My Immortal
Sif threw her legs over the side of the bed and heaved a sigh.
What are you doing?
Then she stood and crept quietly out into the golden corridor.
The floor was cold on her aching feet and her hair fell in disarray all over her shoulders. She was also still in her night gown. Then she found Loki's room.
Why are you doing this?
She shook her head slowly as if to say she didn't know and opened the large golden pair of doors.
The sight of his room was enough to bring back a thousand memories and she felt a tugging at her heart. His books were neat. Tidy, even. Probably stacked by servants long ago, awaiting the return of their prince.
Loki wouldn't have liked that. He was quite picky about having things the way he left them.
She approached the stack of books and picked one up curiously. She turned it over a couple of times, examining it. The title read, "Advanced Alchemy & Sorcery".
Sif chuckled and set the book down. Her eyes flickered to Loki's bed.
She hesitantly approached it. The sheets were an emerald green with a satin gold lining. She held out a hand and stroked them softly. When she got up enough courage she lifted the sheets and melded into his bed.
She inhaled deeply, savoring Loki's lingering scent. Like old books, and magic. Now that she thought about it, magic had a scent. She had smelled it so many times on Loki.
When she exhaled she let out a choked sob, wanting only the comfort of Loki's arms. Maybe if she had told him about her feeling he would not have been so indifferent. He wouldn't have tried to destroy himself, and when that failed, destroy everything else.
She had rejected him when they were young, wanting Thor, and in turn he rejected her. She could understand in ways no one else could, regarding Thor. She had also been the root of many of Loki's insecurities but she doubted he blamed her for each one.
There was one instance, as teenagers, where Loki had comforted Sif. The memory was quite clear. Thor and Sif had been hunting.
Sif trotted alongside Thor, head held high. She held Bilgesnipe antlers in her right hand.
Thor looked over at Sif and smiled. "Nasty creatures aren't they?"
"Quite," Sif chuckled. She attempted to hold his gaze but he looked up, shocked.
A girl around their age strode towards Thor with a flirty loo. Thor smiled.
"How can I help you, young maiden?"
The girl looked at Sif apprehensively and then back at Thor and smiled. "I wanted you to come with me."
Thor chuckled. "And where might that be?"
The girl looked back at Sif and scrunched up her nose. "I'll tell you all about it. When she goes."
Sif shifted her weight angrily. "I'm not going anywhere. If you'll excuse us, Thor and I were hunting." Sif locked her arm with Thor's. "Come on Thor."
Thor yanked his arm away and frowned at her. Hurt spread through Sif like a wildfire as she watched the girl skip away with Thor, giggling.
Her eyes stung with tears and she fled to the palace.
She had been sitting on the step in the banquet hall for a while now, weeping.
She quickly tried to wipe the tears away from her eyes when she saw Loki approaching. She looked up at him with red, swollen eyes expecting to see a smirk on his face. But there was only confusion.
He sat down beside her. "What's wrong?" He asked softly, trying to look her in the eye.
There was a long pause. Then she finally relented, the story spilling out of her mouth quickly. When she was finished she fully expected him to chuckle bitterly at her childishness and pettiness. But he nodded knowingly and said he understood.
She wanted to end the silence so she asked where he had been the past few weeks.
He swallowed. "I have nightmares. And recently they have worsened, leading to lack of sleep."
She nodded. "Would you like someone to stay with you tonight?" She asked softly.
He turned to her. "I would.. like that very much."
They said nothing as they went to his chambers and still nothing when he wrapped his arms around her. He had no nightmares that night.
When they left his room the next morning the Warriors Three and Thor tried to tease her about, but she remained silent. Loki and Sif never spoke of it again. But the memory had stayed with her forever. Just like the memory of her last words to Loki.
Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back, allowing only quiet weeping. She was free to cry here. Of course she was. But she felt a part of Loki's presence lingered still, watching her quietly.
When her eyes finally started to shut she thought she could hear Loki's voice, reassuring her that everything was alright. That he forgave her. But she was not awake when his arms wrapped around her once more.