Okaaaayyyy… I feel bad about this story. But I post it because my best friend Kath actually liked it, so- here it is.
Let me explain how it happened: I had some trouble writing lately- one of the reasons was that I kept overthinking everything, trying to think of something people might want to read instead of focusing on what I'd like to write… so two days ago, I decided to just sit down and write what I want… no matter what comes out of it. This here is a dream I actually had- so it might not be very logical and it's TOTALLY PWP!
I struggled almost a whole day to decide if I should post the outcome… but Kath's opinion made me do it.
So, sincere warning: this story is deep red M! There's EXPLICIT sex in it! G-R-A-P-H-I-C! And it's PWP, so don't expect any plot!
What might be even worse for the purists among you: I can't give any guarantees for the OOCness or lack thereof, but then I NEVER give any guarantees, so… decide for yourself.
Did I warn you about the explicit sex? Oh yes, I did… anything else I should warn about? Well. Let me warn you about the whole piece- it's DIRTY! UTTER FILTH!
Still want to read it? Sigh. Okay. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Mentalist", and I don't make money from fan fiction.
Close Combat
Senior Special Agent Teresa Lisbon turned onto her back with a desperate sigh, still trying to sort out the strange sounds all around her. She hated sleeping in places she didn't know, didn't understand, couldn't integrate into her personal comfort zone.
Army trainings camps were… surprisingly loud, even after midnight. People screaming, bellowing orders, the constant move of feet. The tents her team slept in were placed in considerable distance to the center of attention to grant them the most quiet, but it didn't amount to much. The training didn't stop at night, people working in shifts, moving, scuttling, shouting into the night.
Lisbon groaned.
And again regretted that they hadn't been able to wrap up the investigation earlier.
Cho and Rigsby were on the other side of the camp. Only Jane's tent was fairly close to hers. And that was part of the problem.
She forbid herself to think about him- again. She had done so for the past hours without much success, her restless mind returning to him as soon as she let her control slip a bit. Sleep was out of the question.
The truth was that she was terribly lonely. In a way, she had been since Lorelei Martins had died at the hands of Red John. She had spent her days in an insecure limbo since then, wondering how much Jane was grieving, how much what had happened affected him… only to find out that he seemed to ignore it completely. As he did her relentless offers to talk. He seemed to have forgotten the terror of these days.
But she had felt it, remembered, every day.
I may have some feelings.
And she had felt so raw all the time, ripped open like bloody flesh, on the verge of bleeding out, unable to control anything, out of everything she knew. She had lost it in front of him, and he had seen. Seen what she had tried to hide so hard- as if it were the cruelest of secrets. She felt like a failure. Her poker face sucked big time.
Only when a sharp sob pierced the not so quiet night around her did she notice that she was crying.
So what. She had cried like a baby every night since she had… since she had what? She didn't really know. Lorelei was gone. Jane refused to discuss her. Business as usual.
But one thing had changed. He flirted. Excessively. Aggressively. Like he never had before.
With her.
Lisbon shuddered, her hand involuntarily gliding over her flat stomach before she stopped the movement, unwilling to go there right now.
The closeness. His breath against her neck, her ear every time he leaned over to whisper something about the case. The way he sat down in front of her, arms and legs wide spread. Look here, Lisbon. Look at the show.
What a show. She wanted him more every time she looked at him. Every time he smiled. Rolled his eyes. Shot this seductive sparkle at her that made her damn knees buckle.
Sometimes it almost felt as if he wanted her to take over. Make the next step. Put her damn hand on his damn crotch and…
Lisbon groaned and turned onto her side again, curling into a ball to conserve body heat. It wasn't exactly cold, but the loneliness felt like a freezing layer around her core, stopping her from actually feeling warm.
She shivered. And still didn't know what to do, the hurt inside her blossoming like an ugly, bruised flower.
Business as usual.
Xxxxxxxxxx
Please, come here. Please, please, please, please, please.
