Triplets in Portland

by voice of morgoth

And here's my last story in the Gravity Falls universe, unless I come back and revisit it.

The morning sun crawls over the horizon, bathing the lush forests of Oregon in a warm glow. The birds are singing, and the small town begins to come to life. Stan sits on the porch outside the entrance to the Mystery Shack, waiting for his surrogate son to come. Within the hour, Soos drives up to the Mystery Shack. He steps out of the car with his kid. The energetic ten year old runs towards Stan, who grunts as he lifts himself out of the seat. Soos' son jumps at Stan, who pats the kid on the head. Soos comes up and Stan gives the thirty year old a pat on the back.

"Love you too." Soos replies.

As the sun continues its rise and the packs of tourists begin wandering into the shop, Stan and Soos begin their daily performance of the weird, mythological, and completely invented world of their own design, as well as a few bonuses given to them by Dipper and Mabel. As Soos escorts a group towards the mythical "manotaur" and gnome exhibit, Stan goes to check on the finances in the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of bourbon and takes a chug before putting it back, and then goes to check the money. Outside the shack, a dilapidated car sputters to a stop, and the figure within steps out.

"The Mystery Shack. Neat."

The young, skinny brown haired man walks towards the entrance of the rickety shack, joining up with a group of tourists. Taking a look around, the scraggily man looks at the room filled with random knick-knacks and toy monsters. He notices a bored teen sitting at the counter, hired by Stan to work the cash register.

"Uh, excuse me."

"Yeah?" the teenager replies, flipping through a magazine as he gazes up.

"I'm, uh, I'm looking for Stanford Pines."

"Hold on." the teen says with a sigh, lifting lazily out of his seat to go find Stan Pines. He goes down the hall towards the kitchen to fetch Stan, while the young man looks around the room. He spots a figure of the eye of providence.

"Didn't figure this for an illuminati guy. And such an unsubtle one."

The man picks up the figure of Bill Cipher, fiddling with the rubber arms of the toy.

"Illuminati eye with a top hat and bow tie. That's new."

The teen returns with Stan, who grumbles in annoyance as he comes in.

"Listen, if it's about the taxes, I've already paid it… oh, Dipper."

"Huh?"

"Where's Mabel?"

"I… um… this is… I'm your great nephew."

"Yeah, I know. What the hell are you doing here, anyways?"

"No, I'm… I'm not Dipper. I… Can we sit down?"

Stan stares at the scraggy haired man. His jaw drops in shock as he realizes that the man lacks Dipper's signature birthmark. Stan walks with the twins' sibling towards the kitchen. He fetches a bottle of whiskey and pours two glasses. Stan sits with the triplet and sighs.

"So, uh, what's your name?"

"Tyrone. Or Ty." the twins' sibling replies as he sips the shot. He shudders at the strong taste before taking another sip.

"Huh. How'd you find me?"

"They had your DNA on record. The only person I could reach. Apparently you've got a police profile."

"Yeah, pretty big one, too… why'd you show up? Don't you have, like, your own family?"

"No… Well, no one I want to deal with."

"Bad home, huh? Yeah, I see why you'd want to ditch 'em." Stan says, leaning back in the chair.

"Yeah… Sooo, who's this Dipper?"

"He's… he's your brother. You look just like him, only scrawnier. Not an easy task."

"Yeah. So what do you do here?"

"Just sell tourist crap, supernatural oddities."

"What's with the illuminati fellow?"

"The eye? Oh, that's Bill Cipher. The twins. Mabel and Dipper. Heh, they made up these awesome stories when they were kids. Bill Cipher was this creepy dream demon coming to take over the world or something. They said I could use it."

"Neat. So, do you know where my parents are?"

"They're farther south. The twins, well, they live in Portland. Much closer."

"Great. Do you have an address?" Ty asks, all but jumping out of his chair with happiness.

"Actually… why don't we both head other there? Give 'em a surprise?"

"Uh… okay… I kind of don't have a lot of gas."

"That's fine. We'll take my car. You got anything you need?"

"Nope. Not a damn thing. Just some clothes and a jacket."

"Ran away?"

"Yeah. It… it was…"

"Hey… it's alright. I had a tough time growing up myself."

Stan walks over to Ty. He pats him on the shoulder, and the scraggy twenty year old gives a warm smile. Stan walks over to a plaque and grabs the keys to his car. He tosses the keys to Ty, who catches them.

"So, I can't drive as good as I used to. You mind getting the car started?" Stan asks.

"Uh, sure."

"It's out back. The red convertible."

"Alright. I'll see you in a bit."

Ty bumps into Soos on the way to the car. He maneuvers around the chubby man and runs towards the back.

"So, what's Dipper doing here?" Soos asks.

"Long story short, the twins have another twin. His name's Tyrone and he had a shitty home, so I'm taking him to the twins. Look after the place while I'm gone."

"I… well, okay."

Soos shrugs as he returns to the front, as another busload of tourists have arrived. Stan hurries as fast as his elderly body can move to the phone and dials. He knows that the twins have a relationship that few would accept. And he knows that they have shared the same bed for several years.

"Come on. Pick up, pick up… ah, Mabel! I, uh, hi!"

"What's up, Grunkle?"

"I… I'm planning a surprise trip! I'm coming over, and I'll be staying for a few days."

"Hey, if you need help with the financing, there's no need to yank our chain. Just say so."

"Nope. Finances are fine. Better than they've been in a long time. Turns out Soos giving…"

Stan shivers at the word he's about to say.

"… discounts, has actually improved our reviews online. And since more people like us online, more people are coming out."

"What are you aiming at?" Mabel asks. Stan knows she's narrowed her eyes even though he can't see her.

"Nothing. Just… I don't care about you and Dipper's closeness. I don't care about your freaky deaky thingy. But just make it look like you aren't sleeping with him. Trust me on this. I'll be there in a few hours. Bye."

Stan puts the phone back on the hook and sighs. He gets his coat and a toothbrush and heads outside. He maneuvers into the passenger seat next to Ty, who's humming in a bored tone.

"So, Great-Uncle Stan, where to?"

"Portland. We'll figure it out from there. And call me Grunkle. It saves time, which I don't have a lot of anymore."

"Morbid."

Ty and Stan chuckle lightly as they pull away from the Shack. Ty drives out of the small town and onto the road heading west.

In Portland, Mabel and Dipper are trying to figure out what their great uncle is up to as they watch the television with Wendy. The redheaded, muscular daughter of a lumberjack has become the twins' best friend, as well as a lover. Waddles sits below the couch, curled up and content.

"Like, did he sound desperate for something?" Dipper asks.

"A bit. I mean, it's all really sudden. Just wants us to up and redecorate! This takes time, and focus! Ooh, that's a pretty necklace." Mabel says, looking at an expensive diamond necklace on a commercial.

