Based on the popular Rose 103 fanfics of a decade ago, I present to you, Winnie the Pooh And The Strip Club Too.

The following contains mature content. Viewer discretion is advised.

Some Character Updates.

After being quite the young troublemaker as a youth, Roo has now reached his senior year. As he got older, he got more involved in sports, as a way to stay out of trouble. In the sixth grade, he discovered soccer, and stopped playing golf, to the chagrin of his father. Roo turned out to be quite a good soccer player on the field, and a great student off the field, posting a 3.7 GPA. He played soccer all throughout middle school and the first three years of high school. His team reached the regional championship a year ago, but his father Geoffrey insisted that Roo try out for football, after seeing him boot several 50 yard field goals with ease in the spring. of high school as a kicker/punter. The football team was supposed to be good this year, especially with coach Shawsey Sanders at the helm, which meant that Roo's services would be highly needed. Roo's father also was still hauling the mail as a high-powered attorney in the Detroit area.

Recently, they all moved out of the Hundred Acre Wood and into a really nice house in the suburbs of Detroit, close to Lake Michigan. Geoffrey's wife, Kanga, was still her crazy-ass self, trying out all these recipes and switching faiths like Taylor Swift switches boyfriends.

Tigger, at 35 years old, was even more a bum than usual. Even though he held an actual job (as a trash man), he still lived in an apartment in the old neighborhood. He still didn't have a girlfriend. As a matter of fact, as of this writing, he has still never had sex. He still smoked and still drank during his down time. His best friend, Randy Moss' cousin, eventually ended up going to jail for drug charges. Once he went to jail, he made the decision to get clean for the sake of his future, and once his sentence was complete, he moved out of state and cut off ties with bad influences such as Tigger.

Pooh, who still lived with Shawsey Sanders', this time, closer to the lake, was still his fat ass self. He had lost TWO pounds in ten years. (For him, that's a damn milestone.) He still didn't have a job, but unlike Eeyore and Tigger, he didn't drink alcohol. Instead he drowned his sorrows in Pepsi, Mountain Dew, and Dr. Pepper. Shawsey Sanders, as mentioned before, became the football coach for Roo's high school, hoping to lead the newly-formed school to the state championship.

Eeyore was still his bitchy and depressed self. He has tried to commit suicide multiple times, but was unsuccessful each time. He still complains and bitches about anything and everything under the sun, from politics to music. He upgraded his car though, to a 1991 Infiniti G20 (That Tigger paid for). And he has a job, also as a trash man.

Rabbit had recently come out of the closet as a gay man, and was focused on becoming a fashion designer in the future. He and his transgender boyfriend broke up, and now Rabbit lives in an apartment in one of the few nice areas of Detroit. He tried to be a model a few years ago, to no success. Speaking of transgenders...

Piglet was an heiress to the Von Schlemmer fortune, recently got surgery to transition from a female to a male. Why? No idea. But one time, Rabbit tried to hit on her (or him), but Piglet kicked his scrawny ass. Rabbit hasn't attempted to date anyone since, and Piglet remains single to this day. He is still rich though.

Christopher Robin, former main character, has dual citizenship with the United States and Great Britain and, although he still lives in the suburbs of Detroit, plays for the Columbus Crew, and is trying out to play soccer for the England national team in 2018. He has been happily married for two and a half years, and his wife is expecting a kid next winter. Due to his constant soccer travels, he rarely, if ever, interacts with the rest of his hometown pals.