More to life than this
A/N: I don't own Glee. If I did, Mark Salling would probably sing most of the leads, and would also likely be shirtless. And of course, Puckleberry would be endgame. Set during "Original Song"
From Tumblr: If you don't, I'll definitely go find someone who will. I'm not willing to sit here anymore and move aside whatever the hell I wanna do because the person I want to share those moments with isn't down for the ride. If that's your choice, that's fine. I'll go find someone who's down for whatever I'm interested in.
They won. Regionals. They were going to New York City! Amidst the cheer and the excitement from her teammates and Mr. Schuester, Rachel Berry chanced a glance at the one boy who has consistently managed to break her heart. All she ever wanted was to be wanted—accepted—and to let her bright star shine through. And they did it; she did it with a song that she wrote…for the boy who was meant to be the lead male in the movie that was her life. Heck, if she was being really honest with herself, she just wants to be the lead character in the movie of her own life. But there she was, the supporting actress in her very own high-school drama, that starred a conflicted gorgeous, blonde head cheerleader and her adorable, giant of a quarterback boyfriend. Rachel watched as Quinn Fabray launched herself into Finn Hudson's arms, every bit of the perfect couple that they were. And she held back the tears that she swore she would no longer cry.
Suddenly she was broken out of her reverie when someone pulled her into his arms and whirled her around. Noah Puckerman lifted her in his arms, and she couldn't help but laugh at the boy whom she had formed a pseudo-friendship with (no matter how much he denies it).
"You fuckin' did it, B! We're going to nationals!" whispered his gruff baritone, as he set her back on her feet, never once letting go.
"Unhand me, you heathen!" she said laughing at this boy, whom she'd known her entire life, but never really quite knew at all, "I can't believe this is really happening, Noah!"
He didn't say anything in response, he simply pressed a kiss on her forehead and gave her shoulder a small squeeze, before he walked away to congratulate their other team members. Still, Rachel couldn't help the smile that lit up her face when he did. Noah is her friend now. And as she moved towards her friends who were calling her name, grabbing, and hugging her, she knew that maybe—just maybe—she would be okay without Finn Hudson.
"You killed it, diva!" squealed Kurt with Blaine in tow, making a beeline towards her. And Rachel squealed back as she was sandwiched between both boys. And as Mercedes and Tina joined in and squished her some more, she figured out that this must be what having friends feel like. And before she knew it, she was being lifted up onto the shoulders of a blond Justin Bieber and Mike Chang. Even Santana and Brittany joined in cheering for their tiny diva.
And when the celebration was over, and the Glee Club gathered their belongings from the dressing room and headed straight for the bus that was waiting to take them back to McKinley, Rachel moved extra slow and was the last person in the dressing room. She peered at her reflection in the mirror, a bittersweet satisfaction settling in her stomach, knowing she had proved her detractors wrong once again, without ever really proving anything at all.
Finn was looking for Rachel, almost everyone was already on the bus, but she wasn't there. He had been waiting to talk to her and congratulate her since they were declared the winners of Regionals. He stepped into the dresser and cleared his throat, startling her.
"Oh, Finn…" Rachel said hastily, packing the last of her belongings in her bag, "I didn't realize you were still here… I was just…leaving…I…"
"Rachel…" He said sheepishly, as he stepped towards her, trying to be gentle and composed, but always, always failing to do so, "I've been looking for you. To congratulate you. Us. All of us!"
"We did it, Finn. We're going to Nationals! And it's so exciting, I…It's everything I've dreamed of since I was a little girl. To go to New York City and sing and be a star, everyone would know my name, they would…everyone would love me…" Rachel told him, beaming despite the gaping hole in her heart, as he moved closer.
"Your song…it was beautiful, Rachel."
"And as I told you before, I meant every single word, Finn."
"I know that this is, difficult, for you…to accept. But it's difficult for me too! Quinn and me, I don't think I ever truly got over her, but I…You have to know…what I felt when we kissed it wasn't fireworks…"
"We've already discussed this, Finn. You've already made it perfectly clear that I am no Quinn Fabray," she told him, surprised by the venom seeping into her voice as she stepped towards him. How dare he try to put a damper on this happy occasion!
