Falling To Pieces (Breakeven Songfic)
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING. The song belongs to The Script. The characters do not belong to me. I own nothing except the plot. Nothing at all.
"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing"
Crying is weakness. I cannot cry. But, yet, here I am, sobbing pathetically on my bed. My heart is broken, my one love has walked away from me. What's a guy to do? Right, go after her. I wish I could.
"Just pray to a God that I don't believe in"
Bring her back to me, God. If we were meant to be together, bring her back to me. She's all I care about, all I have. I need her like I need oxygen- she is my oxygen.
"Cause I got time while she's got freedom"
I watch the clock tick. Minute by minute, the long black hand inches forward. She's okay- she doesn't appear broken. She's probably laughing with Taylor now, while I'm here, sulking with a broken heart.
"Cause when her heart breaks, no it don't break even"
I can tell that she's sad. That much I can tell, even when she tries to conceal it with a smile. She's weird that way. Her heart is broken, but she doesn't let it show. She would never want to make others feel the same sadness, that longing, the loneliness, that she feels every day. She doesn't want anyone to know that way she cries herself to sleep each night, thinking about good, not bad, ever. Her smile is her cover- her barrier. And I'll do all I can to break it down, and see what's really going on in that cluttered mind of hers.
"Her best days will be some of my worst"
Then again, who am I to tell her how she feels? How can I tell what she's feeling? That's just right. I can't. I don't have good days anymore. When she's with him, she's happy. 'Happy'. Which is exactly what makes me so mad.
"She finally met a man that's gonna put her first"
He's not for her. I know that much. Liam is an up and coming actor- and he's completely wrong for her. He's not mean to her, not in the least. In fact, he's a perfect gentlemen, the guy I never was. She never liked guys that were too nice. And this isn't just jealousy talking. He treats her right, and watching the two of them breaks my heart.
"While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping"
I can't sleep at night. I stare into the inky blackness of my lightless room, and think about her. I think about her laugh, the way her eyes sparkle in a way that puts the Malibu Ocean to shame. I think about the way she's grab my hand when she was scared, and how good it would feel when she snuggled into my side when we would fall asleep together. I think about the sparks that would fly when I held her in my arms, felt the security that radiated off of her. The way her California toned legs would seem to go on forever, and made it hard for me to think straight.
"Cause when her heart breaks, no it don't break even.. no"
"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?/what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?/I'm falling to pieces/I'm falling to pieces"
I'm nothing without her. I'm nothing without her love. She was what held me together, the glue that kept me from falling apart. My throat feels like it's closing up, and when I try to speak, it comes out as a squeaky, hoarse sound. She's acting like her normal, bubble self, but when she looks at me, I can see sadness flashing through her eyes. I don't know what to do without her.
"They say bad things happen for a reason"
Maybe it was meant to be this way. Maybe I was wrong, and this was God intervening. Maybe we weren't meant to be together. Except it would go against everything I've ever believed. And if love wasn't what hit me the first time I saw her, I don't know what I've been feeling.
"But no wise word's gonna stop the bleeding"
They try to tell me to get out of my room, tell me to get out there again, stop being so depressed. Nothing they can say can mend a broken heart, nothing can make things seem better when everything seems so horrible. My heart will stay broken until she comes here herself and fixes it.
"Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving"
The truth hurts. She has moved on. She's got a new boyfriend, not two weeks after we break up, while looking at other girls just hurts me, and pain rocks my heart.
"And when her heart breaks, no it don't break even, even.. no"
"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?/what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay/I'm falling to pieces, yeah/I'm falling to pieces, yeah/I'm falling to pieces/one still in love while the other one's leaving/I'm falling to pieces/ cause when her heart breaks,no it don't break even"
"You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain"'
She's got two guys in love with her, two guys who would do anything to win her heart. Two guys, and she's not feeling the same heartbreak as me. I wonder if she ever did. I wonder if she ever felt the same way about me, because she isn't letting it show now. There's no trace of heartbreak written anywhere on her features.
"You took your suitcase, I took the blame"
When I saw her, saw her packing her stuff, I swear my heart stopped beating. She was crying, she said it was for the best. She said that she needed a break, needed time by herself. And I'm the one getting yelled at from her friends for letting her go, though that was the last thing I'd ever want to do.
"Cause you left me with no love, with no love to my name"
My heart only belonged to her. For the two and a half years we were together, she was all I'd think about. Her sweet face would carry me to sleep, the thought of her was what kept me going. When she left, I had nothing. Nobody was left to care about me, to love me for who I am as a person. She loved me for my imperfections, for everything about me. I loved her for her, and nothing will be the same, nothing will bring a smile to my face until she's falling asleep in my arms again.
"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just pray to a god that I don't believe in,
Cause I got time while she got freedom,
Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break, no it don't break, no it don't break even, no.
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love
while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cause when a heart breaks
no it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, It don't break even, no."
A/N So, I'm absolutely in LOVE with this song, so I thought, what the heck. Do a songfic with it! So, that's exactly what I did. It's not my best work, but that's what you get for spending a whole fifteen minutes on it.
BTW- happyy birthday to mee! I guess that's why I updated today.