Title: How to Save a Life (songfic)
Rating: T
Characters: Lilly (17), Oliver (17)
Author's Note: Hey guys! Me again! (You'll be seeing that a lot in the next few months, lol) Okay, this was requested by somebody, just to tell you. And major kudos goes to Sammy, my sis, for helpin me understand the song better. Love you guys! Enjoy!
"Oliver, wait! Talk to me!" Lilly cried out to Oliver, who was walking away, back turned, getting farther and farther away with every step.
They had been dating ever since they were 14, and now, at 17, Lilly still couldn't figure out why Oliver had basically ruined his life.
"What?" Oliver asked hoarsely.
"Just…talk to me…you know…like we used to…before…" She couldn't finish. She didn't need to; they both knew what she meant to say. Oliver turned away. He couldn't look at her. She took his face in her hand and turned it so he was facing her yet again. She smiled that sweet "Lilly smile" which, of course made him smile too.
"I'm sorry Lilly. I can't help it." He said softly.
"I know, Oliver. I just wish I could have done more." She looked down.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
"Lilly…" Oliver stared at her with a strange look. He didn't seem completely focused. She looked up at him, trying to remember what had happened to make him this way.
"You wouldn't stop!" Lilly shouted. Her temper was rising. "I didn't want anything to do with it! But I had to help you..." She looked him right in the eyes. "I wanted you to stop, Oliver. I really, really wanted everything to be okay again. I hate this." Her voice got low again. "And…Oliver…I'm scared for you…" She couldn't hold his gaze for much longer. She was beginning to wonder whether or not this was her fault.
Was it me? Lilly thought. I guess I could have done something more for him. I could have…saved him…
"Lilly…" Oliver said again. "There is NOTHING wrong with me! You keep trying to "fix" things, but in reality, there is nothing there to fix!" He shouted.
"Reality? What do you know about reality?" Lilly shouted back. "You live in a world where nothing is real! Tell me Oliver: am I real? Is this real to you?"
Oliver looked at her. She's right. He thought. This is because of me… He stepped back and looked at Lilly.
"Oliver…" Her voice was quieter now. Why? Was the only question she could ask herself. Why didn't she just leave? If it was so difficult to take, why couldn't she just back out and leave it all behind. But no, she couldn't do that to Oliver. She loved him. But then, why didn't she tell someone, or take him somewhere to get help? Why didn't she do something, instead of letting him live in denial? So much for putting him first…
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Lilly's POV
What did I do to him? I can't believe what's happening. I stroked his face tenderly. I could have saved him. I just needed to try harder, that's all. He looked at me. What happened to us? We were so close all those years ago. It seems like it's been centuries… I've lost him. He's gone and there is nothing I can do to bring him back… there were too many fights, too many complications that got in the way… of us…
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
Oh, Oliver… We could have worked together…we could have made it better…we could have helped you… I would have done anything, if you would have only let me…I know we could have worked through it all… but now…It's just too late…I wish I could have done something to help, you Oliver…I love you…
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
"Oliver…" Lilly began. "You have to believe me. We have to help you. There is something seriously wrong with you, Ollie." She tries using his favorite pet name. But it didn't work. She needed a different approach. I'm not going to just give in. He needs me, even if he won't admit to it. Lilly thought. Please, Oliver, listen to me. She pleaded silently.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
"Oliver, listen to me. You really need to get help. Listen to me Oliver!" Lilly was getting frustrated. She needed to get through to him, but Oliver just wasn't cooperating. He was looking the other way, seemingly interested in his jacket's zipper. "Oliver!" Lilly shouted. He finally looked up.
"What?" He said.
"Oliver, please listen!" Lilly pleaded again. "You keep trying to deny what's all around you. You can't see it, but everyone else can. I know it's hurting you, so please, please, let me help you." She took his arms and held them out, creating a smaller space between them. "I've been trying to tell you all along. If you would have listened from the start, none of this would have ever happened…" He looked away again. "Please, Oliver…" Please, listen to me! She begged silently. I need you to understand the severity of this situation! OLIVER! She was now screaming inside her head, pleading, begging, with Oliver, trying to get him to listen.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
"Lilly, STOP IT!" Oliver shouted in her face. She looked at him with such a stricken look. He was scaring her. "Lilly, there is nothing wrong with me, okay? So just SHUT UP!"
"Oliver, please calm down." Lilly asked him timidly. "You have a choice! It doesn't have to end this way! I mean, yes, you could keep torturing yourself, but that's gonna catch up with you eventually, Ollie. And the end really isn't that pretty." She had his attention now. "Or, you could do what I've been asking you all along: You could stop all of this! You can end it! Come on, Ollie. You know the outcome will be a lot better."
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
"For me? Or for you?" He asked, accusation in his tone.
"I just wanna help you, Ollie." She said, putting her arm tenderly on his, only to have it forcefully pushed away.
"I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know what to think, or what to say. I don't even know what to feel. I'm just, so numb."
"It's okay, Oliver. I know. I just…I want you to feel…whole again." She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but despair. She could tell he desperately needed her. She was always there for him; caring for him, loving him, giving him everything she had.
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
But now, she thought, is it really worth it? I mean, he doesn't even see to care. Should I bother? Does this…us...me…Do I mean anything at all to him? Does it even matter that any trace of happiness between us has completely disintegrated…and because of him? Tears begin to fill her eyes. He doesn't seem to notice. Does he even care about me? Does he love me? Am I worth it?
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
YAY! Done! I loved that. Please review guys! I love getting reviews from you all!