Ages and ages ago, I saw a confession on the 'confessions-of-an-animangaholic' Tumblr page that stated that the person wished that there'd been more info in the series about Lisa's mother, and why she turned out the way she had been. I hadn't thought about Zankyou no Terror for a while, but that confession sparked my imagination enough so that I begun to think about it a lot, and eventually decided to write a fanfiction about it. This was originally meant to be a one-shot, but it started to get pretty long so I cut it up and this is the first part. I'm thinking that this will be a three-parter at the most. But anyway, while all of this really can only be speculation, I hope that this satisfies that confessor (whoever you are) and anyone else who has wondered about Lisa's mother.

((Disclaimer: This fic will have a lot of somewhat disturbing things like mentions of abuse, neglect, violence etc., so please be aware of that from the outset. I have set this to T rating to begin with, but if you think it should be M instead please let me know and I shall consider changing it))

So, without further ado, here is part one!

Mummy and Daddy arguing. Their screams and shouts. The sharp and poisonous words they fling across the nights at each other. These are the sounds that will eventually become Ayumi's first memories.

But at that moment, Ayumi doesn't know that yet. She is almost four years old, and all she knows is that it's loud, and scary, and she can't sleep. She knows that when she gets out of the bed in the morning Mummy will probably be sitting at the table, half asleep, dribbling, with an empty glass bottle in her hand. Daddy will be nowhere to be seen (though he'll definitely return, he always does). Ayumi will have to tiptoe around, and be very quiet. If there isn't anything eatable in the fridge she may have to go without breakfast because the cupboards are too high and the step stool too heavy for her. Then they'll just pretend that everything is normal until the next fig-

"YOU GODDAMN SLUT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! "

Though the words and volume are not too different to what she is used to, there is something there that makes Ayumi sit up, gasping, squeezing tatty old Teddy-san as she listens.

"GOOD, I CAN'T WAIT! Take the brat with you while you're at it!"

"Hah, what do I want with a girl child, huh? Especially one who isn't even carrying my name? Why WOULD I take her? HOW DO I KNOW SHE'S EVEN MINE, HUH? TELL ME THAT, SLUT!"

"If she WASN'T yours, you think I'd be putting up with you for as long as I have? Seriously? Look at yourself!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"OH, YOU HEARD ME, TAKEO, YOU HEARD ME. SO LEAVE!"

Ayumi hugs Teddy-san closer to her and tries to curl up into a tiny ball, blocking out the words. The sounds can still be heard, and no doubt a neighbour would come around the next morning to tell Mummy off. But even so, she manages to curl up enough for the words to become indistinct, and for only the loud, horrible buzzing to remain. It seems to last for ages and ages, until finally, Daddy yells out something else and stamps out, slamming the door behind him as he leaves the house. The sounds make the whole house shake, as if it will fall down around them, but all Ayumi can feel is relieved, that at least the noises have stopped for another night. Perhaps if I was a good girl, it would have stopped more quickly.

Ayumi still can't get to sleep, so she remains as she is, half sitting, half curled up, her pyjamas all rumpled as she clings onto Teddy-san. She listens to the noises of Mummy searching for her drinks, surrounded by relative quiet, mumbling things incoherently as she finds the drink and starts to swig it greedily. Ayumi stares into the darkness of her room, deliberately trying to think about nothing, when all of a sudden, the door swings open and Mummy is in the doorway, swaying slightly. Ayumi gasps, then realises she shouldn't have, for the noise makes her enter the room and approach the bed.

Ayumi squeezes her eyes shut but it's too late as Mummy leans over and grabs her shoulders hard and leans in, getting right up to her face, smelling just like that drink. Mummy…

"You were listening, weren't you, you little brat?" Mummy hisses. "You heard all of it didn't you?!"

Ayumi blinks, confused. Though it is dark, she can see that Mummy's eyes bulge and her lips go tight, just as angry now as she was at Daddy earlier. I'm trying to be a good girl, I am. But before she can say anything, Mummy just puffs an angry breath of air, like a dragon, before leaving the room in the same way that she came. Ayumi shivered, wincing at the bruises already forming on her shoulders. She hugs Teddy-san closer to her, and wonders if she'll ever be able to go to sleep again.