"It is, isn't it? But why wouldn't he want us to be in the same room? It doesn't make much sense. Like, he doesn't care."

"But… maybe Soos wants to come up?"

"Then why wouldn't he say that? Or give us more time?"

"I don't know. What do you think, Wendy?"

"I don't know. Possessed by a demon? Aliens attacked? You've got another sibling?"

The twins laugh along with Wendy. Mabel stands up and stretches before wiggling the tiredness away.

"Well, I do trust him. So maybe we should listen."

"We can't just redecorate or whatever." Wendy says.

"Yeah, but, like, I guess I can just take down some of the romantic pictures and whatnot and make it look like it's just my room."

"Uh, we've practically divided it down the middle. We even have a double colored blanket. My side is blue, and yours is pink and awesome." Dipper says.

"Yeah, well, let's just say Wendy takes that side."

"Um… that could work."

"That should be fine. I'll get some of my things out of my room." Wendy says.

"Okay. And we should take some of the pictures down too." Dipper says. The twins go to their room and begin removing the signs of their relationship. Mabel takes down the pictures of her and Dipper together. She also removes a picture of her and Dipper with a heart drawn around it. Dipper goes over to his side of the room and begins removing his random papers concerning various conspiracies and theories about aliens while Wendy takes piles of her clothes and switches with Dipper's clothing. The twins prepare the rooms to give no sign of their incestuous love, merely showing it as Wendy and Mabel together. Wendy takes several of her family photos and brings them into the twins' room. With the evidence removed, the twins return to the couch with Wendy.

"So, I guess we'll order pizza since we've got company." Wendy says.

"That'd be good. Cheese and hot giardiniera." Dipper says, rubbing his stomach in anticipation.

"You love that spicy stuff too much, bro. It'll give you gas!" Mabel replies.

Wendy and Dipper laugh with Mabel. Within several hours, the twins receive another call from their great uncle. Dipper answers the phone, wanting to speak with his great uncle again.

"Hello." Dipper says.

"Hey. We'll be there in a half hour. Which number's your apartment?"

"113."

"You got food?"

"Yeah, we were just going to order pizza."

"Cheese and sausage."

"Alright. We'll see you later."

Dipper hears another voice talking on the other end, and he attempts to figure out who the voice is coming from before Stan shuts off the phone. Dipper sets the phone down on the table before returning to the couch.

"He's bringing someone over."

"Who?" Wendy asks.

"Don't know."

Mabel and Dipper sit on the couch while Wendy orders the food. The twins relax lazily with their shared lover, enjoying the peace of the Saturday together. The three move in close together. Dipper rests his head on Wendy's lap, and Mabel rests on Dipper's chest. But all three are curious as to the identity of Stan's guest.

"Do we have enough space for a fifth person?" Wendy asks.

"I can make room on the couch… I wonder who it is? It didn't sound like Soos."

"Weird. More weird than usual for ol' Stan."

"Yeah." Mabel replies, leaning down to rub Waddles' belly.

"You are such a cute waddler, Waddles."

"He's the best." Wendy says. The apartment speaker buzzes. Mabel leaps off the couch and skips towards the door with Waddles following, his large feet echoing down the hallway. Mabel answers the buzzing intercom.

"Who is it?" Mabel asks.

"The IRS." Stan says flatly.

"Ha, real funny. I'll buzz you in. Buzz, buzz."

Mabel allows her great uncle into the building. She hums happily while waiting for the moment of Stan's arrival, expectant and curious as to the stranger. Mabel hears a knock at the door and instantly opens it.

"Ha! Only one knock. A new record!"

Stan chuckles awkwardly as Ty walks up. Mabel opens her eyes from her laughing fit and stares. She closes her eyes for several seconds and opens them again. She repeats the lengthy blinks several times before realizing that she isn't staring at an illusion, nor has she gone insane.

"I… uh… wha?..."

"Uh, hey… I'm… my names Tyrone."

Mabel steps backwards and presses her back against the wall. She turns her head towards the living room, staring at the twins' redheaded girlfriend.

"Uh, Wendy?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you might be psychic."

Wendy steps off the couch and goes to see what Mabel's talking about. She walks towards the entrance and looks at Ty. Her face goes blank, and she turns back to the living room, looking at Dipper, before turning back.

"Huh… what?"

"Uh, hi." Tyrone says shyly. Wendy and Mabel move inside. Wendy goes to fetch several chairs for the two guests while Mabel returns to the couch.

"Uh, Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"We have a brother."

"What? What are say… holy shit."

Dipper sees his sibling walk into the room. Tyrone waves awkwardly. Dipper stands up and goes to meet his other. He looks down his twin, seeing what seems to be a younger, more scrawny version of himself. He looks closer at Tyrone's head, trying to see if he has a birthmark.

"What are you doing?" Tyrone asks.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Probably think I'm weird. My name's Dipper for a reason. Look."

Dipper reveals his unique birthmark. Tyrone looks closer and smiles at the strange marking.

"Neat."

"I know. So, do you have one?"

Tyrone shows his blank forehead. Dipper returns to Mabel's side while Wendy sits down. Stan and Tyrone sit down across from the three secret lovers.

"So, how did you find out about us?" Mabel asks.

"Well, I found out I was… stolen…"

Mabel swallows. Now she knows why her parents never brought it up. Why they almost seemed to forget there was another. Mabel steps off the couch and gives her brother a tight hug.

"I'm sorry…"

Mabel moves back and, to relieve the tension, she pokes Tyrone on the nose. He giggles lightly while Mabel returns to the couch.

"It's just… my, well, my not mom and I were shouting. We… we did that a lot. And after another round of her and her boyfriend getting smashed and high, she let slip that she 'adopted' me. I went looking for any papers or I.D.'s or something, but it turns out they… I guess they took me."

Tyrone shivers slightly as tears form in his eyes. He giggles at the absurd situation he's found himself in before turning to Dipper. Tyrone looks over his double. Dipper is far more muscular than his skinny counterpart.

"I guess I need to start working out."

The buzzer to the apartment rings again. Wendy leaves to receive the food, allowing the twins to continue speaking with their other.

"We… we never knew about you." Dipper says.

"I see that. They never told you anything? Mentioned?"

"No. I guess… I guess they wanted to forget."

"Sorry. If we'd known sooner, we'd have gone looking." Mabel says.

"Thanks."

"So… do you have any place to stay?" Dipper asks.

"I… no. I've got nothing."

"Well, we can help you out for a bit. We're doing good cash wise, so it won't be bad."

"Uh, th-thanks."

Tyrone's voice rises with hope. He smiles at his two siblings as Wendy heads into the kitchen with the pizza. The triplets and Stan make their way to the kitchen. Waddles sits beneath the table, oinking in anticipation of any fallen food or treats from Mabel.

"Cheese and Giardiniera. Yes." Tyrone says.

