Wynn stared at her hands blankly. It wasn't working. Maybe there was a reason that no girls had ever been Ranger's. Maybe she should give up too.
Her hands fisted and her teeth clenched and a tear rolled down her cheek. This wasn't right, how could she just give up? She could move undetected, she'd done it but she wasn't getting any better! This is what happened to the other women who avoided tradition and tried to become a Ranger. They wouldn't have become apprentices if they didn't have the ability, so what was wrong? Why couldn't they manage it?
Will was going to tell her that it wasn't working any day now. He was going to tell her that it was a mistake to start her apprenticeship. At that moment in time, all she wanted was to get this right, to spend half a decade training ruthlessly, to become a Ranger.
Wynn was close to breaking out in frustrated sobs when something deep within her hardened. Stop! She told herself furiously. Calm down. Take three deep breaths and think. No amount of crying will help you. Wynn slowly took three deep breaths, feeling herself calm down with every breath.
Okay, she thought, there's something I'm missing here. I have the ability, I know it, there's something wrong. Which means something is different. THINK!
Standing up, Wynn strode to the full length mirror in the corner of the room and studied herself mercilessly. "What are the differences between male and female?" She demanded of her reflection.
"Body shape." She answered herself. "No that can't be the problem. Temperament? Not with me."
Wynn had a sudden flashback of her mother combing her hair.
"You should act more like a lady Wynnie." Her mother cooed. "You're very beautiful and a beautiful girl like you should act like a lady."
Thirteen year old Wynnifred huffed. "I'm no lady, Ma."
"You could have fooled me, Wynnie. You have all of these lovely skirts, and beautiful long hair."
"I'm still not a lady."
Returning to the present Wynn took a step closer to the mirror and whispered a reply to her thirteen year old self. "But I look like one."
How many times had her hair gotten in the way when she was about to shoot? How many times had she tripped on her skirt while trying to move without being seen? And what's more is that it wasn't only that. She rode Patch side-saddle and spent hours making sure her clothes were spotless. She wasn't a lady though, she was in between.
And far too feminine for the job.
Wynn took a large chunk of her hair and looked at it for five minutes. Today she would lose something: her future as a Ranger or her femininity. One had to go.
She looked back into her mirror. Before dropping her hair, taking her saxe knife and walking out the door. Will was sitting on one of his chairs on the porch; he raised his eyebrow when he saw her. "What are you doing?" he asked as she sat on the edge.
Wynn took a chunk of her hair in one hand and gripped her saxe knife in the other and got to work as she answered. "Giving myself a haircut."