"I'm Jealous"
For my two favorite people, Tina and Mariana.
Love you guys.
Hardy Boyz Slash Song Fic to "Im Jealous"- by Shania Twain.
Thanks to every one who believed in me.
PS. I know I missed a few Choruses, those will be another chapter to this. Sorry about that guys.
My baby Brother Jeff. He loved nature. He loved everything from the Willows to the little bugs that would bite you in the middle of the night. To him, everything was either a he or a she. The moon was a she and the Willow in our yard was a he. I admired him. Even though he looked up to me, I always looked up to him mostly.
If I were the moon, I could
catch your eye--I'm jealous of the moon
If I were the wind, I would
make you fly--I'm jealous of that too
It was a warm night here in North Carolina. It was muggy. Everything was still. Not even a cricket chirped. And there I was, sitting on the patio with a warm cola in my hand. I was alone. Daddy had went to his friend's house to dink and play cards for the night. Jeff had gone to Shannon's hours ago. I was just me and our old family dog, Buddy. I sighed as I looked up at the moon. It was full tonight. A few minutes later our porch lights came on, that meant some one was coming down the drive way. I squinted into the darkness. It was Jeff, pushing his bike down the dirt road. I got up and jogged up to him. Buddy at my heels.
"You okay Jeffro?" I asked when I finally made it up to him. He was dirty. His hair was a mess. So were his clothes. Honestly, he reminded me of Pig Pen from the Peanuts. Oil was smeared all over his face and clothes. He gave me a weak smile as he bent down to pet Buddy.
"Yeah, but my gas tank got busted." He said. "You think you can help me fix it later maybe?"
I laughed. "Of course Baby Bro."
He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Well I guess I better get a shower huh Matty? I do look pretty dirty don't I?" He laughed. "Hey where is Daddy anyways?"
"Dad left a while ago. He went over to what's his names house." I said as I looked at his gas tank. It was cracked pretty bad and some gas was leaking out of it. I took a rag out of my back pocket and cleaned it off just to be sure, but it was leaking. I pushed his bike the rest of that way home as he trudged along beside me, occasionally throwing a stick for Buddy. When we got home I fixed him his favorite, Mac and Cheese. The he hopped in the shower and I took my place back out on the patio. I few minutes later I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.
"She's beautiful tonight aint she?" He said softly. I looked up at Jeff, the moon illuminating his skin softly. I loved him. The moon reflected softly in his green eyes. A soft breeze stirred the dust on the porch.
"Its about time you decide to come around." Jeff said. His wet hair moved softly with the breeze. I was in love.
I wish I were the sun shining
on your face--caressing like a lover
I would wrap you in a warm embrace--
we'd be holdin' one another
(I'm jealous of the sun)
I'm jealous of the sun
(Jealous of the sun) Oh,
I'm jealous of the sun
Spring. His favorite time of the year. When all the flowers are budding and all the baby critters are being born. Every year he planted a little garden in Mom's old flower box. They bloomed. Better than any ones else's flowers in North Carolina.
Me and him where laying out in the sun. He had convinced me earlier that it would be fun and a nice way to spend quite time together. It didn't really take much convincing being as I was pretty much a slave to his every whim. We had been laying there for quite sometime now. Looking up at the clouds and guessing what they looked like to one another. He had quite the imagination, even at fifteen.
"Look at that one." He said pointing at a cloud. "It looks like a heart." I squinted up at the bright azure sky. I saw it, and it was shaped like a big fluffy heart.
"And look there! It looks like a little dog, one of them little rat dogs." He laughed. Now that one I didn't see, but I pretended to see it for him. Honestly, I could hardly see any of the shapes he saw. I just saw ordinary clouds. I repositioned my self on the blanket. The sun was beginning in to burn the skin on my arm.
"Here Matty, come lay next to me right here." He patted the spot next to him. "The branches from Mr. Willow here give us shade." He said softly as he gently pat the trunk of the old Willow. "That Sun man, He sure is handsome today."
I coked my eyebrow. He just had such a strange way of expressing himself. I turned to look at him. Shimmering blonde hair and soft sun kissed skin. He was just starting to grow hair in his underarms. His green eyes, narrowed so he could look up into the blue sky. His arms were getting longer and more muscely. He was getting to be big, almost as big as me. He was changing from that sweet and innocent little boy into a rambunctious and rebellious teenager. I knew that I was going to miss him.
At that moment, I wanted to be the Sun. I wanted to be able to caress him as the Sun did. I wanted to hug his body the way the Sun did. I wanted to follow him every where he went and be something of importance to him. The Sun could touch him any where, anytime, any place. I on the other hand, I couldn't touch him. I never could. That would be frowned upon.
