Happiness is fleeting.
Bliss sparkles like scintillating fireworks.
It vanishes into the darkness a second after.
Striking yet ephemeral.
Leaving only a whirlpool of dust and mist behind.
"I thought I told you to stop taking opium!"
"I can't help it! Do you think I wanna get addicted to this stuff? Do you even have any ideas why I need this? To relieve all the stress you've been giving me aru!"
Leon sat silently at his desk. The incessant bickering lingered in his ears.
He ignored the rants. The spiteful words they flung at each other every day and night.
He picked up his pencil and flipped open his assignment book. The journal title was- "The Happiest Moment of My Life".
"You know what, this is your fault everything is so screwed up."
"How is it my fault? You're never home to begin with!"
"Excuse me, don't you forget who's the one working so hard for this family! And you? Do you only know how to cheat on me with that goddamn ex-boyfriend of yours?!"
"You're the one to speak! Tell me who was it again that slept with my sister two months ago?"
CRASH!
Leon flinched slightly and began to write.
The happiest moment of my life is when I was small. We had a wonderful family. Daddy and Mummy never fought with each other. They doted on me a lot.
The boy ceased writing and frowned.
"I told you it was an accident!"
"An accident? Tell me about it aru! You've never cherished this home. You have no right to accuse me of infidelity. You're the one who started this first!"
"And that doesn't mean you could just go crawling back to your ex! What is this? Revenge of some kind?"
When I was little, Daddy and Mummy loved each other very much. And they loved me more. We always had dinner together. They would buy me toys and bring me to the park every day. We always spent time eating, shopping and watching TV together.
"I said we didn't do anything! We were merely out for lunch!"
"As if I'm going to believe that. You two kissed! And probably fucked behind my back!"
SLAP!
"How dare you say this when I caught you in bed with Sakura!"
"Your goddamn sister seduced me first! Anyone would make mistakes. And I already apologised! Why are you doing this to me now?"
On holidays, they would always take me to beautiful places for trips. We always went back to Mummy's homeland at Chinese New Year. At Christmas, we always spent it in many different countries. Once, we went to Korea. I met a friend called Yong Soo there! But we have never seen each other since.
"Apologies do nothing! You're the one who brings us to this. You're going to regret it!"
"Why don't you just say you've never wanted to marry me in the first place? I'm so damn tired of this bullshit!"
"If I didn't have Jia Long back then, I would never have married a bastard like you aru!"
The lead broke.
A straggling tear trickled down the pallid cheek. Leon wiped it off with his sleeve. He searched his pencil case and pulled out a new pencil.
He started writing again but his hand trembled deliriously. All the words turned into scribbles, some blurred by drops of tears cascading down his face.
When I was little, I had a very pleasant home. It was warm and comfortable. It made me happy. Daddy and Mummy would always tuck me to bed at night and tell me bedtime stories. They would always whisper how precious I was to them. But they don't do this anymore. Now, all they do is curse at each other. Daddy likes going out with other girls. Mummy likes taking opium because she thinks Daddy doesn't love her anymore. And they both despise me. They think I am an eyesore and a burden because I keep them together even though they want to split up.
"That's it! I've had enough! I'm leaving this hellish place!"
"Do as you please, you ungrateful bitch!"
Leon blanched. Releasing the pencil in his right hand, the boy sprang up from his chair and bolted out of his room. He plodded downstairs and cried, "Mummy!"
The Chinese woman stiffened at the door.
"Mummy! Please don't leave…" the ten-year-old pleaded and hugged his mother's waist.
"Long…" Chun Yan sighed. Her face was pale, eyes swollen and marked by dark circles. Tentatively, she bent down to stroke her son's hair. "Goodbye, my little angel. I can't stay here anymore. Your father is tearing me apart."
"Please, please, don't leave me!"
The woman clenched her fists and scooted away from the little boy.
"No!" Leon yelped and tried to hold onto his mother. His father held him back.
Chun Yan trotted out of the house and slammed the door, leaving everything behind her.
"Mummy!"
Arthur could only stare in agony. He dragged his son away from the door and hugged him tightly despite his protests. A pang of remorse stirred in his heart as he watched his wife disappear into far distance.
When I was little, the three of us lived together.
I think it was also the happiest moment of my life.
Leon blinked hollowly at the ceiling.
28 days 10 hours.
It had almost been a month since his mother evaded this home; this home she had so blatantly described as suffocating and horrendous.
14 days 5 hours.
It had been two weeks since his father plunged into depression and wallowed in self-accusation.
7 days 3 hours.
It had been a week since his mother insisted on a divorce which his father had instantly agreed on.
And now, they were fighting over his custody.
"Say, Leon would like to stay with Daddy, right?"
"No, Long, say you want to be with Mummy more!"
