Hey guys! So I was wondering about doing something like this for a while but decided to put a little spin on things - the bladers discover YOUR stories and leave their comments... they won't always be flattering, especially if Kyoya's involved...

Kyoya: GODAMMIT ZERO

I'm starting with my own crackfic as I think that will shake things up nice and good :)

Three am. Three fucking am and DaXiang was still wading through seas upon seas of web pages in order to quench his boredom. Training every other night had forced him into the habit of being unable to sleep for more than four hours at a time.

Oh well. Sleep wasn't that important. He'd sleep when he died.

DaXiang downed the last drop of his coffee and decided to search for something other than funny cat videos. 'Da Xiang Wang' was what he labourously typed into the keyboard and waited a few seconds for the results.

151,000,000 results. Not bad. Not bad at all, DaXiang thought, scratching his chin.

He scrolled thrugh a few until one in particular caught his eye. It was from a site called 'Fanfiction dot net,', implying some sort of prose involving him.

He read the description.

A very, very special story in which DaXiang and Toby fall in love, courtesy of Lovemaster ChaoXin. I've taken inspiration from both Twilight and an author on this site. DaXiang/ Toby

DaXiang grimaced. What the fuck was this supposed to be? Who was Toby? And what did ChaoXin have to do with this? He'd heard of stories like this before. Fans making up weird shit. Against his better judgement, the Chinese blader decided to click on it.

One day DaXiang was sitting in his room in Beylin Temple.

He was sitting in his room reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

'My English isn't that great but okay...' DaXiang thought.

'A cultured mind is the key to Beyline Temple's 4000 Year Old Legacy,' is what he was thinking.

'I guess...'

There was a soft tap on his door and Chi Yun crept in looking more than a little perturbed.

'Da Xiang?' He asked warily.

'Yes?'

'There are weird noises coming from Chao Xin's room and I'm too afraid to go in there and get him to shut up.' Chi Yun said.

'Well, first of all none of us live in Beylin Temple, it's our training ground. And I may faint from shock if Chao Xin ever even accidently wandered by... The effort alone to get here just may kill him...' DaXiang sighed.

'Just ignore him. Go for a walk or something.' Da Xiang told him, going back to his book.

However, a few minutes later DaXiang could also hear these 'disturbing noises' coming from Chao's room, which was incidentally two doors down from his.

He sighed, got up and walked down the hallway.

'CHAO WILL YOU BE QUIET I AM TRYING TO READ DICKENS!' He shouted, rapping on his door.

But Chao was just louder to piss him off.

'All right, yeah... That's probably what he'd do, come to think of it.'

Later that day, Chao strolled shirtlessly outside to find DaXiang sulking by himself on the steps, still reading his book.

'Shirtlessly?'

'I am so good she named my dick Schlongzilla. I bet you could hear me in Hong Kong!'

'That's something I really don't want to think about...'

DaXiang just kept reading his book, muttering darkly to himself.

'Well? Touch me, bro!' Chao said, offering a fist bump.

'I WOULD NOT TOUCH YOU IF OUR FOUR THOUSAND YEAR OLD LEGACY DEPENDED ON IT!' DaXiang yelled, storming back inside.

'This is getting weirder and weirder... Bit of an overreaction when I could just punch him inthe face...'

The next day, DaXiang found himself led by Mei Mei into a room where ChaoXin and Chi Yun assembled.

'Before this starts Chi Yun would just like to say that Chi Yun has nothing to do with it!' Chi Yun said hurriedly. 'It's just Chao put Lacerta on a really high shelf and says he won't give it back until we have this meeting.'

Chao put his arms on DaXiang's shoulders and began to talk.

'DaXiang. DaXiang, DaXiang, DaXiang...'

DaXiang growled. 'The hell do you want you mad bastard?'

'As if I would use that kind of language around Chi Yun and Mei Mei!'

'DaXiang all of us agree you need to get laid. Badly.'

'WHAT?!'

'WHAT?!'

'It's really no big deal. You're a good looking cat and I know you're a virgin and shit. It won't be that difficult. Trust me. We're taking a trip to America 'cause bitches go crazy for celebrities like us over there.

'WHAT. THE. HELL...? How is that any of his business? And why is that relevant? For goodness' sake, not even Chao would bring something like that up!'

And that is how Chao made it Team Wang Hu Zhong's mission to find DaXiang a girlfriend. Or someone to have sex with.

'I can see this going down hill...'

Meanwhile, in NewYork, Team Starbreaker were having another meeting.

'What do they have to do with this story?'

'I HAVE HAD IT! I JUST DON'T FEEL AS IF MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE RESPECTED! ARE YOU LISTENING JACK? DAMIAN, TAKE OUT THOSE HEADPHONES, I AM TRYING TO REACH YOU!' Toby's eyes nearly filled with tears as he tried to voice his concerns.

'Well, that was painful to read. I still have no idea who Toby is...'

'Calm down, man.' Masamune said, checking his watch and cursing that Two and a Half Men would be on soon.

