Marriage
By: blackdragonflower and xxdevilsincarnate
--
"Love isn't defined by race, age, gender, or looks, it's defined by LOVE and nothing else.."-Unknown
--
Nicely, but loudly the church bells chimed and cars were parked outside, white ribbons tied around trees and people were entering, smiles on there faces, except one little girl, a young Lolita dressed in a blue and pink Lolita outfit that had stripes on it and a hyperactive girl dressed in a black suit with obnoxiously bright orange tie and in her blonde and blue hair is the same brightly orange tie only in a bow with parts streaking down, and she was holding a blue-aqua colored bible by her side.
"Isn't this so prettifuls Erin-dono?"
"..." The other girl, not wearing such obnoxious colors, shook her head no. "It's terrible."
Tsuki rolled her eyes and lightly punched her friend's shoulder. "Shut up. You're bad luck. Be nice at least today. You can't ruin the marriage we worked so hard to put together!"
"We? We had nothing to do with this wedding we just initially shoved them into their first kiss, which brought forth the blossoming seed of their love to be. We had nothing else to do with this foolish wedding Tsuki."
Tsuki grinned mischievously. "You're a bridesmaid. I'm the priest thing. I say we have a lot to do with this wedding."
"So did they decide which one was wearing the dress? That's the only reason I came to this thing."
"Yeah, I was there when they decided."
"...How'd they decide?"
"Russian Roulette."
"..." Erin gave her friend and co-leader a look that pretty much said, 'They'd be dead' and Tsuki grinned widely.
"Oh, it was blank bullet. Matt looks sooooo SMEXY."
The two entered the church as Erin let out a deep sigh and walked towards the bride's room and entered the room. "You're the bride? I came to bother Mello, but you'll do." She stared at Matt. "You look...fat."
"Fat?" Matt whined pulling out a cigarette from underneath the folds of the white dress. Erin could spot the lining of jeans underneath. "I'm not fat!" Then off to the side he muttered, "I know I'm not fat... Mello thinks I look sexy why should I listen to you... I'm not fat..." He lit the cigarette and straightened the skirt.
"You should listen to me because I own you."
"Own me?"
She nodded, "Yep. No questioning me." She smirked and sat down in a chair. "Nervous, mortal?"
"No... at least not about you..." The redhead inhaled some nicotine from his cigarette in an effort to calm his frantic nerves. 'God why do I have to deal with this one? Wait... if I have her than he has the other one... oh dear. Nothing good can come out of that.'
Erin stood back up. "You guys gonna adopt?"
"...Uh, no..." Erin took in the wedding dress, white with laces and a pearl necklace, the dress reached the floor and the sleeves had bows and was showing his bare shoulders, a white tiara with a heart in the middle with crystals and a white veil connected to it. Though I tried to convince Mello to adopt Tsuki...
She sighed. "Oh" It was somewhat obvious she didn't want to give up her Matt. "Matt, did you just reach puberty?"
"Uh, no. That happened when I was like thirteen why?"
Erin pointed to Matt's face a terrified look in her eyes. "Look in the mirror."
The gamer looked in the mirror and the cigarette dropped from his mouth. He then let out the most bloodcurdling scream that could ever be heard from a male that was in no way girly sounding.
--
Tsuki poked her head into Mello's room and smirked liking what she saw. Mello was shirtless and fiddling with his white bow tie. Tsuki grinned then laughed. "Is this where I can hire me a pole dancer?"
The blonde whirled around his eyebrows furrowed. "What the hell are you doing in here you abomination!?"
"Eh..." Tsuki closed the door behind her giving Mello his "privacy". "You should be nice... I didn't have to be your priest, pastor, whatever it is."
"..." Mello rolled his icy blue eyes. "I don't have to have you here." 'Matt forced me... Jackass... ass... hm... Matt has a sexy ass... and soon it'll be entirely mine! Hee hee... We're going to have lots of fun on our honeymoon. And they'll be no Tsuki or Erin to interrupt our fun time... like last time.' Mello scowled at that thought.
Tsuki growled snapping, "You do need me Mello! You know I'm the only one who would do the service for you because most are too afraid to do a marriage between two male lovers! I was willing to go the distance for your love because you two have to be together the stars say so! I'm the only one who would be willing to sacrifice my sanity and beautiful reputation for your forbidden love! ... Why don't you love me Mello-kins?!"
