Doubtful

(Written by: Lady Theia)

She leaned her head on the window, a tiny sigh escaping her pale lips. The road was dark and it seemed like they were the only ones on it. She tried hard to fight back her tears as she looked at the boy in the driver's seat.

His sandy blond bangs fell over his eyes which always sparkled with happiness and mischief. She silently watched him driving. Feeling her eyes on him, he looked at her and gave her a smile before setting his eyes back on the road.

He was beautiful.

She bit her lip and returned back to her original position.

He turned on the radio and Evanescence's My Immortal was playing. Damn song! She silently cursed. It wasn't that the song was bad but it was just putting too much pressure on her restless soul.

He placed his hand on hers; it was like he had sensed it. "I love you." He said but she didn't reply.

That had made her feel even guiltier. "How long has it been?"

She asked him. "Our relationship, I mean."

"It's been six months sweetie." He answered her. "Such a long time right? It makes me happy to know that we have been together for that long despite people saying that we wouldn't even last a month. " He gave a laugh not noticing that Sumire's face had tensed up.

She forced a smile for him, "Yes, I know. "

Koko started to laugh, "Do you remember our first date?"

"Yes…it wasn't really perfect was it?"

"It was the worst date in history."

Sumire closed her eyes and thought back to their first date. "But then the motorbike ride was unexpected but enjoyable."

On their first date, much to Sumire's surprise Koko had showed up at her door on motorbike. At that time, Sumire was wearing a dress and she had to run back up to change. The first half hour of their date had passed in that manner. She then expected him to take her to a classy restaurant which he did but unfortunately he didn't have money to pay for the food. So he took her to a diner instead where a waitress had spilled soda on Sumire's designer bag. Infuriated Sumire stormed out of the diner but not before ordering a take out. Hoping to get her cheerfulness back he took her to a skating rink. Sumire was a good skater but Koko wasn't. She spent her time teaching him how to skate only to have him fall on her. At that point the date ended leaving each with a souvenir; Koko with a sprained ankle and Sumire with a tiny scar above her left eyebrow.

Koko was scared that he had blown all chances of ever being with Sumire but ironically, Sumire agreed to a second date. She had laughed off the accident saying that at least Koko had the guts to try.

After all, Sumire was the type who liked to take risk and going out with Koko in the first place was a risk.

And now, six months later, here she was as his girlfriend, sitting in his car and holding his hand. Something that she should feel was so perfectly natural but then why couldn't she?

"Sumire?" She turned to look at him. He looked at her with eyes filled with care, gentleness and love. Her heart wrenched at the sight of him.

He handed her a chit, "Open it only when you get home." She nodded and kept it in her jeans pocket.

She knew that she was soon to become the most cruel person for what she was about to do to him. "What's wrong?"

Tears spilled from her eyes, "Koko, I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart what's wrong?" The concern in his eyes was more that she could take.

He stopped the car, turned off the engine and turned to look at her. He pushed back a strand of her hair as she sobbed. He took her face in his hands, "Koko, I-I like you a lot but….we have to break up."

He didn't look as shocked as she had expected. Instead he nodded, "I had expected this…I won't ask for any reasons. If this makes you happy then it's for the best."

She looked at him, "Oh god." Never had she seen such a guy who was willing to put her happiness before his.

That's when she started to question her actions. Why was she breaking up with him? What was her reason? She didn't know the answer.

All she knew was that she was scared but scared of what?

You're scared of losing him

Hotaru's words came back to her.

Don't deny it, Shouda. The only reason you want to break up with him is because you're scared that he might be the one who will leave you. You're freaking out because you've fallen in love with him. Let me tell you something, you want to be free and wild but you can't escape from what you feel in your heart. You think that by falling in love you will be caged up but by denying your love for this boy….you're chaining yourself up away. You just can't lock up your feelings in a safe and think that it will stay there. But you're wrong, it will follow you for the rest of your life; haunting you for not doing what you should've done.

It was then at that exact moment she realized Hotaru was right. She was scared but looking at Koko, she wasn't scared anymore.

He wiped away her tears, "Koko, I-"

Before she could finish her sentence a car hit theirs in the side. Koko threw himself on her and held her tightly; Sumire closed her eyes tightly and felt the impact.

"Koko…." She whispered before she felt the darkness take over her.

-X-

Sumire slowly opened her eyes, she could still feel Koko's body on top her. She couldn't think properly; her head was throbbing and she felt like every part of her body was in pain. She groaned slowly as she tried to move but Koko's weight on her prevented her from moving too much. "Koko." She called slowly but got no reply.

Thinking that he was knocked unconsciousness, she groaned in pain as she slowly took out her cellphone from her jeans pocket. She noticed her blood covered hands as she dialed the emergency number. She placed the phone near her ear as she listened to the dialer tone.

"T-there's been an accident." She said in a hoarse voice. "Highway 32…." She breathed heavily. "I-I can't move…please come fast." The phone slipped from her hand and fell to the floor of the car.

She shook Koko, "Get up idiot." She groaned. She didn't dare move him for fear of causing him pain.

Then she started to panic, she couldn't feel a heart beat; she tried to feel for his pulse but….he was gone. "No, no!" With much difficulty she opened the car door and fell out with Koko. His limp body fell to the ground next to her.

She shouted in pain as she made her way next to him. "Koko, wake up!" she screamed. His shirt was soaked with blood and there was a gash on his forehead.

"Get up! Get up!" she shook as hard as she could. She tried to perform CPR on him but it was of no avail. Koko was gone, yet she couldn't bring herself to believe it.

She screamed and shook him hoping that he would open his eyes, smile at her and laugh at her for worrying too much. But that didn't happen.

"Koko, please wake up! Don't leave me!" she screamed in pain and sadness. She laid her head on his chest and sobbed with all her heart. She held him as tightly as she could not wanting to waste any moment she had left before the ambulance came.

Then she remembered the chit he had given her; she took it out and opened it.

Koko had written :

If you leave me, I will die

Review please!