For those of you who don't know, the All That Know Your Stars stage is basically a stage (duhh!) that is completely dark except for a movie director style chair in a spot light. You get it? Ok, our first victim is

Monkey McClurg. Isn't it fun torturing your favorite TV shows?

Its quiet on the Know Your Stars Stage. I, the Know Your Stars Guy, am waiting for my first victim. He should be here any minute now.

Right on cue, Monkey McClurg comes bursting through the door.

"Pork Chop, ya wanned to meet me?" he yells.

Monkey: "That's weird. There's no one here."

I decide to start.

KYSG: "Know your stars…"

Monkey: "Whaa! Who said that?"

KYSG: "You may call me the Know Your Stars Guy. Now sit down."

Monkey: "uhh, why?"

KYSG: "Just do it!"

Monkey: "Okay, okay I'm doing it strange, disembodied voice."

KYSG: "Thank you. Know. Monkey McClurg. He still rides a tricycle."

Monkey: "What the hell? Look, this is stupid. Where is Pork Chop? He said he wanted to meet me here."

KYSG: "Monkey McClurg. He only joined the Metal Maniacs out of depression."

Monkey: "Depression! Of What!"

KYSG: "Of being kicked out of ballet school!"

Monkey: "Hey no one knows about that! Have you been reading my diary?"

Wylde: "Monkey has a DIARY! Man I gotta see this!"

KYSG: "You mean it's actually true? You were kicked out of ballet school? You actually joined ballet school?"

Monkey: "Err, noooo. Uhh, heh heh. Noo. No. What makes you think that?"

KYSG: "Rrright. Anyway. Monkey McClurg. His name used to be Michelle, if you know what I mean."

Pork Chop: "MONKEY MAN IS A TRANS!"

Monkey: "No! Pork Chop don't listen to it its just a !$#!$#!-ing liar!"

KYSG: "Interesting vocabulary. Anyways. Monkey McClurg. He sometimes dresses up as a girl and goes to the mall to try on dresses to refresh his memories of the old days.

Monkey: "FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM NOT A TRANS!

Taro: "Hey guys. What's up?"

Wylde: "The random voice says Monkey is a trans!"

Taro: "What! Seriously! You know, now that you mention it, he does act like a girl sometimes."

Monkey: "You cant be serious! You're supposed to be my friends!"

Tork: "who acts like a girl?"

Monkey: "Tork! Man am I glad to see you! Could you pleaser explain to these idiots that I am NOT a trans!"

Tork: "you're a trans?"

Monkey: " No! that's what I'm trying to tell everyone!"

KYSG: "Monkey McClurg. He has a photo of Lani Tam under his and drools on it at night!"

Lani comes out from back stage somewhere and slaps Monkey, yells "you are such a #$!" And walks off stage.

Monkey: "Now look what you've done!"

KYSG: "oh yes blame me for trying to make a living!"

Monkey: "you get paid for this?"

KYSG: "Maybe I do maybe I don't."

Monkey: "Who pays you?"

Taro: "Aren't we a little of the subject?"

KYSG: "Monkey McClurg. His robot makes small children cry."

Monkey: "little kids love Sparky!"

KYSG: "Monkey McClurg. Whenever he takes hi socks off, half the population dies. The other half needs immediate medical attention on their nostrils.

Monkey just stands there with his mouth hanging open while the maniacs laugh.

KYSG: "Trying to catch flies Monkey? Monkey McClurg. He really likes eating bugs."

Monkey: "What the hell is going on here! I'm going now."

Monkey tries to get up but realizes he is chained to the chair.

KYSG: "Now you know Monkey/Michelle McClurg.

Monkey: "no they don't! they know nothing! I'm not a ballerina I'm a mechanic! And-

Monkey stops talking because the security guard puts his hand over his mouth and drags him away, chair and all.

The other Metal Maniacs just stare then Pork Chop says

"he seems upset"

Wylde: "Gee, ya think?"