Warnings:Character Death, this fic also has some more detailed trigger warnings but they are fairly spoilery (for the fic itself) so I made them a separate post so that people who wanted to see them would have access to them but if people wanted to read without them, they could go ahead (for those wondering if they need to look at them, these triggers do not involve issues of consent). You are also welcome to contact me via my ask/fanmail or by emailing me at iaminarage . I will be happy to talk about the warnings with you but please give me a way to answer you back (either ask off-anon on tumblr or email me) so that I can talk to you without telling everyone the ending.
Betas: reblogthiscrapkay and loveinisolation were the primary betas on this fic and without them it absolutely would not have happened. artist-artists, bowtiesforbows, and happydaysarehere25 also generously test read this for me and I feel 100% more confident posting it because of them.
Notes: First of all, on spoilers. If you are familiar with Bare: A Pop Opera and you choose to review (THANK YOU), please do not post spoilers for the ending in your comments (at least until the last chapter). If you do want to talk to me about the ending, feel free to contact me as listed above. If you are not familiar with Bare: A Pop Opera and you want to read this fic without knowing what is going to happen, do not google or check the tumblr tag for Bare: A Pop Opera or Bare: The Musical. You will find out all the details pretty much right away. If you aren't familiar with them and want to check them out, by all means go for it and feel free to message me for information, but you will get spoiled for the end of this fic. If you want to know how this fic came to be, that's over here.
The title of this fic is taken from the song Bedroom Hymns by Florence + The Machine which does make sense with this fic if you think about it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the associated characters. I also do not own Bare: A Pop Opera (or Bare: The Musical). No copyright infringement is intended. This fic is an AU based on Bare and, as such, the plot and many of the scenes are heavily inspired by Bare and some pieces may be paraphrased. This is a blanket disclaimer for the fic. There are a very few actual quotes from Bare: A Pop Opera and Bare: The Musical used in the fic and I will acknowledge these separately in the end notes.
Background information: There are a couple of things you do need to know before you start reading this fic. This fic takes place in the spring of 2012. All of the characters who were seniors in season 3 are seniors in this fic but Sebastian, Lauren, and Artie are also seniors. Dalton is a co-ed Catholic boarding school. Sebastian Smythe and Lauren Zizes are twins (this is sort of required by Bare, it grows on you, I promise) which means that I'll use the name Lauren Smythe for her but we are still talking about the same person.
Thinking of knocking a priest out with a textbook in order to shut him up was probably a sin, Kurt thought. But in Father Will's case, it seemed like it might be the only solution. The priest had kept him after class for long enough that the halls had cleared and he'd somehow managed not to say anything that made any sense. The last thing Kurt wanted to do at the end of the day on Friday was listen to Father Will ramble.
He shoved his Spanish book angrily into his locker, as if he could punish the book for Father Will's complete ineptness. He heard footsteps coming down the hallway but didn't look up until a long, slim body leaned against the wall next to him.
"Hey little boy, would you like a ride?" Kurt shot Sebastian a withering look. "A lollipop? A puppy?" When his expression didn't change, Sebastian put a hand on Kurt's waist and continued, "How about a lacrosse stick? There's one in my pants."
Kurt finally cracked and rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Sebastian," he said, "but I'm just not interested in anyone who plays short stick. If you know what I mean." He started to walk away but Sebastian grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back in to crowd him up against the locker.
"You little asshole," Sebastian said fondly.
"If you want to be believable, you have to stop looking so proud," he retorted.
"Never." Sebastian looked around to make sure the halls were clear before dropping a quick kiss to Kurt's lips. "Hi," he said softly as he ran his hand up Kurt's chest to curl around the back of his neck. "How was your day?"
Kurt laughed gently and looped his arms around Sebastian's back to pull him a bit closer. "Oh, you know. Father Will is an idiot."
"Behold my shock," Sebastian deadpanned.
Kurt bit his lip, wondering what Sebastian's reaction would be to the question he'd been dying to ask.
Sebastian caught his look and sighed. "Okay, what is it?"
"Sister Emma announced the spring play today," he said as he moved his hands down Sebastian's back to his waist. "It's Romeo and Juliet."
Sebastian blinked and waited for him to finish.
