Disclaimer: I don't own CSI:NY or anything associated with it - get over it!
A/N: I actually wrote this almost a year ago (August 2006) after 'All Access' aired in NZ. Also, If you read my bio you'll know I havn't yet seen season three.I tried very hard to write a post -ep Mac and Stella fic after All Access as they were my original NY ship….and yet it still ends up having a strong D/L influence….just can lose that no matter how hard I try. Thats enough of me blethering...enjoy the show!!
Caring
'This is crazy' Stella thought 'Why on earth did I tell Mac I could handle this…..that's it, I'm out of here….but where am I going…don't want to let Mac see me all frail like this….think about that latter…just start packing.'
Stella threw some clothes in her bag, took one last look around her flat and shut the door firmly behind her. Taking a deep breath she walked out of her building and hailed a cab.
"Where to?" the Driver asked.
Stella sat motionless and didn't answer for a time. 'That's the ting isn't it? Where can I go' She thought.
"If your not going to tell me where to go you can just get out lady" the Cabbie said after a few moments.
Stella was going to give him Mac's address just out of sheer desperation, but decided against it and gave him another address instead.
When they Arrived, Stella paid the cabbie then hesitantly went into the building looking for the flat number she needed. When she spotted it she breathed a sigh of relief.
'I did get it right after all' Stella thought 'Come on girl, before you lose your nerve'.
Hesitantly Stella knocked on the door. She waited a few seconds before it was opened by a sleepy looking person from the other side.
"Stella? Um…Hi, come in" Lindsay said as she held the door open.
"Oh gosh, I'm sorry I didn't realise the time…I work you up didn't I?" Stella asked.
"Don't worry about it. that's what friends are for right?" Lindsay said. "Take it you couldn't face going home to your apartment?"
"No, I did try to stay at home…cause I didn't want to look like a weak idiot in front of Mac…
"Stella!"
"I know, and it was awful. I just kept seeing everything all over again." Stella said quietly .
"Come on, sit down" Lindsay said, leading the way to her couch and discreetly glancing at the door to her bedroom. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Um…yes thanks" Stella answered.
Lindsay went to her kitchen and started preparing cups of tea for herself and Stella, hoping fervently her partner wouldn't wake up, seen as they hadn't told anyone about their relationship as yet. She took the cups thru to her living room and sat down on the couch next to Stella.
"Why didn't you let Max see how you were feeling" Lindsay asked, "You know he really cares about you ay"
"I know" Stella answered. "That's why I didn't say anything, I didn't want to upset him."
"Stella, I may not have been here that long, but I've been her long enough to realise you guys are all like family to each other - and family support each other thru thing like you've just experienced."
"Your right, we are family, and you're a part of our family. That's why I cam here."
Lindsay gave Stella a hug.
"Your more than welcome here, but I still think you should call Mac, even if just to let him know where you are, cause he's bound to be checking up on you at some point, being Mac."
"What do I say to him without letting him know I'm out of my…….." Stella trailed off as the bedroom door creaked open.
"Montana, is everything ok….oh. Hi Stella" Danny finished looking slightly embarrassed.
"Oh, Lindsay, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you had company" Stella said, grinning on the inside that the two had finally seen what was right under their noses.
"Like I said, your family, your more than welcome" Lindsay said while half glaring at Danny. "Look, I really think you should call Mac, and while you're doing so we'll go and make up my spare bed - ok?"
"Ok" Stella said softly as Lindsay handed her the phone and motioned Danny to follow her to the spare room.
Stella took a deep breath while staring at the phone in her right hand. Slowly she dialled the familiar number and waited for her best friend to pick up. Unfortunately it was his home voicemail that answered.
"Damn it" Stella cursed, then pulled out her cell phone to call his…
Meanwhile after he'd dropped her off Max had only got about a third of the way back to his place before turning around and heading back to Stella's. Unfortunately he'd got stuck in traffic both ways which was how he'd missed her leaving for Lindsay's.
