Hello, my friends and fellow Kirby fans! It is I, Umbreon Mastah, with another Kirby fic! This story puts the focus on four Star Warriors from Hoshi no Kaabii (though Garlude and Yamikage were never confirmed as Star Warriors, I believe them to be) in their free time.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners (I would say Nintendo, but only Meta is actually in the games...that I know of...). The Reltic Forest and Gamblos are completely made up by me.
If Meta Knight seems to be out-of-character, keep in mind that he has yet to lose his three best friends to evil, death, or both. Anyways, read on!
The Reltic Forest, located on the planet Gamblos, was a place usually devoid of all outside activity. It was small and didn't attract much notice. No one would bother to search for anything, or anyone, there. No one would have reason to even spare it a glance. And that was why no one noticed the small wisps of smoke coming from the heart of the woods.
Deep in the forest, in a very small clearing, four warriors sat around a glowing campfire. The first had spiky blond hair, purple skin, and bright brown eyes that shone from behind the grey mask he wore. A blue-green cape draped around his shoulders, and his armor donned a golden star. At his neck was a bronze locket, a shining sapphire at the middle.
Next to him sat a young woman, both her hair and skin a creamy lilac. She wore a teal dress and a soft pink cape. Her eyes were a deep red. On her pale yellow gloves was the same golden star that adorned the first warrior's armor.
The next warrior was shorter than the other two, his shape spherical. He, too, wore a mask that almost matched his comrade's, his yellow eyes the only facial features visible. He wore a deep blue cape, a shade darker than his skin, with an aquamarine mantle. His dark grey shoulder pads, edges yellow, displayed the same star as the others.
The final warrior was dressed in full ninja gear; he sat a bit farther from the others. What seemed to be a gold headband rested directly above an opening in his ninja outfit, through which his glaring red eyes could be seen. Underneath his left eye was a small scar. His auburn hair was tied with a grey ribbon. That same golden star could be seen on his waistband, next to kunai knives and shurikens. He seemed to be the only one of the four with his weapons with him, a katana at his side. Three other swords, one golden, one silver, and one red, lay by the four tents that had been set up not too far from the campfire.
Now, this scene would probably give most people the image of four battle-worn warriors, taking advantage of a quick moment of rest to plan out their next attack. And this could have been true except for the fact that one of the warriors, the first man, had a huge bag of marshmallows in his arms and was snacking on them indiscriminately.
"Jecra," said the woman, "where the hell did you get those marshmallows?" Jecra glanced up, caught halfway through stuffing his mouth with the marshmallows. Since he had to pop them under his mask, it somewhat looked like he was biting his hand off.
"Da stoh," he said, words muffled by the marshmallow goop. The woman figured that he meant "the store."
"You mean, the store you were supposed to be buying actual food from?" she said, putting her hands on her hips. Jecra said nothing, the only sound coming from him the quiet gulp of swallowed marshmallow goop. "I'll take that as a yes," she muttered.
"Garlude, don't be so hard on him," said the third warrior. "We have enough food to last us. So what if Jecra bought marshmallows?" Garlude narrowed her eyes.
"You're the one who was concerned with buying as much food as physically possible, I seem to recall," she spat.
"Yes, but Jecra has marshmallows. That's why I'm on his side."
"That's my Meta Knight!" Jecra shouted. "Here, catch!" He threw two marshmallows to Meta Knight, who caught them with ease and immediately popped them into his mouth.
"What is it with men and junk food?" Garlude muttered under her breath.
"It's not junk food," said Meta, holding up his hand in a signal for Jecra to pitch another one to him. "Besides," he argued, "we run around so much, it's not like we're stockpiling calories."
"What it is," Jecra said, grabbing one from the bag and throwing it, "is fluffy, goopy heaven mushed into a bite-sized puff."
"You two are hopeless!" she cried, whacking her head with her hand. "Star Warriors with a marshmallow addiction! Yamikage, back me up here!" The last sentence was directed towards the ninja, who had, up to this point, tried to stay out of this discussion. He pulled out his katana and began to polish it.
"Don't bring me into this," he muttered.
