OK so this is my first fan fic. It is a version I came up with starting from when Edward leaves in New Moon. I know that tons of people do this but all are different and have merit and I like my idea so I hope you do too. Instead of completely leaving, the Cullens just fade into the shadows. Edward can't let go of being her protector and the Cullens care about her too much to never see her again. And it's also about a stronger Bella, one who doesn't necessarily fall to pieces right away or let someone have so much power over her willingly destroy her life. She fights, however whether she is successful or not you will have to see and who she chooses, hurts, and befriends along the way. However, how long can one go without their soulmate? How important to humans is love?

This fic was inspired by the songs I Can't Stay Away by The Veronicas and Irvine by Kelly Clarkson, but mostly the first so that is where I got the title. Listen to the songs or read the lyrics and you will see how well they will go with my story. Also each chapter has a song that inspired it, if you know or can guess the songs then I will love/respect you forever and you are quite skilled. When the fic is finished I will publish which song went with which chapter just as a bonus to readers. And I know how it will end and what will happen so don't try to suggest endings or anything, I will just need time to fully flesh out the chapters. Hope you enjoy and please review if you have time!

And I won't tell you who she ends up with!

Chapter 1

I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare.

"Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.

"Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward. (SM pg 72-73 of New Moon)

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He didn't wait, he disappeared. All I could make out was some leaves rustling as he fled with his inhuman speed. Rather than carry me forward towards where he had disappeared, my legs sank to the ground, my mind racing in a thousand directions yet frozen at the same time. This can't be happening...Maybe he's...they wouldn't...couldn't...what did I do?...NO! The biggest thing in the forefront of my mind was denial and disbelief, I refused to accept that they had really left me. The Cullens were like family to me, they ARE family! Families don't desert each other. I needed to know, needed to find proof he was wrong.

Like in a daze I got up and walked back along the trail towards home, but I wasn't going home, not yet. Still in a zombie-like trance state I got my keys and started my truck. Haha, zombies. That thought was quickly blocked out due to pain or tears I knew would follow. As I drove down the familiar road faster than ever before but still abominably slow, I shut down my mind and closed my tear ducts. There's no point in getting upset, there's no proof they're really gone. They wouldn't hurt me like that, none of them could. Well maybe Rosalie.

Misty forest started to encroach along the serpentining road, the moment of truth was almost here. I had to remind myself to breathe. Like when Edward used to...That though was stopped in it's tracks immediately. After what seemed like days, the faded white house came into view, my spirits starting to lift a tiny bit. The house is still here, and hasn't changed, good sign. But as the car slowed, I noticed I was wrong, it had changed. It was almost too peaceful, like time had stopped. And something seemed less inviting or off, something seemed...missing.

I stepped inside hoping I was just being paranoid, but what I saw confirmed my worst fears. The brightness was gone, the house seemed more open to the point of being empty. The more I walked through the house the more I became painfully aware why. It was missing, every trace of them was missing. Artwork, pieces of furniture, anything that added a personal touch was missing. Carlisle's wooden cross, Edward's beautiful piano, all books from the shelves, all gone. I ran to Edward's room in one last vain attempt, but it was the most painful of all. The only thing left was the couch. His vast shelves of CD's had been emptied, the fabric creating the wonderful acoustics taken off the walls, his stereo gone.

The tears started, like seeing this was the trigger, the final piece of the puzzle, the nail in the coffin of my composure. Coffin...My mind shut down in sync with my body as I sank down and curled up on the cold couch. The tears flowing freely and swiftly down my face, my heart breaking. Literally. I never thought it possible but I could feel pieces of my heart falling away, settling at the bottom of my chest stinging like shards of glass. Shards that cut with every movement, every thought, every tear.

"Bella!" a familiar distant voice called. Breaking my trance, I noticed it had become dark outside. As dark as my future is from now on. I can't believe this happened to me. This was so unexpectedly dark for me, I didn't even know I was capable of thoughts like these. Taking another look outside I noticed it was a new moon. Perfect. The cherry on top. When did time start again? How long have I been here?

"Bella, you here?" a second voice called, again familiar. "Bella!" Jacob! Charlie! They're out looking for me? How long have I been lying here? I was vaguely aware of hearing footsteps as the door opened and someone entered the room.

"Bells, oh my god there you are!" Charlie. "Never scare me like that again!"

"Bella? What happened, what's wrong?"

"Charlie, Jacob, they're gone. He left me, they all...left me." Must I have a never-ending supply of tears? A set of arms scooped her up, Charlie.

"Let's go home Bells. Don't worry, we got you." At least someone does.

The whole way home I was silent, Jacob sitting beside me with his arm around me in the backseat. Charlie was going to take me to pick up my truck in the morning since I was in no fit state to drive. Although most of the time I was lost in my anguished thoughts, I was occasionally shocked out of them to notice how scared they both looked, how worried and upset they were. With the occasional gleam of anger, that must have been for Edward. No, I won't let them suffer too. I can't let them see me like this. I made a decision then and there. I won't let him hurt anyone else. He may have destroyed me, but I can't let him hurt anyone else I care about. From now on, no one else will see me like this...ok well maybe not yet. But I will find a way to shake this. I won't let them be destroyed too. I can do this.