…

Apparently, she does go to sleep, because she ends up waking up. And when she does, it's sunny and bright, and Mummy isn't in the room. But she's still super sleepy, and she has to use one hand to rub away the sleepiness from her eyes as she gets out of bed, puts Teddy-san on her pillow and goes to brush her teeth, making sure not to squeeze too much toothpaste or she'll make a mess and Mummy'll get mad when she wakes up.

Once she has (eventually) changed into the only clean clothes she has left, she sneaks over to the dining room. Sure enough, Mummy is asleep and dribbling at the kitchen table, empty glass bottle in her hand. Ayumi stares at her for a moment, her shoulders still throbbing as she remembers. Then, with a shrug, she creeps to the fridge and finds the orange juice bottle, before going to the low cupboard and finding a biscuit bar. She thinks about sitting at the table to eat and drink, but pulling out a chair would be too noisy, so she decides to take her breakfast to the park and eat it there. There'll be lots of people walking dogs at the park, and if she's lucky, she can play with them. She likes dogs. They're furry and friendly and make her happy. And with luck, she'll stay out long enough that when she gets back, Mummy will be awake, and a little less angry. And maybe Daddy will return too, and then just for a little while longer, things will be good.

So that is exactly what Ayumi does. She takes her biscuit bar and her orange juice bottle, finds her red shoes and slips them on, and then quietly leaves to find the dogs at the park.

…

Time goes by. Ayumi's daddy doesn't come back at all, and Mummy drinks a lot and a lot, moaning about it and yelling about it whenever she sees Ayumi. She learns to hide for a while, and for a few days, she goes without any food at all, just hiding in her room, under the quilts with Teddy-san. Sometimes, Ayumi wonders if she'll become an invisible girl, if Teddy-san will be the only one who remembers her.

But more time goes by, and they both get used to things, to the absence of Daddy. Mummy washes her clothes again, and does some actual cooking (but after she tries to put chocolate buttons in the stew while intoxicated, Ayumi ends up taking that job over anyway). She still drinks, but not so much, and sometimes they actually go to the park together, and Ayumi introduces her to all her doggy friends. Sometimes, Mummy reads to her before bed.

When she becomes old enough to start school, Mummy walks her there and back on the first ever day. Mummy fawns over her, making sure she looks all pretty, telling her she's a wonderful big girl now she's starting school. But after that, she's left to her own devices, as Mummy starts a job at a bar that has long hours. The house becomes messier again, as Mummy is too busy. When she starts to drink again, that's when Ayumi just quietly takes over the housework, somehow fitting it between homework and school. It's not such a big deal, for the dogs at the park still remain her only friends, so it's not as if she's got anything better to do. It's just how her life is.

…

"Are all of those your dogs?"

Ayumi stops and blinks at the girl who asked her the question, trying to figure out who she is. She's in my class, isn't she? She doesn't know for sure, as she's never yet had any real reason to remember the names of her classmates. Even as a fifth grader, she still has no friends. She just keeps her head down and gets on with the work, making sure she doesn't stand out in any way whatsoever. It works, mostly. A few of the shiniest, prettiest class members have tripped her up once in a while, but she doesn't dwell on those things. She's used to the occasional bruise anyway, it's not new to dogs bark eagerly and tug at the leashes she is holding, making her remember herself, and with effort, she focuses on the current situation.

"N-no. I'm just their dog walker." Ayumi explains hurriedly. "I-I walk them to the park, then we circuit around the park and walk back, dropping each one at its home as we go."

"Ehhh?" the girl tilts her head, pretty green eyes catching the light even as her chestnut brown hair falls across them messily. "Why? Is it for a job? Do you get paid?"

"I-I j-just get paid a little." Ayumi stammers. "I like dogs."

"Eh, really?! That's so cool! I LOVE dogs, but my parents won't let me get one!"