He'd arrived back at her place and knocked on the door a few times concerned that she wasn't answering. Just as he was wondering if he should do as Flack had done a couple of days ago and kink in the door to get inside and make sure Stella was ok, his cell phone suddenly started to vibrate on his belt before going on to his ring tone. Annoyed at the distraction, but deciding it would take up less time if he dealt with the caller sooner rather than later, he pulled his phone off his belt and glanced at the caller id. Pure relief washed over him as he saw his best friends name displayed on the screen.
"Are you ok?" Mac asked as way of greeting as he opened his phone.
"Yes and no" Stella replied "anyway, where are you?"
"Standing outside your apartment. I had just been contemplating whether I should try kicking you door in".
That made a small chuckle escape from Stella's lips.
"Please don't" She requested. "I think one replaced door in a week is enough".
"Fair enough" Mac answered. "Instead, right back at you - where are you?"
"At Lindsay's" Stella replied. "You were right, I shouldn't have gone home, so I'm going to be staying here for a couple of days".
"Um…mind if I come over there and see you? I shouldn't have just left you there like that and I'd like to talk" Mac asked.
Seeing no way to deter him without revealing Danny and Lindsay's secret relationship, she decided she'd have to let him.
"Sure" Stella answered "But you do realise what hour of the night it is right?"
"I know its' late, but I won't stay long" Mac replied "I'll see you soon".
'Damn' Stella though as the phone clicked off.
"All set" Danny told her as he appeared back in the living room. "Hey, you um…won't say anything to Mac yet about Montana and me right?"
"Yeah, I won't say anything, but I think he's going to find out very soon" Stella said.
"Who's going to find out what?" Lindsay asked as she immerged.
"Mac's on his way over to see me - I couldn't talk him out of it - so if you don't want him to find out about your relationship you'd better go hide Danny".
"No" Lindsay stated. "I'm sick of hiding. We've been together for over a month and it hasn't affected our work in anyway, so Mac has no reason to disapprove."
Danny looked uncertain, but Stella nodded her approval of Lindsay's statement.
Hence, when Lindsay answered the second knock at her door that night a little while later, both Stella and Danny were sitting in the living room drinking cups of tea and talking (Albeit while yawing and trying very hard to stay awake).
"Sorry to barge in on you at this hour Lindsay," Mac apologized as he stepped inside then stopped at seeing both CSI's sitting in Lindsay's armchairs, one obviously in sleepwear. Danny froze at the incredulous look on Mac's face, while Stella hoped he wouldn't say something stupid.
"Ah…we'll just get out of your way and let you talk" Danny stated once his tongue would move again. "Goodnight Stella, Mac…come on Montana" he finished as he dragged Lindsay back to their room.
"If it's any consolation" Stella began seeing Mac staring dumb-founded after them "They've been together over a month and I only found out about half an hour ago".
"Really?" Mac asked
Stella nodded.
"Well I guess it was inevitable, and it hasn't affected their work so I can't complain"
"Good" Stella said "They're meant for each other".
"There not the only ones" Mac whispered.
"What?" Stella questioned.
Mac took a seat next to her on Lindsay's couch. He hesitated for a moment the decided just to go for it.
"Look,, I know this is the worst possible time to say this, but…"
"Yes?" Stella asked slightly nervous from the amount of emotion in his eyes.
"I love you Stella".
She was sure her mouth fell open in shock - she had been certain her feelings were one sided - Hell, that's was the reason she'd gone out with Frankie in the first place - just to have someone who cared.
"As I said, I know this isn't the best timing, and I won't ask for a relationship with you until your ready, but I just want you to know when you are, I'd love to be with you Stella…I was so scared when I found you, and in the future I want to be by your side…I was so scared I'd lost you as well…I love you so much".
"Thank you" Stella said looking Mac straight in the eye. "I do need a bit of time, needless to say, but there's one thing I want you to know Mac"
"Yes?" Mac asked.
"I love you too Mac, always have" Stella said as he embraced her and let her tears flow from the emotion of the last few days.
And behind the closed bedroom door, the two eavesdroppers broke into huge grins at the admissions just voiced in the living room.
T
he end.