Kurt slid his hand under Sebastian's sweater, smiling when Sebastian leaned back into his touch. "I was thinking you might try out with me this year?"
Sebastian sighed. "Kurt, we go through this every year and my answer is always the same!" Kurt looked up at him, eyes wide and pleading. "And don't think I don't know what you're doing with the eyes and the touching! It's not going to work."
Kurt grinned wickedly and shifted his leg where it rested between Sebastian's. "It's working a little bit."
Sebastian closed his eyes as Kurt's leg rubbed against him, but when he opened them he had a determined look on his face. "I'm not going to try out for Romeo and Juliet. I don't act."
Kurt gave a derisive laugh at the irony of this statement. "Aside from every minute of your life?"
"Not every minute," Sebastian said seriously. "Not when I'm with you."
Kurt locked eyes with Sebastian and they stared at each other for a few seconds. Then Sebastian shook his head to defuse the seriousness of the moment and said, "Speaking of which, I have an hour free and I was thinking of going back to our room to take a nap before practice ..."
Kurt pulled his arms away from Sebastian and crossed them indignantly. "You can't always distract me with sex!"
"I plan to dedicate my life to trying to prove you wrong on that," Sebastian retorted.
Kurt glared at Sebastian, adjusted the strap of his bag, and pushed his way out of Sebastian's arms. He turned back as he walked away and took a moment to enjoy the look of disappointment on Sebastian's face. "Well? Aren't you coming? You can't afford to dawdle around here if you only have an hour."
Sebastian's face lit up and he rushed to catch up with Kurt.
Kurt gave him a warning look. "Don't think this conversation is over, Sebastian Smythe. We're coming back to it."
"Sure, Kurt. Okay. Then why are we leaving now?"
Kurt crossed his arms again and narrowed his eyes at Sebastian. "It's tough to argue with a hard-on."
At this, Sebastian burst into laughter. He put his hands on Kurt's back and pushed him along down the hallway. "In that case, I will try to solve this problem for you as quickly as possible. I know how much pain you must be in ... being unable to argue."
Forty-five minutes later, Kurt was watching Sebastian dress for practice in his Dalton Lacrosse t-shirt and shorts. He was considering getting out of bed, but he figured he'd wait until he was done appreciating the view.
"A bunch of us are meeting in the lounge in a little bit to watch movies," Kurt said, "you should come when you're done with practice."
Sebastian looked up from where he was digging through his sock drawer. "Who's coming?"
"Does it matter? Mercedes, Artie, Tina ... some subset of your non-lacrosse-playing friends?"
"Oh, right. Those people," Sebastian said. He straightened up, having finally found what he was looking for. He crossed over to where Kurt was still sitting on his bed and sat down next to him to put on his socks and shoes. "Yeah, I'm in. I'll bring the guys back with me. Just watch your hands around Mercedes this time. Sam looked like he was going to take your arm off last week."
Kurt giggled. If only Sam knew. "Well, people thinking I'm in danger of putting the moves on a girl can only be considered a good thing but … seriously? Mercedes and I have been friends since freshman year!"
Sebastian turned to rest a hand on Kurt's bare chest and said, "Babe, we've been friends since freshman year too." Then he kissed Kurt to make his point. Kurt moved to deepen the kiss and whined when Sebastian pulled away. Sebastian smiled softly at the sound but said, "I really, really wish I could stay."
Kurt nodded and Sebastian kissed him one more time, quickly, and left.
Kurt and his friends were sitting in the senior lounge about to put in their second movie when the rest of the guys returned from lacrosse practice.
"What are we watching?" Mike said, taking a seat next to Tina.
"We're watching Romeo and Juliet because, apparently, some of these fools need to do their research before auditions," Lauren said, looking up from her PSP.
"Then why aren't you watching it? You always audition," Puck said.
"Because I am already too hot to handle, Puckerman. No research required." Lauren returned to her game leaving Puck looking shell shocked and, Kurt thought, fairly impressed.
Kurt locked eyes with Sebastian, who had settled down next to Brittany and draped one arm over her shoulder. He glanced over at Puck and Lauren and then raised one eyebrow as if to ask what that was all about. Sebastian just rolled his eyes fondly and shook his head.
