Author's Note: Think that it was a little outrageous that Umbridge used all of Snape's stores of Veritaserum? Maybe this occurred outside of Harry's knowledge during that tumultuous fifth year, and this is why all of the Veritaserum is gone. And maybe this is why Snape doesn't really mind the Weasley twins. Enjoy, everyone. As usual, I do not own anything recognizable. I am just playing with the characters, etc. that belong to JK Rowling. ~ RK
Love & Luck's Rewards
Dolores Umbridge realized that her usual daily plan was radically altered when she was only halfway through her breakfast at the head table in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. She had a mission to accomplish today that overruled every other goal for her busy day. With her ridiculously pink and plumy quill, she scratched out every item on her to do list with a single slash. Gone from her list were things like 'Ensure Proper Dress and Decorum Among Students…And Staff,' and 'Establish Acceptable Distance Boys and Girls Must Keep From Each Other,' and 'Decide If Professor Vector is Worth Keeping,' and 'Have Filch Hang the Weasley Products Notice.' Instead she added two items.
When she looked again at what she'd written, she blushed as pink as her clothing, and hurriedly folded the parchment and tucked it safely away in a concealed pocket, looking around at the others in the Great Hall. Did they see what she'd written? She felt like a schoolgirl all over again. She giggled to herself, but tried to hide it with another long sip of tea.
~X~X~X~X~X~
"Think anyone's noticed yet?"
"Bet she has."
The orange-haired twins of Gryffindor stared at the school's most hated professor as she enjoyed her morning breakfast. They weren't even looking at what they were reaching for to eat. They just kept staring at Umbridge and blindly nibbled on their toast, keeping their wicked smiles on their faces even as they chewed.
"Noticed what?" asked their only sister from several places down.
"Who cares?" hissed Ron. "Probably another stupid joke."
Fred and George exchanged a look. It definitely was a joke, but not their typical type. This one would be much more interesting to see how it played out and whom it affected. They looked forward to tracking Dolores Umbridge's every movement today on this fine Saturday. Good thing they wouldn't be missing classes for this. "Ready, Fred?"
"Ready, George."
Only a moment later, they saw Umbridge practically leering at the Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House from all the way across the head table. For the first time that they could remember, Snape looked incredibly uncomfortable. So much so that he actually shifted in his chair.
"It's working."
After enduring her stare for another second, Snape gathered his dignity and then carefully placed his napkin beside his plate. He took a last sip from his goblet before he stood, said something to Professor McGonagall, and then left the Great Hall with as much composure as possible. Almost as soon as he passed their peripheral vision, they noticed Umbridge stand quickly and follow Snape with as little composure as possible. The twins watched as she scurried past them like an anxious plump flamingo, which shed a feather as she passed…
…only it wasn't a feather. It was a folded piece of parchment.
Fred couldn't resist. He picked up the parchment and began to unfold it, while George nudged him repeatedly in the arm.
"Let's go, brother! The chase is on."
Fred read the parchment that he picked up. There was no mistaking the pink ink. But the words written on it underneath the scratched out items made him unsure if he should laugh or not. He was being dragged out of the Great Hall by George as he shoved the rose colored and scented parchment at his twin, urging him to read it.
It contained two simple sentences.
'Confess Undying Love to Severus Snape.'
'Obtain Felix Felicis to Find Him…Tricky.'
While Fred couldn't manage a laugh, George exploded in a guffaw. In only a matter of moments, they decided to split up to assist their own experiment a little. "I think even frilly toads could use a hand sometimes, don't you, Fred?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned to a certain Housemate. "Hey, we heard that last year you snuck into Snape's potion cabinet. Care to divulge that secret?" Harry Potter just stared at them.
Then, he began to speak.
~X~X~X~X~X~
She never expected it to be this difficult to track down Severus Snape. He was obviously a clever, dark, attractive man. Who knew being in love could be this exhausting! She definitely needed a little break. So, she sought some refuge in her very pink office, in her very pink chair, sipping some very pink tea after adding some very pink sugar, and staring at the framed photo of Cornelius Fudge.
