Private Sessions with a Mushroom Maniac
Akko Kagari sat in the Luna Nova Academy library, surrounded by several stacks of books. The brunette witch had gathered them up in an attempt to study seriously for once, but so far Akko was still stuck on the first book, glaring hard at the page in order to will the words to make sense. However, no matter how hard Akko tried, the textbook never made sense: it was as if the words simply crawled across the page, determined to remain unreadable. Ugh, why did magic have to be so so so hard? It was like she was reading the book upside down and in a different language or something.
Across the front of the green book read the simple title Astrologie pour les nulsin faint purple lettering.
With a deep grunt, Akko slammed the textbook shut and threw it over to the other side of the table, then grabbed another book from the pile. She rapidly flipped through the pages like a whirlwind, her eyes flashing across each line at a breakneck speed, but each page gave Akko the same results as last time: nothing but big fancy words and gobbledygook that made the young witch go cross-eyed. Her teeth grinding together, Akko clutched her head and shouted to the heavens," What is up with all these stupid books? None of them make a lick of sense! What I'd give for some help right now."
Just as Akko asked her question, there came a loud wooden crack through the library, followed by the squeal of poorly oiled hinges. The large doors to the library swung open, and a lone figure glided inside. The figure was lean, pale, and wore a witch's cloak that reached to the floor. She moved with a quiet, fluid grace that was oddly snake-like, which was only reinforced by her rarely-seen sharp teeth and pale red eyes. Her pink hair was wavy and reached to her shoulders, as if the pink-haired witch cared little for her own appearance.
The library door closing behind her, the pink-haired witch slithered into the library, past Akko and to a nearby bookshelf. The pink-haired witch cast not a glance to Akko. She simply looked through the books, mumbling under her breath as she searched for a book. "Lion's Mane... Lion's Mane... Lion's Ma- ah. Found you."
T he pink-haired witch pulled a book from the shelf, cracked it open, and read it silently to herself. Akko, who had watched the pink-haired witch enter the library like a rapturous goddess descending from upon high, gasped faintly.
"Sucy? What are you doing here?"
Sucy said nothing, and merely continued rifling through her own book. Did she not hear Akko? Never one to be ignored or to neglect a friend, especially her best and honestly cutest friend, Akko grabbed a small pile of abandoned books and went over to her dear friend. Shoving books onto the bookshelf at random, Akko turned to demonic angel beside her.
"Heya, Sucy! What'cha doing here at the library this time of night?" Akko asked. She grinned wide, her bright eyes affixed onto Sucy. Gosh, when did it get so hot in here? "Oh, did you come to help me put these books away? It'll go so much quicker that way!"
With a sigh, Sucy tore her attention away from her book. With her left eye covered by a mass of pink hair, Sucy's right red eye fell onto Akko. A faint frown crossed her lips and the eye narrowed. "What? Why would I come all the way to the library to do something pointless like that? I just wanted to find this book."
The pink-haired witch held the book up for Akko to see. The book cover was dusty brown and had a simple, yet stylish floral pattern at the edges. The title read in golden leaf lettering, Rare Mushrooms of the World. Sucy opened it up again and continued with her reading. "I wanted to fact check about the medicinal value of Lion's Mane. Its a rare mushroom said to lower anxiety and improve a witch's cognitive abilities. The jury is still out on the last one though."
Her eye leering at Akko, Sucy said with a smirk, "Who knows, maybe it could help a scatterbrain like you? But I doubt there's enough Lion's Mane in the world to help a dummy like you."
Stamping the ground with her foot, Akko pouted. As great and fun and chocolate-coated deluxe amazing as Sucy was, she could be a real dumb butt sometimes. "Sucy, that's mean! You just wait, I'll be an even better witch than Chariot someday, without the help of your dumb mushroom thing!"