"You have excellent taste, my friend. Brother. Triplet."

Mabel snickers at Dipper, who beams a wide smile to her.

"So, what do you do?" Tyrone asks.

"Well, I work at a daycare." Dipper says.

"You watch kids?"

"Yeah. I like it."

"And I sell art stuff." Mabel adds.

"Art stuff?"

"Yeah, stuff! Paintings, mini-sculpture thingies, and fun craft trinkets that people love."

"Neat."

"So what do you do?" Wendy asks.

"I, uh… not much."

Tyrone shifts uncomfortably, as if he's afraid of telling the truth.

"So… have you had a job?" Mabel asks.

"Yeah… it's just…"

"Hey. We aren't here to judge you. Waddles might be, but we aren't." Dipper says.

"Waddles?"

"The pig."

"Oh, yeah… well… I sort of had a job… dealing."

"... you don't do drugs, do you?" Mabel asks.

"Just weed occasionally. Never the heavy stuff. I've seen it fuck people up too much. There's money in it, but I'm not willing to risk taking it."

"Well then, welcome to the Pines' residence!" Mabel shouts cheerfully.

"You… you don't… you aren't kicking me out?"

"Our Grunkle's a swindler who taught me how to pick locks when I was twelve."

"And we helped him make counterfeit money when we visited in the summer." Dipper adds. Tyrone and Wendy laugh at the Pines' confession. Tyrone sighs, relieved to be allowed to stay.

"So, what was it like growing up?" Tyrone asks his brother.

"It was good. Mabel and I went to live with Stan here for the summer when we were twelve. We grew up in Piedmont. That's where Mom and Dad are. What about you?"

"I grew up in Los Angeles. Kind of a shitty neighborhood. I decided I wanted to get out. And then I found out I was stolen, so I thought 'hey. Maybe my real family isn't trash.' So, yeah. That's the gist of it."

"Sorry that happened. Well, we'll help you get your life together." Mabel says.

"So, Wendy. How do you know my siblings?"

"I used to live in Gravity Falls. We moved in together about a year ago. Me and Mabel live together."

"You're a good couple."

"Thanks."

Tyrone and his new siblings spend the evening reminiscing. Tyrone looks on with interest and hope at his two siblings, listening intently to their discussions, looking towards his brother with wide, beaming eyes. He sees a strange necklace around Dipper's neck.

"What is that?"

"Oh, it's a good luck charm."

Dipper takes out the eye of providence around his neck. Tyrone giggles at the object.

"So, Bill Cipher."

"Huh?"

"Stan told me. Big imagination. Although you'd best look out for illuminati agents. Don't need them getting angry at you stealing their image."

"Nah, it's the freemasons who you've got to worry about. The illuminati started long before we put the eye on the money."

"I'm pretty sure they've got similar goals."

"Oh great. Two conspiracy nutballs." Mabel says.

"Hey!" the brothers reply together. They laugh at their dual minds as Dipper takes another slice of pizza. After the meal, the twins return to the couch. The triplets' great uncle goes to bed early, sneaking into Dipper's room, which was formally Wendy's. Wendy and Mabel sit together while Dipper sits next to his brother, who's pulled the chair over to the couch.

"So, Ty… you want to meet Mom and Dad?" Mabel asks.

"Uh… yeah."

Dipper heads to his room and fetches the laptop. He brings it into the living room and sets it up. Tyrone takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. He jumps up and shakes his wrists to relieve the tension.

"It's alright. They aren't gremlins. Or lizard people." Dipper says.

"That's a dumb conspiracy."

"I know, right? It doesn't make any sense."

"I know. I mean, if you've got the technology to survive underneath for millions of years or travel through space, you aren't going to give a crap about changing the planet's temperature."

"If you two don't mind, we've got to call our parents." Mabel butts in.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, sis." Dipper says. Tyrone snickers as Dipper prepares to call his family. He calls them on the cell phone first, telling them to get on Skype. Several minutes later, the twins' message their parents. Tyrone takes another deep breath as the screen comes on. The triplets' parents look at the screen, staring at the strange man next to the twins.

"Uh, I think there's something wrong with the connection. Your face is there twice." the twins' mother says.

"Nope. Nothing wrong with the connection… Uh… Mom, Dad… this is Tyrone." Mabel says. The twins' parents stare at the screen, wondering who Dipper's doppelganger is. Dipper swallows as he prepares to discuss the situation.

"Uh… I… twenty years ago… in the hospital… we were born… but it wasn't just us, was it? We have a brother."

The twins' parents go silent, staring at the screen. Their mother begins to cry, overwhelmed by the emotions. She covers her mouth between her hands as she sobs.

"You… you're alive?!" Mr. Pines says.

"Yeah. They… someone took me. And I did a DNA test. Hi."

The triplets' father begins to cry as well, shivering with sadness and relief. The twins' parents release the torrent of emotions at being reunited with their long lost son. After a few silent minutes the parents finally turn back to the screen.

"You… Tyrone, right?"

"Yeah. Hi Dad."

"Hi. Well… I guess, welcome to the Pines family."

"Glad to be here. I… I think we have a lot to talk about."

Mrs. Pines laughs lightly as she goes to get a cup of coffee. The family stays up long into the night, discussing everything that has occurred. Dipper and Mabel manage to avoid discussing their shared love, knowing Tyrone would not be like them. Tyrone begins to explain his mad childhood.

"So, I grew up with a bunch of drug addicts… surprised I never tried any, except pot. Pot's good. But there was… a lot of fighting. Screaming, yelling. Sometimes throwing shit around. Mom, well, not mom had a lot of shit boyfriends. And a lot of them were shit to me."

"Did they… you're okay, right?" the twins' mother asks.

"Yeah. They kicked me some. Some psycho punched me real good once. But nothing real bad. Nothing permanent. I got started selling drugs to rich dudes. But then my mother blabbered that I was quote unquote 'adopted.' I got a DNA test done a couple months ago. Asked if there were any records available. Then I found Grunkle Stan."

Wendy smirks at Tyrone's use of the phrase while Dipper and Mabel giggle slightly.

"Then we took a drive over here… I hope we can meet up. For real."

"Yeah. That… that'd be good. Maybe we'll come up during thanksgiving. I… I'm glad you're safe and out of that craphole."

"Thanks, Dad."

"So, are you going to stay with Dipper and Mabel?" the twins' mother asks.

"Yeah. For the time being. I'll get a job and everything. I don't need to be leeching off of my twins."

"Yeah… I just can't believe it. We never… we thought it was hopeless. That you were a goner."

"How come you never told us?" Mabel asks.

"It's… well, it hurt. A lot… we should have… there are a lot of things we should have done. And telling you was one of them… but we didn't think it mattered anymore. They looked for months. Years, even. Never found a trace, except that weird blonde lady that stole you."