"Same." Ayumi mutters, embarrassed. "Look, I should really go now….the dogs…"

"Say, Kobayashi-san, can I walk with you? I mean, while you're still walking the dogs?"

Taken aback, Ayumi can only gold-fish mouth at the girl for a moment before once again; the eager dogs remind her of where she is. Going bright red at the attention, Ayumi just nodded and began walking again, the girl following behind and chattering eagerly.

Ayumi discovers that yes; the girl is indeed in her class. Her name is Nodaka Tachibana, and she really does like dogs too. She lives with her mother, father, an older brother called Koutarou and a little brother called Atsushi, and she wants to be a vet when she is older. And she really, really likes to talk. Despite her years of solitude, Ayumi doesn't mind this, and though she reveals little about her sorry life, she grows to like Nodaka as they walk. And when all the dogs have been returned and Ayumi is left with nothing to do, she finds herself saying 'yes please' when Nodaka offers to buy them both milkshakes and cookies at the local café.

A friend. I have found a friend.

That same night, even as she repeats those words to herself like an incantation, she finds herself not believing it, not really. She cannot imagine that this would be anything but a fluke. The thought leaves her sleepless, and when Monday morning rolls around, she stumbles from her house to the classroom bleary-eyed, only to be glomped by a very cheerful Nodaka.

"Kobayashi-san!" she squeals. "Come chat with us before class starts!"

"Uh…." Ayumi barely manages to put her bag down before Nodaka drags her off to the other end of the class where the girls she usually hangs out with are. They stare at her, surprised, but they don't raise objections, and though Ayumi doesn't talk much (for she cannot think of what to say), she finds herself feeling good about being here, about being part of this group. And they are nice to her, just as nice as Nodaka was. And the warm feeling that produces in her lasts even when the teacher comes in and orders them to their seats.

When break time comes along, she does not expect them to invite her back to sit with them, but they do. And then the same happens at lunchtime. When it is home time, Nodaka comes to her table before she has a chance to slip away as she usually does. And then the next day, and the day after that, it repeats again. Ayumi learns the names of Nodaka's other friends- Youko, Ami, Erika, Rikako, Saori- and she finds things to talk about with them. She tells them about her little dog-walking job and they all find it cool, peppering her endlessly with questions about it. On weekends and holidays they go out for ice-cream, or milkshakes or hot chocolate when it is cold, and they play in the park and help each other with homework. She goes around to their houses, but avoids inviting them to her house at first. Later, she chances it on a summer's afternoon and strikes lucky, for that day her mother has no boyfriends around and she's sober with it. Knowing the fickle nature of luck, she doesn't try that often, but Nodaka and the others never seem to mind, and they carry on regardless.

…

The cracks begin to show as the friendship continues its way into middle school. Suddenly, Ayumi realises that her life is different from those of Nodaka and the others. They all have aspirations, to go into high school, university and marriage. They have good families and money, and though some of them get jobs at that point, it is not the lifeline to them that it is to Ayumi. She barely managed to get herself into a middle school in the first place, and she knows there is no way she can keep that up to high school. No, Ayumi's plan is to just start working full time in whatever job she can find and get out of her home as soon as possible. Night after night, she dreams of her own apartment, her own jobs, peace and stability most of all. She even wonders what it would be like to have a dog of her own. A Shiba inu, a Pekinese, a pug, German Shepard?

But of course, she does not say any of this. Her friendship with Nodaka and the others is too precious to her, the only bright spot (apart from the dog walking) in a dull, dreary and sometimes hostile life. So she listens, as Saori waxes lyrical about becoming a teacher, or as Erika enthusiastically talks about the movies she wishes to direct, as the others babble about their high schools of choice.

And of course, she is there whenever Nodaka expresses her hopes and worries about becoming a vet. Which is exactly what happens on the day the cracks finally tear apart and become huge, gaping voids one day in the eighth grade.

"Hey, do you want to have tea or something, before you go home?" Ayumi offers as they turn onto her road. Nodaka pauses mid-sentence, and looks at her.

"Do you know what, Ayumi-Chan? I'd like that. You make a mean tea, after all!"

"I…erm….no, it's not really that great!"

