Author's Note: This fanfic will be a collection of one-chapter fics set around holidays and birthdays. None of these fics will be getting a continuing second chapter.

Makeout Mistletoe

Jeller, set in a non-specific season (post-Jeller-marriage), but I guess maybe season 3?

"Rich, what are you doing?" Reade demanded, frowning.

"Isn't it obvious?" Rich dragged the stepladder away from the elevator doors and collapsed it, then leaned it up against the wall. "The next people who come out of the elevator have to make out under the mistletoe."

"Let me guess," Patterson said. "You already hacked the elevator so that it doesn't stop at any other floors except the car park, where Jane and Weller will be any second now."

Rich snorted. "No. I have no idea why you'd think such a ridiculous—okay, yes, but only a little."

"I want to know when a mistletoe kiss became mistletoe making out," Zapata said, looking up from her paperwork.

"Hey, if Bob from the mailroom and Mabel from human resources are the next two people out of that elevator, Rich, you gotta stand there and watch that makeout session for as long as it lasts," Reade told him, then headed back into his office, rolling his eyes.

"I mean, I wouldn't hate that… It takes all sorts." Mercifully, they were saved from more discussion about Bob and Mabel—two of the least likely people in the whole building to engage in an office makeout session with anyone, let alone each other—by the elevator lights indicating that someone was on the way to SIOC.

When the elevator doors opened, most of the agents and administration workers in the open-plan room turned to look towards the anticipated spectacle. As Rich registered that Jane and Kurt had arrived, he let out a noise not entirely unlike a squeak, and dashed forward to intercept them.

"Hey, you guys, I need you to stand right…here."

Kurt and Jane exchanged baffled looks, but allowed themselves to be positioned where Rich specified.

"What exactly is this about, Rich?" Kurt asked.

"And, uh, why is everyone staring?" Jane added, her gaze scanning the oh-so-casually attentive audience.

"Look up," Rich said, grinning.

They both did, and their confusion shifted into amused exasperation as they registered the mistletoe pinned up above the elevator doors.

"Apparently that's makeout mistletoe, not just kiss mistletoe, guys," Patterson said, and sipped from her coffee mug to hide her smile.

"I call bullshit," Jane said, unable to keep a straight face as she looked from Rich to her husband.

"Hey, it's two sprigs. That doubles the potency. I don't make the rules," Rich said, giving them his most angelic look.

Kurt's expression made it clear he didn't believe the contrived logic any more than Jane, but after another glance up at the mistletoe, he grinned. "Well, it is Christmas."

With a long-suffering sigh belied by the gleam in her eyes, Jane slid her arms around Kurt's neck. He pulled her close and gave her a lingering, but relatively chaste kiss, which she returned wholeheartedly as the watching agents whooped and applauded.

"Oh, come on," Rich complained, as they separated with soft smiles at each other. "No wandering hands, not even any tongue? That in no way qualifies as making out."

"Quit while you're ahead, Rich," Patterson advised, dragging him back in the direction of the lab while Jane and Kurt headed the other way, towards the locker room.

"Didn't you once tell me they do all their kissing in the locker room anyway? Maybe I should—" Rich tugged on her arm, to no avail.

"Uh, Rich? You're not going anywhere near that locker room until you clock out of here tonight. You have to unhack the elevator, right now."

"Okay, okay, Scrooge. Humbug to you, as well. Geez," Rich muttered, and let himself be pulled along.