"..." 'God she has fucking problems... And what sanity is she talking about? She's never had it to begin with!' The blonde's eyebrow twitched. 'I'm sure Matt is having tons of fun... Heh, at least he has to wear the dress and not me. Sucker. He should know better than to play Russian roulette against me, when part of my heritage is Russian. The ignorant fool, but he's so cute when he's stupid.'
Tsuki raised an eyebrow and poked Mello.
'God, Tsuki and Erin ruined my life...fucking walking in on Matt and me during our time together...with Mattie in chocolate cake mix...hm, cake sounds good...I should make some cake later... Hm, I hope the cake L ordered is chocolate...then I can feed Matt...mmm Matt in cake mix...and chocolate and whipped cream and in chains...damn you Tsuki and Erin! He had to fucking bring you guys in...however Tsuki at least pays rent...kind of...and thanks to those two Matt and I got together...huh, maybe they're not that bad...'
"You think too much."
"Wha--?"
"Stop thinking! God thinking can sometimes be bad for you!"
"Quiet girl and let me get dressed."
"..."
Mello sighed. Mattie could help me with this tie...hehe bondage...
"MELLO! Jeez!"
"Shut up slave."
"I'm not your slave Mello. In fact I think you should appreciate me more! I mean geesh I bought you chocolate last week..."
'Yum... and that chocolate was put to good use... on Matt. Melted the chocolate down and drizzled it down his skinny stomach... Mmm... then on his face... Best chocolate I ever had... Mattie is the honeymoon yet? I can't wait to see your skin glowing as you stand in the moonlight... and I fuck you senseless...' At Mello's very, productive thoughts blood started to trickle from his nose. Seeing it Tsuki held her gut and laughed. She backed into a lamp and knocked it over and still laughed.
"Damn I know what you're thinking about! Thinking about screwing with Mattie again? It's so apparent on your face! Better check you don't become anemic with all that blood you're losing!"
Mello snapped back to reality and grabbed a bunch of tissues. "Crap..." At that moment a bloodcurdling scream filled the air. "Ah shit..."
"I hope Erin isn't trying to kill people!"
"That was Matt's screaming you son of a bitch!" He ran out the door in only his white tux pants and to Matt's room. "Mattie, you okay?!"
The redhead was crumpled on the floor his face in his hands nearly crying. The white skirt was pooled around him and Erin was looking quite smug in the corner of the room. "He will not be able to wed today if ever."
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Mello yelled settling onto the floor beside his lover. "Mattie... what's wrong? Mattie?" Matt recoiled.
"No! You can't see it!"
"Matt what the hell are you talking about?!"
"You can't see it go away!" Having enough of whatever was going on Mello ripped Matt's hands away from his face.
"..."
"For Christ's sake..." Tsuki mumbled. "that's what the screaming was for?"
"Matt is vain...kind of..." Erin mumbled, hugging a random, ripped stuffed rabbit that was missing an eye and had stitches on the arm and had apparent bloodstains on its used to be white fabric.
Mello sighed, "Just put on some make up..."
"Or burn it off."
"No! We are not getting rid of Mattie's perfect, flawless skin..."
"..." Matt whimpered.
Tsuki rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Okay... number one, Mello as hot as it is and believe me I'm loving the view, you're still shirtless. Two, Matt's skin can't be flawless if he has a pimple full of white puss and yuckiness"
"Ew." Erin stated a look of disgust quite visibility plastered on her face. Matt was nearly about to break down crying. "Matt, you don't look bad..."
"Shut up! You have yet to reach puberty! You evil...fifteen year...geez, you haven't yet, have you?"
Erin sighed. "It's a curse."
"God, you gotta make me feel so bad!"
"Tsuki, neither have you. You're still flat chested."
"...Shut the hell up, blondie."
Matt whimpered. "You don't matter! This is suppose to be my super special awesome wedding day not yours!"
"Pmsing much."
"I'm not a damn woman I can't pms!"
"Yeah... See the mirror pimple boy."
"Get lost slave."
"How many times do I have to te-"
"Shut the fuck up and get some Windex!"
