This takes place at the end of "The Partners in the Divorce."
I don't own Bones.
Oooooooooooooooooooo
He was afraid.
He was sitting in their house, their baby asleep in her bed and her mother, well, she wasn't home yet. He was alone, sitting in their house, in the dark, drinking and he was afraid.
He wasn't sure how he had ended up this way; but, he had and it felt like his world was slowly unraveling. His love for Brennan was still very strong and he knew he didn't want to lose her and yet he was afraid that as hard as he fought it, that was exactly what was happening. He was afraid that Brennan was leaving him behind and she didn't really care. No . . . that's not right. He knew she cared about him. She said she loved him and he believed it and yet she had left him behind three months ago and he still hadn't caught up. She wasn't letting him catch up.
He'd told her that he understood why she'd run and he had understood. He did. What he couldn't understand was why she had left without him. She had told him it was to protect him; but, when he had heard her say those words to him he was thrown back in time to the Hoover when he'd asked her to take a chance with him, with them. She had told him no then to protect him. That had been what she had said. Those words had almost killed him the first time he'd heard them and now he was hearing them again. She had taken Christine and ran to protect him.
What if he didn't need or want that kind of protection? What if he had wanted to let the future take care of itself and let him, let them take the chance that being together was worth it?
He thought the past was done and over; but, now he could see that wasn't true. The past is always with you. You can never escape the things you've done, the things you've said. There is always someone willing to remind you of the foolish mistakes you've made in your life. Yes, foolish mistakes. Moving on had been a joke. How do you move on when your heart belongs to another? He had fought his attraction to Brennan for several years. He'd loved her; but, his uncertainty about Brennan's love had held him at arms length. Then she'd ask to have his child. At first he had been appalled that she had asked him to provide his stuff to make a baby. She had wanted his stuff; but, not him. How could that be fair? Why had God shown him the woman that he had come to consider his soul mate and not let him actually have her?
In the end, because he did love her, he was going to let her have his baby only to have fate stop him and give him an illness that changed everything. He'd had a brain tumor and when he woke after surgery, he had thought that Brennan was his after all. How cruel is life that it would give him the one he loved and then take her away again? He woke up from his deep sleep happy and deeply in love only to be told by the one he loved that they were friends and nothing more. It had taken all of his faith in God and in 'His Plan' to let that love slip from his hands.
They had told him that he wasn't in love and that he was just suffering from the lingering affects of his tumor removal. He should have fought their words. He shouldn't have let them influence him. Their words only created confusion in him and in the one he loved. He had listened until he could listen no more and he had, in desperation, tried to plead his case to Brennan on the steps of the Hoover. His desperation had made him clumsy and the words he chose were not the wisest he could have used. Later, replaying the words he had used to her in his mind over and over he had realized his biggest mistake. Never once did he mention that he loved her and he knew that once she had rejected him he could never utter those words to her. It had been too late. He had been crushed and with that pain fresh in his mind, he had told her he would move on.
Moved on. He tried. He really did try. He had thought that Brennan had thrown him away when she'd accepted the position in Maluku and he had thought that running away was the answer. He had thought that she didn't want to be his partner anymore or his friend and so he had put himself in harms way. He knew that was what he was doing and he couldn't stop himself.
Moved on. Yes, he tried to move on. While he was in harms way, he had found someone who had actually made him want to live, to not give up. To see that life went on even if it wasn't the life you dreamed of. Hannah had moved in to his life and he'd been grateful. He'd found someone who had said they loved him. Yes loved him. Him. Those words were like a life raft to a drowning man.
He'd tried to move on and in the end, he had found out that he wasn't going to be allowed to do that. The one who had claimed to love him, didn't really love him and he was alone again. The bitterness he had felt was almost more than he could bear. He was alone and that was his life. Alone and without love.
Without love until he opened his eyes and really looked. Brennan had changed. He wasn't sure when that had happened; but, she had changed. She was in love with him and he hadn't allowed himself to notice . God had been playing with him. He felt like he had been playing the part of Odysseus during his long voyage home. He had gone through many strange adventures and had to counter many powerful spells to get back to the one he loved. The siren call of Hannah being the most powerful spell of all. Like Odysseus, he had battled his demons to finally reach the one he loved and he didn't want to let her go.
He would fight for her. He would try to understand her and listen to her and try to catch up with her. She had changed in the three months she had been gone and he had to adapt to those changes.
They had been fighting for the last couple of days and now he found himself sitting in their house and drinking alone in the dark. He knew that wasn't the answer and when Brennan came home he would try again. He would try to catch up. What else could he do? He loved her.
Oooooooooooooooo
This popped in to my head a little while ago and I just had to post it. What do you think of it?