With reckless abandon, Akko stuffed the rest of the books haphazardly on the shelves and stomped off, her cheeks puffed out like an angry squirrel. She returned to her table, picked up another book and cracked it open, hoping this one would actually make any sense to her. Sure, it was like trying to squeeze water from a stone, but Akko was one to never accept defeat, at least not for long.
Due to her little tantrum, Akko did not notice Sucy's gaze follow after her, nor the dark twinkle in the pink-haired witch's eye. Tucking the mushroom tome into her sleeve, Sucy wandered over to Akko, peering over her shoulder. The book of Akko's ire was about astrology, the study of reading the stars. A page about Capricornus stared Akko in the face, as if daring her to make sense of it.
Her tone carefully level, as if bored by the whole conversation, Sucy asked, "Studying for the midterms? What, was Professor Ursula too busy? I'm surprised you're not by her side; did you get lost, like a fawn missing her mama doe?"
The pink-haired witch poked Akko in the cheek. Her voice took a slightly accusatory tone. "You're with her so much we hardly test potions out together. Those rumors about you and her aren't true, right?"
Akko pushed away Sucy's hand, gasping loudly. Her face flashed a hot pink. "Wh-what? Ew, no way! I'd never see Professor Ursula like that, she's more like a mom than, than what you said!"
Arms crossing across her chest, Akko continued. "And that's right, Professor Ursula is making our tests right now. I just gotta study by myself is all. I'm just by myself... for now..."
With a groan, Akko let her head flop onto the table, burying her nose between the pages of the textbook. She gazed upon the book stacks around her like a tiny mountaineer before an impossibly steep and icy mountain, its sharp peaks disappearing into the foggy clouds overhead. For a simple and honest girl like Akko, the halls of academia were a cold and empty place full of shadows that hid the truth, and while she braved them regardless, sometimes it felt hard to continue after being met with failure after failure.
Her knuckles tightening, Akko said, "I just... I don't want to disappoint everyone. My parents, for spending a fortune to get me here. Professor Ursula, whose always helping me out. Myself. I just, I don't want to mess this up like I mess everything else up..."
Akko slumped over in her seat and ruffled her own hair, groaning loudly. "Ooooh, why does studying have to be so hard?"
Sucy stared down at her friend, watching Akko fret over her studies. The pink-haired witch turned her head this way and that, as if tossing around puzzle pieces inside her mind to piece them together. After a few moments of this, a toothy grin split across her face.
"Hm. Well, if you're gonna be so pathetic about it..."
Sucy leaned down on the table with one hand, before placing the other onto Akko's shoulder. The gesture instantly shook Akko out of her funk, if only because of how unusual it was: Sucy hated physical contact with other people, calling physical affection a 'weakness of the flesh' and 'the brainless sheep huddling together.' Sure, Akko wanted nothing more than to touch Sucy all the time, holding the pink-haired witch close until Sucy knew how much Akko loved her... as a friend, but what could possibly possess her to hold Akko now, out of all times?
Fortunately, Akko did not have to wait long for her answer. Gesturing to the book stacks, Sucy said, "The midterm starts on Friday. That gives us three days to study, including tonight. How about I tutor you? I might not be a know-it-all like Diana, but I know enough to tutor you in astrology and other areas."
Sucy placed the other hand on Akko's other shoulder, her shadow falling over the brunette witch. She chuckled darkly.
"What do you say? Do we have a-"
Before Sucy could finish, Akko popped out of her chair like a jack-in-the-box, throwing off Sucy's hold. Spinning around in the air, the brunette witch then grabbed Sucy by the shoulders and pulled her in close, until their noses were practically touching.
"Really?"
Akko's eyes lit up. The brunette witch was always ready to accept help from friends, and right now she reaaaally needed help. Her heart soared at the idea of spending hour after hour with Sucy, the two climbing the tall peaks of knowledge and exploring the halls of academia together, discovering new truths and warmed by each other's company. She could just picture it now, her and Sucy burning the midnight oil as they read book after book, huddled together on Sucy's bed. They would swap stories about themselves between chapters and giggle like school girls over fond memories. Akko would lean on Sucy's shoulder, treasuring her presence, and maybe, just maybe Akko's hand might find Sucy's under the blankets.
