Author's Note: This is my first story, so I hope you enjoy it! Written for fun. Slight character changes throughout the story. Rated T for drug use, and language. Please read and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sweeney Todd, Will Ferrell, Flapjack,Las Vegas, Lady Gaga or Brittany Spears,green eyeliner, Peru or LSD.

The ominous organ music plays as we start the wondrous adventure to Candy Island, with the streams of soda pop trickling down the rocks and where life is adventurous and free….

Wait. Stop right there. This isn't Flapjack! This is Sweeney Todd, the tale of a murderous barber out for revenge! With some show tunes thrown in. So let's start over, shall we?

The ominous music starts up again and we fly through the streets of London. Quickly. STOP IT'S MAKING ME DIZZY! Don't stop to stare at the prostitutes (yeah I saw you) I wanna get through the opening already. Okay, so blood, blood, blood, and we are magically on a boat. Now our story can begin.

A girl is standing at the front of the boat, singing softly to herse-oh it's just Antony. Never mind.

I have sailed the world

Beheld its wonders

From the Dardanelles to the mountains of Peru

But there's no place like London.

(Cues Jaws music)

"No there's no place like London." Mr. Todd sings, creeping up on Antony. Antony screams. Loudly.

"Mr. Todd, that was SCARY! You know how I frighten easily." Antony exclaimed, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. Mr. Todd rolls his eyes.

"Honestly Antony, we've already been on this ship, for what, five seconds, and you are already screaming. That doesn't come until later. Remember, stick to the script! Besides, I'm the one scaring the viewers at home. NOT you. Despicable, foul little…" Sweeney continues to hurl insults at Antony under his breath. Antony is oblivious to all of this, as usual. Mr. Todd starts to sing again, because he can.

You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Todd. Were you saying something? I was watching the captain dance around like a lunatic." Sweeney Todd turns and notices the captain, singing and dancing. The captain looks suspiciously like Will Ferrell.

"Boats 'n' hoes, boats 'n' hoes, gotta have me my boats 'n' hoes." Captain Will bellowed. Sweeney Todd glares at him until he stops singing.

"Do you mind?"

Captain Will pouts and storms off deck. "This isn't Vegas." Mutters Mr. Todd.

"Don't you just love that song Mr. Todd?" Antony asks, his doe eyes shining.

"I can't say that I do Antony. I can't say that I do."

Antony gasps and begins to cry, causing his green eyeliner to start running down his face. "But Mr. T, it's up there with P-p-oker Face and W-w-womanizer!" Antony sobs. "You heartless bitch!" Mr. Todd waits for Antony to stop crying. Mr. Todd rolled his eyes again. He starts to sing again.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it

And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit

And it goes by the name of London.

At the top of the hole sit the privileged few

Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo

Turning beauty into filth and greed…

I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders

For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru

But there's no place like London.

"Oh, so you've been to Peru as well!" Antony chirped. "Did you have a good time?"

"Actually, I did, it was very lovely." Replied Mr. Todd. The pair continued to chat about their individual stays in Peru, Dardanelles(whatever those are) and Antony's modeling career. They soon passed by an island where some kind of holiday was going on.

"Is that London?" asked Antony.

"No."

They passed by another random island, this time covered in snow. Some children were having a snowball fight.

"Is that London?"

"No."

They finally came to a bridge, dirty brick buildings, and a grey sky. "Is that London?" asked Antony.

"Yes."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Antony. "IT'S SCARY!"

Sweeney Todd sighed, and proceeded to drag Antony and his luggage off the ship. "Do you eat at all?" Todd asked carrying Antony to the dock.

"I have to keep my figure." Antony explained. Sweeney Todd nodded, for once upon a time; he was considering a career as a model. He went back to being his brooding self.

Come on Todd, emo think emo!

"I beg your indulgence, Antony, but my mind is far from easy. And these streets are filled with shadows, every last one of them." Sweeney spoke softly, for the full effect.

"Mr. Todd? Are you being emo again? Mr. Todd?" Antony questioned, yet his voice could not pierce through the hallucination Sweeney was currently experiencing.

"I beg your pardon, but I just saw myself being arrested in front of my wife." Mr. Todd sighed, a glazed look in his eye. "Oh, that was many years ago. I doubt if anyone would know."

"Know what?" asked Antony. Sweeney turned, giving Antony a death glare similar to the one he gave Captain Will.

"I don't know Antony, that's why I doubted anyone would know." Todd rolled his eyes for the third time, an action he would find himself doing in the future around Antony. Antony was silent for a moment, and then dared to ask Mr. Todd a question commonly found in cheesy romance movies.

"Will I see you again?"

Mr. Todd, our favorite singing barber sighed, and walked away, not giving Antony an answer. As he walked away, Antony heard him say something.

"No more LSD!"

Did you like it? Please let me know. And Sweeney needed that LSD. I mean, who could sit there, listening to Antony talk about his male model career without the assistance of an illegal substance?