The boy didn't answer. He only wished for a complete family. He didn't want to follow either side because that would mean this family was shattered. It could never be mended.
He remembered the days when his parents were head over heels in love with each other. His father was a respectable British gentleman. His mother was a young lady from China. They had had a beautiful home together. There had been no argument; no beatings; no drugs; no adultery or betrayal.
There were days the boy smiled all the time.
The court decided to hand his custody over to Arthur because he was financially capable of rising the kid while Chun Yan, having been a regimented housewife for ten years, was unemployed.
The woman was devastated. She filed an appeal but the attempt was futile.
"Long, don't worry. Mummy will visit you from time to time aru. Be a good boy for Daddy, okay?" Chun Yan smiled and ruffled her son's hair.
Leon nodded. He could weep no more.
"Arthur, take good care of him," Chun Yan muttered, not even bothering to look her former husband in the eyes.
"You don't even have to say that. I will offer him the best." The blond snorted.
Chun Yan grunted and walked away.
Although she had promised to visit Leon frequently, the boy hardly saw her again.
The house got more spacious. Leon didn't like it at all.
After his mother's departure, his father never returned to his normal self. The once approachable gentleman was now grouchy all the time.
A couple of times, Leon caught his father coming home drunk and dishevelled. When the man indulged in liquor, he always ended up in emotional breakdown. The pressure he received at his office only aggravated the situation. The man would constantly whine about the separation and the penitence he felt after letting his wife go. It didn't help that sometimes Leon stood in his way.
"Daddy…please don't drink anymore…" the boy murmured and fidgeted with his hands.
Arthur glimpsed the boy and snorted, guzzling down another bottle of wine.
"Daddy…" Leon frowned and aimed for the bottle with his small hands. "It's not healthy to-"
SMASH!
The boy leapt. The glass bottle shattered into pieces. The blond laughed and blinked at his son, his eyes unfocused and dull.
"What's it now, Leon? Daddy is trying to relax. Why don't you go and do your homework?" Arthur smiled.
"I've already finished all the assignments…" Leon reported.
"Diligent as always, aren't you. Good boy." The blond patted the small head. "Do your Daddy a favour. Go into the kitchen and get me some wine."
"No, you shouldn't drink anymore." Leon refused promptly, "Drinking is bad."
"You don't talk back to me, okay? Are you a good boy? Go and get me some goddamn wine!"
"No! I know Daddy is sad but there must be another way to make you feel better," the boy persisted, his eyes brimming with tears.
"Now, now, my boy, you understand nothing. GO AND GET THE WINE!"
"No!"
SMACK!
Leon collapsed to the floor.
"Gosh, I'm sorry. So sorry." Arthur rushed to help the kid up and hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Leon. I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't leave Daddy, okay? You're all I've left…"
The boy nodded and stifled a whimper.
"Mummy is really cruel. She left us. She went off with another man. I did something wrong…I said I was sorry but she didn't forgive me…She left with another guy." Arthur cried, "It breaks Daddy's heart, you know?"
"I miss Mummy…" Leon whispered.
"Yea…I miss her too."
"Did you…say you want to make Daddy feel better?" Arthur asked. His mind went blank. The liquor gradually took effects on his nerves. The man felt giddy and somehow…aroused. That pair of amber orbs reminded him nothing but Chun Yan. How sinister.
"Y-Yes? Daddy?" Leon tilted his head and glanced at his father.
"Ah!" The boy hissed. A large hand groped his bottom. He stared at his lightheaded father, who proceeded to secure his other hand around his tiny waist.
"I know a way you can make me feel better…" The grin got wider. "Would you do it?"
"Yes, yes, I would!" Leon replied almost immediately.
"Let's go back to Daddy's bedroom first." Arthur smiled. He scooped up his son and wobbled upstairs.
"Dad…? What are we-" His body flopped down on the fluffy mattress.
"Hush."
He puckered his lips and complied. Shutting the door, the blond climbed onto the bed and smiled.
Leon gasped.
The lips tasted bitter. Arthur deepened the kiss and clasped the boy's wiggling wrists above his head.
When he finally withdrew from the thunderstruck boy, he smiled again.
"You...look so much like her."
Leon frowned. He knew something had gone astray but he couldn't put a finger on it.
"Sh…Daddy won't hurt you, I promise."
Arthur chuckled and ripped open the boy's shirt. A moan escaped Leon's lips as the other's mouth latched onto a globe of his flesh. "S-St-" He wanted to ask Arthur to stop but then he remembered that he had agreed to make his father feel better.
If only this could make him happy again, maybe he could give it a shot.
Click.
The lights went off.
In faint consciousness, Leon felt his father's hands slip into his pants and slowly crawl their way to his shuddering thighs.