What in the name of Merlin's non-pink nose hairs did she find attractive about that man? She did not know.
Suddenly, an owl flew into her office through the open window. Attached to its leg was a tiny vial. One of the smallest potions vials she had ever seen. Curiously, she removed it from the owl's leg. There was no note that could tell her who sent it or where it came from. But the vial was labeled.
The two words on the label made her lips curl into an ecstatic smile.
Felix Felicis.
~X~X~X~X~X~
Today was the day that Severus Snape felt like a dunderhead. He knew that for some inexplicable reason that vile Umbridge woman was following him around. What he couldn't figure out was why that was. He was sure that he wasn't on her list of teachers to sack this week. Nor was he aware of having anything she could possibly want. Regardless of the reason for her trailing after him, it was growing more and more disconcerting and annoying with every blow to his dignity her pursuit caused. He'd already hid himself behind several statues under a powerful disillusionment charm. He'd hidden underneath tapestries. He'd gone into the kitchens for a surprise visit with the house elves, though he had to admit that he could just barely start to understand why that Potter brat enjoyed that treacle tart so much; it was mouthwateringly delicious. He'd even sought refuge for an hour in the common room belonging to the Hufflepuffs! Each sanctuary was a desperate escape from that pink frog-like woman.
He opened the door of his current hiding place. Of all things, it was a broom cupboard. He couldn't believe it. He cracked the door open just enough to check if the corridor was clear. It seemed to be. Maybe it would be worth the risk of trying to sneak back to his office. Maybe it could be safe.
He slunk out of the cupboard and closed the door behind him, trying to be as silent as he could. But then, when he turned around again he faced something terrifying.
A smiling, giggling, and eye-batting Dolores Umbridge.
~X~X~X~X~X~
From around the torso of a corridor statue, Fred and George desperately held back their laughter at the unrestrained shock and terror that was obvious on Snape's face. They were struggling so much not to laugh that they missed everything that the pink and portly professor said to the Potions Master. The only thing they heard was the response she received. "It seems that you are under the effects of Amortentia."
"What complete nonsense, Snape! I've been keeping these feelings for you inside for weeks!" She took a step closer to him, invading his personal space further than before.
Snape retreated and quickly realized that he had nowhere else he could go. He pressed himself up against the door to the broom cupboard. "Your attacking and questioning the manner in which I conduct my classes have not been done out of your professed affections for me. You have been given Amortentia most likely as a prank from a student, no doubt, that holds no affection for you."
"Affection for me? Oh, Severus!" She placed her hands on his chest and began to drift even closer to him in an attempt to get even closer to Snape.
"No, you are mistaken; I have no feelings for you with the exception of disgust, dislike, and distaste."
She now was pressed fully against Snape. She giggled. He grimaced. Fred and George clutched themselves in silent hysterics.
"I believe," she said as she ran her finger along his jaw, trying to be as seductive as possible. It had the direct opposite effect on Snape. "That you are protesting my love too much."
He twitched away from her wandering finger. "Remove yourself from me," he ordered as sharply as he could. He began to push her away, but she resisted with all her might.
Snape then felt he had no choice but to use a banishing charm on her. She was flung backward across the corridor where she smashed into the very statue that Fred and George were hiding behind. Immediately, Dolores Umbridge was unconscious once her head made contact with the statue.
And immediately afterward, the murderous look that Severus Snape fixed upon the Gryffindor twins was as affective as a Petrificus Totalus charm. They were frozen for only a moment, before they decided to try to make a run for it. After one stride, they were hit with an actual Petrificus Totalus by their Potions Professor. They were aware but could not move a muscle as Snape grabbed them – one boy's collar in each fist – and hauled them away from the scene of the crime. Severus Snape took them all the way into his office where he released them from the spell and slammed them into chairs, before he reapplied the Petrificus Totalus charm.
He only spoke two words, and those very words terrified Fred and George.
"Accio Veritaserum!"
