Title: Answers 1/3
Summary: Claire wants some answers and there's only one person she knows she can get them from. A possible development of Claire's story in season two.
Spoilers: Written post season one, pre season two
Original post date: 1st September 2005
Disclaimer: Yeah I own Lost…sure I do shifty eyes

It wasn't too hard for her to find an opportunity to slip away quietly on one of the endlessly drizzly afternoons. She had nursed Aaron and then left him with Charlie, trusting that he would take care of him until she returned.

And then she left, the only evidence to her flight being the short note she left behind where she knew Charlie would find it.

Charlie,
Please look after Aaron for me. I'll be back soon. Love Claire.

She had paused then, wondering if she should say more and added a hasty postscript.

Please don't follow me, this is something I have to do alone. And you don't have to worry about Rousseau or the "others". I'm taking one of the guns with me.

That too had been relatively easy to procure. Claire was quite a good actress when occasion called for it and when she had gone to Sayid telling him she had injured a rabbit just a little way from the caves he hadn't hesitated in giving her a gun to go and put the poor thing out of its misery.

'Are you sure you wouldn't like me to do it?' he had asked seriously as he showed her how to cock and uncock it safely.

'No,' Claire shook her head, as she took the gun gingerly. 'It was my fault. I'll do it.'

Sayid gazed softly at her and she squirmed guiltily

'Besides,' she added and gestured unnecessarily at him. 'You're busy. I can do it.'

'If you can't…'

'I can do it,' Claire said firmly and then smiled faintly, reminiscently. 'I had an uncle who owned a farm. I went rabbiting with him once or twice as a kid.'

She held her breath, waiting for him to realise she was lying but he shad simply nodded and let her go, the gun heavy in her hand.

It felt heavier now; the further she walked from the caves.

She knew what she was doing was foolish, traipsing out into the jungle alone. After everything that had happened to her in there, Claire realised that the jungle should scare her to death. But it didn't.

It began to rain as she walked. She glanced around furtively, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu. It felt uncannily like the day Charlie had killed Ethan and it made her feel uneasy. She still remembered all too well the irrational swell of terror that had engulfed her when she had met Ethan's eyes. And then she had screamed, and ran.

She sensed rather than heard Jack tackle Ethan and she remembered turning and watching as Jack pounded at him over and over with his hands as she stood there, paralysed with fear. Kate had come to her and held her, but her voice had sounded only like a numb, mindless hum. It hadn't meant anything. And as Kate whispered nothing to her, Claire remembered wishing that it were Charlie and not Kate holding her. Because even though he had lied to her, even though she was a little afraid of him, Claire wanted more than anything to trust him.

She pulled away from Kate, wanting only for this ordeal to be over, and stood there watching silently as Ethan valiantly struggled to his knees. He glanced at her and she felt a chill race up and down her spine and then suddenly, he keeled over backwards.

It wasn't until he hit the ground that Claire's brain even registered that he'd been shot. And it wasn't until Charlie lowered his gun and turned to look at her that she realised that he was the one who had shot him.

Charlie had glanced at her only once more before leaving. She had looked away, unwilling to meet his eyes and he had gruffly passed his gun to Jack before walking silently away, his shoulders stiff and unyielding to Kate's calls.

'Just let him go Kate,' Jack had finally said irritably and then turned and tentatively put a hand on Claire's quivering shoulder. 'Come on Claire. Let's get you back. Are you okay?'

Claire looked down at the gun she now held in her hands and realised that it was quite possibly the same gun that Charlie had used to kill Ethan.

Ethan. All she remembered of him was the sound of him chasing after her like some mad animal, his intense gaze, and the sight of his body being carried away. Sawyer and Sayid had carried him, Locke leading them back to the caves. Kate had looked anxiously at her.

And Charlie had disappeared slowly amongst the trees.

'No Jack.' She whispered and cocked the gun. 'I'm not okay.'