"Yes it is!" Nodaka declares empathetically. "You should like, bottle it up and sell it! You'd be a millionaire in no time."

Ayumi just laughs at this, for Nodaka always said such things to her, and she approaches her front door and fishes for her key, opening the door and announcing her arrival out loud. She slipps off her shoes, and Nodaka does the same, and they both head to the dining room when a deep and unmistakably male voice stops them in their tracks.

"Huh, who's making all this racket, huh?"

A long haired, muscular man wanders out of the bedroom, wearing nothing more than a pair of boxer shorts and a white vest. He rubs his eyes and stumbles a little.

"Oi, Kotori, what's the big deal, coming back so early and so quickly-oh, you're not Kotori, are you?"

Both girls freeze and just stare at the man. Ayumi quickly works out who he must be, though she has never seen this particular man before, but Nodaka looks terrified. He, for his part, just scratches his head, bleary eyed as he stares at them, and then all of a sudden he gasps and leans into their faces.

"Ohh! You're Kotori's kid, aren't you? Well, at least one of you…..you're quite pretty, little one…." He leers at Nodaka, who stumbles back, her face contorted, but he loses interest rapidly and zones in on Ayumi instead. She shivers, wondering what is to come.

"It's you, it has to be. Even though you're so dark, you look like her. So…am I right?" the man straightens and grins, and Ayumi nods woodenly. He lets out an uproarious laugh and then shrugs before turning back and going back into the bedroom again. Ayumi lowers her shoulders when he does, and sighs deeply before turning to Nodaka.

"Hey, Nodaka-san, I'm sorry about that. Do you want tea now…?"

"I…erm…." Nodaka stares at her, as if she'd completely forgotten about the tea. "Actually, Ayumi-Chan, I forgot I have something to do at home! So, um, bye-bye!"

In a sudden frenzy, Nodaka puts her shoes back on and zips out of the house, all before Ayumi can even say goodbye to her. Staring at the door for the moment, Ayumi curses the presence of her mother's latest boyfriend silently before heading to her bedroom and concentrating on her homework (despite said homework being pointless). She stays there for the rest of the evening, ignoring her hunger, and falling asleep at her desk. I hate this life. I hate this. Why did that have to happen now, of all times?

The next morning, as usual, she arrives at school before any of her friends, and she pulls out a book and pretends to read it. Soon, others drift in, and it is not long before she can hear Nodaka coming down the hall. She puts her book down and looks up, expectant. But when Nodaka bursts in with a few of the others and scans the room, she does not come bounding over to drag her out of the chair as she usually does. Instead, she stiffens for a moment before smiling awkwardly and waving woodenly.

I knew it. I knew this would happen. Ayumi just nods and gives a rictus smile back before picking her book up again and continuing her pretend reading of it. She tunes out the loud whispers Erika, Youko and Rikako use to ask Nodaka what happened. It's easier than she would have been led to believe.

…

It takes Ayumi a few months to realise that the young man who comes into the café twice a week is looking at her, and her specifically. His name is Mishima (she hasn't heard his given name yet) and he's fairly new to the café, but already, he's become regarded as a fixture, just like the regulars who've been there for longer. She's come to recognise him just by the way the door sounds when he opens it to enter, and the hats he likes to wear. He's quite fashionable, Ayumi thinks, but she doesn't really know about that sort of thing so she cannot be sure. She finds him interesting, though she tries to be as unobtrusive as possible around him.

Mishima usually comes in quietly, and doesn't go out of his way to greet any of them, but usually one of her other co-workers (all so much older than her), will spot him and greet him with a cheery 'Good Day, Mishima-kun!", to which he nods and smiles, instantly launching into a merry conversation before taking his corner table, right next to the window. Unusually for a 'regular', Mishima doesn't order the same things every time, though he tends towards some kind of tea for his drink. He usually stays for a few hours, reading a novel or a textbook before leaving, and though he tends to be pretty absorbed in this reading, whenever one of them comes over to serve him, or take away his empty plates and cups, he looks up and politely thanks them each time. And for some reason, it's always her he seems happiest to see, and though she smiles and nods back at him, she is baffled each time.