A small vial flew into his waiting hand. With endless black eyes, he glared upon the boys. "Swallow." Without conscious effort, both boys opened their mouths. With deliberate care, Snape let half of the vial flow into George's open mouth. He then emptied nearly the rest of it into Fred's mouth.
"I have only enough of this potion for three final doses. Should Umbridge need to question anyone, she will only have three victims to choose from. I refuse to supply that woman with any of my work." Snape stopped the vial again before he spoke again. "Now," his tone was soft but deadly, as though daring them to attempt to resist his potion. "I know that someone stole from my personal stores. Was it you?"
As one they spoke in monotone. "Yes."
An odd sort of smile began to spread across Snape's face. "And upon investigating the remaining potions within, the Amortentia was missing. Did you take it?"
It was a unanimous response. "Yes."
An eyebrow twitched. The wicked smile grew. "And did you use it in Umbridge's tea this morning, causing me to flee from that vile woman for the majority of the day?"
"Yes."
"Did you know that she would find me as the target of her unwanted affections?"
"No."
There was a pause before he continued. "I'm sure you found yourselves clever."
"Yes."
Snape lost his smile, but he did nod. "It was clever. And I know that Amortentia could have targeted anyone. What was your intention with this…prank?"
Fred answered first, "Yes, a prank."
George continued for his twin. "Just to embarrass Umbridge and show her out of control of something."
"Anything, really," finished Fred.
Snape nodded. "Therefore, it was her humiliation that was the goal and not mine?"
"Yes."
"But it was a little funny she went after you," interjected George.
Snape closed his eyes. "From your perspective I can at the most understand that. And I know that you are telling the truth." Then, he fixed his gaze upon the boys. "However, since you managed to involve me in this humiliation, there must be repercussions from me to you both."
They began to shake, wondering what horrifying scenario they would be forced to live out for their imminent detention. Would it be to remove the wings from the still living lacewing flies? Would it be to collect the slimy trails of snails? Would it be to collect the juices from the poisonous plants? The words that Snape said surprised them both.
"I know that her presence is difficult to endure for all of us, but it seems moreso for you two than any other student…with the possible exception of Potter." He sighed. "Even I am willing to admit that you are both clever in your inventions and joke products. While I do not condone pranks in any way, I do acknowledge that yours are completely harmless and lacking in malice. In fact, I would say that they are exceedingly creative."
"Th-thank you," George managed to recover his voice, when his brother could not.
"And as a person who once spent a great deal of his schooldays inventing new potions or altering their recipes, I find it unhelpful to discourage creativity." Fred and George were now approaching a level of shock. "Therefore I propose a bargain. I hear you both wish to begin business for yourselves that would rival that of Zonko's. I will assist you in those first steps, and assist you in all of your potions for your products on one condition."
Fred and George stared at him, their focus on him fiercer than ever before.
"That you leave Hogwarts before you graduation, doing so as quietly or grandly as you wish."
The Gryffindor twins smiled.
~X~X~X~X~X~
Fred and George Weasley decided to leave Hogwarts in a grand and colorful way. They knew fireworks were a necessity, that it would happen after Umbridge did something incredibly unjust. Since Quidditch was such a large part of their Hogwarts days, they knew they needed to leave on their brooms. So they waited and waited until the opportune moment. It just so happened that it was in the middle of their youngest brother's O.W.L. exam. That couldn't be helped.
From his hiding place in the shadows, Severus Snape watched as students from all four houses of the school laughed for the first time since Umbridge graced them with her presence. A tiny and rare smile hinted at his own delight at the event taking place. He didn't even blame Filius Flitwick's quick celebratory dance amongst the students.
As Snape saw the Weasley twins fly off into the proverbial sunset, the colors and booms of fireworks as half of their send-off, he knew that the bargain he'd made with the boys was worthwhile, and a good one. After all, he was encouraging their greatest talent. It was the other half of their send-off, which remained behind among all of the gathered students and professors, and it was a talent Snape knew would become the legacy of Fred and George Weasley.
The talent for making others laugh.
End Note: Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to leave a review on your way out. Thank you! ~ RK