I don't often watch sneak peeks or the promos for new episodes… I did however watch the ones for Watershed. I don't actually believe that Caskett will break up in the finale; I have faith in Andrew Marlowe and his muse, and of course in Rick and Kate, and their promise of always. But my muse kinda ran away from me and this is the result. It'll be a small multi-chapter fic. It does start sad and angsty but it'll have a happy ending.

The story does contain spoilers from the promos and Molly Quinn's recent interview.

The chapter isn't beta-ed so all mistakes are mine.

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

We navigate blindly throughout the winding course of our lives; we make our decisions and choices as best we can. We might not always make the right decision to begin with; but what makes us human is the capacity to admit our mistakes and to try again.

Richard Castle sat in front of his laptop in the quiet, darkened study. The golden glow of the desk lamp filtered across the room, chasing away the shadows. It was late, his eyes burned and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. The words didn't find him.

He hadn't been able to sleep since she'd gone. He'd thought writing would help; he had accomplished some of his best work with an unsettled heart. But not this time, not when his muse he left him behind.

His eyes wandered gladly from the computer screen to the cityscape cast out beyond the glass. The evening's rain hadn't seized. It blotted against the windowpane and bounced off the skyscrapers. Rick reclined in his chair, stretching his arms above his head. He conceded that wasn't going to get anything done tonight. His mind was elsewhere, occupied with regret, and certainly not in the realms of creativity.

A soft bleeping emanating from the laptop brought his gaze back to the desk. The little invitation box popped open over his blank page. His eyes traced over the sentence and he momentarily considered taking the offer. He missed her. He wanted to know that she was okay. Even in the depths of his hurt knowing that she was happy and safe still mattered to him.

But the pain within was still raw and his pride won out. With a low sigh, he stubbornly reached out with an index finger to decline the chat. He put his computer to sleep before standing up and pacing over to the window. New York reflected and glittered before him, shining with promise, bathed in a fluid light.

Dreams were born in this city. And he'd dreamed a lot while staring down at this spectacular view. And he'd made a lot of them come true. He'd been surrounded by fame, fortune, and success for almost as long as he could remember. There wasn't much the best-selling author couldn't claim.

And yet she'd slipped through his fingers.

He'd let her go. He still couldn't believe she was no longer a constant presence in his everyday life. Kate Beckett had chosen to take the job in DC. They'd fought long and hard, and he guessed she'd won.

Only she hadn't won, his heart recognized that much. She'd cried as she voiced her decision. She had wanted to make things work between them. She'd taken his hands in her own, telling him that they could make this work. She reminded him that they had been through so much more; they'd faced bigger adversities and lived to see another day. Kate had believed that they could make this work; that a long distance relationship could be possible if they both worked at it.

But he'd disagreed, letting his hurt and disappointment rule his own decision. He was mad that she hadn't told about the job offer and the interview to begin with. He had trouble understanding why he, and they, weren't enough for her. He'd thought she was happy and content with their life here.

In truth he'd wanted her to choose him. He'd loved her and stood by her pretty much from the moment she'd come into his life. He'd put her first, always, and he had wanted her to do the same this time. This time he'd wanted her to choose him over her career. And he'd been crushed when she hadn't.

He hadn't wanted her leave. Watching her leave their life behind broke him.

But he'd let her go because that was what she wanted. He'd always believed that she was extraordinary, a force to be reckoned with, and destined for greatness. He couldn't be the one who stood in the way of that.

"Dad," Alexis's voice stirred him from the view outside. She traipsed softly in the room, coming to stand at her father's side. She looked beautiful in a sea blue dress, and coming home past midnight after going out on a date. "You're still up?"

"I couldn't sleep," Rick explained; his bed offered little solace without her lying beside him. "I thought I'd do some writing."

His daughter looked at him, concern written all over her pretty features. "Get much done?"

Rick shook his head, not needing to vocalize his answer.

"Have you talked her?" Even though over the past few months had put a strain on their relationship it was still pretty obvious to the wise Alexis who was responsible for keeping her father up at night and preventing him from writing.

"No," he answered honestly. He had driven Kate to the airport over a month ago and they hadn't spoken since. It wasn't necessarily for lack of tying on Kate's part, she'd called him several times, but he hadn't found the strength to answer. She'd sent a handful of texts, letting him know how she was doing, and he'd answered some of them. Words usually came easier to him in the form of writing he supposed, especially when hurt feelings were at stake.

