Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: Teen. Some sexual things noted in this fic.
Summary: Greg and the team take another shot at being detectives.
"Why are we doing this again?" Sara asked guarding the door to Grissom's office.
"Because, we need to know who is getting the raise."
"Why don't we just ask them?"
"Because Grissom will say all this weird analogies and stuff and we won't get an answer."
"Remember what happened last time we snuck in Grissom's office Greg?"
"Please don't remind me," Greg said pausing what he was doing. "The image of our supervisor's almost getting some is disturbing." Greg fiddled around some more near Grissom's desk. "There."
Sara turned on her walkie-talkie cell phone and paged Nick. "He's done. Check and see if the mike is on," she said.
"Roger that," Nick replied.
"Can you hear me?" Greg whispered into the cup of pencils and pens.
"I got him Sar," Nick said when her head Greg whisper in the break room.
"Nick, you're mom keeps calling me. She wants me to, and I quote, hit that," Greg whispered.
"Greg!" Nick said through the phone, making Sara jump.
"Come on Greg before they get back."
"Alright."
IN THE BREAK ROOM
"Part one is complete," Greg said. "The microphone is installed in Bug Man's office."
"Warrick remind me to choke Greg later for talking about my mom."
"Roger that. How do we know this is going to work?" Warrick asked. Sara sat down in one of the chairs at the glass table. She grabbed a pair of the headphones and put them on. They had borrowed some stuff from Archie in the tech lab.
"They both have to choose who gets the raise this year and when they say Greg, I can laugh in all of your faces and go buy me a new car." He moved to the back of Sara chair and put his hands on her shoulders. What kinda wheels you wanna ride in shawty?"
"Greg, I have a gun. Step away from me," Sara warned him.
"I think they're there," Warrick said with his headphones on also. Greg hurried over to the pair that was waiting on him.
"So about this raise thing," they heard Catherine say, "Why do we have to do it?"
"We work with them so we have to decide," Gil sighed. They heard someone closed the door.
"Let me guess; Ecklie's plan to kiss some more ass."
"What else does he do? So which one of our CSI's should get it?"
BACK IN GRISSOM'S OFFICE
"I don't know." Catherine sat in the chair across from Gil's desk. She opened the file she had been holding and reached for a pen as she talked. She stopped when she saw the tiny microphone sticking out, thanks to Greg's poor hiding stuff skills.
She tapped on Gil's desk to get his attention and pointed at the device. "Maybe I should get the raise."
Gil grabbed a piece of paper. 'Greg?' it read in his scribbles.
"Well Cath that really wouldn't be fair. Supervisors get paid more so that'd be like pluses for you," Gil replied.
'And the rest of them,' Catherine wrote back.
"So you don't want the raise?"
"I have enough for you, me and Lindsey to run off and live like royalty sweetheart."
'I've got a plan. Play along with me,' Catherine winked at Gil when he looked at her after reading her note.
IN THE BREAKROOM
"No way they are getting my money to go play hanky panky in the sand," Greg said.
"How much money do you think Grissom has?" Nick asked.
"Since he's with Catherine, none before he dies," Warrick replied.
Sara shushed them when she heard them talking again.
"So, what if only you and I ran away to live like royalty Gil?"
"What about Lindsey?" Gil asked.
"She didn't want to come. Anyways, what would we do all day?"
"I guess we would… drink that wine you always like to drink. You'd shop me to death and then we'd spend the rest of the evening together."
"Doing what?"
"Whatever you wanted to do honey," Gil replied. They heard someone moving around.
"What if I wanted to do this?"
"I would have no objection."
"This?"
"Continue your trial, no objections."
"Well since all that I'm doing is fine, what would you like to do all day?"
"Can I just show you?"
"Certainly," Catherine replied.
"What the hell are they doing?" Greg asked. "I thought they were suppose to be talking about the raise!"
They all paused when they heard Catherine moan.
"Give it to me Captain Gil."
GRISSOMS OFFICE
"Captain Gil?" Gil mouthed to Catherine. She shrugged her shoulders.
"Do you think you can ride this boat baby?" Gil deepened his voice.
"I don't know Captain. I like big boats." Catherine laughed silently.
"Well I have a Titanic, if you're interested." Gil smirked.
"Hm. I'll just have to see how accurate your words are… You're right. Let's get to navigating this thing."
BREAK ROOM
All four CSI's had disgusted looks on their faces, but they keep the headphones on.
"Oh my god. Our supervisors are freaks," Warrick said.
"It's like a train wreck," Greg said. "I don't want to listen… but I can't help it."
"Oooo. Yes Gil. YES! GOD YES!"
"I like the waters of Ocean Catherine," Gil whispered.
"Right there. YES! Move Greg's iPod."
"Don't move Cath."
"Why not?"
"Turn the other way. I have to go backwards."
"Yes, Captain."
"Are these trick earphone?" Nick asked.
"No man, we hear it too," Warrick replied.
"How's the ride?"
"So good," Gil groaned.
"Faster. Harder. YES!"
Greg ripped off his headphones and hit his ears. "Get out of my head!" he yelled. He turned around and ran into the glass door.
GRISSOM'S OFFICE
Catherine was now on the floor laughing, trying to keep her giggles mute. She felt the tears roll down her face, banging her fist on the side of the desk finding away to express her laugher. Gil carefully picked up the microphone and dropped it on the floor so he could step on it.
"Wow. I didn't know you could fake it so well," Gil said.
Catherine rested her chin on the edge of his desk, still on the floor.
"I have lots of practice. Not with you though." Catherine wiped the laughing tears off her face. "God that was funny. Wait until we face them." Catherine laughed again.
Gil sat on the edge of his desk and helped Catherine off the floor.
"You were pretty good at faking too," she commented.
"Natural ability I guess." She sat on his leg and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Come on Captain Gil. We have to go announce who gets the raise."
"Who does get the raise Cath?"
BREAK ROOM
Everyone took off the headphones when high-pitched sounds shoot through them.
"Damn," Warrick said.
"I didn't know they were into role playing," Nick said.
"I don't think Greg will want his iPod back." Sara scrunched her face up.
"I'm okay if any of you are wondering," Greg said from the floor.
"Get up Greg. The captain is coming," Sara joked. Greg quickly got up and sat in one of the chairs. "Act Normal guys."
"What about this thing?" Warrick asked, but it was too late, Gil and Catherine were already there.
"So yeah man. Tina was bugging," Warrick said, "Hey guys."
"Hey. What's that?" Catherine asked.
"We were um… listening to the radio. We borrowed it from Archie," Sara replied.
"Hmm. Slow night huh?"
"Yeah."
"What's wrong with Greg?" Grissom asked opening his can of soda. Greg sat with a worried, zombied look on his face."
"Nothing. Greg's fine."
"Some old lady flashed today."
"For some reason I think that Greg would actually like that," Catherine replied while she played with the newspaper. "Oh look what I made." Catherine walked over to Gil and placed a newspaper hat on his head.
"Look guys. Captain Gil of the Titanic." Catherine giggled and gave him a kiss on the lips.
"No! No! Stop!" Greg yelled. He got up from his chair and ran down the halls of crime lab.
Catherine and Grissom winked at each other discretely.
"Are you guys sure Greg's okay?" Catherine asked with so much pure innocents in her voice.
Take two: FAILED!
A/N: I laughed thought almost all of this, in tears. Hope you guys enjoy! Peace, love and Grillows.