I'm freeeeeeeeeeeee! And in my freedom I have finished a very silly one-shot! Beware that when I say 'very silly' I mean reeeeeally very silly! From the second part at least, but it is in fact based on a true story involving one of my previous housemates.

Sam sighed as she filed away her research notes. She ruffled her hair slightly sighing as she moved over to her desk. She worked for the better part of three years on the Stargate program only to have some jumped up, pencil pushing politician with a holier than thou attitude shut it all down. In an unexpected rush of anger, Sam slammed down a theoretical physics book.

'Careful there Carter, some of this- wait- all of this stuff looks pricey.' Colonel O'Neill strolled into her lab hands shoved into the pockets of his dress blues.

Sam half smiled at him as she placed the book exaggeratedly on a shelf, to which the Colonel smirked whilst plonking himself on her swivel seat.

'Sooooo...' He tried to look at her seriously as he spun round on the seat. Sam blinked at him before shrugging off her jacket and hanging it up.

'Sooooo...' She mimicked sitting down on the other swivel seat facing the spinning Colonel. He stopped and leaning towards her on the desk.

'I heard something interesting...' He drawled at her smirking at her even wider than before. In the months that Sam had worked with Jack O'Neill there was one thing she knew. A smirk like that, was not good, in fact it was downright dangerous. Especially when aimed at her.

'Did you sir?' Sam tried to be as casual as possible leaning back in the chair. She couldn't be too close to that smirk, it lead to thoughts that she really couldn't be having.

'I heard a certain Sparky asked you something...' Sam closed eyes, wondering what she had done in a previous life to deserve such treatment.

'A certain Mister Glass-is-half-empty? Mister Kiss-Ass? Lt. Colonel-'

'Ack! Yeah Samuels asked me out! And it is beyond horrifying! Thank you so very much for bringing it up Colonel.' Sam exclaimed rapidly turning to hide her burning face. Despite the fact that she wasn't facing him, she knew that the Colonel was grinning manically with his hands at the back of his head.

'Sorry Carter, it was too hilarious to pass up. Did you really blurt out the codes of conduct for officers at him in 30 seconds flat?'

'Yeah before I ran and hid in Janet's office.' Sam turned round to face him and saw that he was nodding in an impressed manner.

'That's where I'd go. No one would dare mess with the formidable Doc.' Sam smiled, sitting opposite him once again.

'It was either that or your office.'

'You do realise that I wouldn't be there right?' The Colonel pointed out as he began to spin on the seat once again.

What was he five or something?

'Samuels doesn't know that you avoid that place at all costs, now does he?' Sam gave him a smirk of her own before heading towards the door.

'Spoken to Daniel?' The Colonel stopped spinning and looked up at Sam who had begun shuffling with varying pieces of paper scattered on her desk.

'I tried but all I got was 'idiotic bible-bashing money scrounging morons' and what I'm convinced are cursed in about 12 languages. I only understood a few of them, I didn't realise that Daniel had such a filthy mouth.' Sam kicked her legs slightly and watched as the Colonel started doodling on a blank piece of paper.

'Our boy's growing up.' He dramatically sniffed and looked up at her with a mock expression of pride.

'You've corrupted to poor lad.' Sam countered smiling wryly.

Both officers laughed lightly at each other before a thought struck Sam causing her to sober up rapidly.

'What about Teal'c?' The Colonel sighed gravely and leaned back in the chair.

'General Hammonds appealing to let him go home, but chances are Kinsey's not going to let it happen.'

'Damn.' Sam closed her eyes and shook her head sadly.

'He's now hidden himself in his room, to avoid us.' The Colonel nodded at her.

'That chicken.' Sam tried to joke but it fell flat as both of them looked sadly at each other. A depressing silence enveloped the room.

'You know what we need to do Carter?' Sam blinked slowly up at him and cocked her head curiously, expecting some grand plan to save the programme.

'Get insanely, stupidly drunk.' The Colonel stared levelly at her. Okay not a grand plan to save the programme.

Sam pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes before smirking.

'Best idea I have ever heard.' They both smirked at each other before bolting out of the lab.

Sam lifted her head slightly and groaned as she opened her eyes slowly. She rapidly shut them and burrowed her head back into her pillow.

Oh god, her head was ringing.

She felt something move across her face and she swatted it away mumbling irritatingly. An annoyed grumbled followed it and Sam ventured to open her eyes again and sleepily looked round.

A very bleary eyed Daniel stood in the doorway in a tee shirt and his boxers with crooked glasses, holding a cup of coffee lopsidedly. Sam slowly heaved herself into a sitting position and massaged her temple and groaned again. Teal'c entered the room and silently handed her a cup of coffee to which Sam grabbed eagerly managed a weak smile.

'Whas ever'one doin' in my room?' A muffled voice issued from beside Sam. Sam slowly looked round to see the Colonel blinking up at them all.

