Author's note (PLEASE READ!): No, I didn't find any of this on YouTube or anything like that. This is all from my head.
The robots are going to be talking in code which would look like this when they are talking. The humans understand them.
There will be two types of dividers. One divider occurs when they switch scenes. They look like the traditional line. The other divider only appears when everyone is getting back into their places, but sticking with the same scene. It looks like this:
O.O.O
Also, I'm just going to say "the director" instead of his actual name.
Disclaimer: I do not own WALL-E or any of its characters.
"Action!"
WALL-E rolled past a can on the ground. Once out of view of the camera, he turned around, expecting to see Hal scuttling after him, but the roach was nowhere to be seen. WALL-E whistled to get Hal's attention. Hal crawled out of the can, chirping as if to say "sorry."
"Cut!"
O.O.O
"Action!"
Once again WALL-E rolled past the same can. This time, Hal came out. He started chirping excitedly.
"Cut! Hal, you're supposed to chirp once!"
Hal let out another chirp as if to say, "sorry again."
"Let's just move on to the next scene, and come back to this one," the director announced.
"Action!"
WALL-E went over to the toaster and pushed up the tab. There was a sproing, but no cassette came out.
"Cut! Where is the cassette tape?!"
The director turned to see a snickering M-O.
"M-O, what did you do with the cassette tape?"
I may or may not have removed the tape when no one was looking for a prank.
The director sighs. "Give me the cassette tape."
M-O hands him the cassette tape, still snickering.
WALL-E glared at M-O. I'm going to get you for this.
You do that.
Oh, I will.
O.O.O
"Action!"
WALL-E once again pushed up the tab and pulled out the cassette tape. He went over to his iPod, slipped in the cassette in the cassette player and clicked "play."
"Born of cold and winter air and mountain rain combining"
Aaaargh! WALL-E screamed Not Frozen! Anything but Frozen!
"CUT!" The director shouted. "M-O!"
What?
The director sighed. "Let's just move on."
Now I'm really going to get you for this. WALL-E grumbled.
Okay. M-O said, casually.
Author's note: Yes! I am aware Frozen came out after WALL-E! I don't care. I just couldn't think of a more annoying musical. (No offense, Frozen fans.)
After that scene was finally shot, everyone moved outside.
"Action!"
WALL-E was dumping out his BnL cooler. He pressed the play button on his chest
"Let it goooo, let it goooooo!"
"CUT! M-O!"
The Microbe Obliterator held up his cleaning brush defensively. It wasn't me this time, I swear!
The director looked at M-O's face and was able to tell he was serious.
"Okay, then who was it?!" the director asked getting angrier.
It was me.
Everyone turned in shock to see who said that.
It was WALL-E.
"But why? asked the director.
I knew M-O would get blamed. WALL-E said cheerfully.
You're evil. M-O grumbled.
We're still uneven, though. WALL-E pointed out.
Oh, goody. M-O said sarcastically, dreading what WALL-E might do next.
The director sighed. "Let's do it again."
Everyone got back into their positions.
O.O.O
"Action!"
WALL-E dumped out his cooler and pressed the play button. "It only takes a moment started to play. Then the sandstorm alarm went off. WALL-E looked a the set's horizon - only to see nothing.
"Cut! Where's the sandstorm? What's going on?"
Gopher, who was in charge of the mechanical props, was busy untangling himself from the wires of the sandstorm machine. Sorry, sir. We're currently having some technical difficulties.
The director sighed. "Let's just shoot the next scene."
Everyone was on the set for EVE's arrival.
"Action!"
The mechanical arm reached out and punched a few buttons on EVE's capsule. Everyone expected for the capsule to split in half, revealing EVE, but it didn't happen. Inside the capsule, EVE opened an eye.
Umm, guys?! Why am I not out yet?
Sorry, EVE. said the mechanical arm I think I accidentally punched in the wrong code.
"Cut!"
Once EVE was out of the capsule and did her flying performance after the ship left, it was time for the scene with WALL-E behind the boulder.
"Action!"
"Oooh... Oop!" WALL-E cried out when he "accidentally" dislodged a pebble.
EVE spun around and pulled the trigger of her ion cannon. Nothing happened. She tried again. Still nothing. She pulled and pulled and pulled. She even gave her cannon a little shake before pulling the trigger again. Nothing.
I think it's jammed.
"Cut!"
O.O.O
Aaand got it. Gopher said as he finished tweaking the ion cannon. He handed it back to EVE. Good luck.
Thanks. It's a shame you're playing a villain, you and Auto, but you're good at it, y'know? EVE said as she reattached her cannon.
Yeah...
O.O.O
"Action!"
EVE pulled the trigger. Out blasted a puff of glitter. What the-?
"Cut! Who loaded the gun with glitter, M-O?"
Why'd you assume it was me?! It wasn't!