"Yeah, that would be my crazy not-mom. She… she definitely should have left me, I'll say that."

Tyrone chuckles sadly, attempting to hide the damage within. Mabel offers a shoulder in reassurance, frowning sadly at Tyrone's pain.

"It'll be alright, bro. Us Pines twins are tough and rough. We don't let anything get us down!"

Tyrone smirks at Mabel while turning to Dipper. He smiles warmly at his sibling before turning back to his parents.

"So, what's been happening with you two? Any movies, or something?"

"Well, uh, we… we just went to see the big budget Star Galactors. But it was kind of crap." Mr. Pines says.

"I never watched it. I saw it once and turned it off." Ty replies. Dipper remembers the show and begins to speak fondly of it.

"Yeah, it was never that good. We loved it, Mabel and I. Watched that stupid show 'til we could quote every line. Just like Duck-tective."

"You like Duck-tective?! I thought I was the only one!"

"Nope. It's unappreciated genius." Mabel says.

"It will be studied by scholars for many years." Dipper adds.

"It's, like, the best… every time you watch it, you find something new to laugh at."

"I know. They're starting to make a new show. Hope it lives up to the original." Dipper says.

"I doubt it. That almost never works."

"Yeah… So Dad. What's happening?" Dipper asks.

"Not much. Life's been pretty normal."

"Aside from this surprise." Mabel says.

"Yeah. I'm… I'm glad. It's nice to meet you, Tyrone."

"Thanks."

The clock ticks by as the triplets speak with their parents, going over their separate lives. They manage to dodge any reference to the twins' love, and the triplets say goodnight once they realize how long they've been staying up. Dipper shuts the laptop off as the clock reads "2:07 A.M."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow." Dipper says.

"Yeah. You guys are awesome. Thanks."

"Goodnight." Mabel says. She leaves with Wendy to their room while Dipper sits with his brother.

"So. Glad to have you here."

"Thanks… so, you got any friends or something?"

"Something, eh?... no, I'm not in the dating scene right now."

"A guy as cute as you?" Ty says, not realizing that he just complimented his brother's appearance.

"Yeah. It's weird, isn't it? Some people find the right one right away, others screw up a bunch… and then I can't even get anyone to give me the time of day!"

"Well, you're going to have to fix that… Alright… well, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Dipper leaves to his new room, in which a loud, snoring Grunkle awaits. Ty stretches before falling onto the couch, sleeping peacefully through the night for the first time in many months. He dreams happily of a life he never had, growing up beside his siblings and, weirdly enough, a golden triangle in a top hat that speaks in reverse. The three triplets join together to help banish the demonic entity, and Ty walks away happily with his siblings into the sunset.

Ty wakes up from his dream's cheesy ending to the smell of sizzling sausage and the sound of yawning family members. Ty looks up, energetic and ready for the world. Yet he sees his twins, exhausted from their lack of sleep. Mabel scratches her unkempt hair as she pours a cup of coffee while Dipper focuses on breakfast. Ty stands up and goes to the kitchen, sitting next to his great uncle, the only other person to sleep soundly on account of nearly being deaf.

"So, how do you plan on getting back to Gravity Falls?" Dipper asks, not simply curious but desperate to be away from his great uncle's deafening snore.

"I'll get Soos and Melody to bring me back up."

"So, how are they?"

"They're good. Got another kid on the way."

"That's sweet. What're they naming the little bundle of joy?" Mabel asks.

"Jessica."

"Good name." Ty says.

After breakfast, Dipper takes Ty to help him clean up and prepare for his new life. He hands over a bottle of shampoo and pine scented cologne. Dipper waits for his brother to clear the air and joins his lovers in the kitchen. Stan is using the phone to request a pickup from his surrogate son.

"So, how was your night?" Dipper asks Wendy and Mabel.

"Bad. Your sister's fidgety."

"And Wendy talks in her sleep."

"Yeah. Grunkle Stan's got one loud snore." Dipper replies back. Dipper stretches his spine while Stan comes walks back to the table.

"Well, I'll be out of your hair soon. Melody's going to see the doctor today, so they won't be able to drive here until tomorrow. Sorry about the snoring."

"Thanks." Dipper says.

After Ty finishes in the shower, the newly clean twin lets Dipper in, followed by Mabel and Wendy. The three hidden lovers go their separate ways, leaving Ty alone with his great uncle.

"So, you like having a twin?"

"Yeah. They're both awesome. I'll start looking for work today… so, they all seem really close, I've noticed."

"Yeah. Dipper and Mabel have stuck together through everything."

"Sad I couldn't be there with them."

"I know… so what were your parents like? Your not-mom?"

"Bit of a control freak. Her boyfriends were massive shitheads… they… they weren't nice."

"I see that… if you ever, you know… need someone to listen… I'll do my best."

"Thanks… but I think I can make it…"

"So… my dad was a bit rough… never hit me, but he never let me off easy. Me and my brother."

"A twin?"

"Yeah … I… I miss him…"

Stan shudders before burying his pain, holding everything in.

"I'm sorry… what… oh, never mind."

"Wondering how he died?"

"Uh… sorry."

"Ah, it's okay… it was a car crash. He lived in Gravity Falls, actually. Used the Mystery Shack as his own personal studies… and then, well, it happened… it was all really fast… I ran away… I started selling the heavy stuff, and I took a lot of it too. Drugs, booze. Needed to escape… but you can't escape the truth. I finally kicked the habit… although sometimes it's tough to not just go up to some shady fellow and ask for some of the good stuff."

"I…"

Ty moves closer to his great uncle, holding the old man in a hug. Stan pats Ty on the back as tears pour down his face. Some miles away, Dipper is in the halls outside his class during nap time. His boss walks out, a friendly face and his hair greying, and leans against the wall with Dipper.

"Hey Dipper."

"Hi Greg."

"Looking after your kids?"

"Yeah."

Dipper takes a peak into the room, seeing if any kids need his help.

"So, anything new, Dipper?"

"Something big. I've got a brother I never knew about."

"What? Holy shit."

"Shh. The kids might hear."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. But yeah, holy that word I said. How'd you find him?"

"He came to us. My great uncle has his DNA on record on account of his, well, criminal background. Then Ty, my brother, came with him over here."

"Neat."

"So… Ty's kind of… without a job right now… is there anything around here?"

"Actually, I was looking to hire another person. Do you know if he's good with kids?"

"Pretty sure it runs in the family."

"What about drugs?"

"None that I know of. He's a pretty good guy, and since he's like me I'm sure he'll be a fast learner." Dipper replies, tapping his fingers on his pants nervously, knowing he's lying for his brother.

"Maybe I'll hire him as an assistant. Let him get a handle on things."

"I'll help him out. Show him how things go."

"That's good. When can he start?"

"I'd say tomorrow would be good."

"Great."