Oh, I don't wanna share you with
nothing else--I gotta have you to myself
Oh--I can't help it--I'm so in love--
I just can't get you close enough, no
"Matty, Kelly is on the phone, she wants to know if I can go out tonight." Jeff said with his hand over the receiver. I sighed. Tonight was Friday night. We always spent Friday night together. We watched a movie, played games or did what ever. I didn't want him to go. But I knew I had to. I couldn't keep him to myself, not all the time. I debated with myself for a few seconds and finally nodded my head in approval. He was to go out with his girlfriend I would be home all alone this Friday night. I turned and walked out of the kitchen and plopped down on the couch. I heard him chatter for a few more minutes and then I heard him hang up. I heard his soft footsteps on the carpet making there way towards me. He placed a hand on my neck and began to massage it.
"Big Bro, I wont go if you don't want me to. I'll stay here with you." He said softly as he began to massage the base of my neck. I was half tempted to tell him to stay here with me. Tell him I could make him happier than any woman ever could. I knew that was what he was really going for. Dad knew Kelly's family. They seldom went out to dinner and when they did it was the adults only. SO I knew why Jeff was really going. I hated to think of it but I knew it was true.
"You sure Matty?" He asked me again. He had worked his way up to the nape of my neck, my sensitive spot.
"Yeah. I'll be okay." I sighed.
"Okay well Im gonna go take a shower and get ready." He said. I watched him bound up the stairs happily. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes. I could just imagine him in the shower. I began to get hard and I had hardly noticed. I opened my eyes and Jeff was already down stairs.
"Matty! Brush my hair please?" He asked as he hopped over the couch and sat on the floor between my legs. I sighed and took the brush from his hands and began to wok it softly through his wet hair.
"Don't sit so close man." I said as I gently nudged him with my knee. I continued to work the brush through his golden hair until l it was all brushed out.
I loved just being close to him. Even if it was just brushing his hair. I didn't want him to go, I didn't want to be done brushing his hair. But I was done and he was off in his room getting ready. He bounded back down the stairs and stood in front of me.
"How do I look Matty?" He asked. I was half tempted to tell him he looked sexy. Instead I said he looked good and thought Kelly would think so too. He smiled and was out the door on his bike. I stood in the door way for some time. I watched him until he turned to nothing on the horizon and even still I watched. Daddy came home a little after and we had our dinner. I went to my usual spot on the patio and waited for Jeff. An hour had passed and still no Jeff. It was going on ten o'clock. I was getting worried but then I heard his motor coming down the dirt road. He pulled up and tossed his bike aside. He ran up the steps and fell into my arms, his face wet.
"Whats wrong Jeff?" I asked as I stroked his tangled hair.
"She don't like me Matty. I went over there and I seen her laying with Robbie. She used me Matty." He sobbed into my lap. I hugged him and held him close. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?" He asked me. My heart skipped a beat and I answered sure.
Later that night we lay in my win bed together. It was a tight fit but it was worth every cramp I was to have in the morning. Jeff lay beside me, his head rest on my left bicep. I smiled as I stroked his hair softly. He threw a leg over mine and I smiled more. I held him closer and slowly fell asleep.
When the sun's on your skin--
I can't hold it in
And I know it's a sin--
but I'm jealous of the sun
The sun shone through the windows of my old beaten and battered truck. Jeff was chattering away about some one at school excitedly. I decided to tune him out. I had other things on my mind. Like, how do I hide my throbbing erection from my fifteen year old brother. I was actually surprised he hadn't noticed it yet. I kept squirming in my seat. We still had a ways to go to get home. Maybe if I sped up it wouldn't take so long I thought. I began to drive faster.
"Matty, will you slow down. You're scaring me." He reached over and touched my arm.
"No Jeffro, I cant, the butter will melt and the milk will go bad."
"That's not what's wrong Matty, I aint that stupid. Even I can see you have a hard on bigger than…well bigger than a couch!" Jeff exclaimed.
I was caught. My face was red, but not from the heat. I was done. I turned to Jeff. I had to get ready to tell him the truth.
"Jeff?" I stopped the car on the side of the road, under a big tree. "Jeff, We need to talk. And I aint playing. This is serious." I looked at him in his deep green eyes.
"Okay Matty. Go ahead, I am ready for anything. Did you get that Robinson girl pregnant? Did ya?" He asked me with a quizzical look on his sweet face.
"No Jeff," I said softly as I scooted closer to him. I put my arm around his shoulder. "The truth is, I love you Jeff." I whispered in his ear. I could feel his body tense beneath my arms. He looked at me, his green eyes glittering. His golden hair was tied back in a loose and messy bun. The sun shone beautifully on his soft skin. The tank top that had been loose and baggy on him merely weeks ago was now fitting perfectly. His legs bent when he sat in the truck. He was getting bigger. I ran a finger down the nape of his neck and he shuddered. I kissed his cheek. I felt him nudge his face closer to mine. He brushed his nose against mine softly.
" I thought you would never say it Matty." He whispered as he pressed his lips to mine.
Once Again I am very sorry about that, I thought I had all the lyrics but I didn't, so it will be another chapter.
I hope you all enjoyed it anyhow. Please Review.