Is it because we're the same age? Ayumi wonders this on one such day, just after Mishima's come in and taken his table. Picking up the cups and plates from the empty table she's clearing, she looks over, curious, watching at how he arranges his things, sits down, opens the book in front of him. He seems self-assured, confident, and happy at his place in the world as opposed to resigned. And then, just before he starts to read, he looks up, and catches her eye.

Oh shit. Ayumi freezes, a plate in her hand. She notices that his eyes are just as dark as her own, and really, really, vivid as he just stares at her. There is something very intense about his gaze now, as if he's putting his all into conveying something to her. A faint pink blush rises up his face, though it is nothing in comparison to the redness she feels heating her own. She feels a strange tingling sensation, deep in her centre, and it unruffles her so badly, especially as she realises that it is a feeling that she likes. What does this mean? I don't understand it.

Argh, focus, Ayumi! Before anything can happen, Ayumi quickly puts everything on the tray, and rushes back to the kitchen, away from Mishima's gaze and blush, away from the feeling which has thankfully started to subside. She moves to quickly wash up the stack that's appeared by the sink, anticipating the grumpy cook in the way she's learnt to do. And, mercy of mercies, she is kept in the kitchen to continue washing up and generally cleaning, keeping her away from Mishima's intensity.

"Men are bad news, Ayumi. Fucking bad news."

The turn in topic startles Ayumi, and she opens her eyes to stare at Mum. She, for her part, still looks pissed that she'd come home to find her boyfriend leering over her own daughter. But not so much, for instead of ranting again, she just yawns and waves her chopstick lazily at her.

"Oh, don't look so surprised. You're quite pretty, you know, even if you look too much like your father, that snippy arsehole. But anyway, you need to know what's what, kid. Men are just bad news; you're better off staying away from them."

Ayumi just nods at this, not really taking it in. She barely remembers the person she once called 'Daddy', all she really recollects are those awful, house-shaking fights. But she does know that her mother is lying in one aspect- the only physical feature she shares with her father is her colouring. Apart from that, she's actually a carbon copy of her mother. Still, it's not like it matters, either way. She'll be striking it out on her own soon enough.

The flashback takes Ayumi by surprise, surfacing as randomly as it had. The incident had happened on the heels of the disintegration of the friendship she'd once had with Nodaka, and it hadn't been that bad, all things considered, so she'd put this particular incident in the back of her mind. But now, as she thinks of Mishima, of the look they just shared and the way he's been watching her since coming to the café, she wonders if he's interested in her like that. She's not stupid, she knows about sex, even if she didn't attend high school she knows the basic biology. She consumes popular media every so often, and not only does she sometimes eavesdrop on her co-workers talking about partners and spouses and exes, she remembers the chatter about childish crushes Nodaka and the others had. And of course, her mother's various boyfriends meant that she couldn't be clueless for long. She'd just always considered herself apart. Beneath it, rather than above it all, but definitely apart from it. Never for a second had she imagined anyone would be interested in her outside of a leering beer-breath context. Ah, what do I do about it? Wait, what am I asking? I can't possibly let myself think it's a good idea to do anything about it.

But as it happens, something gets done about it, something she doesn't expect.

"Hey, Kobayashi-san, Mishima-kun's waiting for you." One of her co-workers, a fellow waitress/dishwasher called Ueno, calls brightly, popping her head around the kitchen door. She's carrying a tray full of cake plates, which Ayumi rushes to take from her.

"Is he?" is all she can think to ask as she does so, automatically going to wash them.

"Yes, he is. I think he's got a little crush on you, Kobayashi-san. So lucky, what I wouldn't give for someone that cute to be interested in me. But then, you're closer to his age, it looks like, so of course you'd be of more interest to him. So, so, what shall I tell him? You're almost done there, right?"