"Dude, you guys are all trying out, right?" Sam said, looking around at his teammates. Mike, Finn, and Puck nodded but Sebastian looked offended.
"Trying out? For the play? Are you kidding?"
"Chicks dig the sensitive actor types!" Puck pointed out and Artie fist bumped him.
"Well, I'm not trying out," Santana said, looking bored with the line of conversation. "Romeo and Juliet is a lame play. The only girls in it are a nurse and a dumbass who commits suicide over some player she's known for three days."
"You have to try out, Sebastian," Sugar said, a note of pleading in her voice. "Obviously all of your friends will be there. And you would be the cutest Romeo!" Sebastian answered her with a wink. Kurt rolled his eyes at this. He would never understand why Sebastian thought he had to flirt with every single girl he'd ever met in order to convince people that he was straight. Kurt never bothered to flirt with anyone and no one had ever said anything about it. And he didn't have the added layer of protection that Sebastian had by being a star athlete.
"Obviously Finn and I are perfect for Romeo and Juliet," Rachel said.
"I didn't realize we were doing the version of Romeo and Juliet where Romeo kills himself because he's tired of the sound of Juliet's voice," Lauren quipped. Sebastian snorted and raised a hand to offer her a high five.
"You two are insufferable!" Rachel shouted and stormed out. Finn followed behind her looking resigned.
"I assume it would be overkill to high five again?" Sebastian said.
Kurt thought about it for a moment. "That has to be the fastest Rachel Berry storm out on record. She must be feeling really tense about auditions."
"Berry is wound too tightly. There is no explanation," Santana said. "So are we doing this movie thing or not?"
Kurt woke up in the wee hours of the morning on Saturday to find Sebastian sleeping with his head on Kurt's chest. Despite the advantage of being roommates, they didn't often spend the entire night in the same bed. Whether it was the specter of theoretical bed checks that had yet to materialize, or the fear that if they crossed this one last line of intimacy too often the lies would become unbearable he wasn't sure, but Kurt couldn't bring himself to wake Sebastian and send him back to his own bed. A few months ago he probably would have, but with graduation looming ahead of him and his whole life about to change, Sebastian's arm around his waist felt like an anchor.
So instead he watched the other boy sleep. He ran his hand through Sebastian's hair and thought about how much younger his friend looked without the weight of expectations and secrets pressing down on him. Kurt couldn't help but worry about how long they could go on like this. They'd survived three and a half years of hiding who they were except when they were alone. More than survived, really. Looking back, Kurt barely recognized the angry, terrified boy he'd been the day he arrived at Dalton. Sebastian had been the first person Kurt had met the day his father dropped him off. He'd stormed away from his father as soon as he had gotten the keys to his new dorm room, leaving Burt standing in the atrium filling out forms. When he'd opened the door to his room, he'd found the cutest boy he'd ever seen sitting on one of the twin beds cheerfully flinging a lacrosse ball against the opposing wall as hard as he could. And his life had never been the same.
Snarky, confident, gorgeous Sebastian was, in his own way, so much more of an orphan than Kurt. But wallowing wasn't Sebastian's style and he seldom let Kurt get away with it either. He'd dragged Kurt to the orientation social the day they met and, without even really realizing it, he'd forced Kurt to get to know their fellow classmates, to join in, and to be happy again. If Sebastian caught Kurt lying in his room staring at the ceiling, he'd climb into bed with Kurt and kiss him until all of his dark thoughts flew away. And when moments of missing his mother crept up on him, Sebastian would simply hold Kurt's hand, letting him know that he wasn't alone. Those first months with Sebastian had been like the first glorious day of spring after a long winter and, although they had their fair share of fights, they'd been each other's best friends ever since. Kurt barely knew who he would be at this point without the other boy.
It wasn't all easy. Sebastian had his own dark moments when his frustration at his parents' insane expectations would overwhelm him. And the only thing Sebastian hated more than his parents was the idea of letting them down. And then there were the secrets. As amazing as his relationship with Sebastian was, it was always a struggle to keep it behind closed doors. There were so many public moments when he had to ball his fists in his pockets instead of reaching out for his best friend, or school his features so that no one would see the dreamy way he wanted to look at Sebastian.