Patrick Jane felt his breath coil into the darkness, the sounds of the nightly camp a welcome source of comfort. Nobody would hear what they did in that noise. Even if they screamed like Banshees. He fought the urge to try, because she would hear him, and no doubt think he had finally lost his mind. Or was about to lose his life. He didn't want to worry her, he had hurt her enough. More than enough.
His heart screamed all the time what his voice couldn't, forming words that needed to be said.
I WANT. I want so much that I can't think of anything else.
The investigation had distracted him nicely during the day, and he almost felt himself again, cool and composed, enjoying what he did. The confusion Lorelei had… no. he didn't want to think about her. She had messed with his mind like a player, and in the end betrayed him so bitterly he couldn't believe what a fool he'd been.
He had told Lisbon that he trusted Lorelei. And he'd been wrong. He'd hurt Lisbon for a scam. Lisbon, who had always been by his side, who loved him for what he was. Despite all the ugliness he had shown over the years. The dark bruises which tainted his soul.
She had suffered for him. And he had believed in Lorelei instead, had hoped that she would be the key to his revenge. He'd been a fool, and Lorelei had been as well.
Lisbon alone had become reason enough not to repeat Lorelei's mistake. After years so close to suicidal thoughts, he wanted to live now, wanted to live in every form possible, body, mind, soul, soaring in perfect unison, woken by the rare touch of love.
She loved him. He had seen it. It had scared him, but it had worked inside of him like a spell.
I can't think of anything else.
Come here, please, Lisbon. Come here.
She wasn't asleep, he knew it, could feel her in the dark, as if their minds were in sync, forever inseparable.
He tried to define the sounds he was hearing. Orders. Steps. There- was that a tent flap? Hers?
His heart started beating wildly, it was almost funny.
He could see the silhouette of her tiny frame right inside the entrance, could feel her stare, trying to see if he was awake. The tents were big enough to stand upright in, and he wasn't sleeping on the ground but on a low cot about as wide as his makeshift bed in the attic. He could make room for her without problems. But he took care not to make a move, afraid he would scare her away.
Come here, little one. Do what you WANT.
She loved him. He would never forget her eyes, wet from uncried tears, for him, the most worthless vermin that crawled the earth. She deserved so much better than this. And still he had seen that it was him who had the choice here- make her as happy as he could, or crush this precious love. She would love him no matter what he did. And he could never extinguish the light of hope inside her gaze.
He wouldn't. Ever. His heart burning with almost violent love for her.
"Hey, Lisbon," he drawled, "can't sleep? Me neither. Come here, we can keep each other company."
He saw her hesitate. She wore the same clothes he wore- tight fitting boxers and an olive-green T-shirt, hers several sizes too big. The sleepover had been unexpected, so the army had provided them the nightwear.
"Jane…" Lisbon whispered, her beloved voice wrapping around his heart like a silken scarf, "I…I don't…"
Jane didn't even need to put the question in his mind into actual words- he decided on instinct. AGGRESSIVE SEDUCTION. She wouldn't leave his tent before she was his.
He opened his sleeping-bag and scooted over, making enough room for his small partner.
"Don't be scared," he whispered, "just come here."
She pouted slightly. Sweet, adorable pout. Thinking about his offer. Jane scooted over just a little more. She worried her lower lip for a few seconds before she sighed and started to approach him. Slowly at first. Then faster.
She slid into his sleeping back, her bare legs were cool against his, so he pulled her close, her body tiny and firm, squirming slightly. He was surprised, so much his breath caught in his throat, when she pushed her hand beneath his shirt, gently raking her fingernails over his stomach. His muscles twitched. Her hand brushed against his rock-hard erection, but she didn't pull back. She simply continued caressing him, while he could feel his pre-cum wetting her hand with every movement. He almost died from arousal.
"What are you wearing?" she asked softly, and he could hear the sweet smile in her voice.
"The same as you," he smiled, "do I look good?"
"Of course."
They looked at each other for a second, and he saw the insecurity in her eyes melt into iron resolve. She brushed her fingers over his cheek and nodded imperceptibly, and he nodded back, knowing his biggest wish would be granted. Excitement and relief made his skin prickle.