Her heart filled with such daydreams, Akko said, "That's so nice of you to offer, Sucy! Sure, I'd gladly-"
J Just then, Akko paused. Her eyes narrowed and she gripped Sucy's shoulders just a bit tighter. "Wait a minute? What's in it for you? Got a bunch of potions to test on me? Want me to run errands in the forest of Arcturus?"
As much as Akko appreciated Sucy for her super-smart brains, her undying loyalty, and her super cute and pretty face, like wow, how did Sucy get her hair to be so bubblegum pink and smell like strawberries, and Akko could get lost in those rose-colored eyes, and oh my gosh you guys, Sucy's skin was super smooth and cool like the world's greatest statue, she could just melt in those perfectly chiseled arms...
... what was she thinking about? Oh yeah, not blindly trusting Sucy, that's smart.
Sucy shrugged weakly, unable to meet Akko in the eye. Their faces were so close that they could see the pores in each other's skin, and unsurprisingly, Sucy's face was flawless. It was painted red though, and for a moment Akko pondered if her totally platonic friend was coming with a cold.
"N-no, its n-nothing like that. I just want to ease each other's tensions."
Clearing her throat, Sucy pushed Akko away to arm's length. Her face still red as a tomato, Sucy wiggled an eyebrow saucily at Akko. "If you know what I mean? I want to bonestorm with you. All to help you pass midterms."
Akko stared as Sucy weirdly wiggled her eyebrow. How did Sucy do that? Akko sure didn't have that much control of her face muscles. It was just more evidence that Sucy was super talented and cool. Still, Akko frowned.
"I know English isn't my first language, but I always thought the word was pronounced 'brainstorm?'" Akko shrugged, and before Sucy could react, Akko pulled the pink-haired witch into a hug. She squeezed Sucy tight, nuzzling her fondly like a cat to its owner. "But if that's all you want in return, I'll gladly accept. Thanks a bunch, Sucy! How about we get started now?"
Sucy grunted and groaned as Akko rubbed up against her. Her red eye glared at the brunette witch, who smiled obliviously to Sucy's intentions. "You don't... understand. I meant we should-"
Before Sucy could finish, Akko pulled away from the hug and sat back down. She pointed to the last page she was on, the page on the constellation Capricornus.
"So, could you explain this sea goat thing? I can't even pin down when it's happening because the equinoxes change over time! It used to happen in the winter solstice in December, but that's changed since 130 BC! And all these books are ancient and have different information about when the sun is now influenced by this constellation!"
The brunette witch looked up at her pink-haired friend, her eyes big and lip quivering. She looked all for the world like a lone puppy dog begging to be adopted, to be saved from her cardboard box home and to be brought into the warmth. Even the cold-blooded Sucy felt her heart skip a beat at the sight, so with a faint sigh, she pulled up a chair and sat down beside her friend. She leaned over Akko until their shoulders were touching and Akko could feel Sucy's breath on her neck.
"Let's see here..." Sucy brought her finger to the textbook, her eyes squinting. The text was in French and the paper yellowed with age, but it was still legible. "Capricornus is among the faintest constellations. It is best visible in September at 9 PM. It is can be found between a latitudes of sixty degrees and and a negative ninety degrees."
Her eye flickered to Akko, and Sucy gave her a playful nudge of the shoulder. "Got any other questions? Whatever it is, I'll tease the problem out of you until you're ripe to burst, then thrust in the answer so hard you'll explode with joy. Get what I mean now?"