Sam's eyes widened as realization slowly toppled over her pretty blonde head. She glanced round to see the Colonel leaning on his forearms and blinking slowly up at her.

Sam flew out of the bed tripping over her feet and landing with a loud 'ouff' onto the floor.

'God Sam what the hell happened to your pants?' Daniel exclaimed covering his eyes with his free hand. Teal'c arched his eyebrow and left the room. Sam turned and looked down at her bare legs.

God she should never drink as she copped on to the fact that she was only clad in her tee shirt and underpants. She groaned in embarrassment but couldn't find the will in her to move.

'Daniel, third drawer, sweats.' The Colonel mumbled pulling the blankets over his head, but not before he glanced down at Sams' legs.

Well that was something.

Sam yelped in surprised at the pair of sweats hit her full in the face and she glared up at Daniel.

'You're mean when you're hung over, you know that Daniel.' Sam pouted up at Daniel as he stood drinking his coffee, one arm folded across his chest. Sam tossed the sweats aside and crossed her legs , smirking at Daniel and taking a sip of her own coffee.

'And you apparently have no shame.' Daniel arched an eyebrow and scrunched his nose.

'Oh I'm just enjoying the hilarious look of judgementalness on your face.' Sam half giggled, despite the dull throb in her head.

'So you turn into Jack when you're hung over.' Daniel leaned back against the counter and scowled at her. Sam countered with a cheery smile before getting up, stretching obviously and giggling at Daniels blush and heading into the bathroom.

As she came back out feeling a lot more refreshed and noticed that the Colonel was up now and cradling a cup of coffee with his eyes closed. Sam hurriedly jogged over to the discarded sweats, now cursing the fact that she was teasing Daniel and yanked them on.

'Bashful now are we?' Daniel mocked from the doorway, fully dressed now and zipping up his jumper.

'I don't think that I'd be as embarrassed about this as you, therefore not as entertaining.' The Colonel muttered from his mug.

'A bit too much leg first thing in the morning, especially when A; Sam's not my wife and B; I'm ridiculously hung over.'

'God, you're snarky today.' The Colonel retorted and Sam rolled her eyes and walked out and into the kitchen. She automatically winced as she noticed the mess that Teal'c was currently cleaning up and she moved to help after she swallowed a couple of pills.

'Sorry about last night Teal'c.' Sam smiled apologetically at the large man, who simply inclined his head in acceptance. They both stopped and stared as Daniel and the Colonel griped at one another as they enter the room.

After about five minutes of watching the back and forth Sam pulled herself up onto the counter and grabbed some of the leftover popcorn and continued to observe the two men squabble.

Teal'c tried to intervene several times, but eventually, with an almost sigh, he relented and continued to clean up. Sam continued to watch both men argue like an old married couple and inadvertently giggled at the thought. Her eyes widened as they both stopped and turned to look at her. Sam gulped before smiling sheepishly.

Daniel opened his mouth to say something but the Colonel, who was smirking in such a way that Sam was sorely tempted to scoot back a few more inches, cut across him.

'Oh leave her be, she does need a laugh after Samuels asked her out yesterday.' Sam's jaw dropped in horror as Daniels' face light up with glee.

'Seriously Sir? What have I ever done to warrant this?'

'This is what you get for kicking me last night.' Sam blinked at him and blushed.

'I was asleep! How could I help it?'

'You were in the spare room with Daniel when I crashed.' The Colonel countered leaning on the counter next to her. Sam frowned and opened her mouth but after a few seconds shut it and closed her eyes.

'Damn.' Daniel at this point startled laughing, after a few minutes he was crying and wheezing.

'Sam Carter, a bed hopper. I should tell Samuels.' Sam at this point started chucking popcorn at Daniel.

'Shut up Daniel. I'm never going to live this down am I?' Sam sighed ruffling her hair and shaking her head at the pair.

'Gods no Sam, but thanks, I feel a lot better now.' Daniel continued to chuckle and the Colonel patted her leg in a patronizing manner.

'Well as long as I'm a source of amusement for you both.' She muttered sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

Both men laughed at her and left the kitchen, Sam glared at them as they left and kicked her legs irritably.

As she stared down at her legs she decided that she should never drink again.

God knows she didn't want to end up in another embarrassing situation like this ever again.

'Sam? Why on earth are you jeans on top of the TV?' Daniels voice issued from the living room, with barely disguised glee laced in his voice.

Sam groan hitting her head off the cabinet behind her, she had clearly thought too soon.

Yeah, she was never drinking again.

Ever.

I wasn't kidding was I? This was terribly goofy and silly. Blame post exam delirium. I figured that this episode needed a side of silly, even if it is one of my favourite episodes.

As always read and review... I'm so glad to be back... and again apologies for the insanity of this piece... I just couldn't help myself.

Thanking you ever so muchly in advance!