Dipper smiles brightly at the opportunity to help his brother. After class, Dipper leaves to go pick up Mabel from her attempts at selling her art on the street. Dipper finds a burnt out Mabel on the street with several unsold pictures at her side. Mabel places her artwork in the back of the car and scoots in the front.

"You look tired, sis."

"Yeah. Lot of work."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"That's because you aren't a salesman. Me and Grunkle have that down pat. You gotta reel 'em in, like fish. Poor tasty fish."

"Rip fish. Your sacrifices are not in vain."

Mabel laughs with her brother as he drives away. As the sun begins to set, Dipper and Mabel meet back up at the apartment. Stan is sitting on the couch with Waddles.

"So, where's Ty?" Dipper asks.

"He's in the bathroom."

"Okay. I think I have a job offer."

"What is it?"

"My daycare is hiring an assistant."

"Watching kids? You think he's up for it?"

"Trust me."

As if fate were mocking Dipper, Ty takes this moment to step out of the bathroom. His eyes are slightly bloodshot and he carries a lit joint with him. He sits down on the couch while Mabel snickers at her Dipper's enthusiasm to hire Ty.

"Oh, hey guys. How was your day?" Ty asks.

"Uh, fine… I think I have a job… but you're gonna have to… not do that." Dipper replies.

"Not do what? Oh, you want one?"

Ty offers Dipper a joint.

"Uh, no thanks. I don't think the parents would approve of this."

"Uh, what?"

"Parents. Daycare. Job. You."

"I… oh… yeah, I don't think they want me doing this."

Ty looks at his joint and sighs disappointedly.

"I'll finish these two. Then I'll stop."

"That's good. Kids are fast, and you'll need to keep your brain fast enough to deal with them."

"Yeah… I know. Have you ever had one?"

"Couple times. But parents will throw a fit if they know you're doing that. I mean, you can wait for another job. There's nothing-"

"No, no I'm good. Probably for the best."

Dipper takes a seat next to his twin while Mabel goes to begin work on supper. Ty finish his last joint and throws the remains in the trash.

"Yeah… better throw it out, rather than get hooked. Right, bro?" Ty says slowly.

"Yeah… so do you think your not-mom is going to show up?"

"Her?... nah. Doubt it. I mean, whatever she wanted me for, it wasn't enough for her to not be… a b-word."

"You can swear."

"Not if I'm going to be watching kids." Ty says with a grin. Once Wendy comes home, the family takes their seats around the kitchen table.

"So, Dipper, what was it like growing up?" Ty asks, now sober and attentive.

"It was good, with some bumpy starts."

"What happened?"

"Parents split for a bit… but they just needed some time away from each other, I guess."

"They seem happy now. Glad it worked out."

"Thanks."

Ty pats Dipper on the back, smiling into his older brother's brown eyes. Ty looks away and grabs the salt, using a more than a liberal amount on his chicken.

"Nice and salty."

"I see that." Dipper says.

"Do you like it?"

"Eh, not too much. I guess we have a different definition of too much."

"I love it. I need it."

Dipper chuckles as he grabs another tender. After the meal, the triplets sit on the couch with Wendy. Stan goes to bed early, leaving the four flipping through the channels. Dipper happens upon a rerun of "Why you Ackin so Cray Cray" that he remembers all too well. He stops on the show, the one that Mabel and Dipper watched and discovered they felt the same way about each other. The two incestuous cousins begin fighting over a paternity test.

"Wow. Rednecks ahoy." Ty mutters, giggling slightly.

"They are silly, aren't they?" Dipper says.

"I know. Inbreeding is definitely a bad idea."

"I know… but whatever."

"What? You aren't grossed out?"

"Me? No. I don't care about them. So long as there's no mutant incest babies sprouting out, I don't see why they can't have a relationship."

"Yeah. I guess you're right. But still, it would be weird if, like, you and Mabel were a thing."

Dipper and Mabel laugh together, hiding the truth behind their lie. Wendy yawns as the triplets continue to watch the show. But Ty thinks back on Dipper's words. How he seems perfectly alright with incestuous relationships. Ty himself has sometimes wondered about such relationships. And he realizes he's never felt disgusted or angered by the prospect, even though he jokes plenty. Ty shrugs as the four relax on the couch.

The following day, Stan leaves with Melody and Soos. Soos takes Stan's car while Melody follows behind, and Dipper sighs in relief that he won't have to suffer another night with his great uncle's snoring. Dipper drives his brother to the daycare, both prepared for Ty's interview before the classes start.

Dipper and Ty meet up with Dipper's boss before the toddlers arrive. He looks over the slightly raggedy adult, with his long coat, torn jeans, and messy undershirt. Ty's breathing is low and deep, trying to maintain control over his emotions. He feels like a prized pig being selected for slaughter out of all the others. The boss finally speaks to him, smirking at his nervous behavior.

"Well, you'll need to lose the 'pothead' look. But other than that, I'd say you're good to go. In fact, why don't you show him around, Dipper?"

"Uh, thanks!" Ty utters excitedly.

"Now?" Dipper says.

"Yeah. If he's as good as you, he'll catch on quick." Dipper's boss replies.

Ty grabs his boss's hand and shakes rapidly. Dipper shows his brother around while they wait for the small children to arrive. One by one, the drooling toddlers and screaming three year olds are dropped off, farting and laughing and engaging in all forms of anarchy and chaos while the adults try their best to maintain order. Dipper and Ty move into their classroom with their students. They look at the brothers, staring in awe. Several begin backing away, afraid of Ty and not knowing how to handle the twins.

"So… this is my brother, Ty."

"Hi." Ty says with a nervous wave. A three year old with pink pigtails walks over. She stares up at the adult, looking for his birthmark.

"Where's the mark?"

"I… I don't have one."

"Then you aren't his brother?"

"Uh, no. We're brothers."

"But you don't have the mark."

Ty and the three year old spend several minutes trying to argue why he is, in fact, Dipper's brother. Dipper watches his brother closely, making sure he doesn't lose his calm with the oblivious toddler. But eventually she relents, and Ty lets out a silent breath as the tot skips back to her seat. He smiles, brushing off the absurd conversation as the twins prepare to teach basic math skills to the group. Ty helps several kids with their math questions and Dipper helps Ty translate his brain's inner thoughts into words the children can understand. During nap time, Ty and Dipper hang out in the hallway.

"So Ty, how do you like this?"

"Better than my first job, even if it doesn't pay as well."

"Which was?"

"That thing that must never be named here."

"Oh, right. That."

Dipper chuckles awkwardly as his boss walks up.

"So, how is everything?" the older man asks.

"Great. I like this job." Ty replies.

"That's good. I hope you stay."

"I plan on it."

"Nice. We'll just need a urine sample after all the kids leave."

Ty smirks while tapping his fingers against his jeans nervously.