"Yamikageee!" whined Garlude. "Why am I always the one outnumbered?!"
"Because you're always the one that's wrong?" offered Jecra. He quickly ducked to avoid a stick that Garlude had found conveniently placed nearby. "Whoa, whoa, easy there!" he said. "Don't go killing me! I like life!"
"Hmph." Garlude crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue. Meta Knight looked over to Jecra, who nodded. He quickly tossed another marshmallow over.
"Garlude, what do you have against marshmallows, anyway?" asked Meta innocently. She looked up at him.
"Marshmallows are fatty foods..." Jecra couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the phrase 'fatty foods.' "...that are unhealthy. There is no way that I would ever, ever—!" But she didn't get to finish her sentence, as Meta had stuffed his marshmallow into her mouth. "Meme Migh!" she shouted, her mouth full of 'mallow. "Whey I gey oo, er onna...Ey! Dis pretty good!"
"I rest my case," Meta said simply. Garlude swallowed the marshmallow.
"Fine, fine, so marshmallows are good," she sighed, giving in. Then, a dangerous glint shone in her eye. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to get you for nearly choking me!" Meta's eyes went wide.
"What?!" He leapt up and ran, closely followed by Garlude. "I did not nearly choke you!"
"Get back here! I'm not through with you!"
"Ack! Jecra, Yamikage! Do something! Rabid woman, rabid woman!"
"WHAT?!"
"Uh oh..."
At this, Jecra had fallen over from laughing so hard, and Yamikage had buried his head in his hands. "Morons, all of you," he grumbled.
"My sides, my sides!" Jecra wailed. "Oh god, you're killing me!"
"No, she's killing me!" cried Meta Knight, still running for his life. Unfortunately, he had failed to notice another conveniently placed stick (it was probably the same one...) and tripped over it. Garlude used this to her advantage.
"Ha!" she cried, tackling him. "I win! Mwaha, take that!" She jumped on him a few times and then sat on him and wouldn't get off.
"Alright, alright, uncle, uncle!" Meta shouted, gasping for air. Snickering, Garlude released her captive, who immediately ran over and hid in his tent.
"This is gold, I tell you, gold!" Jecra shouted. "Damn, if only I brought a camera with me! The great Meta Knight, scared of Garlude! Ahahaha!" Meta Knight narrowed his eyes, walked out of the tent, and snatched the bag of marshmallows from his friend. Before Jecra had enough time to complain, Meta whacked him upside the head with it and sat back down, marshmallows in tow. "Ow...I thought marshmallows were soft," he whimpered.
"Again I say, morons," said Yamikage, who had placed his katana back at his side and was now twirling a kunai knife around his finger.
"Hey, Yamikage, do you want some?" asked Meta, offering him the bag.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because." With that, the ninja turned around. Meta shrugged and continued eating the marshmallows. Garlude, however, didn't just let it go.
"Come on, Yamikage, try one!" she said. "They're good!"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Is that the only word you know?" asked Jecra. He reached over for the marshmallows, but Meta simply moved them out of reach.
"Yes," said Yamikage sarcastically. Jecra stuck out his tongue (like it could be seen from behind the mask) and continued reaching.
"Yamikage, you're never going to get anywhere in life with that I-hate-the-world-and-the-world-hates-me attitude you have," he said. This time, he reached too far and ending up falling over. "Ouch! Geez, Meta, I'm sorry! Give me the marshmallows!"
"Never," said Meta Knight, eating another one. Garlude slapped her head.
"Jecra, lay off Yamikage. Yamikage, be a bit nicer to the idiot."
"Hey!"
"Meta Knight," she sighed, "just give Jecra the damn marshmallows." Meta merely ate another one, which Garlude took to mean Why? "Because I said so," she added, voice taking a threatening turn.
Meta Knight had obviously learned from past experiences, because he uttered a quick, somewhat frantic, "Yes, ma'am," and passed the marshmallows. Jecra quickly accepted them, surprising not beating Meta over the head for his somewhat cowardly behavior (probably so that he wouldn't incur Garlude's wrath). He stuck his hand in and continued eating like he was before. The four friends sat in silence, Yamikage twirling his knife, Jecra chewing with his mouth open, Garlude occasionally giving Jecra a death glare, and Meta Knight swiping a marshmallow from the bag at every chance he got. It kept on like this for a while. Finally, Jecra couldn't take the monotony any longer.