She pushed his boxers down and wrapped her hand around his cock, he could feel himself pulsating against her palm. She couldn't span his girth, but her sure, firm rubbing was enough to get him close to coming in seconds.
He wanted to watch her, the purse of her lips, the dark curls framing her face, her eyes ocean-deep, glistening with moisture, longing, feeling, but his eyes fluttered shut, the sensations tearing at his nerves.
She massaged him from tip to base and let her free hand slide around his balls, gently pushing his buttons like a boss. He could sense that she was looking at his face intently, but he couldn't open his eyes, his whole body clenching in pleasure.
He found her mouth blindly, lips so soft and sweet it gripped him like a seizure, he hadn't kissed like that in a decade, without reserve, giving free reins to the feelings inside of him, light and dark, desire and protectiveness a perfect blend that drove him wild. He tasted his future, the hope he still had, all for her, because of her, and it almost felt strange to trust so fully, to crack open the stony layer he had built around his soul.
It was her taste and the sweetness of her kiss that undid him.
Ecstasy rose like a foamy flood inside him, his groans getting louder and louder, and still she rubbed him as if she meant it, her grip firm and dedicated. He grabbed her wrist when he simply couldn't take it anymore, release so close it was tickling his senses.
She released him, and he opened his eyes. She was so beautiful. Tiny, strong, a little fairy. He knew their eyes said nothing but the truth, they always had, even when their mouths had been denying incessantly.
"Put me wherever you want me." He breathed.
She wriggled out of the boxers and pulled the shirt over her head, he was frozen for a second, pale, creamy skin, freckled at the shoulders, so hot it seared his soul. He barely managed to take off his own clothes, his hands trembled so bad.
He felt as shy as a schoolboy when he rolled himself on top of her, but Lisbon spurred him on, wrapping her legs high around his waist to pull him closer. Her skin felt like warm silk everywhere, he shuddered with delight, she was as close as he'd always wanted her, her fingers touching him in places that made him squirm with desire.
She whispered his name, rolling the vowels on her tongue, until he leaned down and kissed her again, claiming her lips like a prize he needed to have. She opened her mouth for him, wrapped her tongue around his until he wanted to scream with lust, her taste perfect and unique, made to delight him. He didn't doubt it would become better and better every time he tried it, until he would be hopelessly lost, her slave.
For a moment he was scared, what was he risking here, he was already much too vulnerable to her wishes, he would never… but a look into her liquid eyes told him all he had to know. His trust was as save as a pirate's treasure inside her heart, she would never betray him, and that was worth any price.
When she finally wrapped her hand around his cock and placed the leaking tip against her sex, moist, swollen, primed for his first thrust, he roared like a wildcat, the sound erupting deep inside his chest.
"Mine." He growled.
"Hell yes," she whispered, and he pushed hard and deep in a single, endless stroke.
Xxxxxxxxxx
She couldn't stop the scream that was wrenched from her throat, Jane's hardness slicing through confines which seemed too tight and still made for him, his to take and work, wet and ready for his possession.
When she looked at him, he seemed almost in shock for a moment, eyes wide open, a little feverish, his flushed lips parted. She tightened the hold of her legs around his waist, the involuntary moves of his cock deep inside of her making her groan, shake in his arms, she let her eyes speak, urged him to let it all go. Another being seemed to grab her, wanton, too hot to touch, existing only in her love for him. She'd never felt like this, and she wouldn't regret one second.
She almost cried out in joy when she saw Jane's gaze dissolve in molten lust, getting darker and darker, and she smiled a wild smile, welcoming the beast like a gift she had craved.
"I want to fuck you so hard it hurts." He growled, and her smile deepened because it was still his voice, beloved voice, saying the words she had heard in her dreams.
"Yes," she mouthed, the hiss fizzing on her lips, she licked at them, pushed her hips upwards, his excruciating hardness surging inside of her.
It touched regions that never had been taken before.
Take me, her mind screamed at him. Take me hard.
Jane pulled back, the ridges of his hard-on rubbing over frayed nerves, making her shriek with pleasure. She wouldn't survive this, and what a way to go.
