Insert author's note here…

Disclaimer: I do not own Charlie the Unicorn. Nor do I own Naruto. That's Kishimoto's claim to fame.

Rock Lee's Grand Unicorn Adventure

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Once upon a time, there was a young man named Rock Lee. Now, Rock Lee was seen as strange to some (everyone), and he was avoided by some because of this (everyone). This would make Lee cry. So eventually, Rock Lee would just go to a certain place that he called his own, and would just lay down there, and cry. It was his meadow.

One day, three unicorns happened upon Rock Lee as he napped away. The center unicorn round-house kicked him in the ribs. Don't ask me how.

Lee woke with a start. "Gah!" he screamed as he clutched his bleeding side.

"Yo, bowl cut! We need some…help," the center unicorn growled in this weird New-Yorker accent.

But Lee didn't know what a New Yorker was, seeing as he is from Japan. So that really had no significance at all. "You're a unicorn." Lee stared.

"Yeah, thanks. Which way is Candy…Mountain?" he muttered, as if ashamed to even be asking.

Lee blinked. "You're a unicorn who can talk."

"YEAH I KNOW."

"Hey, hey Charlie!" One of the other unicorns bounced up and down. Without even using his leg joints. Lee stared some more.

"We're unicorns, Charlie!" The other one bounced up and down.

"Oh, Gawd. See what you've done?"

Lee still stared. Finally, he stood up and said: "Yosh! I will show you Candy Mountain!"

The unicorn giggled with glee, while the other one muttered curses under his breath.

"Just wait a moment, while I go get my map!" Lee pointed to a tree behind him.

The unicorns waited while Lee disappeared behind his tree. He quickly reappeared with a rifle of some sort.

The center unicorn, identified as Charlie, raised an eyebrow. "Hey that's not a—"

BOOM!

Charlie keeled over from the bullet to his brain.

The other unicorns screamed and bounced away. But one can only get so far so quickly without using their leg joints.

BANG!

FWOOSH!

All unicorns now lay dead in Rock Lee's personal meadow. Lee stared at the dead unicorns in shock. "Oh. My. Lanta. They were real."

Rock Lee recovered rather quickly from the shock that he had killed, possibly, the world's only unicorns. He then mounted their heads on his mantle at his house. Don't ask me if Japanese people have mantles in their houses.

Some days later, his best friends in the whole wide world (teammates/associates/people-who-have-to-put-up-with-him) came over for a visit. Lee was thrilled! No one ever visited him!

Neji knocked on the door hesitantly, only for it to swing open and smack him the face. He fell over and rolled down Lee's driveway (Japanese house in ninja village—probably doesn't have one). TenTen pointed at him and laughed.

After Neji trekked back up Lee's driveway (coughnonexistantcough), he and TenTen entered Lee's house.

Neji blinked when he saw the unicorn heads. He stared. And stared. And stared.

And stared.

AND STARED.

Then he turned away and walked off without saying anything.

Lee was disappointed by Neji's reaction. He turned to TenTen. She was sobbing uncontrollably.

After all, she had needed that kidney.

The End

This probably won't make much sense if you haven't seen the flash "Charlie the Unicorn" on Youtube. Also, for the record, I don't hate Lee. This was solely for my own cruel amusement. R&R.