DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story including Wild Child. XD

A/N: Hi guys, thanks for reading and please leave a review to tell me what'cha thought. Thanks. This story is inspired by the film Wild Child which I love and I didn't think had been done yet so I apologise if it has.

SUMMARY: Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard?

TITLE: The Boarding School

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The Boarding School

Chapter 1- Led Zeppelin in flares

"So this is it?" Vince asked as he stepped out of the car and stared at the school. It looked like a fancier version of Hogwarts from Harry Potter, not that he'd seen that film but he'd heard about it and seem pictures.

"Can you just try to fit in please Vincey?" His mum asked and licked her thumb before running it over her son's hair and noticing him grow further and further annoyed.

"Uh no, you're my mum but you can't touch my hair. Only I can tough my hair, me and people who I give permission to now maybe I would let you if you didn't have mum germs on your thumb." His mother rolled her eyes and nodded then got the luggage out of the boot. "So boarding school?" His voice was unbelieving and his dad was the least to say impressed when Vince dug his iPod earphones into his ears and turned Led Zeppelin on full blast.

"Vince, turn that off and make a good first impression." Doing as his father said, he took the earphones out and turned it on hold then sighed when a boy his age with brown hair and a lopsided moustache bounded over.

"Well hi there; you must be Mr and Mrs Noir. I am Howard Moon and I will be helping Vince while he is here to settle in and learn all of the ropes. Now before we start are there any questions?" The smaller man raised his hand and Howard smiled.

"Yeah actually I was wondering do I have to wear that or can I jazz it up a bit?" He asked, eying the blue, green and black uniform. "I don't do blue and green, I prefer red maybe a bit of light blue or purple but certainly not green." Howard sighed and shook his head in dismay.

"Umm hold on there camper, we have to stick to the rules but I think you are allowed to customize it a little bit but don't go over the top." Vince nodded and smiled, it was okay that you could do a bit of tweaking. His parents took his three full-sized suitcases to his room which he would share with Howard and a small boy called Naboo who liked to wear turbans. When his suitcases were under his bed as best as they could fit, Vince turned to Howard and smiled,

"'Oward? What's up with 'im?" The northern teen followed Vince's glance until he reached an entranced Naboo. "Is 'e alright or should we go and get someone?"

"Naboo? Naboo are you in a trance?" Naboo snapped out of his trance and smiled, pulling his earphones out and shaking his head.

"No, I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac, Tusks." Vince scoffed and looked down at his uniform which he had changed into. "What's up with you?" The tiny, young Shaman asked in a lisp.

"Well, it's this uniform, I usually dress like Led Zeppelin in flares but this is a major style issue. I think it could use some chains, a belt and maybe even a few badges." Vince smiled, pulling a make-up bag from his third suitcase and smiling as he picked out his special belt with three lines of fake metal spikes. They were obviously blunt but Howard saw it as a health hazard so he changed to his comic design one. He also acquired three badges and added them to the mix, one with Gary Numan on it, one of a smiley face and one of a monkey wearing a headscarf. He then finished his outfit off with four silver chains which he sewed onto his blazer pockets.

"Well? Do I look amazing?" Howard frowned and shook his head.

"I don't mean to offend but you like an absolute idiot. There's no way you will get away with that and if you do then… well that's pointless because you'll never get away with it. Excuse me Sir; can you pull your tie up please?" Howard gave an unimpressed look at Vince's uniform. His tie was half way down his chest and his shirt, un-tucked with the top button unfastened. He had decided to ditch the school pants and wear some drainpipes tucked into some white Chelsea boots. He thought he looked great and so would any other person with a taste for the Futuristic Camden Prostitute look.

""Well that's alright for you to say innit, you've got no style but me? I have to set examples for people. I'm the trendsetter." Howard stared wistfully at Vince but soon shook it off. He was so… different but Howard liked it, the whole concept of this difference made hi think that maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"Look alright, fine I'll let you get away with it but if you get into trouble, don't blame me alright?" Vince nodded and patted Howard's shoulder thankfully. "Oh yeah and… don't touch me will ya?"

"Oh right yeah sorry. So what's the first lesson of today? ICT, PSHE, Fashion lessons?" Howard sighed and shook his head.

"No, actually it's maths." Vince's face fell and he also sighed. "C'mon, it's not that bad. Let me show you around." Howard smiled in an attempt to make the situation a little better.

"Alright yeah that'd be genius." Vince smiled, following Howard out of the drab room.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

TBC

A/N: There's your first chapter. Reviews will keep this one going. :D So please review if you wanna keep this story going.

Updates soon.

~Mrs O.G ;) xxx