Ayumi looks over at the wall clock, and realises that yes, it's near closing time, so it really is time for her to go home. Back to her little apartment, the one she'd rented with her own money just a year ago. It's dank, and dark and lonely, but she does her best to keep it clean, and one day, when she has a little more, she'll get herself a dog and cut back her hours a little. I wonder, will Mishima-kun still be looking at me then? Realisng that Ueno is waiting for her answer, she nods.

"Once the washing is done, I'll be out."

"Okay then, Kobayashi-san, I'll tell him!"

Ayumi turns on her washing, and gets it done with a surprising, furious intensity. She then hangs up her apron, collects her bag, calls out her usual farewells, and then leaves through the café area rather than going through the back entrance as she usually does. Sure enough, Mishima is waiting, leaning against the wall, reading a book. When he spots her, he pinks up again, but he also beams as they both step outside.

"I..erm…Kobayashi-san, is that right? " he asks, awkward as he does so. Ayumi cringes a little on his behalf.

"Y-yeah." She feels the words carefully as she says them. "Ayumi K-Kobayashi. And you're Mishima-kun, Y-You c-come here quite often."

"Seiji Mishima. "He offers. Ayumi notices how meticulous and mature his voice is, even through his embarrassment. "S-so, erm, I was wondering i-if you'd like to walk home together?"

This was the last thing that Ayumi was expecting, and so she just stares. The poor boy looks down at his shiny brogues, embarrassed. The brim of his spiffy black hat shields his eyes.

"I-I-I'm sorry." He stammers, shuffling a little. "I-I-I didn't mean t-to assume that you were single or anything."

"But….I am." Ayumi is still none the wiser, but the jubilance that Mishima barely manages to clamp down re-triggers the good feeling she had earlier. Ueno-san's assessment is correct. He really is cute.

"Well then, I guess it's alright? Do you live in the university accommodation uptown?" he asks, looking up wildly, his pretty eyes excited.

"No." she decides not to say that she doesn't go to university, not yet. "I have my own apartment. But it's in the opposite direction to you I'm assuming."

Mishima considers this, and then shrugs.

"I don't have to go in for any lectures or seminars tomorrow. I'll walk you there, and then hop on a train to get back. T-that's okay, isn't it?"

"Sure." I'm not sure what else to say. But she won't let him actually see what her apartment looks like. The stylish clothes and mature voice, when pitted against her work uniform and her ignorance, tell her that is the best thing to do.

So they walk together for a while, making the smallest of small talk. And as the journey goes on, Mishima's stammering lessens considerably, and she finds herself able to look at him more fully without her head becoming flooded. She even starts to wonder if, like before with Nodaka, this means she has a chance of friendship. It's a silly thought, for all sorts of reasons, but she is daring to hope again. And when, during a lull, he catches her eye and smiles at her so openly, she allows herself to believe that this hoping will result in something better.

"I can walk by myself from here now, Mishima-kun."

"Eh, are you sure?" Mishima looks around him, and Ayumi can see him gulp as he takes in the surroundings-the rundown buildings and the dank smell that never seems to dissipate, the piles of bin bags and graffiti on the walls- with an astonished stare. She can't really blame him. If she'd had any other options, she wouldn't have lived anywhere near here. No, she would have found somewhere cleaner and happier, where she could own a dog. But it's the best she can get, and it is hers.

"I'm fine, really." She reassures him, trying to play it down. "I'm used to this, after all. You should get home, before someone starts worrying about you." Because someone definitely will be worrying about him.

"Kobayashi-san…." Mishima turns to look at her, still astonished. She wonders why.

"Well then, Kobayashi-san." Mishima says, adjusting his hat so it's back at its jaunty angle. "I'll see you the next time I come in then."

"Likewise, Mishima-kun." She inclines her head at him, and he does the same before she turns and walks away. And though she does not turn back once in the short walk from that point to her own apartment, she gets the feeling that Mishima had been standing there, watching her form until she was out of sight. And as tries to sleep, she finds herself wishing that that was indeed what he had done.

…

Over the next few days and weeks, whenever Mishima comes in, as well as being polite and sweet to whomever serves him, he makes a point of searching out Ayumi to greet her. He also makes a point of waiting until the café has closed to walk her as far as she'll let him. On the days he doesn't, he leaves her a little handwritten note. She starts to make a collection of them, and despite herself, each night she reads them over and over, memorising his handwriting.