When he slammed back inside she came in an instant, and heavens, it hurt, so good, so deep, the steel of his erection pounding into her at frantic speed.
Her fingers curled into his forearms, the touch heightening the sensations, his skin, his smell, his taste when she pressed her lips against his neck as soon as he leaned down a bit. She shook all over, her internal muscles clenching around his cock as if they wanted to strangle him, Jane's words taking on a life of their own, his voice trembling and firm at the same time.
"Mine, Teresa. I want to burn my name into everything I can reach. I want to get harder for you, larger for you, give you more, more. Just don't leave me, don't let me get cold, never, never, never…. Mine. Scream for me, please."
She did, couldn't have stopped if her life had depended on it, her cries filling the air like a mantra while her whole body bounced under his vigorous thrusts, again, again, deleting past and pain, framing her being into something new.
"Play with me." He growled into her ear, and insane laughter bubbled up inside of her.
She was game. She had been for years.
Xxxxxxxxxx
He knew she had understood when he slid out of her and she immediately scooted down, turning him onto his back before she gently kissed his shaft, which almost seemed to expand against her lips.
In a second, he felt as if he were truly losing his mind. Lisbon didn't give head like most women did, ruthlessly aiming for their goal, eager to get it over with, make the guy happy enough to grant them their fill afterwards. Lisbon truly savored this, slowly, cruelly, and she wouldn't be rushed to give him an orgasm.
She licked and sucked with her eyes closed, working his hard flesh as if it were ice cream, her delighted moans sending tremors of arousal through his system while his desire ate him alive. But Jane was good at enjoying things aimlessly, just for what they were, so he freed his mind and lived inside the ecstasy Lisbon's sweet lips provided, groaning like a beast every time the fire exploded in his veins.
"Yes, my sweet," he crooned, "play with me. Make me squirm, make me beg for more… make me cry, please."
She looked at him, with those huge, jewel-like eyes that could mesmerize him every time he looked at her, even in the middle of a demanding investigation.
He giggled like a child when she dug her naughty tongue into a ticklish spot and pushed his hands into her hair, but in no way to direct her movements. He had no interest in fucking her mouth, he just wrapped the long, glossy strands around his fingers and let his moans get out of control, felt her swallow him whole, her tongue massaging the pulsating veins on his cock. He let the sensations rise until it really, really hurt, his whole body feeling electrified, her soft sucking taking the last of his sanity. And then he begged, begged as if his life depended on it.
"Please, Teresa! Please finish me off. Let me spill my seed inside your mouth and I swear I'll fuck you so hard you can't walk for a week- I'll make you flaming sore as soon as I'm ready again. Please!"
She released him, her tongue dancing on the tip of his cock, sending delirious seizures through his body, his stomach muscles clenching hard in anticipation. Her eyes were glistening with excitement, arousal, and at the same time watching him intently, drinking his desperate ecstasy like a heady potion.
"Deal," she breathed and took him into her mouth so deep he had no idea where in hell she put him.
A single suck made him get off like a rocket, in a fiery shower of stars, exploding, burning, his seed bursting like a flash flood, ripped from his body, shooting into her mouth. With a satisfied hum she let her head fall back, he could see the swallowing motions of her throat through a layer of tears, saw her eyes closed in bliss, long lashes fanned out on her pale skin. She drank his seed with a joy that couldn't be faked, and he felt blessed, blessed that she wanted him so much, despite everything he had done. He didn't deserve her one bit. But he couldn't let another one have her. No way.
She licked him clean after she released him, and her lips were so intent and sweet and hot that he was hard again when she was finished. She crawled on all fours until she lay down on her stomach right on top of him, shoving her hands into his hair before she kissed him, softly, playfully, making him grope for her lips when he lost contact for a second. She toyed with him like a little kitten, and he let her with a sweet grin, growling in pleasure when his renewed erection started to pulsate against her flat stomach.
His hands glided over her skin, smooth, hot with arousal, shivering for his touch, for him.
"Mine?" he whispered, and this time, he let the question be heard.
