A/N: This is not my story. This is what my brother wrote a few years back and I just found it tonight. It is a total crackfic and I hope you enjoy it- or at least tolerate me for posting it. Thanks! ~Zabs
Well, it all started because of Artemis Fowl. I HATE Artemis Fowl!
Well, it all started one day when I was walking home from school and I saw my friend carrying an Artemis Fowl book.*shudders*. I walked up to him and asked him what it was. And he said, "Artemis Fowl", *shudders*. He said I should read it so I took his advice and did. Dundundunnnnnnn *shivers*.So while I was reading the part where Holly Short *mumbles with a tint of insanity* is being fairy-napped by the genius Artemis Fowl *shudders*. So I was talking to my friend in China on a web-cam and I had to use the restroom. So I put my book on top of the computer and left the room. While I was gone, the book fell off the top of my computer and fell so it was leaning against the web-cam. Then my dog, feeling himself to be masterful in the art of computers turned on the *shivers*. Unfortunately for me my friends dad wo was the head of a Gang/Mafia/Criminal/Assassin/Paparazzi/Army Organization (if that's possible)saw THE BOOK! *sobs quietly*
After seeing THE BOOK *sobs quietly* his dad remembered he needed to give a friend of his in America some highly illegal toothpaste that was said to whiten your teeth by 50%! *rambles on meaninglessly*. Heres the worst part of the whole story *sobs histerically*. His dad smuggled on the plane A CAN OF CHILI!
When the plane got there his dad left to go straight to his friends. but he forgot THE CHILI! Dundundunnnnnn. Later that day a bunch of terrorists hi-jacked the plane that THE CHILI! was on. While the terrorists were preparing to crash into their target and so he got the chili bomb only to find, its not the chili bomb he found its THE CHILI! In frustration he throws it through the window, cracking the glass... duh.
Luckily the plane runs out of oxigine and it crashes into... THE TERRORIST CAMP!
An innocent hobo walking on the street discovered the now radiation infused CAN OF CHILI! Did I mention I hate chili? The hobo hopped on a train to my home in Gary Indiana(and when I say hopped on, I mean it literally). It was getting cold and so he decided t ocook his radiation infused CAN OF CHILI! Shortly after he was eating his radiation infused CHILE! and farted a record fart scoring two on the rictor scale. The fart was so violent that it knocked over a lamp... Which knocked over a vase of flowers(don't ask me how wthat got ther =\)... Which hit the web-cam getting it wet and sending an electic shock throught the cord electricuting my dog! And some elephant named BoBo in Africa... Don't ask its another story much like this one. And that is how Artemis Fowl *shudders* killed my dog.
A/N: Ch'yup... That's my brother...