'I CAN'T HELP IT ZEO! I AM ALWAYS ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR WITH EVERYONE AND THOSE TWO RESPOND BY TAKING THE PISS!'

DaXiang started scrolling down through the cap locked words, knowing he probably wasn't missing anything important.

'WHAT DID THEY DO NOW?' Zeo growled.

'DAMIAN KEEPS MESSING UP MY CDS. THEY'RE NOT EVEN KIND OF IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER ANYMORE. AND JACK CUT UP MY FAVOURITE PHOTO I HAVE OF US!'

'FOR SCRAPBOOKING! I WAS MAKING A SCRAPBOOK, SOMETHING THAT WE COULD ALL ENJOY!' Jack protested.

'I MEAN I WOULDN'T MIND BUT THEY NEVER EVEN ASK! THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK TO REAARANGE THOSE CDS?'

'Dude, you have like twenty CDs...' Masamune reminded him.

'NOT ANYMORE! SOMEHOW HALF OF THEM HAD DISAPPEARED AND THE ONES LEFT HAVE WERE ALL IN THE WRONG CASES!'

'Alright, Jesus, I stole you CDs, calm down!' Damian said.

'WELL OBVIOUSLY THERE IS NO MUSIC FAIRY TAKING THEM! COME ON GUYS, I TRY MY BEST BUT YOU ARE NOT HELPING! I HAVE HAD IT!' Toby shouted, storming out.

'What a little bitch.' Jack scoffed.

'Dude, it's not his fault he doesn't wank enough.' Zeo said.

'Doesn't give him the excuse to act like a prissy little bitch.'

'I don't think either Zeo or even Jack would use language like that... it's just gratuitous, really... whoever wrote this is probably an attention-seeker...'

Along the streets of New York...

'I feel like no one understands me...' Toby sighed, walking along.

'I feel like no one understands me...' DaXiang sighed, walking along.

'I see the writer's not even trying at this point...'

Suddenly, Toby looked up and saw a tall, muscular Chinese man with long, shaggy hair standing in front of him.

'Well, it's not NOT a flattering description...'

Suddenly, DaXiang looked up and saw a slim boy with choppy white bangs standing in front of him.

DaXiang thought for a moment. White hair? American team? Zeo?

'Oh, so Toby is Faust!' He realized. '...Weird...'

They both just stood there, looking into each others eyes.

'Wait, why am I randomly in America?'

The next few days with Wang Hu Zhong

'I AM IN LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOOOOVEE~'

'JESUS SHUT THE FUCK UP DAXIANG WE GET IT ALREADY!' Mei yelled, fed up of this behavior. Honestly, he was worse than ChaoXin!

'There is NO WAY Mei Mei would ever speak like that, especially not to me!'

'So? How's the tail? What did I tell you?' Chao asked with a grin.

'OH PLEASE CHAO, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH TOBY SEXUALLY OUR CONNECTION IS FAR TO DEEP FOR THAT!' Da Xiang smiled eyes, lighting up.

'Again with the capital letters...' DaXiang grimaced. 'Use italics for emphasis, this is becomming a chore...'

'Oh please, you want to bang the fuck out of him, don't you? You want to shove it right up there! You want to unleash Pennis the Mennis all over that boy!' Chao continued to get more and more graphic.

'Well, that's just disgusting...'

'CHAO PLEASE! DO NOT BE SO CRUDE!' DaXiang cried, leaving the room in a rage.

With the two love birds...

'OH, DAXIANG!' Toby cried, falling into his arms.

'OH, TOBY!' DaXiang cried, holding the smaller boy in his arms.

'YOU'RE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER HOPED FOR! YOU'RE SO INTELLIGENT, SENSITIVE AND SPECIAL!'

'YOU'RE A GOD SEND! YOU'RE HEAVEN ON EARTH! THE WHOLE WORLD STARES WHEN YOU SMILE!'

'What?! Now we're bordering on just plain craazy. Whoever wrote this was taking the piss.'

DaXiang reached up to gently brush Toby's feathery fringe from his forehead, his lips brushing him gently. His kisses began to get lower, drifting from his nose to his mouth then pulling him into an intense and passionate kiss. Toby kissed him back, just as voraciously.

'Oh yeah, NOW you make an effort with the writing... It's still crap, by the way, and I should know; Mei Mei forced me to read Twilight! Also, I'm pretty sure this Toby is underage, which would make me doing anything with him illegal...'

they dated for three months then broke up 'cause da shizzle is a commie yo and has a tiny dick.

'OH, COME ON. THAT DOESN'T EVEN KIND OF MAKE SENSE! I am not a 'commie' and it's nobody's business whether my d-IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS! That's it! I'm calling my lawyer and SOMEONE is getting sued!'

DaXiang suddenly stood up and stormed raging into his kitchen where he picked up a phone and furiously began dialling a number.

If you want the characters to discover your story, leave the name of the story you want reviewed (if multi-chapter say which chapter) and which characters you want to discover it!