"Windex? Are you fucking crazy? What the hell are you going to use windex for? Are we washing windows?"
"No jackass. Just go get it... And hurry up... Our wedding starts soon." Mello snapped as he huggled Matt trying to comfort the distressed redhead.
"Fine whatever! But still... you might want to actually get dressed. I'm sure you both want to be on your honeymoon already but... I'm postponing your happy fun time hour full of dirtiness and bondage, and chocolate, and other edible fun stuff..."
"SHUT UP AND GO ALREADY! And take the witch with you."
"I am not a witch, I am a demon. Echo's incarnate."
"...LEAVE!"
:"..."
"... Mello... do you think I'm fat?"
--
The red carpet was littered with light blue rose petals and Mello was waiting in front of the altar where Tsuki stood a bright smile on her face. In fact, if her smile were any wider her skin would tear off her skeleton. The beautiful piano melody began to resonate throughout the church and Matt stepped out onto the middle aisle, Watari guiding him. Mello was nervous as hell. If he could sweat bullets he could supply a war.
Wow...Mello thought, a small smile on his face. He looks...hot. So fucking...why can't we skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon? Damn it!!
Matt softly groaned and blushed when he realized Mello was staring at him that same way before they have their alone time. "Mello," he mumbled, "Be patient..." He stepped up to the alter and Tsuki began.
"Let's skip all that boring shit that you've all been preparing to snore through shall we?" Matt and Mello exchanged worried glances. This wasn't in the script. "But first, we should at least look back at the two's history. Mello ran away. Then Matt followed like the dog he is."
"Tsuki..." Mello growled holding Matt's hand tightly. Matt was blushing red and trying to keep his blonde from pouncing on the girl and strangling her.
"Oh... Okay Mello whatever. Anyways... I guess we'll get on with it since you don't like stories..." She sighed. "Do you Mello take Matt in bed or out. Sick and vomiting or smiling and happy go lucky. Stupid or intelligent. In love or hate? Do you promise to love him until you die a miserable death? ... Wait... this isn't right... Erin! Did you mess with my index cards?"
The girl chuckled evilly. Mello rolled his eyes and grunted, "I do."
"Okay I'm gonna freestyle this peeps so watch out! Do you Matt take Mello in all his sexy leather wearing, chocolate eating, abusive relationship love-hate, bondage loving, handcuff fetishist ways?"
"Uh..." Matt sweat dropped. Maybe having Tsuki for priest was a bad idea. Her orange bow and tie had been the first signs of things going terribly wrong.
"Please just say it Matt... I'm desperate..." Mello whispered.
"I do?"
"Good enough for me! You may now kiss the... well... Mello you can kiss Matt. Please keep it... rated teen. No stripping, no illegal touching, no diving for home plate alright? Oh, and please keep it under two minutes. Please and thank you?"
"Ruin the fucking moment why don't you?" Mello hissed. Matt chuckled and his attention was momentarily turned away from Mello when he noticed Watari and Roger hugging each other and sobbing. His attention was returned, however, when Mello grabbed his chin and placed a light kiss on his lips.
"You are now...husband and...you two are just together! Like the stars, Erin, Echo, the Tarot Cards and strippers at Mello's bachelor party predicted."
Mello and Matt both turned bright pink and Matt held tight to his bouquet of flowers. Deciding he could put the flowers to better use Mello grabbed them and smacked Tsuki with them. "Shut the hell up girl. Now... c'mon Mattie... We have better things to be doing..."
"What about the reception at Wammy's, blondie?" Erin muttered, annoyed. "They got the bratty nerds out for the day. Be there or no chocolate or privacy for a month."
Matt made a small sound that resembled annoyance at Erin and excitement at Mello. "We'll be there, Erin. Don't worry."
"...Good..."
Mello whined when everyone was out of earshot, "But Mattie, I want you now! I can't fucking wait any more... Tsuki's fucking vows had some kinky shit in it."
"Oh?"
"And I wanted to try them on you!"
"Well, you have to wait, wait until we're drunk on wine and in an airport."
"..." Mello growled in annoyance. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get away from the annoyances of the two girls and the sooner we can be alone!"
"Is that all you care about?" Matt snapped and Erin appeared behind them.
