Blue. Lost in blue. Can't stop thinking about blue eyes.
No, must not think of him.
Cannot love him, unattainable, unreachable, too good for me.
Angel, not a human, impossible to love.
He is pure, I am filth, not worthy.
Stop, stop, stop, have to stop thinking of blue.
Distractions, women, bars, familiar and safe.
Drink to forget, flirt to forget, but still remember blue.
Anger and denial, must not give in.
Fight fight fight.
He appears, engulfed by blue, pure angelic, piercing blue.
Beauty, and utter perfection.
Desire, need, love.
Lose the fight.
Tell him, must tell him.
Says, "Like a brother, like family."
No, no, no!
Thinks, "Like a bestfriend, like a lover."
Want to love him, want to have him, want, want, want.
The angel.
My angel.
Castiel.