Alright, this isn't an actual story. Well, I don't want to write it, exactly. Kind of hoping someone else would, because if I do updates would be...slow. Lol. So if anyone is interested after reading this, PM me. This is sort of an overview I guess.
I died.
Then I was born here, this place that shouldn't exist, this fictional world. Yes, like those fan fictions.
I was born again to a mother who had married into a prominent clan, it was a controversial move I'm sure, I wasn't there, I can't tell you. But my mother the second time around married into a clan of pale skinned, black haired, black eyed people (like those fan fictions), but I came out wrong. I came out with brown skin, black hair, and black eyes. She was accused of being an adulterer, I was there for that. I was there for all of the insults, accusations, and for when my mother was kicked out of the clan, I along with her.
I was there for when my mother left the village, ran from it. She couldn't take rumors, the looks, the disdain shot at her. She would have rather lived as a missing-nin than a whore, slut, and any other nasty name being said about her behind her back and spat into her face.
With me pressed to her chest, my mother escaped the village. She had said she wouldn't allow anyone to hurt me... that hadn't meant she hadn't hated me herself. That hadn't meant she wouldn't hurt me herself.
My mother hated me. She hated me because she had no idea where I came from. How I came out the way I had. She hated me because she had not cheated on her husband. I cannot count on how many occasions mother would press something over my face in an attempt to smother me. And me being the infant I had been, had been too young to stop her. She would always stop and pull it away right before all of the air was out of my lungs. I cannot say how on how many occasions mother left a very young me sitting on the edge of a river, hoping I would crawl into the rushing water and be swept away. But I had an adult mind, so I never did. Mother rarely brought me to her tit to eat, but I survived – somehow.
I learned things quickly. I learned to walk as soon as I could support myself. I learned how to steal food from mother's pack whenever she would pass out drunk. I learned how to steal from others without being caught. I learned to read and write. I learned how to run fast enough to always keep with mother when she would try leaving me. I learned how to manipulate for food.
Mother finally noticed there was something different about me when I was two and half years old – something other than my skin tone. She picked up on my intelligence.
"Maybe you are one of them after all," she had said with a sneer. I had her attention. For some reason that had filled an empty part inside me. No one cared about me in this life. Everyone thought I was odd looking and strange. My own mother didn't even love me. But... she had showed me attention – no one showed me attention except to point in wonder as if I was some type of sideshow act. This is a world home to people with colorless eyes and without pupils, and I'm the oddest thing they've ever seen.
But back on topic. Mother showed me attention because I was 'smart' and saw that I could comprehend things I shouldn't be able to at my age and... I saw pride there for the first time. Usually only shame danced behind her eyes when she saw me, shame and hatred.
She had grabbed me hard by my face. I had flinched, it wouldn't have been the first time she hit me, but that's not what she had done. She looked me in the eye and stared at me, for the first time for real I think. Her large brown eyes bore into my black ones. The smell of alcohol seeped by her lips and choked me, but I forced myself to meet her eyes and not be afraid of her.
"You are one of them." She spoke. "I'll show them. Their so called prodigy has nothing on you." She declared. "You just need training and... I'll show them!" Her eyes had been wide, mad. Mother had lost it way before that moment but in that moment I saw her obsession with me be born.
From that moment on she trained me and she paid attention to me. I craved her attention. I'm not sure why, even with my adult mind all I wanted to do was please the woman who hated me. I realized later that I wanted her love. The first time I had been alive the mother I had then had died before I was old enough to remember her and the father had been sent to prison for her murder. I had always wanted a mother, a birth mother.
But I trained hard, I became the prodigy she wanted. I wanted her approval so bad that when I six years old I lied and told her I could see the future. I told her about the Uchiha massacre, she beat me so bad that night I walked with a limp for weeks. She told me to be a good ninja I would have to stay firmly in reality, no daydreams and no make-believe.
When I was eight and she got word the massacre happened, she had laughed like the lunatic she was and bought me pocky. I decided she loved me then. She pushed me harder, she wanted something out of me she hadn't gotten at that point. She died six months later.
I helped mother when she was hired for jobs and one day she said we were being tracked my Hunter-nins from Kohana. They ambushed us in a field and she told me to stand back as she fought, a wicked smile on her face as faced the assassins.
The fight wasn't too long, there was more then one of them, and I could even beat my mother at this point in a fight. She had destroyed her body with alcohol and numerous near misses in battles. She was dying.
I wanted to jump in and help, but I never defied my mother. I did as she told. The ninjas didn't pay me much attention, I was only eight, so I had moved forward. But as soon as I did one eyes darted to me, leveling me with a hard stare. They had been paying attention to me, I had realized.
Mother had laughed a weak, choking on blood laugh.
"I wouldn't hurt her if I were you," she coughed. "Your stinking village will want to see her." She continued to bleed out on the grass.
"Mother..."
"Shut up!" She snapped at me, not even bothering to look at me. "Show them."
I always did as ordered. I focused chakra to my eyes. The masked ninjas stiffened. Mother laughed again.
"And you people thought I was a whore! I guess her being a little different ended up saving her life in the end." She coughed a thick wad of blood. "Go with them, Nia, and show them...for... mommy..." She collapsed into the grass.
BB
It wasn't fair. How she left and died on me. She wanted to die. But she was still suppose to be my mother. And, she had gone and died, leaving me without a purpose. My whole existence had been to please her. I don't belong in this world, it got along fine without me in the manga and anime.
A day later I stood in front of a man I had only ever seen in animated form, the Third Hokage in a place I hadn't been in since a month after I was born.
"What are you're feelings on what happened to your mother?" He asked after seeing my eyes. Donzo and the other two (I don't care to remember there names) from the anime and manga stood in the room as well.
I was crying. I couldn't help it. Mother hated how sensitive I was, but sometimes, you are whatever you are. No amount of beatings could get rid of it. But I was angry not sad. At mother, not them.
I didn't bother wiping the tears from my face. "Does it matter?" I ask blankly. "I... loved my mother, take a guess how I feel." I didn't mean to be rude, but I grew up around prostitutes, gamblers, and all of the other low-lives my mother associated herself with. I had course mouth. I was actually surprised I hadn't cursed in that sentence.
"Your mother was a missing-nin... she left the village with you eight and half years ago."
"You people don't have prisons?"
"Your mother was dangerous."
"Please, old-man, the woman was a drunk." I stare at the area over the man's head. "She was a threat to no one." I cross my arms. "But... she wanted me to be here. She wanted me to clear her name. Wipe the muck and shame off her reputation. Mother... she wanted me to be here, become a ninja...here. Rub it into the faces of the naysayers that she was not a adulterer and that... I am an Uchiha."