Title: Rain
Author: Words Couture
Rating: T
Fandom: Naruto
Genre- angst/drama
Warning- hints of sexual abuse, references to sex, slight language
A/N- this is the start of a series of anko centric one-shots. Enjoy! Used the prompt "rain" from muse bunnies. (:
.X.
.We danced in the skies like no tomorrow.
-it rained-
.I drowned.
.X.
…
The adults slept through the rain like nothing, as the children laid awake fearfully, anxiously preparing for the next lightning to strike.
…
I was a child.
You held my hand and forced me to the window, and told me to be afraid of nothing (but you). At the ledge of the window, you slid the glass panels there were the city depths below and the water running from the sky.
With your lips against my ear, you whispered, "Thunder and lighting aren't so frightening."
I imagined you holding me, never letting go, never ever letting go.
I imagined me falling down, from the sky like the droplets of water, falling, falling.
"Someday the city will be ours," you promised me.
Silently I begged for something else.
.X.
You slept like an adult.
I was a child.
.X.
"Come with me,"you whispered, but I said no because I was afraid. I wanted to be the good one. When they found me, they took away my sword. They took away everything you gave me and told me I couldn't be how I wanted to be.
"It's too dangerous," explained that old man, the one you hated for choosing another instead of you. They gave me to a woman with a bony frame and harsh eyes. She told us we could only listen to her. We were called orphans, and she said she was our Queen and if we wanted to run, we could. There were streets and concrete city floors littered with trash and disease.
"There are too many of you," the Queen whispered to me, crawling in my bed the way you used to. My hair is nice, she used to tell me, and she would wrap a strand around her finger. I think of her finger becoming purple and bruised but I don't say anything, because that's not nice and she says that little girls are.
I hate her and her hands, and sometimes I hated you too. But mostly, I liked you. Before you, all I knew about was concrete sidewalks and buildings that had signs that said don't come in.
You let me in.
At the Queen's court we danced like little puppets and she made us paint on these smiles so when we cried she could only see happiness. "What a good Queen you are," she forced us to say and if I kissed her she'd let me sleep in a bed instead of the floor.
"There are too many of you," the Queen whispered, her long fingers combing through my hair. "But I will keep you anyways."
.X.
I drowned.
You flew away.
.X.
I am no longer a child.
The Queen likes only children.
When I left I remembered how I hated her. I remembered that when she fucked me, I tried to think of you. And when she told me I wanted it I wanted to scream at her. I thought of the damned smiles she made us paint on and how the makeup bled off of our faces at the end of the day.
I hated her, but I was never scared of her. When she touched me, when she raked her sharp finger nails against my skin and called it pleasure I was not afraid.
"Do not be afraid of anything," I remembered you saying.
(but me)
When I was presented with the door, I did not think of concrete, but rain and the way it felt on my hand when you shoved my hand into open sky- what everyone fears to do in this city. I had not felt sky for years, not since you forced me too. The makeup dripped off my face like melting plastic; replaced with it was a small but real smile.
The next time it rains is the first time I see you in years. You dared to slither into the city when the streets are empty and the skies are dark. It's as if you've tricked yourself into believing that maybe the rain can wash away your scent. "Shh, Anko," you whispered to me, your arm at my throat as you cornered me into the alleys. "You're treating me quite cold."
"Fuck off," I whispered, and I was probably high because I was seeing colors that didn't exist. My shoulder tingled when you brushed your finger against it. "Don't touch me," I hissed out, like one of your snakes. I was ready to fight and I was ready to die.
"Do you remember anything I taught you?" There was disapproval in your eyes and I hated it, I still hate it. Through those damn colors I tried to look into your eyes. I couldn't remember what color they were.
"The rain," I mumbled backing against the wall. "Don't be… afraid."
Your lips were on mine just like when I belonged to you. I knew what I was supposed to, but I didn't want to push you off. Then you picked me up like I'm some fucking princess and we went to my castle.
I blame the drugs.
.X.
Rain, rain, go away.
Come again another day.
.X.
When I wake up, you are gone and I pretend nothing has happened. There are kids outside who are practicing what I used to do, throwing knives and calling themselves shinobi.
It rains again, and I wait at that alley you cornered me in, high off of something again and somehow you know to come again. This time, I kiss you first. You don't need this, I know. You want to make this city yours, but all I want is you. I cradle my arms around you and remember that your eyes are gold and green and snakelike. The mark on my neck tingles. I kind of like it.
"Rain, rain," I murmur, because that's the only time you visit, when everyone is inside and the droplets fall. "Come again." You don't pay attention to me, and your hands are free. So are mine.
Like last time, we go into my dank apartment but I refuse to fall asleep. "Please," I murmured. "Rain, rain."
Your eyes are laced with frustration and confusion. "Anko," you murmur angrily. "Speak like a normal person."
"I hate this city," I told him, my hands not letting go. "Please."
You oblige, and I don't need to think. Maybe it's the drug and maybe it's me.
I will never be enough for you.
But you are enough for me.
.X.
Rain, rain,
Go away.
.i am not.
-afraid-
.X.
a/n- phew, so that's done… I haven't written fanfiction for a long time, plus I' m suffering from the horrid writer's block. Therefore, I am using prompts to fight it!
Feel free to leave a prompt. It'll help loads.
Thanks for reading!
The review jar is below.