He needed her. At his side, in his life, his bed. Filling his head, his soul, his heart, everything he was, to shield him from the dark that always threatened to consume him. But mostly he needed her just for herself, because she had made him love again. Had given him back life's essence, a sense. He was still worthy in her eyes, and that was all he wanted to know.
"You know I am," she whispered against his lips, "I will kick your butt if you step over the line- but I will still be yours."
He chuckled softly, so relieved it felt as if his insides were melting.
"I love you, Teresa. I really, really love you. So much. I can't say how much."
She smiled then, a smile so pure and clear it made him teary. His tough little princess with the golden heart.
"And I love you, Patrick."
It was a vow and a promise, they were companions, partners, their love tying a unity that wouldn't be severed. He would fight for it. To his last breath. Against Red John and all the other forces of evil that dared to threaten them.
"Where do you want me?" He breathed hoarsely, following every word with a gentle kiss on her lips.
"Inside me. Stay true to your promise, Jane. Make me really, really sore."
Jane purred like a big cat and gently pushed her off his chest, making sure she came to lie on her stomach. She looked glorious, flushed, hot, well-loved. He covered her body with his, pressing his chest against her slim back, pushing her hair aside to shower her neck and shoulders with kisses. He grinned when she growled a little, clearly wanting something else from him right now.
"You wanna get fucked hard, Teresa?"
She groaned.
"God, yes."
He reached down and spread her legs with one hand, his grip hard enough to make her shiver with delight. He pushed two fingers into her, making it three when she pushed against his hand, although they hardly fit inside her. Damn she was tight, her walls stretching snugly around his intruding digits, but she pressed closer, impaling herself, her back arching in pleasure.
"You're wet to your knees," he groaned, "naughty little Agent Lisbon needs to be filled, as it seems."
"Not only filled," she whispered hoarsely, looking at him over her shoulder, "banged hard. Now."
Her sultry voice did something to him that was almost scary in its intensity.
Lust roared like wildfire, coloring the world bright red.
He wrapped his hands around her waist with near-bruising strength and pulled her onto all fours, shivering when she twisted her torso so that she could look at him, her body was lithe, graceful, perfect, she put her free hand on her thigh to spread her sex for him. It looked unbelievably soft and rosy, the moisture of her arousal trickling down her legs. He couldn't resist and pushed his fingers back inside, widening her gently and to absolutely no avail, drinking in her shudders and groans, how her eyes fluttered shut as desire overwhelmed her. When he replaced his fingers with the tip of his cock, he could already feel her sheath clenching in near-release.
The stretching sensation had to be murderous for her, and this time, he could actually watch, watch the first inch pushing inside, dilating this pillow-soft tissue until it didn't seem able to go any further.
Damn. He would have stopped if Lisbon hadn't moaned in obvious bliss, her whole body trembling with anticipation, her small hips moving to get closer, make him shove his cock deeper. And of course, he had already been inside her once, and although she was by far the tiniest woman he had ever taken, she had come like a fiend from his penetration alone. He smiled a shaky smile. Agent Lisbon liked a hard ride.
He pushed deeper, just another inch, but Lisbon squirmed inside his grip, demanding his whole length. Jane looked down. It was unbelievable how wide she was stretched around his shaft. And the sensations of her tight walls hugging him drove him insane.
"Uh-oh," he whispered, "looks like Agent Lisbon is just too small for her consultant's cock. But believe me- I don't care."
He impaled her with one single stroke, thrusting so deep he could actually feel himself hitting her cervix, but Lisbon came almost immediately, her sheath constricting so hard he saw stars. He went crazy, establishing a fast, hard rhythm, ramming his length inside her over and over again, his breath escaping in wild bursts until he felt dizzy with lust and his own delirious pleasure. Lisbon came relentlessly, he could feel her body coiling, exploding, her screams echoing around him, spurring him on.
God, she felt wonderful, this was just how he'd always wanted her, quaking under his thrusts, coming on his erection, accepting him as hers. Her skin reddened under his punishing strokes, his hips slamming against her buttocks again, again, his cock thrusting into the heat of her swollen flesh, giving her more, more, until he could hardly breathe from the ecstasy.