"It might make you feel better…," She hated to see him like this. Her father had been so happy with Kate; possibly happier than he'd ever been. But Alexis did understand Kate's need to chase her new-found opportunity and discover an untapped potential. Alexis could more than relate to that. What she didn't understand is how two people who loved each other so much could throw it all away.

"Want to do something together tomorrow night?" she suggested then. "We can order in, watch some movies…."

Rick smiled, spending time with his little girl always made him feel better. "That'd be nice." Just like old times; he'd missed that. He was glad the relationship between him and his daughter was beginning to get back on track.

"Good, then it's a date," Alexis returned his smile before she reached up to hug him.

He squeezed her shoulder gently after she whispered a 'I love you, dad' into his shirt and he replied in kind. Alexis was all grown up, and exploring her independence. And that had been hard for him to see and accept. But he was trying to give her the space she needed, trying to accept that she no longer needed protecting every moment of the day.

Alexis had come back to stay for a while, to repair their own bond that was somewhat shattered since the kidnapping. Having her back home, even if it was temporary, before she disappeared to travel the world, offered a great comfort. Knowing that he and his child were attempting to mend their relationship and become close again meant so much.

Alexis broke from the tender moment, "I'm going to bed. You should try to get some rest too."

"I will," he promised her quietly before she walked away and up the stairs.

"Dad?" Alexis asked softly, turning back to face him and not quite making it out of the den.

"Yes, sweetheart."

Curiosity burned through her and after a beat the words tumbled out. "Why didn't you ask her to stay?"

The question that came out of his daughter's mouth was one that Rick had asked himself over and over every day. It was a question he couldn't find the answer to; not for himself, let alone anyone else. He should have been able to make her stay.

Kate had asked him where he saw their relationship going. They'd been together for a year; they'd known each other, and been partners for five. Kate had wanted assurance and maybe a more stable form of commitment; although she hadn't said as much.

His mother had told him quite plainly that if he didn't want Kate to go, he should have put a ring on her finger.

In truth, Rick could see himself marrying Kate. He'd envisioned it since he'd realized he was in love with her. Kate was the kind of woman he wanted to promise forever too. He knew he'd always love her.

But the fact remained that he'd already been married twice. He'd gone into both of those commitments too quickly. He hadn't wanted to rush into things with Kate, for fear of repeating those mistakes.

"It's complicated…."

"It shouldn't be complicated if you're in love," Alexis replied in a gentle tone. She was still young and a romantic at heart. "You always told me to follow my heart and do what makes me happy." That was a value her father instilled in her at an early age and one she intended to hold on to. "She makes you happy."

Rick didn't know how to reply to that and Alexis didn't say anything further; she offered a tiny smile before she left the room and disappeared upstairs.

Alone again, he was left to ponder over Alexis's words of idyllic wisdom. He drew a shallow breath before flicking off the lamp and retiring from the study. He moved into the bedroom, the light illuminating in his large and empty room. He closed the drapes and changed into his bedclothes.

Before climbing into bed he started about the space. Kate's books and a few of her other belongings still lay on surfaces next to her side of the bed. Her things were still nestled in her drawer. He should clear them away and send them on but he still needs those little reminders of her. They offer a source of comfort.

Slowly he slipped between the covers and reached across the unoccupied space beside him for one of Kate's pillows. He couldn't bring himself to wash away her fragrance from the pillowcase just yet. There was still a faint hint of cherries on the satin fabric. He held it close to his chest, staring up at the stark ceiling and willing sleep to come.

The shrill ringing stirred Rick from a fitful sleep mere hours later. With a low grunt he lifted his heavy eyelids and pushed against the sheets. His hand crept its way blindly against the wood of his nightstand. He reached for his phone, wanting nothing more than to silence the offending noise.

His fingers curled around the cell and his blurry vision didn't recognize the number. At this time in the morning he guessed it had something to do with criminal activity. In his experience it always did.

"Hello?" he answered gruffly, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Mr. Castle?"

Rick frowned; he didn't recognize the female voice on the other end of the line. "Speaking," he confirmed, sitting up straighter among the covers.

"Mr. Castle, I'm calling from Providence Hospital in Washington DC."

An icy sensation stabbed at Rick's heart. Something had happened to Kate. Worry and urgency filled him as he listened to the nurse.

He slipped out of bed in a flash. He tried to process what the nurse was saying while already planning to jump on the first available flight to DC. His heart and his protective instinct overruled his hurt; if Kate needed him he would be there for her.

To be continued…

Thank you for your time.