"I'm sure he'll ace it." Dipper says. He pats Ty on the back, and the younger brother lets out a sigh.

"Well, I've got some paperwork to finish up. I'll leave you fellows here."

Greg walks off, leaving the twins together. Ty sputters in irritation, knowing he will likely fail the drug test.

"I'll take the test." Dipper says.

"Wh… really?"

"Yeah. You're a good guy. You can't help it if some old goofball will fire you for trying some dope."

"Thank you… seriously, thank you."

Ty hugs Dipper, holding his older brother and clenching his hands into Dipper's shirt. Ty moves away, a wide, hopeful smile beaming across his face. At the end of the day, after all the parents have taken their children, the twins walk towards the nurse's office. Greg waits outside with a drug testing kit while the twins remain in the nurse's office. Ty goes towards the bathroom, but Dipper is the one who uses the cup. He makes sure he's out of Greg's periphery before quickly shoving the plastic cup between his zipper and peeing. He knocks on the bathroom door, and the twins walk out. Dipper hands the cup over to his oblivious boss. After Dipper gets Ty cleared, the twins make their way out the door.

"Thanks, Dipper. I mean, really."

"It's just a stupid drug test. No biggy."

The week passes, and the twins quickly become popular with the parents, explaining many times over how they came to know each other. When the twins come home for the weekend, Mabel has already been there for several hours. And in that short time, she has already built up a party room in the living room. A karaoke machine sits beside the television, a disco ball hangs from a string glued to the ceiling, and a large mat for dancing on is in the center of the living room. A large chocolate cake sits by the kitchen table with the words "Happy Anniversary, Ty!" written in cherry glaze.

"Uh, anniversary?"

"Yeah, Ty. It's been a week!"

"It's only been six days."

"Which is one week if you're on Venus."

"I… um… okay."

"Just roll with it." Dipper says, smiling at Mabel's surprise party. Wendy finishes ordering the pizza for the family, and Dipper has his parents on Skype to be a part of the party. The triplets begin their celebrations. Mabel and Waddles share their piece of cake while Dipper and Ty sit next to each other, talking to their parents. Ty begins telling his parents about one of his kids.

"So then I was like, 'oh shit' because Jeff had started peeing all over his pants and my pants, except I realized I was starting to curse and said 'oh shiblurble.'"

The triplets' parents laugh at his story while Mabel prepares the karaoke machine. And Ty hears the song that has begun to play.

"Ugh, not this."

"Taking over Midnight? It's the best song there is!" Dipper says.

"One, you're weird. Two, it sucks after your crazy, drunk not-mom keeps playing it nonstop."

"Grinchy Grinch needs some Christmas joy." Mabel says.

"It's September."

"Exactly. Too many months in between makes people grumbily grumps."

Mabel invites her brothers to dance with her. She restarts the song, and Dipper and Mabel begin to sing a duet.

"Come on, this is dumb."

Dipper drags Ty into a hug, placing one arm around Ty's neck while holding his other hand to Ty's face, presenting an invisible microphone. Ty rolls his eyes before joining in with their song. Wendy and the parents watch, laughing at the triplets' poor singing voice. The agonizing sound seems to worry Waddles, who desperately licks Mabel's hand to help save her from the madness possessing her. The four friends laugh as the song comes to a close.

"This… I love you guys." Ty says.

The triplets and Wendy party until it's nearly dawn. They see the sky turn light blue, realizing how late they've been up.

"Oh… oh boy." Wendy says with a yawn.

"Yeah… we should get to bed." the twins' mother says. As the months pass, Ty falls into his rhythm with the twins.

"I've found my home." he says, watching Dipper and Mabel blabber together while cooking. He looks at Dipper's rhythm. His body, his smile. Ty feels a flicker in his chest. Something tugging lightly at his heartstrings, a strange pulse through his body while watching Dipper move.

"Uh oh."

Tyrone looks away, ashamed by his strange behavior.

"Something wrong, broseph?" Mabel asks.

"Oh, uh, it's nothing."

"'Uh, it's nothing!'" she says, mocking her brother. Dipper and Mabel laugh, not realizing that their brother is beginning to develop the same feelings that his siblings dealt with years before. Ty begins to hide his dark secret, never spending too much time next to Dipper, especially when Dipper goes shirtless around the house. The sight makes Ty's mind go to places he never thought it could. Thoughts of his brother without his shirt. Thoughts of Dipper removing even more of his clothes. As Ty masturbates late in the night, he thinks about what his brother once said. About how he doesn't mind incestuous couples.

"I… oh fuck." Ty mutters, finishing into a napkin. He throws the dirty tissue away and returns to his room. He takes out a piece of paper titled "Boyfriend Steps".

"Okay… step one. Wait until we're alone… or… or maybe, find that one show again… ask him if he's, like, changed his mind. Because that could be… no. Step one should be watching a movie under the… no, that's farther ahead. Step one is banter. Just chat and laugh and have fun… or should that be step… ugh…"

Ty sighs, wasting away the hours on his obsessive list. He waits until Wendy has gone to work and Mabel is about to leave, which would leave him alone with Dipper on the day he goes shopping for groceries. Mabel is getting ready to go when she sits on the couch.

"You know what? I have three vacation days. I'm using one."

"What?" Ty says.

"Yeah. I'm staying in."

"Great!" Dipper says.

"Yeah. Just us trip's, hanging out together."

"Neat. I still need to get the groceries. I'll go fast. Then we can watch movies together."

"I'm calling Wendy back."

"You, you sure she'll come?" Ty asks.

"Yep. We always take same days off."

"I, uh… okay then."

Ty walks away, muttering to himself about whether he should go with Dipper or not.

"Just… maybe… no, too many people. I don't want to make a scene."

Ty watches as Dipper walks out, leaving him with Mabel, who is currently chatting with Wendy on the phone. Ty paces back and forth with the paper in his hand, wondering how he should say the words.

"It's just… come on, tell him… but he'll… ugh… just stick to the plan… just stick to the plan… 'hey, I know you said you didn't mind it…' then wait 'til you're both ready… ugh… this should be easy."

Mabel walks over to Ty's room as he crunches up the paper. He drops it in the trash and sighs, dropping his arms dejectedly.

"What's wrong, broski?"

"It's nothing… just… eh, it's nothing."

"Hey, Mabes knows when someone's got their heartstrings tangled."

"Wh- really?"

"Yep. You and Dipper are both an open book."

Mabel sits on the couch with Ty. He kicks his legs like an awkward child trying to give someone a love poem. He behaves exactly how Dipper did when he first tried to tell Wendy he liked her.

"So… who's the lucky girl?"

"Guy… Someone from work."

"Who is it?"

"Eh, you don't know him… but I just… ugh…"

"Don't worry. All you have to do is ask."

"It… you make it sound so easy."