Through the haze of delirious bliss he felt his balls drawing close to his body, ready to shoot their load, but he managed to fight the urge back for now, not ready to give up the delicious friction Lisbon's body provided.
He leaned into every thrust to make it deeper, more intense, mind-blowing, the wet slapping of writhing bodies loud in the silence around them, their groans getting more frantic by the second. Jane never slowed down, his body working with machine-like precision, pounding into her with relentless energy. When she came again, she came so hard she was practically milking him dry. His seed was wrenched from his body in large, sharp spurts that filled her up in seconds, and still he kept thrusting, spreading his semen everywhere until it ran down her legs in rivulets.
Jane couldn't stop, the sensation of ejaculating had never been like this, his stomach muscles contracting hard every time he expelled a new spurt, his hands clenching around Lisbon's waist to hold her in place, make her take it. He finally wrapped her hair around his hand and pulled her up, gripping her chin roughly to make her turn her head, look at him so he could claim her lips while he emptied the last jets of seed into her body.
When he was finished he felt decidedly weak in the knees, but just couldn't bring himself to let her go. So he held her close to his body, his lips caressing her neck, her shoulders, while she kept her face turned towards him, gently nuzzling his hair, his cheek.
"Are you alright?" He asked after a while, and her answering smile soothed his heart.
"More than that." She whispered.
He felt wounded and sad all of a sudden, inadequate, unworthy and low.
"I don't deserve you, Teresa. I knew how much I hurt you when I looked into your eyes, and I did nothing to make it any better. What if it'll be like that again and again?"
"I'd still love you."
He felt close to tears when he hadn't in years, and lowered his head in shame. It was almost ironic that only a woman like Lisbon would be able to truly love him, someone so pure and honest he had to be unworthy of her, had to hurt her again and again. That he had found someone like that not once, but twice, was a miracle.
He slid out of her reluctantly and lay down on the small cot, pulling Lisbon on top of him. He was enormously exhausted all of a sudden, so close to sleep his eyelids were drooping.
"You weren't in love with Lorelei, were you?"
"No." he whispered. "I loved the chance she presented, to get rid of Red John once and for all. But I trusted her- that's bad enough. I should have known better. And I should never have hurt you because of her. I should have honored what I feel for you, Lisbon. At all costs. I didn't- and I can't even promise you that I will next time I get close to Red John. You should walk away, Teresa. As far away from me as you can. But letting you go would kill me, so I can't do it. If I lose love again, I'm finished, and Red John walks. Do you see how schizophrenic all of this is?"
She kissed his lips, gentle and playful, the sweetest lullaby of all.
"You know I wouldn't leave you anyway," she breathed into his mouth, "I love you."
"I love you, too," he whispered, "please, Teresa, don't doubt it. I'm just damaged beyond redemption… so I will hurt you despite my love."
She shook her head.
"Let's work on this, okay? There's time. I can't be happy without you anyway. I choose you. I'll always do."
He kissed her again, deeper, his tongue playing with hers for a while, sampling her taste, sucking it into his essence.
He grabbed the blanket and covered them both with it, making sure she was warm and comfortable before he closed his eyes. He would take her to an expensive hotel tomorrow, spoil her senseless while the storm wasn't raging.
He would find Red John. Bring him down. And then, he would allow himself to heal. To become a man who would never hurt Lisbon again.
Her breathing slowed down, her body wrapped around his, and he felt warmer than he ever had since he'd walked alone. But he wasn't alone any longer. And he understood that healing had already begun, long before this night, every time she had accepted him, loved him the way he was.
To the sound of the training forces in the distance, he confessed his love for Teresa Lisbon again, knowing that in her dreams, she would hear him.
She always had.
THE END
Okay… how bad was that? Sorry, I got a little carried away, and it might be about as confusing as my thoughts and feels about 5x16… But maybe Lorelei is purged from my system now- though I still can't believe that she's dead! I hope you liked this a little bit and come back for more- believe me: I'm not AVOIDING plot, it avoids me! As soon as it's approaching me again (my guess: hiatus)- I'M READY!