"I went back to her estate in the Nineties. Just once or twice." He smiled sadly at the thought, "Never said 'hello'. Time lines and that..."
The Doctor had to think of a distraction, he didn't want to be reminded of Rose, of the continual loss in my gut as the memories flooded through. In fact, he was so tormented with these familiar demons that he'd looked away in attempted to shade himself from Jack's watching gaze.
"D'you want to die?"
But now, as he looked across the empty TARDIS he could feel his chest swell in ache. Astrid, beautiful Astrid Peth. He'd lost another, as if he'd been reminded of that beautiful feeling of having Rose around but losing her again. Astrid even acted like Rose.
The TARDIS hummed in a form of comfort as he collapsed against the driver's seat. Martha, couldn't he have just loved her like he'd treasured Rose, couldn't he be more like Captain Jack and be able to flirt and falling love with any and everyone?
Still, at least he'd got to see her, one last time; Jack had the chance that he'd never have. He'd never see Rose again.
The TARDIS suddenly lurched forward then and automatically flew through time. Grabbing onto the railings as his own ship threw him about, he tried to reach the controls. The ship was stubborn. She went with such a speed that he was thrown with such force against the door so that when she'd reached the destination. He'd literally fallen through the doors.
He was on Earth, he could taste that...and judging by the smoke, rural London-No! He didn't want to be here. He couldn't be here. Not this part of London, anywhere but here! He launched himself as the locked doors and thumped his clenched fists at the wood.
"No! Not here! I can't be here! Please, let me in!"
In his own ears, his voice broke.
"Please"
The TARDIS stood strong, doors locked and forbidden as he suddenly heard a familiar voice and nearly broke down at the sound of it.