"Okay. WALL-E?"
Wasn't me.
The director just got more confused than angry. "EVE?"
Nope. Not me.
"Well, then who was it?
Me. Gopher said shyly.
The director forced himself to stay calm.
"Okay. Why?"
Well, I added a "Party" setting for when we finish filming. I guess I forgot to switch the settings back.
"Your intention," the director started, still forcing himself to stay calm. "was good. But it could've waited. Let's just move on." I swear, I feel like I am working with children. the director thought to himself.
Everyone was back inside the trailer. I was time for WALL-E to reveal the plant to EVE.
"Action!"
WALL-E went digging through the shelves. He braced himself for the drum to hit his head, but it didn't happen.
He looked up. Where's the drum? he wondered aloud.
"Cut!"
As soon as the director said this, the drum rolled off the shelf and bounced off of WALL-E's head.
The director rolled his eyes. Of course, he thought.
Everyone went back outside to film the scene when WALL-E went to rescue EVE but had to tell Hal to stay.
"Action!"
Go! Go! WALL-E snapped, shooing his cockroach up the ramp. Sit! WALL-E commanded when they got to the top. Hal sat obediently. WALL-E turned around and raced back down the ramp. Hal stood up and followed him.
"Cut! Let's try it again!"
O.O.O
"Action!"
Go! Go! WALL-E snapped, shooing his cockroach up the ramp. Sit! WALL-E commanded when they got to the top. Hal sat obediently. Stay! WALL-E added. Then he turned around and raced back down the ramp.
"Cut! WALL-E, you're not supposed to say, 'Stay!' Just 'Sit!' Got it?"
Yes, sir...
The director sighed. "Let's try it again."
After that, it was time for the docking scene.
"Action!"
M-O and the rest of the cleaning crew did their jobs. Everything was going smoothly - until WALL-E decided to get even with M-O. When the part when WALL-E wiped dirt on M-O's face came, WALL-E turned around and left. M-O tilted his head in confusion.
When WALL-E came back, he was holding a bucket.
What's that fo- M-O got cut off when WALL-E dumped the bucket onto his head. It turned out the bucket was filled with the one thing M-O hated more than anything: mud.
M-O screamed and violently shook the bucket off. WALL-E laughed. The mud-caked M-O turned to WALL-E and glared at him with hatred in his yellow eyes.
Author's note: I regret to inform you that due to the rating, I cannot publish M-O's reaction. What he says is so horrible that it might traumatize young viewers. Thank you for understanding. Please stand by and we'll be back momentarily.
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...
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...
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...
And we're back.
After M-O cursed WALL-E out, he finally settled down. Everyone was staring at M-O with wide eyes.
Are you done? WALL-E asked.
Yes. M-O spat angrily.
"WALL-E. Why did you do that?" the director asked.
We're in the middle of a fight.
"Please save it for later."
Yes, sir. WALL-E and M-O said in unison.
"Good. If either of you behaves like this again, then you will get cut from the movie." The director felt like a father scolding his children.
I'm going to get you for that. Off the set, of course. M-O said to WALL-E.
But we're even now! You removed the cassette earlier, knowing I might get blamed and then you replaced the cassette with Frozen because you know it gets on my nerves. Then I recorded Let it Go when no one was listening, knowing you would get blamed for it and then I dumped a bucket of mud on you. WALL-E reasoned.
Touché...
It was then the director realized something. He slowly turned to the cameraman.
He had filmed the whole thing.
"CUT!" the director shrieked.
Soon it was time to film Auto's first scene.
"Action!"
Auto descended down into McCrea's room. "Captain. You are needed on the bridge." He shot back up into the ceiling.
McCrea's alarm went off and his hit the alarm instead of WALL-E's recorder.
"Cut! McCrea, you were supposed to hit WALL-E's dashboard."
"Sorry, sir."
What is with everyone today? the director thought.
"Action!"
The lights went out and a Holo-screen appeared. Expecting to see Shelby Forthright's message, everyone on set turned to it - only to see a video of a kitten and puppy frolicking in a field.
"Awww!" WALL-E, EVE, and McCrea said in unison.
Huh? Auto said.
Aw, crap... Gopher murmered.
"Cut! Gopher!"
Sorry...
It was time to film the scene when it was revealed the plant went missing.
"Action!"
A mechanical arm descended and opened up EVE's plant compartment. Inside sat the plant. EVE reacted the way she was supposed to. Why's the plant still in here?! she cried.
Darn it! I forgot to take it out! Gopher scolded himself.
"Cut!"
O.O.O
Once the plant was taken care of, everyone tried again.
"Action!"
This time, everything went according to plan. Until -
"Where's the - the - hmm... Line!"
"Thingy," said the director.
"Thingy. Right. That's a weird word. Thingy."
"Cut!"
In the repair ward...