"It is. It. is. easy. Simply walk up and go 'yo! I wanna make nookie!'"

Tyrone laughs with Mabel. She rests a hand on his shoulder and he turns his gaze to her, smiling warmly.

"You are awesome, Mabel. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. And remember. Rejection is easy. I've had it a bunch of times until I found the right gal."

"Oh… alright… I'll… I'll ask him. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Good. You'd better report back to me, your official matchmaker!"

"I will. Thank you."

Mabel leaves her scrawny brother on the couch, and his hopeful façade dissipates. He realizes how hopeless his love is. How absolutely weird he is, and the chance that Dipper would reciprocate his feelings are abysmally low.

"I… fuck… why me?..."

The next day, Ty meets Dipper during nap time in the hall. Ty looks towards his muscular, chiseled brother, feeling his heart jump and explode in his chest.

"So, hey Dip."

"What's up?"

"I was just wondering… I know you… so, how about that new Duck-tective show?"

"I think it's good so far. I'd even say it's a bit better than the original show."

"Blasphemy!"

"I am a heretic, and I deserve to be punished."

"Then I'll have to punish you later."

Ty's voice comes out far too sultry for what he intended, and he swallows nervously. But Dipper, with his wonderful, kind, oblivious nature doesn't pick up on his brother's Freudian blunder. He simply drags Ty into a hug, holding his goofy, nervous brother with an arm around his neck. Over the next week, Ty tortures himself with his list. His schedule for building up to his feelings. He looks at himself in the mirror.

"You really think Dipper would care about you? You dumbhead. Don't know what you're doing… shit…"

Ty looks through the door. He sees Dipper humming along to the beat of a commercial jingle, seemingly all too innocent to Ty's eyes.

"Just… just tell him now… get it over with."

Ty stands and goes to meet Dipper in the kitchen. The muscular brother looks back towards his younger sibling, smiling as he leaves the stew cooking.

"So… Dip… I've been… needing to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"You, just… I… huh…"

Dipper puts a hand on his brother's shoulder. Ty smiles weakly at Dipper.

"Hey… it's alright."

"It's just… argh… you haven't been… you said you didn't give a crap about siblings, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"On… on that show… and since you're my brother, you're either gay or bi like me…"

"Well, some guys are nice… I… are you?..."

"Oh, to hell with it."

Ty pushes his face against Dipper's. He holds Dipper's head, rubbing his hands along his brother's cheeks. Dipper rests a hand on Ty's shoulder, feeling weak in the knees. He pushes Ty away, breathing heavily.

"I… wow… that's new…"

Ty looks worriedly, filled with dread for what he's done. He begins moving away before breaking into a run, trying to get out of the apartment. Dipper runs after him and grabs his brother's arm. He drags Ty into an embrace, holding him affectionately.

"I'm sorry. I fucked it up. I shouldn't… fuck."

Ty begins shuddering on the verge of tears. But Dipper simply cups his head, holding Ty to his shoulder.

"It's alright. It's alright… we… I think there's something you should know. We'll talk with Wendy and Mabel later."

"…You don't hate me?"

"Hell no. You aren't weird. You aren't a freak. Get those thoughts out of your head… it's… it'll be alright."

Tyrone sighs in relief as he moves away. He looks into his brother's eyes and smiles. Dipper and Tyrone return to the kitchen. They sit close, waiting for the hour when Wendy and Mabel will return. Dipper keeps an arm on his brother's shoulder, preventing the scraggy adult from running away in fear.

"So… when did this start?" Dipper asks.

"Just… about a month ago… thought you were… hot…"

"Well, thank you… you aren't so bad yourself…"

"Are… are you… bi?"

"Uh, to be fair… I've never really thought about it… but I wasn't completely revolted … so… maybe?"

"It's… I'm sorry… I shouldn't of."

"It's fine. I mean, it caught me off guard… but it wasn't creepy or anything."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You're my brother. I love you. A lot… maybe even… that…"

Tyrone reaches a hand for his brother's. Dipper grabs and holds firm, reassuring him that everything would be alright. The twins sit together for the hour. Mabel comes home and saunters into the kitchen, smelling the stew in the slow cooker.

"That smells wonderful."

"It does, doesn't it?" Ty says.

"So, how was your day?" Dipper asks his sister.

"It was banana pants crazy!"

"So the usual. When's Wendy gonna be back?"

"I just got off the phone. She'll be here right about…"

Mabel waits for Wendy to enter the apartment. After several long, awkward seconds she turns back to her siblings.

"… Dang it. I was hoping I'd be right."

"You'll get it right one time, sis." Dipper says.

"I will. That is my vow!" Mabel shouts dramatically. Mabel sits with her siblings while waiting for Wendy to arrive. Ty begins taking deep breathes, waiting for the hour of judgment. Yet Dipper keeps him reassured, sitting close and keeping his fingers laced with Ty's. Once Wendy returns, Dipper stands up and goes to retrieve her.

"'Sup?" Wendy says.

"Hi. We need to have a chat."

"What is it?"

"Just… we should sit down."

Wendy shrugs as she follows Dipper to the kitchen. Wendy and Mabel sit across from Dipper and Ty. Dipper coughs to gain their attention.

"I… Ty and I were wondering. Would you both like to try… dating."

"Huh?" Wendy says. Mabel scratches her head while Ty lets out a deep breath. Dipper takes his brother's hand and sets their hands on the table. He holds firmly, showing Wendy and Mabel what he means.

"Oh… wait… huh?" Mabel says.

"Well… I… sort of… kissed him…" Ty says, his voice barely above a whisper. Wendy and Mabel begin blushing while Dipper looks to them, hoping that even if they don't want another member in their relationship that they'll understand.

"So… I have to admit… it wasn't bad… and… I think we should, even if nothing comes from it, clue our bro in."

"Huh?" Ty says.

"Well… Dipster and I… and Wendy, sort of have this thing going. We haven't been hanging as closely, since we thought, you know, you'd get all freaked out."

"I… really?"

"Yeah. We started… well, first it was me and Dipper. Then we moved in with our besty."

"And I thought 'these twins are awesome. Shame we can't make it a fearsome threesome.' Then they asked me out… we've been together ever since."

"You… you're all together?"

Ty's voice is hopeful, yet confused. He seems to look forward to whatever is coming, even if he doesn't fully understand.

"Yeah… so I was wondering. Mabel, Wendy… do you want to bring him in?"

"Well… I've always had a double Dipper fantasy." Mabel says.

"I… we could try it. See what happens." Wendy says.

"What do you say, bro?" Mabel asks Ty.

"I… yes… yes…"

Ty and Dipper both let out a collective sigh of relief. Mabel smirks at her brothers' shared reaction. She bites her bottom lip while tapping her fingers on the table.