"No, I—what I mean to say is that, with you, it was different. It's a slow burn and it stays there with me for a long time…but I just…I'm just so confused right now, Rachel. Please don't misunderstand."
"I understand perfectly, Finn Hudson, that you will always be confused. We only work when you want me but you can't have me. You can never just want to be with me!" She said, fighting the urge to stomp her foot, and fighting the urge to just beat him with her fists.
"Don't be like that, Rachel," Finn said quietly, as his mind started going into overdrive. How can he explain this to her, in words that she could understand? This is all I'll ever be. You are bigger than me, and Lima and these people and this state. And all I'll have is McKinley High School and glory days, and you will have Broadway and adoring fans. He couldn't bring himself to tell her, had no real words to describe what he felt.
"Like what? You always wanted me to change to fit into the mold that is McKinley High School, you always questioned me and…and…was embarrassed by me. God! I turned into this, self-deprecating mask of myself! For you!" she could no longer hold back the tears, "I…I refuse to fit into that mold. I tried and I failed. I can't seem to get this whole thing right and I am tired, Finn."
She grabbed her bag and headed straight towards the exit, with Finn trailing behind her like a lost puppy. But she could feel it, under her skin, boiling in her stomach. The end. The end that she had dreaded and denied for so long.
"Rachel, wait—please!"
She turned around and looked at him, at this boy who would probably always pick Quinn over her. Whom she would embarrass, with her short skirts and animal sweaters, and knee socks and her music and gift of song. Maybe, Quinn Fabray actually had a point. They would stay in Lima, and she would make it out of this town. And for the first time since they broke up, Rachel Berry finally came to understand what this whole ordeal is about.
"I need you to make a choice, Finn. If you try to talk me down, and make me wait around for you some more…I'm not having any of it. So I need you to choose."
Finn was startled by the quiet clarity of her voice. She looked so small and fragile, with tears streaming down her lovely face, and his mind couldn't keep up with all his emotions, her emotions, and the inner battle he'd been fighting since the beginning of this year—maybe even the whole relationship, "Please don't make me choose, Rach".
"If you don't, I'll go find someone who will. I'm not willing to sit here anymore, and move aside whatever the hell I want to do because the person I want to share these moments with isn't down for the ride! If that's your choice, that's fine. I'll go find someone who accepts me and understands that what I need is bigger than this! Than McKinley High School's social hierarchy. Someone who will choose me, for once, over football, and popularity, and Quinn Fabray".
He didn't say anything. He didn't even make a sound.
She moved closer to him tentatively, standing on her tippy toes to kiss him on his cheek. He didn't move nor did he flinch, but she could feel him slipping away from her all the same. "I didn't think it would come to this, Finn, but now I truly know that this—what we…what we had—it's over."
With that, she took one last longing look, before she turned around and walked away from Finn Hudson for good. Rachel continued walking through the corridors, and towards the exit, not entirely sure if Finn was still behind her. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the person walking towards her.
"There you are," he said, breaking her out of her reverie for the second time today, "I've been looking everywhere for you! Sit with me on the bus, Berry. I want to have the MVP sitting next to me all the way back to McKinley." He smiled at her impishly, offering her his arm.
"Thank you, Noah," she said smiling at him, and if he noticed the tear stains on her cheeks, or her just-crying-red eyes, he didn't say anything. He just led her onto the bus, and pulled her down next to him.
Finn was the last one to get on the bus, taking his rightful place next to the Queen of McKinley. He looked in her direction just once, before looking away again. He knew deep inside he had lost something good. But she was right, what she needed was bigger than him, than this town and these people. He was not quite strong enough; never brave enough to pick her.
Rachel knew he had looked in her direction, but she could no longer allow herself to care very much. Noah poked her side and made a dirty joke that she couldn't quite understand, but she laughed anyway. And as though it were an epiphany, she suddenly came to a realization that maybe she was looking at this entire scenario the wrong way. She isn't the supporting actress of her own life movie…she is the breakout star. And maybe, McKinley's Golden Cliché of a Couple were still at the forefront, but in the background she was shining in her own right, developing a tentative friendship with another boy, a friend from childhood, who had the potential to be her breakout male lead.