There was a part of Kurt that knew that what they were doing was wrong. He'd heard enough sermons on the evils of homosexuality to know that. And it terrified him to think that the thing that was keeping him sane could damn him. When he was younger, he'd prayed every day to be straight. He would sit in church and listen to Father Will's words about hell and sin and wish that he could make his feelings for Sebastian stop. But then Sebastian would smile at him and Kurt would wonder how he could ever wish what they had away. He'd passed the point of no return and all he could do was try not to think about what God or Father Will or his classmates would think if they found out. He needed Sebastian too much.
He knew that it got to Sebastian, too. Sebastian hadn't cared much about God in a long time, but his father was a different matter. Kurt couldn't help but wonder if the day was coming when Sebastian would decide that it was time to be the person that his father wanted him to be. He couldn't help but be afraid that, at some point, Sebastian would give this all up and decide to make an attempt at a real life with one of the many girls who always seemed to flock around him. One day, Sebastian might find a girl who would give him the one thing that Kurt never could: a life that he could live without secrets or shame. And Kurt had no idea what he'd do if that happened.
But that day wasn't today. Today he had Sebastian sleeping in his arms. Kurt pulled the other boy closer as a reminder. And he laughed quietly to himself at the realization that he was lucky Sebastian was such a ridiculously heavy sleeper. If the other boy had any idea that Kurt was watching him sleep and mulling over their past and future, he'd be told off for thinking too much. And probably for being sentimental and creepy. Life was easier for Sebastian if he could treat it all as a joke.
Two weeks later, Kurt was sitting in the auditorium with almost all of his friends and a significant proportion of the rest of the school, Sebastian not included. Despite the relentless peer pressure from both Kurt and his teammates, he hadn't changed his mind about auditioning.
"Okay, everyone! We're going to audition with the balcony scene. We'll have all the girls read for Juliet and all the boys read for Romeo, regardless of what part you are interested in," Sister Emma said as she looked around the room. "I guess that means that the boys will have to read more than once so that all of the girls get a chance."
Artie, who was stage managing the show, rolled down the aisle handing out copies of the scene. "We'll give you all a few minutes to read this over and then start calling people up."
Kurt didn't have to study the scene too much to be prepared. He had read Romeo and Juliet about a dozen times in preparation for auditions and, although he knew he wasn't exactly Leonardo DiCaprio, he also knew that he had an excellent chance of getting a good role. He was one of the few boys who were really familiar with reading Shakespeare, and there were already not enough boys for the number of guys' parts in the show.
"Okay," Sister Emma said, "let's start with Kurt and ... Sugar!"
Sugar gave him a smile as they climbed up to the stage.
"Are you ready?" Artie said. They both nodded. "And scene."
"I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo," Kurt read.
"What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night so stumblest on my counsel?!" Sugar shouted back at him. Kurt winced.
"Sugar!" Emma said. "Remember, this is a secret meeting. You don't want to wake the village. Or the dead."
The rest of the students laughed. Sugar took the volume down after that, but she still managed to read every word with the exact same tone. By the end of the scene, Kurt felt pretty good about his performance. He knew he'd sounded confident speaking the lines, but he was glad that he'd get a second chance to read with someone who might give him a bit more to work with.
After about the third time hearing the same scene, Kurt started to get tired of it. He sat in the back and had a whispered conversation with Mercedes while they waited to be called back to the stage.
His second time up he read with Rachel. She was definitely much better than Sugar which helped Kurt's performance, but she also seemed to be trying too hard. Kurt had a feeling that she wasn't going to be cast as Juliet and he already felt bad for Finn. There was going to be a huge meltdown if Rachel Barbara Berry didn't get to be the star her senior year and Kurt was planning to do everything in his power to avoid her. But Finn wouldn't be able to hide.
Lauren was the last girl to read for Juliet, and when she and Sam jumped off stage Sister Emma turned to face the group. "Okay, I think we're done. Did I miss anyone?"
Kurt heard the door at the back of the theatre open. "Am I too late to audition?" Kurt's eyes went wide in shock at the sound of Sebastian's voice.
Mercedes turned to him and whispered, "Did you know he was auditioning?"
