Author: The Moof

Characters: Tamaki, Kyoya, Mori, Hunny, Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru and Miya

Rating: M

Summary: Tamaki, Kyoya, Hunny, Mori and their families are at the Kurosawa's for an important business party when a terrorist organization crashes the party and hold everyone hostage. But luckily the boys and Miya Kurosawa escape with the info that the terrorists want, now they are on the run and have to go into hiding till the info is given to the right people. Will the Host Club ever survive?

Notes: This is a very dark comedy/very dark crack fic.

Warnings: Extreme violence, extreme harsh language, tons of adult situations of a sexual nature.

Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters from Ouran High School Host Club, they are all owned by Bisco Hatori. I own Miyako "Miya" Kurosawa.

"Where the fuck is it!" came a voice from down the stairs, "Where is that damn microchip, access code and schematics! I want them and I want them now!!!"

"What's going on Tama-chan? Who are those guys?" ask Hunny who was grasping on to his pink bunny Usa-chan for dear life. Part of him wanted to go down stairs and beat the living shit out of these strange men that barged into his friend's home and held his an all his friends' families hostage.

But the other part of him was expecting this to happen. His father and his uncle told him if anything happened tonight that would put anyone in danger that he and his cousin Takashi would protect the Suoh and Ohtori boys as well as the Kurosawa girl with their lives. And he wasn't the type to disobey his father in this type of situation and it did cross his mind several times on the way to the party why his brother and younger cousin weren't allowed to come; now he knew why.

Tamaki was also quite scared, his father and grandmother were down there, he was just thankful that his father scolded him severely enough to not allow his beloved Haruhi to join them. He remembers telling his father that if Haruhi couldn't go that he wouldn't go. Fortunately the threat of his grandmother and him humiliating the family was all that was needed to get Tamaki to cooperate, that and the fact that his father could arrange it so he could be in good graces with Haruhi's dad was a enough.

Deep down Tamaki knew that Haruhi was safe and now the only thing that mattered to him was keeping the damn access code safe. Earlier he scribbled down the code in a form that he could easily remember if he lost it but it would be totally oblivious to anyone who was looking for it. Looking around the room he and the others were hiding in, he saw Kyoya helping Miya gather any important stuff she might need for a quick and safe escape.

"Tamaki, Hunny-sempai, Mori-sempai, let's get going." said Kyoya as he saw Miya open a secret door that was hidden behind her wardrobe.

After everyone escaped and the secret door was closed, Miya led the boys down a small flight of stairs to what looked like a garage. Following her to a Ferrari 456 GTA, she unlocked the doors and tosses Mori the keys.

"I can trust that you have a valid driver's license." Miya asked the tall host, as he nodded yes to her, she then replied, "Good, now let's get the fuck out of Dodge while we still can."

As everyone scrambled into the speedy four-seater and sacured themselves, Mori hit the gas and sped out of the hidden garage driveway like a bat out of hell to some unknown destination. Well unknown to everyone else in the car but Mori. Takashi Morinozuka was glad that Miya asked him to drive; because he knew where they had to go and who to meet if something like this did happen tonight.

He was hoping that it wouldn't come down to this, but the talk he got from his father and uncle about him and Mitsukuni needing to protect his friends tonight if need be from whatever threat that was going to happen did hit a strong cord with the young man. He, like always, didn't want to see his friends or family hurt and like Hunny he wanted to go and beat the living shit out of those men. Apparently his father, uncle and his friends' fathers knew that this was going to happen and were very prepared of the possibility of such a scenario happening and that is what pissed Mori off the most tonight.

All was quiet in the car. Mori was in the driver's seat speeding to a location his father told him to go, while his cousin and two good friends were in the back seat while a girl he barley even knew was sitting next to him in the passenger's seat trying not to start balling like a scared baby. That is when a sudden sound of gun fire was heard.

"What was that?" said Tamaki in a panic.

"We're being shot at." said Mori as he concentrated more on the road.

Unbuckling her seat-belt, Miya turned towards the guys and asked, "There should be a box under one of the seats, hand it to me!"

"You mean this one?" asked Hunny as he pulled out the box and held it on his lap.

"That's the one, thanks Sempai." stated Miya as she opened the box and pulled out a hand gun of some sort an inserted the ammunition clip into it. Turning to the front of the car, she pushed a button and then the moon-roof opened.

"What the hell are you doing???" screamed Tamaki as he saw Miya turn around and stand on her knees and popped her head out of the moon-roof and started to fire at the car chasing them.

"Saving our asses; that is what I'm doing, Suoh!"

"Not by yourself, your not!" snapped Kyoya as he grabbed an identical pistol from the box, loaded a clip and stood behind Mori as he poked his head through the moon-roof an also started firing at the car behind them.

"Sit back down Ohtori!" shouted Miya as she ducked her head inside the car.

"No!" snapped Kyoya again, ducking from the oncoming gunfire.

"Are you always such an asshole?"

"Are you always such a bitch?"

"Oh damn strait I am!" she said as she ducked again, "And damn proud of it too!!!"

Kyoya wasn't amused by this conversation that he was having with Miya right now, "I don't know which is worse; being shot at by people that want us killed or being insulted by a high class, arrogant, overly self-absorbed, hardheaded wrench!!!"

"Oh just shut up and shoot!" replied Miya as she, as well as Kyoya, kept on shooting till, one or the other of them, shot the car chasing them causing it to spin out of control enough to crash down a steep cliff an explode.

After the car chase had subsided and both Kyoya and Miya sat back down in their seats, Tamaki looked at them as they put the guns away and asked, "Are you too done having fun playing Mr. and Mrs. Smith?"

"Shut up Tamaki!" both Miya and Kyoya snarled at the blond.

"Never mind that Tama-chan, I want to know where Takashi is taking us."

"The airport." replied Mori with a sigh.