A couple of months later, she is at the library when they bump into each other again. To be specific, she is pulling books from the library shelves when he walks down the aisle and makes her jump by calling her name from behind. To make up for the scare, he carries her books for her as she checks them out of the library. Afterwards, he takes her to a nearby café (one that's different to where she works), and for a change, she gets to be a customer. He asks her about what she's studying, and she has the humiliation of explaining that actually, she isn't, she just reads for the sake of it. That, and she wants to keep her knowledge about the animals she so loves fresh.

Before they leave that café, Mishima gives Ayumi his phone number, neatly avoiding the fact she doesn't have a phone herself, and then, the next weekend, once she's called him from a payphone to confirm she's free, he takes her across town to the biggest dog walking park she's ever seen. She goes a little overboard, petting the dogs and asking the owners whether she can play with them as if she was a little kid again. When the day ends and he is walking her back to the usual point they part ways, she apologises for her behaviour, but he tells her straight out that no, she has no reason to apologise. That he finds her genuine enthusiasm cute. Then, he asks her if it's okay for them to start dating. Speechless, she nods. And then works up the courage to tell him that she thinks that he's cute, too.

A few weeks after that, after more dates in the dog walking park, and others in more conventional places like restaurants, one night when he is walking her home from work, he reaches out for her hand, and holds onto it. Surprised at the way his hand feels around her, as well as how it makes her feel, she lets him hold onto it the whole way there. And then she surprises herself when, once they get to the place they part ways, she leans in to kiss him. It is a moment that lasts a life time, and when they can finally bear to walk away, she knows full well that more is to come, and the warmth that produces in her sustains her.

Then, later on, a full seven months after Mishima first walked her home, when they reach the parting place and kiss each other goodbye, instead of walking onwards and waving at him until he's out of sight, she reaches out to hold onto the sleeve of his soft blue jacket (such a pretty colour on him).

"Are you doing anything important tomorrow?" she asks by way of explanation. He wrinkles his nose while he thinks about it.

"Not really. I don't have to go into uni tomorrow, and my deadlines are still a long while away. And I haven't planned anything with my buddies." He tilts his head at her meaningfully. "Why?"

"Well…." She looks up at him, at the face she's come to know so well. And she thinks of how she wants to know more of him, in any way possible. How she wants him close to her, always. What will it be like to turn around in the middle of the night and see him sleeping next to me, to feel his arms around me while we sleep? What will it be like?

"Well…I was thinking. Do you want to stay over, tonight?"

"What, at yours?"

"Where else?" she's learnt to be sarcastic, in the past seven months, and it never fails to make Mishima laugh the way he does now. He straightens up soon enough though, and regards her critically while he thinks about it. Ayumi feels her heart swell at that, knowing that he's making sure that he isn't somehow pressurising her. It's this consideration and care that has swept her away, made her feel ready to take this step. And take it she will. I hope he won't walk away from me afterwards though. I could not bear it.

"Are you sure?" he asks eventually, meeting her eyes in a way that makes her insides melt, in the best way possible. She reaches out to touch his face, still looking him in the eyes. And the answer she gives is a simple one.

"Yes."

From what I understand about Japanese education, while elementary and middle school are compulsory, high school and uni isn't. But it seems like most children continue onwards anyway. But it makes sense that there'd be some exceptions for different reasons. So I made Ayumi one of them. Speaking of that, the reason I chose to call her Ayumi is because that was the only name that I could think of when I first decided to write this (because obviously, she needed a name). I did look it up later, and discovered that the given name of the VA who voices Lisa's mum in the anime is actually 'Ayumi'. Must be where I got it from, somehow, subconsciously. There's no significance to the maiden surname I picked, I just like the surname 'Kobayashi'.

Anyway, as I am treating this like a one-shot though it is actually a something-parter, this won't be updated weekly as I'll only work on this particular project on Sundays. But anyway, whatever, I hope you enjoyed this first part, and please leave feedback!