Kurt shook his head as he heard Sister Emma say, "No, of course not. Just come right up here. I'm sure one of these ladies will be willing to read with you." At this, nearly every girl in the auditorium threw an arm up to volunteer.
Sebastian grinned and walked over to where Kurt was sitting to drop off his stuff. "Now ladies," he said to the group, "don't hurt yourselves; there's plenty of Sebastian Smythe to go around."
Kurt shook his head at Sebastian and handed him a copy of the script.
As Sebastian headed up to the stage, Kurt looked up at Artie and Sister Emma. Sister Emma looked floored at the number of volunteers, but Artie appeared to be glaring daggers at Sebastian. Kurt couldn't figure out any reason for this. After all, it wasn't like Artie was auditioning.
When Sister Emma asked Quinn to read Juliet, Artie's glare only intensified. He looked over at Mercedes and saw that she'd noticed the direction of Artie's glare as well. "Artie and Quinn?" Mercedes asked.
"That's what it looks like, isn't it?" Kurt replied. "But it doesn't look like she knows."
"She'd probably work her way around to Artie at some point," Mercedes said uncharitably. "There can't be too many guys left in this school that she hasn't slept with."
Kurt wasn't surprised by this exaggeration. Quinn didn't exactly jump in and out of bed with a different guy each night, but she seldom waited for more than a few dates and her relationships tended to fizzle out quickly. Actually, one of her longest relationships had been with Sam last year, so Mercedes wasn't exactly her biggest fan.
Kurt was jogged from his contemplation of Artie's apparent feelings by Quinn and Sebastian beginning to read the scene. He was surprised to realize that they were good together. Quinn was much softer and sweeter than most of the other girls, but she wasn't shy and she didn't stumble over her words. Sebastian read the lines well, but he also looked at Quinn as if she was the only thing in the world. Kurt felt just a bit of jealousy rise up in him as he recognized that look. It was the look Sebastian gave him in quiet moments when they were alone. Kurt worked to stamp the feeling down, reminding himself that Sebastian was acting. And, judging by Sister Emma's rapt expression, Kurt was going to have to get used to seeing him do it.
"O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard. Being in night, all this is but a dream, too flattering-sweet to be substantial," Sebastian read, ending the audition. The entire auditorium applauded, but Kurt noticed that the girls were applauding much more enthusiastically than the boys.
"Good! Thank you very much," Sister Emma said to Sebastian and Quinn. Then she turned to address the group again. "Thank you so much for auditioning everyone. I will post the cast list next Monday before lunch."
Everyone stood to gather their things and Sebastian hopped off the stage and walked back over to Kurt, accepting congratulations on his way.
"So, Mr. Popularity, what made you decide to audition at the absolute last possible moment?" Kurt asked when Sebastian reached him. Sebastian looked around to make sure that no one was paying them any attention and then leaned down to gather his stuff from the floor. Kurt leaned down as well and Sebastian said, just loud enough for Kurt to hear him over the sounds of their classmates packing up, "this cute boy kept asking me to and, about half an hour ago, I figured out that I had no idea why I kept saying no."
Kurt grinned at him. "A cute boy was asking you? Who was it? I'm sure I can take him!"
Sebastian winked at Kurt and stood up as Quinn walked up to them.
"You did a really great job, Sebastian," she said. "I really hope we get to play Romeo and Juliet together." Kurt thought she was gazing at Sebastian a bit too dreamily. He sighed to himself. Yet another complication.
"Thanks, you too!" Sebastian said. "If we do get cast, I'll be happy to help you practice." He leered at her a bit.
Quinn smiled up at him and then allowed Brittany to drag her out of the auditorium.
"Watch who you encourage," Kurt said. "One of these days, one of them is actually going to fall in love with you."
"With me?" Sebastian said with a laugh. "I have a terrible reputation. Why would anyone fall in love with me?"
"No idea," Kurt said, rolling his eyes fondly. "I'll see you after practice?"
"As always!" Sebastian backed out of the auditorium, grinning at Kurt.
The following Monday, everyone was on edge waiting for the cast list to be posted. When the bell finally rang for the end of the final period before lunch, it seemed like the entire school took off towards the atrium. By the time Kurt and Sebastian got there, a fairly sizable crowd had already gathered around the list. Rachel Berry was in front, of course.