"MARSHMALLOW FIGHT!" he shouted, throwing marshmallows everywhere. Garlude, being the closest to him, was immediately bombarded by white puffs, and the ones that bounced off of her whacked Meta. Both were, needless to say, annoyed, but Jecra was completely oblivious and kept flinging marshmallows like a madman. Finally, he ran out of ammo. His hand still groping for more in the bag, he looked up frantically to see two very pissed Star Warriors. Meta and Garlude glanced at each other, and evil grins crossed their faces. "Um, guys?" said Jecra nervously. "Guys, I just wanted to let you know that violence solves nothing, and we should all just make up! Right, guys?" His eyes went wide as he saw them both pick up a handful of marshmallows and aim. "Guys?"
Splat.
The fight was on.
Meta Knight was immediately in the air, his cape now transformed into two leathery purple wings. He had marshmallows in both hands and was attacking in a marshmallow-y air raid. Jecra quickly took cover behind the tents, pegging his 'mallows from there. Garlude, however, wasn't as lucky. Somewhat faltered by both Meta's air attack and the occasional hit from Jecra, she managed to get her hands on the same conveniently placed stick that had helped her twice before and place a few marshmallows on the point, blocking out any poking, splintering part and creating the perfect weapon.
"She's got a sword!" Jecra shouted. He leapt up as Garlude dashed at him, seeing as she couldn't reach Meta Knight. Chuckling (or was it laughing sinisterly?), Meta kept up his marshmallow barrage, only swooping down every once in a while to restock on fallen marshmallows. Throughout all of this, Yamikage kept to his kunai knife, despite the fact that a stray marshmallow had gotten itself impaled on it. The ninja pulled it off and wiped the 'mallow goop off of it, a bit disgusted. The battle continued. Another marshmallow whacked Yamikage right in the eye. Alright. No more Mr. Nice Ninja.
"Would you morons just CUT IT OUT?!" he shouted. The three stopped mid-throw (or mid-whack-Jecra-with-a-stick, in Garlude's case). "Why do I even bother with you people?!" he huffed. The ninja stormed off into his tent, leaving the others alone with the scattered snacks.
"He loves us," said Meta, "he'd just never admit it." Sighing, they sat back around the campfire. "I won," he said.
"You cheated," Garlude complained. "You know we can't reach you when you fly."
"You're the one who used a stick," he argued.
"Creative thinking."
"Ouch." That was Jecra. "Well, that was fun," he said, pulling a marshmallow out of his hair. "We should do that again sometime."
"Maybe next time," Meta said, deliberately raising his voice so that Yamikage could hear him, "Yamikage will stop being so emo and actually have fun with his friends for a change!"
"You idiots can't fight with marshmallows right," came the ninja's voice. "And I'm not your friend."
"Yamikage, you've known us for almost thirty years now," said Garlude. "You're our friend. Get over it." No response from the tent.
"So, what do we do now?" asked Jecra. Meta shrugged. His eyes went to the sky, and he began to stargaze, like he usually did when he was bored. Garlude decided to pull a Yamikage and grabbed her golden sword, starting to polish it. Jecra looked longingly at the empty marshmallow bag, already feeling his stomach start to rumble. "Meta Knight, where's the rest of the food? I'm pretty sure I bought at least three bags of marshmallows," he said.
"The food is all in..." Meta Knight stopped. His eyes widened. "...Yamikage's tent." Suddenly, the three friends were pelted with marshmallows from behind.
"You all lose," Yamikage said, leaping out of the tent with a marshmallow shooter in his hands (where the hell he got that thing, even I don't know). Still somewhat shocked, the others glanced among themselves. Then, every hand reached for a marshmallow. Chaos resumed.
All was as it should be with the four forever friends.
Well, I hope you all liked it! As always, I give cookies to my lovely reviewers! (This time, they have marshmallows. :) ) Ciao!
-Umbreon Mastah