Usual disclaimers apply
Jack had broken his promise. Without even realising it he had forgotten the one man he had promised never to forget. Ianto had always known that Jack would forget him, it would take him a while but he would forget – or leave and never come back. Jack had left but 4 years later he had returned to Earth. He had rebuilt the Torchwood hub and the email Ianto had set up on his sister's laptop had automatically sent to the new Hub's computers. And it was that that had made Jack remember.
The mail was sent at 4:39am on a Friday morning as Jack browsed through the huge number of mails from UNIT, the government and various other important places. The mail intrigued Jack as soon as it appeared for its mysterious title and curious "anonymous sender" label. So, ignoring the newest mail from the Prime Minister, Jack clicked on the anonymous mail called "Welsh" There was only one line of text, so vague that it confused Jack.
I knew you would forget me Jack.
Jack felt a twinge of regret when he realised that this must have been an old lover of his. Must have been welsh he guessed. Jack shrugged and clicked on the attachment, it only took a second to load and when it had uploaded Jack gasped as the most gorgeous man appeared onscreen. Ianto. The memory of Ianto's death resurfaced violently. Then the music started, a haunting welsh voice singing softly.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
Jack's hands flew to his head to cover his ears. He remembered his promise. The promise he had broken. He remembered the man he loved, the man who had died in his arms. The music continued and try as he might Jack could hear it.
You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Jack's head snapped up. Was that how Ianto had felt? Unimportant? Insignificant? Unloved? Had he, Jack, proved those assumptions correct? No! He refused to believe that he had proved everything he had sworn to Ianto was not true.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Though Jack fought to keep control of his emotions the tears began to fall, thick and fast, onto the computer keys. He'd promised Ianto he would not forget him, not even after a thousand years. He had forgotten the Welshman after only four. Four measly years. What kind of monster did that make him?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?"
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
"Forgive me," he whispered to the empty room "Ianto, please forgive me." There was no answer, of course, he was alone. Alone with an email and his guilt, guilt that was sure to kill him.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
It was the final straw for Jack. He did care for the dead Welshman. He cared so much that he had to bury his memories with Ianto's body. To stop the pain from tearing him apart, something Ianto wouldn't have wanted. Now, with the memories he'd fought so hard to forget were more painful than a thousand knives. A thousand deaths. Nothing he had ever felt before had hurt this much. "I love you," he muttered over and over again, blue eyes swimming with sadness, wide with pain and regret.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
As the song came to an end Jack slumped over the desk, sobbing for the Welshman that he had long since lost, and vowed to never love again.