"This must be a mistake!" Kurt heard her announce over the crowd. "There's no way that Quinn is Juliet. I was born to play Juliet!"
"I guess Sister Emma missed the memo. Did you remember to put a gold star sticker on it when you sent it to her?" Lauren asked.
At that point, Kurt stopped listening to Lauren and Rachel because Quinn was pushing through the crowd to get to Sebastian. "Looks like you're my Romeo!"
"Oh really?" Sebastian said with a wink. "That could be a real challenge for you. Girls have been known to forget everything they were going to say when they see me."
"Sebastian, stop!" Quinn said, slapping his arm lightly.
Kurt decided he was tired of this display and headed up to read the cast list. Lauren was still up there. She held her hand out to him for a fist bump when he approached. Kurt returned it and said, "Why are we fist bumping?"
"We are fist bumping because I'm playing the nurse and you're playing Mercutio. Which means we did pretty damn well," Lauren explained.
"Really?" Kurt said, scanning the cast list for himself and confirming that she was right. He grinned. He wasn't Romeo, but he hadn't expected to be. And this meant he'd get to do the Queen Mab speech.
"Although, if you want to play star crossed lovers with me, I am willing to take out blondie and my asshole brother to make that happen," Lauren said.
"I can't believe my sister and my best friend are plotting against me!" Sebastian had come behind Lauren as she spoke. "I am distraught. Absolutely distraught."
"You'll get over it, I'm sure." Lauren rolled her eyes at him. "Besides, Kurt has every right to plot against you. Not only has he put up with being your best friend all these years, but now he has to put up with playing your best friend!"
Sebastian turned to him. "You got Mercutio?" When Kurt nodded, Sebastian looked uncharacteristically awkward for a moment and then grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him in for a back slapping hug.
"Are you guys coming to lunch?" Lauren asked as she shifted her bag up onto her shoulder.
"We'll be there in a minute," Sebastian said. "I want to read the rest of the cast list. I need to know who I get to stab."
Lauren shrugged and headed out, leaving Sebastian and Kurt alone in the atrium.
"Really?" Kurt asked, once he was sure she was gone. "A bro hug?"
Sebastian laughed and reached out to pull Kurt to him. "Sorry, but I figured my sister would be a bit surprised if I stuck my tongue in your mouth in celebration."
"Is that not a normal reaction between best guy friends?" Kurt said, running his hands up Sebastian's chest.
"Not that I've noticed," Sebastian said as he leaned in and kissed Kurt gently.
When Sebastian pulled back, Kurt said, "Thanks Romeo, but I believe I was promised tongue."
Sebastian chuckled and disentangled himself from Kurt. "Raincheck? I don't want to push our luck."
Kurt sighed and reached out to tug the wrinkles out of Sebastian's shirt where he'd grabbed it. "Okay, now we can go to lunch without arousing suspicion. Am I good?"
Sebastian looked him up and down and nodded. As they headed for lunch, Kurt caught himself imagining what it would be like if he could just reach out and take Sebastian's hand as they walked down the hall.
Kurt spent the first half of lunch listening to Sebastian, Sam, and Mike debate the finer points of their next opponent's defensive scheme. Kurt was, as always, horrified to realize that he actually understood what they were talking about. He'd never had any interest in sports, but as Sebastian's roommate it seemed he'd learned the rules by association. (Sebastian had once insisted that Kurt had learned them by ingestion and had found himself unceremoniously pushed out of bed and onto the floor). Once, during a game, Kurt had even found himself yelling at a referee about a particularly vicious (and definitely illegal) hit that Sebastian had taken.
Kurt had become completely tired of the debate, so he turned to the other side of the table where the girls were sitting. Unfortunately, they turned out to be discussing something even more terrifying.
"Quinn, didn't you sleep with Lurch two years ago? Why don't you tell Berry what it will be like?" Santana said with a dry laugh.
"That's really not necessary, thank you!" Rachel said, alarmed. Kurt understood how she felt. The last thing he wanted to know about was his step-brother's sex life.
Unfortunately, Quinn answered the question. "Look, all I'm going to say is that I blinked and it was over."