"Just like a true, married couple." She tilted her head. "You two should divorce."
"Go the hell away!" Matt growled finally reaching the ends of his patience with the girl. "Let me have a fucking argument with my wife!"
"..."
"Wife? You're the one in the dress dumbass."
"You got lucky. You're Russian after all... you rigged it."
"How do you fucking rig Russian roulette?" Mello hissed.
"You just can!" Matt was now blushing a furious red.
Seeing Matt's bashful face Mello smiled in admiration, 'Aw how cute is that? He's just like a puppy... Why haven't I ever gotten a puppy? Oh right I don't like dogs, except Matt... He's different, sexy and funny... Always making me laugh at something stupid. Aw he just got redder! How cyute! ... I wonder if that's his real hair color.'
Without really realizing it, he reached out and petted Matt's hair. So soft...how does he get it that soft? God...I envy him...which reminds me, I gotta poison Near's drink at the reception, God dammit why must we go? I want to put Matt in a collar that's leather and...and...and...I should buy a new, sexy leather outfit...with random zippers with no purpose and a white hood...mmmm I'm gonna be sexy...yum, Matt sexy with a short, short leather skirt and his normal shirts...I wonder if Matt would like a red and white stripped convertible...but my motorcycle is great. We could get rid of Matt's '67...however, that backseat has so many memories...again, we should skip the reception and leave. Just like my parents. God damn them for dying. Jeez...does he dye his hair...?
Matt purred as Mello absently pet his hair. Seeing as the blonde was in one of his "unique" trains of thought again Matt started rubbing his cheek affectionately against Mello's until he decided to come back down to what was a somewhat recognizable Earth. "Honey bunny... Come back from lala land! ... Did you hide my Super Mario 64 boxers?"
"Yeah yeah sure."
"Do you love me?"
"Huh?" Mello blinked awake. "What'd you say Mattie? Sorry out in space taking a joyride."
"..." Matt pouted. "Hopefully about me!"
"...Duh..."
"So really did you take my Super Mario 64 boxers?"
"No... I burned them. They had huge holes in them!"
"So!"
"Shut up we're skipping the reception. It's ridiculous..."
"Mello-kins..." Matt whined. "Stop being such a stubborn ass..."
Mello took Matt's hands into his own. "Matt. Don't you want to get to the fun part of the honeymoon?"
Matt nodded. "Yes, but Mello, reception is only once. Let's go and stay for a few hours and then we can leave. You can feel me up in public if you would like."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
--
Mello's eyes widened and his mouth watered looking at the cake covered in layers of thick fudge frosting. The inside was yummy German chocolate and Belgian chocolate mixed to the perfect consistency. Placed in strategic placements, halves of strawberries coated in sugar rested atop the frosting. As soon as the cake was cut and distributed, Erin carefully dug into the cake, as if it were poison and slowly began to eat it.
"This concoction tastes familiar, but from where?"
"Shut up Erin and eat the damn cake!" Tsuki grinned shoving some of the cake into her mouth. She twitched when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey shrimpy. What's up?" She turned to find bright silver eyes and blonde hair. She squealed loudly and glomped the man.
"ACE-KUN!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! WHERE'D YOU GO WITHOUT ME! WAAAAHHHH!!" The girl cried looking much like she would have when she was a young girl of three.
"..." Erin's eyes narrowed. "...Bazzle... The force is strong with that one."
"What are you mumbling about now Lady Erin?"
She didn't even bother to turn. "I knew you'd come back Bazzle. They always come back."
Meanwhile, the groom and... groom were sitting together in their own private little corner. Mello was nearly on top of Matt and their chairs were wedged right up against each other's. Matt held a fork in hand and laughed. "Open up so I can feed you Mello!"
"I'm not a fucking baby I can feed myself!"
Matt pouted feeling rejected. "But... that's what married couples do at their receptions..."
"And you would know this how?"
"I... Mello... Dammit Mello!"
"What? What'd I do now?"
"It's not what you did it's what you didn't do!"
"Huh?"
"Just eat the goddamn fucking cake I'm trying to feed you okay? You're being a pain and hurting my feelings!"
Mello looked taken aback by Matt's sudden mood change. "Matt, what the hell is wrong with you? You were in such a good mood..."
"YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME!"
"Yes, I do!"
Matt shook his head. "You never cared! All you were in for was the sex!"
"Uh...no I wasn't! Mattie...! If it makes you feel better, we can go play Laser Tag after."
Matt sniffled. "Okay..."
"Feel better?"
"Uh-huh...Well...a little...Mello, am I fat?"
"What? Hell no! Who the hell told you that?"
"..." Sniffle. "...Erin."
"Why the hell do you listen to that girl? You know what nevermind..." Mello picked up Matt's fork. "Open wide." Matt obeyed and he tasted the delicious cake in his mouth and then felt Mello's lips on his. "Love you, Mattie."
"Love you too, Mells. But, I love you more."
"Of course." Not. I'm number one, bitch... Heh... Mattie's my bitch... No wait... Can't have another train of thought like this... I've had so many today... but they're so... stimulating and... and... oh to hell with it... "Matt...?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you like to... ya know... vanish into thin air?"
Matt covered his mouth then exclaimed, "ZOMG! You can do that shit Mells! I didn't know you were a magician!"
Mello's eyebrow twitched. What the hell was Matt going on about. "Matt... are you alright? You seem... awkward..."
"No I'm not. I put my shirt on the right way this morning..."
"Okay you know what... Fuck that. Nice Mello going bye bye." Mello reached over and grabbed his lover pulling him close. Matt's eyes went wide as Mello crushed his mouth against his, into a tongue war.
The red head pulled away for a moment, "Mells--" He was cut off by another rough kiss and softly sighed when Mello ran his fingers through his red hair.
I love it when Mello rubs my scalp, it feels nice and heavenly. Just like that scented lotion Tsuki was wearing the other day. Crazy bitch. For listening to a weirdo girl like Erin. Erin was such a great pet for a while, like a daughter to me, all cuddles and innocent, but she's now an evil little girl from some horror movie. Speaking of which, I wanna see Witch Blair Projects again...and projects, I gotta finish that model car I've been working on. Mello keeps me from ever finishing it...wanting sex all the time...bastard...but he is sexy...this is fun, no wonder Mells does it...you just forget the Earth...speaking of which, where am I? And why do I feel as if Erin is standing behind me with a butcher's knife? Creepy...this calls for horror music! Hehe, this is fun...Mello's looking at me strangely...Mello is strange. But that's why I love him...but does he love me? This cake is gonna make me fat...oh jeez, how does a little girl have this affect of people? She's just a nutty, insane, misunderstood, scary girl...crap, now I feel like she's plotting something against us...again. I hope not...Mello will save us though. Mello is my hero, my perfectly sex addicted hero...I love him...to death. No wait... if Erin even knows I thought that... OH GOD! RUN MELLO RUN! Wait... never mind... This is just a thought bubble... God this is tiring... I don't know how Mello has the energy to do this.
Matt pulled away. "Can we go?"
"YES! THANK YOU! LORD IN HEAVEN!"
Mello glomped the redhead very very happy for the option to leave. "Mello... It is time to go..."
"Why?"
"Tsuki... is dancing on table... Not pretty... My eyes... they burn..."
"Oh my dear... I brought these for you!" Mello pulled Mattie's goggles from a special pocket. "Here you go baby all for you! Let's go honeymoon so we can snuggle."
'Snuggle? Yeah right... More like I'll be hammered into some couch, or a bed, or a wall'
'Hm... I wonder what surface I should hammer him into first? But then again... I said we'd snuggle... and he's so cute and adorable... and huggable. Fine. God. We're gonna have to box up some of that cake for laater! We're gonna have happy fuun tiime.'
Matt stood up and grabbed Mello's hand and whispered something to Near.
"Okay. Have fun."
As the two lovers passed Erin and Tsuki, Tsuki shouted, "Don't have sex!!"
Once out of the reception's hall Matt let out a sigh. Mello surprised Matt by picking him up "bridal style" with a laugh. Matt clung around Mello's neck afraid of falling. The blonde descended the few steps and to Matt's now technically theirs '67. "Let's get you out of that dress... It must be so humiliating."
"Actually... I forgot I was wearing it."
"Well then... Let's go, escape."