Disclaimer: I do not own Super Mario
This story was born out of the weird relationship that I'm sure many people have noticed between Bowser and the other cast members of the Mario universe. Bowser and Mario are mortal enemies one day, flinging each other into spikes, lava, black holes, what have you; but the next, they play tennis or go race each other!
Given this fact, and the sheer number of times that Bowser has apparently kidnapped Princess Peach, I imagine everyone is simply use to it, and it all must be very organized and civil by this point.
It was a Tuesday in the Mushroom Kingdom. It wasn't a particularly wonderful Tuesday, by any measure, but that isn't to say that it was a terrible Tuesday. No, the birds sang, the sun was shining, even if a bit overcast by the occasional cloud, and gentle breeze blew through the air.
If anything, this Tuesday was average: including the rather large, fire-breathing turtle that had just demolished a family's house.
"Sorry about that, Joe," Bowser said, carefully stepping over what seemed to at one time be part of the kitchen.
"Don't worry about, your majesty!" the former occupant of the house called, his wife and child next to the wagon of their belongings; they were moving to their new Kingdom-funded house just down the road.
"Still, sorry about the inconvenience!" Bowser replied, idly breathing fire over the rubble to set it alight (because that was good form, you see. Certain things were expected of a royal koopa when he invaded the Mushroom Kingdom, after all.)
"Don't trouble yourself," Joe waved off the claim. "I got the notice last Sunday that you would be landing here, so I cleared out days ago." He then looked at a pocket watch. "As nice as this is, it's time for my obligatory 'fleeing in terror'," he said, and then proceeded to flip the fuck out.
"IT'S BOWSER! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
Bowser watched the suddenly paniced toad and his family, nodding in appreciation; it was as fine a panicking as he had ever seen. The little girl even started crying on the spot—nice touch, that.
Leisurely walking down the road, occasionally letting a roar or spurting out a jet of flame, the invading monarch casually waved to a nearby toad. Approaching the castle, he stopped and knocked on the front door, putting his claws behind his shell as he waited, humming a jaunty tune to himself.
A guard came, seeing it was Bowser, he opened the gate. "Greetings, your vileness," he greeted with a nod.
Bowser sorted, a lick of flame shooting forth from his nostril. "No one likes a kiss-ass, Frank," he said, and then grinned in a very toothy manner. "How's the misses?" the koopa king asked. "Her back okay?"
Frank beamed. "Wonderful, wonderful, your majesty," he said. "Simply can't thank you enough for recommending us to that physician. Worked like a dream, he did!"
Bowser grinned. "Good to hear," he said, pleased. "Well, as much as I'd like to talk, I can't keep the princess waiting," he said.
"Right you are," Frank said with a nod, stepping aside to let reptile through.
Humming to himself, Bowser walked through the halls, idly looking at the higher clearances they had recently put into the hallways. He greatly appreciated those: he no longer had to hunch as he invaded. Very considerate of them, really.
Approaching Peach's room, he politely knocked.
"It's open!" the blonde royal called through the door.
Nodding to himself, Bowser puffed out his chest and kicked the door off its hinges barging into the room.
Peach, who simply marked her place in a rather large novel, set it down and smiled at the king from another country; she didn't seem to mind the fact that her door was now imbedded multiple inches into her wall.
"Hello, Bowser," she chirped, and Bowser grinned back at her. "How's Junior and the kids?" she asked.
"The brats are doing okay—they miss you, though," Bowser answered with a shrug.
"I miss them to," Peach admitted. "It will be just a moment; the cake's—" She was interrupted by a buzzer sounding in the other room. "There it is!" she exclaimed.
Walking over to a small stove, she removed a chocolate cake and proceeded to ice it with all the skill of a royal princess who had invited people over cakes many times before. "Would you care for a slice?" she asked.
"Sure;" Bowser shoved a sizable piece of cake into his mouth, making short work of it in two-and-a-half bites. "Delicious, as always!" he praised, causing the blonde to blush.
"Well, let's get this show on the road, huh?" he asked, and Peach nodded, standing up. Without further warning, Bowser slung the princess over his shoulder and began to walk out the door.
"Do you know if we're still on for go-karting this Saturday," Peach asked casually, as if she were not being forcibly abducted.
"We'll ask Mario when we see him in a few hours," Bowser answered.