Thankfully, before Kurt could be scarred any further, Sugar came over to their table and motioned for everyone to come closer. "I just got a text from my friend from summer camp, Jeff. He lives about half an hour from here and his parents are going to be out of town for the weekend. He's having a party on Friday and he told me to bring whoever I want."
Finn and Puck high-fived. Sam said, "Sebastian's driving!"
"Wait," Sebastian said, looking affronted, "no fucking way. Why would I be driving?"
"Sorry, dude," Finn replied, "but you finished last in the beer pong tournament at the last party which, as we all know, means you drive this time."
Sebastian glared at him. "I don't remember doing anything of the sort."
Santana crossed her arms. "Bullshit, Smythe. There's no way you don't remember. You're basically the only person we know who always remembers everything the next morning."
Kurt knew that Santana had him caught. Sebastian's ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol without ever blacking out was basically legendary.
"Exactly." Sebastian shot her a smug smile. "So if I don't remember it, it didn't happen."
"Sorry big brother," Lauren cut in, "you aren't getting out of this one. We were all there."
Sebastian narrowed his eyes at her and then crossed his arms, accepting defeat.
"Okay," Puck said, "if anyone wants me to acquire anything for the party, let me know by Wednesday."
"Apparently I don't need anything!" Sebastian said, obviously still pouting.
Puck looked disappointed. "Man, this whole Sebastian driving thing is going to majorly hurt my sales."
At that moment, the bell rang and they all began to gather their stuff.
"Remember: by Wednesday!" Puck said as they split up to go to their separate classes.
Sebastian walked into their room after practice on Friday to find Kurt staring very intently into a closet that distinctly did not belong to him. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of trouble he was going to get into. Kurt taking too much interest in his clothes was never a good thing for Sebastian. It usually meant he was going to have to save something from being burned.
He pressed a quick kiss to the side of Kurt's hair on his way to put down his backpack. "What item of my clothing has offended you now?"
"Can I borrow this for tonight?" Kurt said as if he hadn't heard the question.
Sebastian walked over to Kurt, wrapped his arms around his waist, and hooked his chin over Kurt's shoulder to see what he was holding. The shirt in question was an unremarkable white Henley. "After all these years of being told how offensive my wardrobe is, I am absolutely shocked to find out you want to borrow something! Did you hit your head? Should I call a doctor?"
"Oh, shut up. I don't hate everything you own. Just most of it. It's perfectly possible to pick out a decent outfit from your closet." Kurt turned slightly in Sebastian's arms and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. When he pulled away, he said, "Well, possible for me."
Sebastian laughed and pulled Kurt closer. "You win, you asshole. You can borrow my shirt and I'll even let you pick out my outfit." Kurt hummed in satisfaction as Sebastian pressed a kiss to the base of his neck. He reached down with his free hand to tangle his fingers with Sebastian's.
Sebastian kissed his way slowly up the side of Kurt's neck and breathed into his ear, "Are you sure you don't want to stay in tonight?"
A shudder ran up Kurt's back and he dropped the shirt he was still holding. "That's really not fair," he said, spinning around to kiss Sebastian properly. After a moment though, he pulled back. "But if we don't go, everyone will want to know why."
Sebastian groaned. "We could tell them all we both got sick suddenly. Maybe we have one of those 24 hour colds. Or, like, Ebola or something." He buried his face in Kurt's shoulder.
Kurt laughed and patted his back. "Poor Sebastian. Cockblocked by your own popularity again. You should learn to think this through before you make plans."
Sebastian straightened up. "I really should. I suffer from a terrible lack of foresight. Okay, what am I wearing?"
Sebastian lounged around while Kurt went through their closets as if it was a life or death situation. In the end, Kurt ended up wearing Sebastian's white Henley, a black vest, and black jeans. After a few arguments, Sebastian was finally convinced to wear a blue plaid button down open over a white t-shirt and his tightest pair of jeans (which were still not tight enough in Kurt's opinion).
Kurt looked Sebastian over critically from where he sat on his bed. "Do I pass the test?" Sebastian asked with a cocky smile.
"Not quite," he replied, "c'mere." Sebastian walked over to him. Kurt pulled on his hand until Sebastian's arm was held up between them. Sebastian caught his eyes as Kurt slowly rolled his sleeve up a few turns. He held his other arm up for Kurt without breaking their gaze.