Akko nodded her head in understanding. Her body felt all sorts of funny with Sucy literally breathing down her neck. Not a 'haha' funny, but a strange kinda funny that made Akko's skin feel all warm and tingly while her stomach did somersaults. She often felt this way around Sucy, and a small part of Akko wondered if Sucy felt the same way. She sure hoped so, because as nauseous as this feeling made Akko, it was still oddly pleasant.
"Y-yeah! Capricornus, that sneaky sea goat thing, is nearly invisible except in September! Guess that trickster cannot hide all the time, right?"
"Right..." Sucy said, rolling an eye as she growled under her breath.
The rest of the tutoring session went on like this: Akko would read through the textbook until she hit a tough wall of text, and Sucy would explain how to break that wall down into tiny, understandable bricks of knowledge. At the end of every chapter, Sucy quizzed Akko on what she learned from the chapter. The process was slow and painful at first, but with each chapter, reading got easier and the pace picked up. By the time the clock struck eleven and the school librarian gently, but firmly insisted the two witches clean up and leave in five minutes, they had gone through 5 chapters.
"Wow, that went really well!" Akko said as she and Sucy put away the remaining books. "Things make so much sense the way you explain it, Sucy. Maybe you should become a teacher after you graduate?"
"Only if I get to discipline naughty students like you," Sucy said. A sadistic smile crossed her face as she stared into the middle distance, sinking into a fetish-filled daydream. "Just imagine it: you, bent over my desk while my leather riding crop hits your backside? I place my high-heeled boot on the table and whisper into your ear, 'ready to accept more punishment,' and you cry and beg for more."
Sucy shivered and slurped up some drool that gathered at her lips. "Wouldn't that be just the best?"
"Hmph!" Akko pouted, thrusting in the last book into the bookshelf at random. She would likely incur the librarian's wrath later for her wholesale abuse of the Dewey Decimal system, but Akko couldn't care less about that for now. "Maybe for you, but I don't wanna be hit on the butt! I'd prefer a great teacher like you stroke and pet my butt. Like, really treat it well, like you're taking me on a fancy dinner date, and we cuddle on the couch later as we watch a sappy romance and feel all warm and fuzzy together, you know? That's what good teachers should do."
Sucy stared at Akko. "... you sure you're not horny for Professor Ursula?"
"Not in the slightest!"
"Whatever," Sucy said, gritting her teeth. "So long as you catch on soon enough. I want my payment by the time midterms are over."
You never said anything about charging me money."
Sucy just groaned. Truly, Akko's shield of innocent idiocy was a formidable opponent. The pink-haired witch simply walked to the library entrance. Before her back disappeared through the doorway, she said, "Study some more if you like. I'll brainstorm some new techniques to help tutor you. Tonight I was more of a teacher than a tutor, so don't expect me to hold your hand next time. Good night."
And with that, the library door closed with a snap and Sucy disappeared from sight.
"Hm," Akko said, her eyes on the library door that had swallowed Sucy. So things would get tougher from here? Well, Akko was used to a tough education, so she knew what to expect. She would just have to try harder, think better, and keep at it until she reached the top of this mountain. How hard could it be when she had Sucy by her side? Truly, there was nothing Akko couldn't overcome when her best and 110% heterosexual friend Sucy was with her.
That, and Sucy's amazing butt. Akko couldn't help but stare at it when Sucy walked out the door. It was a round butt, a big butt, a soft butt that could be the world's best pillow for a certain brunette witch whose name certainly wasn't Atsuko Kagari. Akko bet Sucy could smother someone in their sleep with a pillowy butt like that, like an assassin's deadliest weapon. Or as they're better known, Ass-ass-ins. A small part of Akko hoped that she would never know the terror of such a fate, while a much larger part of her not-so-secretly hoped she would, as much as Akko blithely ignored her own feelings.
Her head filled with memories of Capricornus, Sucy, Libra, Sucy, Lupis, Sucy's butt, and Sucy Sucy Sucy, Akko grabbed the last of her things and left the library as the lights flickered off, already looking forward to another private session with her mushroom-obsessed best friend.