I don't own the guys…

Just spending a tender

Moment with them.

Seeing the End

By Pegbronco

Hutch laid there trying to suck down the air that his body so desperately needed. His chest fighting him, squeezing every bit of what little air it had, out, as it fought to extract the bug that so viciously continued it's quest to kill him.

Ohgod Starsky, I don't know how much longer I can go on. It hurts so damn bad. I can't keep going like this. Please Starsk…I need you.

A round of excruciating spasms hit him again. The breath forced out, as his chest tightened. His strength now exhausted beyond it's limit. His body collapsing into it's self. The fight with the plague had took it's toil. He felt that his time was getting to close to the end.

I don't think I ever really told you, I mean really told you how much you mean to me Starsk. How you have impacted my life. You have been the one and only person that was ever able to reach deep inside of me and grab my heart and soul. You were the only one that has ever given me hope in my life. Given me something to hold on to. I owe you so much. Now, all I can do is lie here and die. Now I feel as if I failed you. That maybe I didn't give you as much as you have given to me.

I never really knew just how lucky I was to have you as a friend. I feel I may have taken advantage of that friendship. That friendship that was forged on utter loyalty and devotion. You were always by my side when I needed you. You just seemed to know the right time to come running to save me. At times, that was even to save me from myself. To pull me up from those emotional wells that I would fall into. All those times that I would have given up, you would lean in close and whisper in my ear. "Me and Thee partner, always remember that." That's when I would look at myself and realize that whatever I did , it affected you as well.

Ohgod Starsk…I don't want to leave you alone. I can't stand knowing that your going to be alone. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please…my heart is breaking. God…I love you so damn much David. Please…try to find your way without me. You have to live Starsky. Live for me.

There was so many things that I wanted to do with you. I wanted to stand by your side and watch as your bride strolled up the aisle to you. I wanted to see your face as you held and looked at your firstborn's face for the first time. Your going to be a great dad Starsk. Raise them with all the love that you have shown me. Let that endless love come back to you and then let it flow to those that hold your hand. Don't ever forget to love again Starsk. You have so much inside of you.

I know that your out there going crazy trying to find him. I know that your scared to death about what is about to happen to me. I saw how terrified you were. Scared that I would go without you here. I'm scared too. So scared Starsky.

How many hours has it been that I kicked you out of the room? It's not that I didn't want you here buddy. It ripped me up inside to see you on the edge of tears. To see that fear in your eyes. I broke your heart to make you leave. But you knew I was right. Everyone needs you out there looking for him. Maybe finding him will save others that need his help. I feel that I'm past that help now.

I'm at the end Starsk. My life is slipping. I can't give anymore. It hurts beyond all I have ever felt. What I wouldn't give to see you one last time. But I do feel you. I feel your heart reaching for mine. Trying to keep mine beating in rhythm with yours. Desperately reaching. I know there's no comfort I can give you other then, this isn't goodbye…I'll see you again. I'll be waiting for you. I love you…

Please God look after him. Hold him tight against your heart. He's going to need a strong hand to hold him up. Be his shield. Keep him safe. He needs to live. He needs to live a long life. One that is full of the kind of love that he has shown me. He deserves so much.

The heartbeat reaching out stronger for the weak one. The love flowing the strength that is needed. The bond unbroken.

End