Kurt's fingers brushed Sebastian's forearm as he rolled up the other sleeve. "This is not helping convince me that we need to leave," Sebastian said.
Kurt dropped Sebastian's arm and pushed him away lightly. Sebastian dutifully backed up so that Kurt could get a better view. "Now you pass the test."
Sebastian walked out into the crisp March air. He needed a break from the mass of dancing, happy people stuffed into Jeff's house. He walked down the path and sat on a low wall surrounding a garden.
Sebastian looked up at the sky and took several breaths. He heard the front door open and looked up to see Kurt walking towards him. A rush of heat ran through him at the sight of his friend. Kurt was just tipsy enough to be loose and relaxed and Sebastian loved him this way.
As he came close to Sebastian, Kurt looked him up and down and said, "Are you alright? I saw you leave."
"I'm fine," Sebastian said, "I just needed some air." He reached a hand out to Kurt who took it and allowed himself to be pulled closer.
"Okay," Kurt said. He looked to make sure there was no one else around and then nudged Sebastian's knees apart slightly to stand in between them and drape his arms around the other boy's shoulders. "You've been weird tonight."
"Oh?"
"You've been avoiding me like crazy," Kurt said, biting his lip.
Sebastian took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his heart which was racing at having Kurt so close to him. "Ah. That." Kurt looked at him expectantly. "You're kind of driving me crazy tonight," Sebastian said, resting his hands on Kurt's hips. "I'm afraid to be around you in front of everyone. Like they all might be able to see that I'm wishing I could blow you in the middle of the dance floor."
Kurt threw his head back laughing. "God, Sebastian, you are such a romantic."
Sebastian grinned. "I try."
Kurt sobered then and looked down at him. "It shouldn't have to be like this. You shouldn't have to avoid me to make sure no one can tell you want me. We should be able to walk into a party holding hands and dance together like everyone else. We should be able to tell our friends and family the truth!"
Sebastian's heart clenched at the hurt in Kurt's eyes. "I know, Kurt, I do. But that isn't the world we live in right now. And I'd rather have you and lie than not have you at all."
Kurt shifted a little to bring one hand up to rest against Sebastian's cheek. "Me too, of course me too. But we can't live this way forever."
Sebastian sighed. "Kurt, you know I don't plan my future." He'd never seen the point in pretending he had any say.
Kurt nodded and then leaned down to kiss him softly. Sebastian slipped one hand under Kurt's shirt – his shirt, he remembered with a thrill – needing the feel of skin under his fingertips.
Kurt pulled back slightly and whispered "I love you" against his lips. At this, Sebastian could only stand up and pull Kurt closer to him. He kissed his friend as hard as he could, pouring all the things he couldn't say into the kiss, and hoped that Kurt would understand.
Neither of them saw that Artie had come out onto the porch and was watching them.
End Notes: If anyone didn't get Kurt's joke about not being interested in someone who plays short stick, in lacrosse there are both short sticks (42 inches) and long sticks (72 inches). Sebastian plays attack (offense only) in this fic, which means he uses a short stick. Here's a visual.
Somehow basically all of the direct quotes in this fic ended up in this chapter so here they are:
The line "Hey little boy would you like a ride, a lollipop, a puppy? How about a baseball bat, there's one in my pants?" comes from the song You and I from Bare: A Pop Opera (although I've switched it to lacrosse stick for obvious reasons and probably confused everyone who knows the show well enough that the song started playing in their head when they started to read this line). The line "it's tough to argue with a hard-on" also comes from that song as does "I don't act" (which was mildly unintentional).
Emma's line "Remember, this is a secret meeting. You don't want to wake the village. Or the dead." comes from Sister Joan in the audition scene of Bare: The Musical.
Quinn's line "I blinked and it was over" comes from the song Confessions in Bare: A Pop Opera.
I possibly also owe acknowledgement to one of my college friends for loudly informing me in calculus class that she hated Romeo and Juliet because "Romeo was a player and Juliet was an idiot," not that she's ever going to read this. Amusingly, if you had to come up with a person who was the least like Santana in the world, it might be her.