Au: I have to say I took this idea from another author…..DON'T YELL AT ME! I got it with her permission…..this is a one shot by the way. So thank you so much for letting me use this sabrinaw
Disclaimer: all right, all right I'll say it….i don't own him or others!
You'll never know
It had been 3 weeks since kikyou joined our group. 3 weeks since everything happened in quick succession. Kikyou joined our group, inuyasha took her as his mate, her and sango got closer, miroku, having told his true feelings to sango, stayed where she was, but often gave me a look that suggested he still wanted to be my friend, my mother married this guy who pretended I wasn't there, they're now expecting, my brother went to live with my aunt, and the one that took the cake, shippo called her mommy.
They had no idea how much it me to see them. Sango and her going to the hot springs together, making new secrets and inside jokes together. It took bits of my heart. Every time shippo called her mommy it took a piece of my soul. The worst was watching her and inuyasha kiss. I died evey time that happened. Miroku tried to stay friends with me to pay attention but he couldn't, not with so much telling him not to. I grew more and more dead each day.
I took to writing in a little black book, sometimes the others would ask me what it was, if they could see it, when they remembered me. But it no longer mattered. They wouldn't need to see it. Not yet at least. When the time came I would show it to them.
I think the only thing that kept me alive was kaede. She knew her sister wasn't who she used to be. She understood my pain; she treated me like her daughter there uncountable time when she would let me cry my eyes, soaking her kimono. The others had no idea. But the time was drawing near. The time came when kaede died and my savior was lost.
The time was here… I ripped the necessary pages from my notebook. I hid the rest of the book where they were sure to find it at a later time. I placed them in an envelope and marked their names in large letters on the front. Soon they would find it and all would be explained.
When inuyasha awoke the next morning the first thing he notice was that something was amiss. But he was unable to place his finger on it, he looked to his left, kikyou was still curled up next to him, kaede and miroku and the rest were all in their normal places having fallen asleep after a long night of story telling the night before. He brushed it off. That's when kikyou woke up, he kissed her.
"Look at this," kikyou said. In her had she held a white envelope with their names written on the front.
"Lets wake the others up and we'll read it together" Inuyasha replied.
So they did, with grumbling and complaining they gathered in a circle to read what ever was in side.
As kikyou opened it 5 separate letters fell out. Each envelope had a different name marked on it. They decided to read them aloud.
"I'll read my first," sango volunteered.
"My dearest sango,
Whenever you would remember my presence you would ask what I was writing in my notebook...well here is one of the things I was writing.
You came to me like the windA gentle rain that wiped away my tears
You were a sister
We shared secrets and jokes
Laughter and tears
You knew whom I loved
But was too afraid to tell
I knew your deepest secret
Now he knows
We endured fights
And many late nights talking
Dreams and fears were revealed those nights
But did you know how much I loved you?
You were my best friend
My sister
Remember the past
And explore the future
Please remember me, even when you have found my replacement.
With all my loveKagome."
There was a silence around the circle.
"I'll go next." Inuyasha volunteered.
" inuyasha,
I wish I could have told you what you mean to me, but I was to scared. I was scared of rejection, and many other things that I cannot name. I would often stay up late at night thinking what it would be like for you to love me like you love kikyou. But the time has come; all I want is for you to be happy, with or without you. But even if you don't remember me remember these words, no matter what you look like, or what your heritage is, you are perfect the way you are and shouldn't be changed.
My love,
kagome
"I'll go next." Miroku said.
"Miroku,
Though we have called you a lech and a pervert I want you to know you were like a brother to me. You were always so kind to me, even when I was replaced. You deserve to know what I really thought about you. You were respectable and brave, you showed more courage then anyone I've ever known. I love you just the way you are. If I had a choice to have met you with out your perverseness, I would have said no I like you just the way you are. I wouldn't want you any other way.
In sisterly love
Kagome."
"Me now." Shippo said.
"My son,
I want you to know even though you call some else mommy, I still love you like a son. All I want is for you to be happy. Even If you can' be happy with me as your mother. Just remember I love you. Please remember this as you grow, dance as if no one was watching, sing as if no one were listening, love as if it won't hurt, and live every day as if it were your last.
Your mother
Kagome"
"Well I guess it's my turn." Kikyou started reading.
"Kikyou,
Kikyou even though I hate you with all my being, please keep my loved ones save, make sure their happy. Though they have chosen you over me, I still love them. Don't let them be sad with what I'm about to tell you. Meet me at the god tree as soon as you've all read the notes, there you will receive your soul. Bring the others they deserve to see.
Kagome"
"We should go now." Kikyou said after she had finished the letter.
Without a word she stood up and left the hut. The others wordlessly followed. They walked kikyou holding inuyasha's hand, and shippo in her arms, miroku and sango hand and hand.
When they arrived at the god tree, kagome was there, with her back to them. Before they could say a word she spoke.
"I'm so sorry. I don't deserve any of you. Your all to good for me. I'll be better if after this is over you just forget me, I'm going to leave you like the wind, please if you remember me at all let it be a happy memory before all this happened."
Then she walked up to inuyasha and removed the prayer beads from around his neck.
Then as they watched silently she walked to the god tree, and lifted a long, silver, slender dagger from between its roots. Then they watched shocked as with a strangled, sorrowful look at them she plunged it into her heart. Then before their eyes white mist rose from her body and enveloped kikyou and then disappeared. They gave her a proper burial.
Years after though they said they didn't remember they all did. They all remembered the girl who changed their lives. They remembered her aura how dark it seemed. It was the color of crimson that day……. the color of death, sadness, the color of aloneness.
Even though they denied it they all remembered, a demon slayer remembered a sister long lost, a tiny kit remembered losing 2 mothers, a monk remembered a friend who didn't try to change him, a hanyou remembered a lost love, and a miko remembered a selfless soul who gave hers up so she herself could have a soul and could live again.
A/N: It was so hard writing this story! I wanted to make it sad with a goodish ending..aghh. I hope you like! Thanx again to sabrinaw!
Please review! Pleeeeeaaassssssseee….you've reduced me to begging.