"Action!"
A mechanical arm descended and detached EVE's ion cannon.
KA-BLAM!
Crap... the mechanical arm droned.
"Cut!"
"Action!"
WALL-E rushed to the glass door. He intended to break the glass, but instead, he bounced off it like a tennis ball, falling flat on his back. Everyone gasped.
WALL-E, are you okay?! EVE called.
Yeah, I'm fine.
"Cut!"
O.O.O
"Action!"
WALL-E rushed to the glass. But he panicked and slammed on the breaks. He screeched to a halt about an inch away from the glass.
"WALL-E, what are you doing?" The director asked.
I can't do it again. I just can't...
"Fine. BRING IN THE STUNT DOUBLE!"
"Stunt double?" Everyone echoed in unison.
I have a stunt double?! WALL-E asked.
"Yes."
Umm, did you call 'Cut!' yet? EVE asked.
"Oh! Thanks for reminding me. Cut!"
The stunt double took care of the scene and it was time for the scene in the elevator.
"Action!"
WALL-E and EVE expected for the screen to show the "Rogue Robots" image but instead, they got the "Let it Go" music video.
Angrily, WALL-E grabbed EVE's ion cannon and blasted the screen. EVE yelped in surprise.
"Cut!"
WALL-E glared at M-O.
M-O returned the glare and said, What, you think I did that?!
Yes.
Well, it wasn't me. It was probably Gopher.
The director facepalmed.
Outside in space...
"Okay! Let's see that kiss! Action!"
SMACK!
Ow... WALL-E moaned.
Sorry. Did I press against your head too hard? EVE asked worriedly.
"Cut!"
In McCrea's room...
"Action!"
"Define 'Hoedown!'" the Captain commanded the computer.
Auto descended from the ceiling. What did you just call the computer?
Everyone laughed.
"Cut!"
O.O.O
"Action!"
"Define 'Hoedown!'" the Captain commanded the computer.
Hoedown - a woman with an obsession with carnal knowledge that has fallen on the pavement.
"Cut!"
BURN-E's little scene...
"Action!"
EVE flew through the door, but it didn't close.
"Cut!"
Behind the towel rack...
"Action!"
WALL-E pressed a button on the dashboard.
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
WALL-E screamed.
"Cut!"
Inside McCrea's room, EVE was watching her security footage from Earth.
"Action!"
WALL-E! EVE gasped and she turned around.
She started toward the trash chute but crashed into Auto.
Argh! The two robots cried in unison.
"Cut!"
Before we begin this, can I ask you something?
The director sighed. "What is it, WALL-E?"
Do I have to get tased? Why not the stunt double?
"Fine."
Once that was taken care of, they filmed the garbage air-lock scene and it was time to film the scene when WALL-E, EVE, and M-O emerged from the trash chute.
"Action!"
M-O jumped out of the trash chute.
"Cut! Where are WALL-E and EVE?"
M-O shrugged. I was inside the trash chute set piece without them and I was wondering where they were. Then I heard you call "Action" and I figured I might as well just jump out like I'm supposed to.
At that moment, they heard strange noises coming from inside one of the rooms. The director yanked open the door -
And caught WALL-E and EVE red-handed making out. The two robots froze mid-kiss, looked at each other, looked at the director, and bolted out.
The director could do nothing but sigh and facepalm.
Time has passed and it was time to film the scene with passing the plant to the holo-detector
"Action!"
BRL-A launched the plant up. EVE reached up to catch it - and missed.
"Cut!"
O.O.O
"Action!"
BRL-A threw the plant. EVE missed it again.
Darn it!
"Cut!"
O.O.O
Okay, third times the charm. EVE thought to herself.
"Action!"
BRL-A launched the plant. EVE reached up to catch it. She caught it, but her fingers slipped and she dropped it.
DARN IT! EVE yelled angrily.
"Cut!"
Inside WALL-E's trailer, EVE was about to turn on Hello Dolly! in hope of jogging WALL-E's memory. At least, WALL-E will pretend to forget.
"Action!"
EVE pressed play.
Oh, Anna. If only there was someone out there who loved you.
SERIOUSLY?! EVE and WALL-E yelled in unison.
"Cut! M-O!"
Why are ya blaming me?! Even I'm ready to admit the joke is getting old!
"Well, then who was it?"
"Me," said McCrea.
"WHY?!" everyone shouted.
I didn't get a chance to prank anyone yet!"
Everyone groaned.
"And cut! Okay, people and bots! That's a wrap!"
Everyone cheered. WALL-E pressed a button on his dashboard and Down to Earth started playing. Everyone started dancing. EVE shot off her ion cannon and made sure she had it on the "Party Setting" from earlier. Everyone had a ball.
THE END
Wow! That's gotta be my longest one-shot yet! And, again, I apologize Frozen fans.