"Dip… Ty… I want to see you kiss…"

Mabel's voice is less of a request and more of a command. Wendy blushes while looking at the twin brothers, who stare in shock. Dipper turns to his brother and moves closer. He threads his fingers through Ty's hair as he pulls him into an embrace. Ty laces his fingers with Dipper's as they pull in for a kiss. Dipper presses his lips to Ty's, delicately moving with his brother. He smells the pine cologne and inhales, sucking in the scent. Ty places a tender hand on Dipper's neck, rubbing the stubble and tickling Dipper's body. The twins pull away, breathing heavily and blushing deeply.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm definitely bi." Dipper says. Ty and Dipper laugh as they pull apart. Mabel has a mischievous look in her eyes while Wendy is blushing and breathing heavily.

"That… was hotter than I thought it'd be." Wendy says.

"So… you fellows want to go to a movie after dinner?" Dipper asks.

"Yeah, like, that'd be great." Mabel replies.

"Yep. I'm up for it." Wendy says, far more into the prospect of twin Dippers than before. After dinner, Dipper and Ty return to their room, sorting through their clothes and attempting not to blush. Ty smiles as Dipper adjusts his shirt, fiddling and messing with the buttons.

"You… I love you, bro."

"In more ways than one."

Ty smirks before walking up to Dipper. His face is inches from his. Dipper can feel the hot breath of his brother and the sensation tickling his spine. Ty presses his lips against Dipper's before sliding a hand up his shirt, tickling his chest. The meeting of tongues and lips is interrupted with a grunt. Ty and Dipper turn to see Wendy and Mabel looking in, both wearing mischievous expressions.

"You know, bro and bro… I think the movie can wait."

Ty and Dipper go silent as Wendy and Mabel move into the room, shutting the door and locking the twins in.

"Well… go on." Mabel says with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Dipper and Ty, both breathing heavily, move onto the bed. Dipper and Ty kiss before their audience. Ty slides a hand up his brother's shirt. Light moans and gasps release from Dipper's mouth. Ty kisses Dipper's neck as his hands move to a far more intimate spot. Ty unbuckles Dipper's belt and unzips his pants. Dipper bulges through his underwear as Ty moves lower. Mabel and Wendy have pulled their panties down, spreading their legs as they watch the brothers. Dipper looks down into Ty's eyes. They focus together as Ty slips Dipper's dick out. He licks the tip before taking Dipper's member into his mouth, moving his head down.

"Ty… holy crap."

Dipper sees Ty's mouth curve into a devious grin as he forces Dipper's entire penis into his mouth. Mabel and Wendy continue watching, fingering each other as their faces burn red with lust. Mabel's fingers push deep into Wendy, pulling up as the redhead moans. Dipper looks towards his sister and Wendy as Ty moves up and down. The two pairs, both in the heat of the moment, move together on the small bed. Dipper unbuckles Ty's belt and rips his pants down, taking out the throbbing member. Dipper smiles as he moves into position, pressing his pelvis against Ty's. The twins begin rhythmically moving together while Dipper holds his and his brother's cocks together, moaning and panting like mad dogs in heat. Wendy and Mabel have nearly brought themselves to the peak simply by watching Dipper and Ty rubbing against each other.

"Oh… fuck… fuck!"

Ty shoots his seed straight onto Dipper's chest, who begins cumming moments later. Wendy and Mabel finish up as Dipper and his brother lay panting on the bed. Wendy and Mabel move in with their lovers, snuggling in for the day.

"That… was something." Ty says.

"Yeah… damn, yeah." Dipper moans, completely out of breath with the intensity of the moment.

"I… can definitely get used to this." Dipper says. The four lovers move into the living room, leaving the scent of their lovemaking to be cleaned later. Dipper snuggles into Ty's chest while Wendy and Mabel lay together on the other side of the couch.

"So… how do you keep this a secret from our mom and dad?" Ty asks.

"Actually, uh… they know." Dipper replies.

"They do?... And they're okay with that?"

"Well… not exactly. I mean, they love us, they try to be there for us… but we just try to ignore it… do you think we should tell them?"

"I… I don't think so. It'll be too weird."

"Yeah."

"Although I do want to talk a bit more."

"We could call them, see if they have time for a video call."

"Yeah, okay."

The triplets and Wendy sit on their new couch before the laptop. They begin the call to their parents, relaxing happily. Dipper sits between Wendy and Ty, with Mabel sitting next to Ty on the left side of the couch, humming happily as she leans against her brother's shoulder. The triplets' parents appear on screen, giving a wave to their bizarre children.

"Hello." Mrs. Pines says.

"Hi. What's new?" Ty asks.

"Nothing really. I see you're all getting along."

"Yeah. Got the best family a guy could ask for."

"That's good. So what's been happening with you?" Mr. Pines asks.

"Nothing really. The job's going great. I love the kids. Little goofballs."

"I know. Jeff and George kept getting scared of walking into the bathroom because it was too dark." Dipper adds.

"Yeah. Kids are silly. Dipper used to be terrified of this little puppet we got for Mabel."

"That thing was terrifying and you know it." Dipper says, earning a few laughs from Mabel and Ty.

"Yeah. I used to be scared of flashing lights outside not-mom's windows… still terrifying, actually." Ty says, laughing at the dark reality of his early life. Dipper pulls him into a hug, and Ty smiles up at him.

"Yeah, I had it rough… but I'm glad to have these awesome twins now."

"Glad to have you, too." Dipper says.

"So Mabel, how's your art stuff coming along?" the twins' mother asks.

"Going good. Starting to get my pictures and craft doodads sold, so I should be able to get some money into this little house."

"That's good. We just saw that new Duck-tective show… I don't get it."

"You lack the serenity of higher thought that is required for such a sophisticated show." Mabel says, placing her fingers over her chest and speaking in a pompous, disdainful tone. The triplets' parents laugh with their daughter's strange sense of humor. Ty elbows Mabel playfully as the triplets lean in together. The triplets' mother notices their closeness. They behave less like siblings or friends and more like lovers. She also notices that Dipper is sitting next to Wendy again, no longer using the ruse that Mabel and Wendy are by themselves. The triplets' mother lets out a sigh before turning to her husband.

"So, could you get me a soda, please?"

"Alright. But you owe me a backrub later."

"Will do."

Mr. Pines goes to get the beverage for his wife. She turns to the camera and smirks.

"So… I guess you got Ty involved."

"I, wh-what are you talking about?" Ty asks in a tone far too nervous to appear innocent.

"Yeah… we've… got a thing going." Dipper says.

"So… how did love end up like this?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"No idea. Maybe something in the water."

"That could be." Wendy says.

"Hey Mom, does the water taste differently than it used too?" Dipper asks.

"No. Nothing I've noticed."

"So we're probably just… different. I mean, I've always been off in the head."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." Mabel says as she moves in and kisses Dipper on the cheek. Ty smiles brightly, happy to have found his family at last.