high on his chest. "Tell me you don't have to go back tonight."

"I don't have to go back tonight," he said, his voice soft and whiskey-smooth. "But, what about Rufus?"

"He'll keep 'til tomorrow."